An Absolutely Perfect "Black Friday"
Yesterday was "Black Friday," which is traditionally a day for Americans to spend enough money for retailers to take their accounts into the "black," which in the accounting world is when revenue exceed expense -- aka profit.
What did I do? I spent the day in my pajamas reading an entire library copy of Eleanor & Park, by Rainbow Rowell. I reheated Thanksgiving leftovers and steered clear of any stressful shopping.
American consumers are hyper-pressured into shopping in the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but we have the choice to not participate!
It's okay to minimize gift giving, both in the amount you give each year, but also the number of people with whom you exchange gifts. It's even okay to not shop whatsoever.
You can source gifts from your Buy Nothing group, things you already own or even a little free library. It's also okay to thrift everything, as there's an obscene glut of already manufactured products available on the secondhand market.
I'm giving you permission to buck retail pressure. You have zero personal responsibility to support the over-manufacture of consumer goods. If we stop buying the junk, maybe they'll stop producing it.
We have been a "non-consumer" family for 30+ years. I broke the rule for my kids as they get those cute Trader Joes Mini bags with gift cards, memberships, etc. Everyone else gets thrifted gifts. We also participate in 2 white elephant exchanges...so fun!
I did celebrate small shop Saturday sale via my farm helpers. They picked up 50% off dog food, 40% off work boots for me and wild bird food at a local farmer.
On Monday we will make wreaths and garlands to sell at the farmers market.
My patients today were stressing about missing the sales and the upcoming holidays. I gently reminded them that its not the stuff they give, it' s the fact they are in the hospital, the gift is them getting healed, getting stronger and celebrating with family and friends, NOT stuff.
My husband and I are going to a white elephant party for his work mates next week and we need to figure out something to bring. The limit is $20. Any ideas?
That's too bad that your patients were worried about shopping while hospitalized.
I’m not sure what the interpretation of “white elephant” is in this context. For my family it’s a silly gift which could be thrifted or bought in a regular store. Sometimes white elephant is bringing something from home you no longer want. Some idea would be TP. Everyone needs that! A really ugly Knick knack (thrift store). Aluminum foil, ziplocks, cheese (everyone loves cheese!) I hate gifts that just add to the junk we have in our homes.
I have found that something consumable (food, treats) and a couple scratch off lottery tickets are very popular items.
This year I bought small cookie tins at my thrift store and made my own trail mix with good quality nuts and M&Ms - inspired by the Seinfeld joke that “trail mix = M&Ms with obstacles”. Easy and appreciated.
Do NOT put in jawbreakers as I learned as a teen and still hear about to this day.
A jar of local honey is always appreciated!
One year I put together a “ Cold Comfort” bag. Kleenex, cough drops, can of chicken soup, fuzzy socks. whatever you have, The Boss thought it wasn’t funny, so he kept it aside. Boo.
Last year One of the most traded gifts that I put together was a specialty Nordic ware loaf pan, cake mix, new silicone spatula, tea towel and jar of my peach jewel jam. All was thrifted for $10, the cake mix was from WinCo on sale.
This year is a basket with leather journal, small Zeiss 10 x 25 binoculars and an Oregon bird book. I will also give a homemade pinecone bird seed ornament total $17.
Gardener's bucket with gloves, snips, seed packages and an amaryllis bulb.
A couