When people learn that I've bought almost nothing new since 2007, their response is usually something along the lines of "what about this specific category?!" and the response in my head is pretty much that I have no need for whatever they've mentioned, as I already have enough.
I don't buy things to cheer myself up, I rarely even buy things as gifts as I can give consumables or simply take someone out to eat. My overwhelming take is that I already have enough, if not too much! I don't even want to receive things as gifts, as again, I have enough.
Having the contentment of enough creates immunity to advertisers, to cute things in stores, to the feeling that some random item is the one thing to complete your life. The idea that you possess a hole that can only be filled with a purchasable item.
Enough-- Agreed!
Immunity to advertisers-- Oh, yes! Hit that TV mute button!
We are currently evaluating our computer usage, as when support is stopped for Windows 10 next week, our machines will become obsolete. How soon after that is unclear; mine might soldier on for a while.
Do we otherwise need new machines? No. Do we need to do all sorts of supposedly cool and fast things with them that we're not doing now? No. Am I frustrated at knowing we will have useless, not-updatable computers to dispose of? Yes, very.
My son (who knows things about computers) has set up my VERY old laptop with Linux. You can download it free and it's very similar in form to Windows.
It's low in viruses, and crowd-sourced. My laptop is over ten years old, and it still works well enough for me.
So very true! Also when I look around my house, I see many things that came from family - grandparents and others who were downsizing when dh and I were starting out. Am I willing to take the kitchen tools used for 30 years prior? Yes, of course! They were well built, quality items and have lasted another 30! No, I'm not using dishes with lead paint, but I cook almost daily in the winter with a beautiful cast iron dutch oven that is 60+ years old. And I regularly pop popcorn in it! I set a beautiful table with heirloom linens, china, and silver candlesticks. Even my ordinary tools, hammer, pliers, screwdrivers, are legacy!
Instead of shopping I like to read, walk, talk with friends. I don't need to decorate for every season and have stopped doing some crafts because they seemed to be a way to buy new materials to turn into kitsch. I do like and own some beautiful handcrafted things, and I admire that art, but I don't need to hot glue and bedazzle my way to the latest in halloween decorations!
When my maternal grandmother died, I "inherited" her kitchenware and utensils when my mother and I cleared out her apartment. I still use those now 60-70 year old items (mixing bowls, platters. etc.) every day. And I think of her....
I feel the same way about crafts! While I definitely appreciate the entertainment value, most crafts require an expenditure and storage level that is beyond what I want to spend and store. More often than not it results in kitsch and I am trying to minimize that in my life. When I am tempted, i usually can talk myself out of “aspirational” projects by asking myself if I really have a use for the end product. I know many crafters/quilters, etc. who have piles of supplies and fabric that they will never be able to use up.
I live not far from a port used for shipping and I make hats and scarves for seafarers. Most of them are not from the US and are not allowed to get off ships that stop at ports.
I know people that craft small bears and donate them to the local police station. They are used when they have to deal with children.
There is a local ELCA Lutheran Church that makes simple quilts for donation, through Lutheran World Relief, around the world. Most of their material is donated and they use sheets for backings: https://lwr.org/quilts/resources
There are also members of the church that sew drawstring bags to hold donated school supplies and sew baby items (including diapers) for Baby Care Kits. The Care Kits are used as carrots to incentivize women to attend pre and post natal appointments.
I'm sure there are many additional ways for people to craft items for others that will be appreciated and used.
I don't have the name: There is an organization that sews menstrual pads for teens in Africa, so they can continue their schooling without having to take a few days off each month.
Thanks K D and Heidi Louise for those great ideas! I have made small blankets (knitted) for cancer patients in the past. The group I worked with stopped doing that so I haven't in a long time. I'm inspired to find another organization to work with! Thanks!!
This simple idea is always hard for me. A background of lack and disruption led me to equate having extra anything with feeling safe. I have accepted that I'm going to have to be conscious about this maybe forever rather than hoping it will just go away. I buy very little new, but free piles and excess anything sing a siren song that sometimes only I can hear.
I do better now that I realize it's something to deal with and not inevitable. Do I have the thought? Yes. Does having the thought mean it's true? No.
Katy, our Bible study group met this morning and our discussion and lesson centered around exactly that topic! Would you mind if I forward your comments to the other class participants? I think they'd love to read this!
Our little group also talked about whether we are sufficiently thankful for the things we have now, and our leader asked why we are rushing out to buy new items when we all have homes already full of STUFF? And probably everything we need.
I mentioned how the "Father of Advertising" taught merchants to "create a need" in would-be customers' minds that they must have [whatever the merchant sold] or that they would be "inadequate." This psychology has certainly worked!
Also, the Tightwad Gazette had a write-up about how dept. stores got into the holiday act and made people think if you don't shop 'til you drop and buy your family and friends tons of STUFF, they'll think you don't love them. Prior to all that, people made each other simple little gifts for Christmas and everything was low key and heart felt.
One class member said she had spent one Christmas in Italy and over there, they don't fill shop windows with toys and gifts and items to buy. They just show little Christmas cakes in their window displays. Then on Christmas Day and the day after (St. Stephen's Day over there), they have street vendors (small businesses, I imagine Mom and Pop cottage shops) sell little items, nothing too major or expensive, for the parents to buy their children. She said Christmas is much quieter and more beautiful this way, and one can attend concerts and church services and get into the real spirit of the season, which is NOT consumerism, materialism, commercialization, Santa Claus or other totally secular things.
I was in Stockhom Sweden one year in early December and visited their “big” department store called NK. I wanted to purchase a Christmas themed item. I was so surprised that while they had some Christmas decor in the store, the amount of Christmas merchandise was limited to one small area on a top floor. I was told they don’t even decorate until the Christmas season begins at the start of advent - and much of their decor centers around advent themed merchandise. Nowhere to be found was the ubiquitous cheap Christmas stuff that is so present in the US.
I am reminded about a conversation my mother had with my cousin, Larry, back in the mid 1980's. My grandmother had leukemia and my mother, her 7 siblings, and their spouses (my dad died prior to this) took turns staying with Grandma 24/7 for 2 years until she passed. Larry was a hard worker and he had a job digging graves at 2 local cemetaries. He was "cognatively disabled," as he was "slow." Every day he worked at the cemetary next to Grandma's house, he would have lunch with Grandma and whomever was taking care of her. He came for lunch on a Friday when my mom was there, and it happened to be his payday. At lunch, he handed my mom his paycheck and said, "Aunt Elma, this is all I'm worth." Mom looked at it, handed it back to him, and said "Larry, I'm not exactly sure where it is at the moment, but the bible says to 'be happy with who you are and what you have.'" He thought for a few minutes and repeated what mom had said to him -- and all was right in Larry's world again.
I am slowly, but diligently, trying to get rid of "stuff". I have way too many canning jars...need to get rid of SOME of those. I have a number of plastic shoeboxes in our spare room that are labeled with things like "Rarely Used Kitchen Utensils" (potato masher, turkey baster, pastry cloth, etc - I use, but not often enough to keep them readily accessable in the kitchen). I need to go through each of those shoeboxes and decide what genuinely needs to be kept and what can go.
There are many other things, like old photos, that can go. We've done 2 purges and our daughter doesn't know most of the people...she doesn't want them, so they will end with us.
My sister insisted I take a bag full of assorted birthday cards, as she had gotten too many. I took them, but I don't buy birthday cards and there's a gallon bag full of them. They will be donated elsewhere.
Pictures - not photos, those ones you display on your walls. ("Decorative Art") We have too many and no place to store extras that we could rotate them out. Have to decide which ones can stay and which ones must go.
If anyone has words of wisdom for purging and downsizing, I'm all ears!
Katy, and anyone else in the Portland area, I was devestated to learn of the recent ICE attack on a group of peaceful protesters. An 84-year-old couple (husband is a Vietnam Veteran and uses a walker) were among others who got tackled by ICE agents. The wife was hurt pretty bad and the husband only had minor injuries. Talk about "ENOUGH!" This is crazy! We only have the Orange Ogre, his cronies, and anyone who voted for him to blame.
On another note, while this is sad, it is nice to see that at least there is one decent Republican. Just the other day, a non-verbal, autistic 7 year boy wandered off from his home in a neighboring town. His body was found in the river the next morning. One of our local State Representatives is proposing that Pennsylvania enact the "Purple Alert" system (like an "Amber Alert" or a "Silver Alert"). Currently, only Kansas, Maryland, Connecticut, Florida, and Mississippi use the Purple Alert system. It is for missing people with a developmental or intellectual disability, brain injury, or another mental, physical, or emotional disability not due to drug abuse, Alzheimer's or dementia. As a school van driver with a semi-verbal (only a few words or short phrases), autistic 14-year-old on my van, I encourage everyone to write their legislators to get a "Purple Alert" enacted in all 50 states, DC, and all US Territories.
Like a lot of people, I not only have enough, I have too much. Now that I am retired, I am slowly cleaning out drawers, cabinets and closets trying to get rid of things we no longer use or want. I am even finding things I forgot I had which is kind of embarrassing!
Marilyn, no judgment here! I consider myself a minimalist and yet I still come across things and think, "Where did this come from and how long has it been here?!"
How much we spend is our most potent weapon in our arsenal. Better half told me today that Home Depot is not going to be open every day of the week (full disclosure: I am tired of the owner of Home Depot "complaining" no one wants to work" - pay them more and treat them better. This means consumers are cutting back. I don't like that this will mean a financial hit for some employees.
If there is an upside to tariffs, less crap coming into the country and less of it hitting the landfills.
We live in such a consumer-driven world that people cannot fathom not buying new things constantly. When I find extra things, I can usually think of a charity that can use them. I also offer things to my sister or a friend. If they don't want it, then off it goes to the Habitat store. So nice to get all the boxes out of the back seat of my car.
After my sister's ex-husband took all her housewares & small appliances I curb picked the needed items for her. I'm on the hunt for an electric can opener for myself.
I think this is among the best posts ever. Compared to 99.99999999999% of human history we are blessed with more than enough in our lives.
I just finished The Socrates Express and Epicurus believed not only that the perfect is the enemy of the good but also that the good is the enemy of the good enough. I concur.
I am 100% with you Katy in agreeing "I don’t even want to receive things as gifts, as again, I have enough".
It is so sad that so much time and energy is spent convincing people that they need this, that, and the other.
Love this post, Katy!
Enough-- Agreed!
Immunity to advertisers-- Oh, yes! Hit that TV mute button!
We are currently evaluating our computer usage, as when support is stopped for Windows 10 next week, our machines will become obsolete. How soon after that is unclear; mine might soldier on for a while.
Do we otherwise need new machines? No. Do we need to do all sorts of supposedly cool and fast things with them that we're not doing now? No. Am I frustrated at knowing we will have useless, not-updatable computers to dispose of? Yes, very.
My son (who knows things about computers) has set up my VERY old laptop with Linux. You can download it free and it's very similar in form to Windows.
It's low in viruses, and crowd-sourced. My laptop is over ten years old, and it still works well enough for me.
So very true! Also when I look around my house, I see many things that came from family - grandparents and others who were downsizing when dh and I were starting out. Am I willing to take the kitchen tools used for 30 years prior? Yes, of course! They were well built, quality items and have lasted another 30! No, I'm not using dishes with lead paint, but I cook almost daily in the winter with a beautiful cast iron dutch oven that is 60+ years old. And I regularly pop popcorn in it! I set a beautiful table with heirloom linens, china, and silver candlesticks. Even my ordinary tools, hammer, pliers, screwdrivers, are legacy!
Instead of shopping I like to read, walk, talk with friends. I don't need to decorate for every season and have stopped doing some crafts because they seemed to be a way to buy new materials to turn into kitsch. I do like and own some beautiful handcrafted things, and I admire that art, but I don't need to hot glue and bedazzle my way to the latest in halloween decorations!
When my maternal grandmother died, I "inherited" her kitchenware and utensils when my mother and I cleared out her apartment. I still use those now 60-70 year old items (mixing bowls, platters. etc.) every day. And I think of her....
I feel the same way about crafts! While I definitely appreciate the entertainment value, most crafts require an expenditure and storage level that is beyond what I want to spend and store. More often than not it results in kitsch and I am trying to minimize that in my life. When I am tempted, i usually can talk myself out of “aspirational” projects by asking myself if I really have a use for the end product. I know many crafters/quilters, etc. who have piles of supplies and fabric that they will never be able to use up.
Sue,
I have a bit of a hobby that involves knitting and crocheting items for donation. There is a large demand for chemo caps, see:
https://www.knotsoflove.org/
https://delawareheadhuggers.org/
though I donate locally.
I live not far from a port used for shipping and I make hats and scarves for seafarers. Most of them are not from the US and are not allowed to get off ships that stop at ports.
I know people that craft small bears and donate them to the local police station. They are used when they have to deal with children.
There is a local ELCA Lutheran Church that makes simple quilts for donation, through Lutheran World Relief, around the world. Most of their material is donated and they use sheets for backings: https://lwr.org/quilts/resources
There are also members of the church that sew drawstring bags to hold donated school supplies and sew baby items (including diapers) for Baby Care Kits. The Care Kits are used as carrots to incentivize women to attend pre and post natal appointments.
I'm sure there are many additional ways for people to craft items for others that will be appreciated and used.
I don't have the name: There is an organization that sews menstrual pads for teens in Africa, so they can continue their schooling without having to take a few days off each month.
Thanks K D and Heidi Louise for those great ideas! I have made small blankets (knitted) for cancer patients in the past. The group I worked with stopped doing that so I haven't in a long time. I'm inspired to find another organization to work with! Thanks!!
Enough is a wonderful mantra.
This simple idea is always hard for me. A background of lack and disruption led me to equate having extra anything with feeling safe. I have accepted that I'm going to have to be conscious about this maybe forever rather than hoping it will just go away. I buy very little new, but free piles and excess anything sing a siren song that sometimes only I can hear.
I do better now that I realize it's something to deal with and not inevitable. Do I have the thought? Yes. Does having the thought mean it's true? No.
Katy, our Bible study group met this morning and our discussion and lesson centered around exactly that topic! Would you mind if I forward your comments to the other class participants? I think they'd love to read this!
Our little group also talked about whether we are sufficiently thankful for the things we have now, and our leader asked why we are rushing out to buy new items when we all have homes already full of STUFF? And probably everything we need.
I mentioned how the "Father of Advertising" taught merchants to "create a need" in would-be customers' minds that they must have [whatever the merchant sold] or that they would be "inadequate." This psychology has certainly worked!
Also, the Tightwad Gazette had a write-up about how dept. stores got into the holiday act and made people think if you don't shop 'til you drop and buy your family and friends tons of STUFF, they'll think you don't love them. Prior to all that, people made each other simple little gifts for Christmas and everything was low key and heart felt.
One class member said she had spent one Christmas in Italy and over there, they don't fill shop windows with toys and gifts and items to buy. They just show little Christmas cakes in their window displays. Then on Christmas Day and the day after (St. Stephen's Day over there), they have street vendors (small businesses, I imagine Mom and Pop cottage shops) sell little items, nothing too major or expensive, for the parents to buy their children. She said Christmas is much quieter and more beautiful this way, and one can attend concerts and church services and get into the real spirit of the season, which is NOT consumerism, materialism, commercialization, Santa Claus or other totally secular things.
Lovely post! Thank you.
I was in Stockhom Sweden one year in early December and visited their “big” department store called NK. I wanted to purchase a Christmas themed item. I was so surprised that while they had some Christmas decor in the store, the amount of Christmas merchandise was limited to one small area on a top floor. I was told they don’t even decorate until the Christmas season begins at the start of advent - and much of their decor centers around advent themed merchandise. Nowhere to be found was the ubiquitous cheap Christmas stuff that is so present in the US.
ENOUGH, INDEED!
I am reminded about a conversation my mother had with my cousin, Larry, back in the mid 1980's. My grandmother had leukemia and my mother, her 7 siblings, and their spouses (my dad died prior to this) took turns staying with Grandma 24/7 for 2 years until she passed. Larry was a hard worker and he had a job digging graves at 2 local cemetaries. He was "cognatively disabled," as he was "slow." Every day he worked at the cemetary next to Grandma's house, he would have lunch with Grandma and whomever was taking care of her. He came for lunch on a Friday when my mom was there, and it happened to be his payday. At lunch, he handed my mom his paycheck and said, "Aunt Elma, this is all I'm worth." Mom looked at it, handed it back to him, and said "Larry, I'm not exactly sure where it is at the moment, but the bible says to 'be happy with who you are and what you have.'" He thought for a few minutes and repeated what mom had said to him -- and all was right in Larry's world again.
I am slowly, but diligently, trying to get rid of "stuff". I have way too many canning jars...need to get rid of SOME of those. I have a number of plastic shoeboxes in our spare room that are labeled with things like "Rarely Used Kitchen Utensils" (potato masher, turkey baster, pastry cloth, etc - I use, but not often enough to keep them readily accessable in the kitchen). I need to go through each of those shoeboxes and decide what genuinely needs to be kept and what can go.
There are many other things, like old photos, that can go. We've done 2 purges and our daughter doesn't know most of the people...she doesn't want them, so they will end with us.
My sister insisted I take a bag full of assorted birthday cards, as she had gotten too many. I took them, but I don't buy birthday cards and there's a gallon bag full of them. They will be donated elsewhere.
Pictures - not photos, those ones you display on your walls. ("Decorative Art") We have too many and no place to store extras that we could rotate them out. Have to decide which ones can stay and which ones must go.
If anyone has words of wisdom for purging and downsizing, I'm all ears!
Katy, and anyone else in the Portland area, I was devestated to learn of the recent ICE attack on a group of peaceful protesters. An 84-year-old couple (husband is a Vietnam Veteran and uses a walker) were among others who got tackled by ICE agents. The wife was hurt pretty bad and the husband only had minor injuries. Talk about "ENOUGH!" This is crazy! We only have the Orange Ogre, his cronies, and anyone who voted for him to blame.
On another note, while this is sad, it is nice to see that at least there is one decent Republican. Just the other day, a non-verbal, autistic 7 year boy wandered off from his home in a neighboring town. His body was found in the river the next morning. One of our local State Representatives is proposing that Pennsylvania enact the "Purple Alert" system (like an "Amber Alert" or a "Silver Alert"). Currently, only Kansas, Maryland, Connecticut, Florida, and Mississippi use the Purple Alert system. It is for missing people with a developmental or intellectual disability, brain injury, or another mental, physical, or emotional disability not due to drug abuse, Alzheimer's or dementia. As a school van driver with a semi-verbal (only a few words or short phrases), autistic 14-year-old on my van, I encourage everyone to write their legislators to get a "Purple Alert" enacted in all 50 states, DC, and all US Territories.
Like a lot of people, I not only have enough, I have too much. Now that I am retired, I am slowly cleaning out drawers, cabinets and closets trying to get rid of things we no longer use or want. I am even finding things I forgot I had which is kind of embarrassing!
Marilyn, no judgment here! I consider myself a minimalist and yet I still come across things and think, "Where did this come from and how long has it been here?!"
Or, even more embarrassing, what the heck IS this?!
How much we spend is our most potent weapon in our arsenal. Better half told me today that Home Depot is not going to be open every day of the week (full disclosure: I am tired of the owner of Home Depot "complaining" no one wants to work" - pay them more and treat them better. This means consumers are cutting back. I don't like that this will mean a financial hit for some employees.
If there is an upside to tariffs, less crap coming into the country and less of it hitting the landfills.
We live in such a consumer-driven world that people cannot fathom not buying new things constantly. When I find extra things, I can usually think of a charity that can use them. I also offer things to my sister or a friend. If they don't want it, then off it goes to the Habitat store. So nice to get all the boxes out of the back seat of my car.
After my sister's ex-husband took all her housewares & small appliances I curb picked the needed items for her. I'm on the hunt for an electric can opener for myself.
I think this is among the best posts ever. Compared to 99.99999999999% of human history we are blessed with more than enough in our lives.
I just finished The Socrates Express and Epicurus believed not only that the perfect is the enemy of the good but also that the good is the enemy of the good enough. I concur.
I am 100% with you Katy in agreeing "I don’t even want to receive things as gifts, as again, I have enough".
It is so sad that so much time and energy is spent convincing people that they need this, that, and the other.
Superb, succinct post and fabulous comments in response. It's why this blog is my daily favorite.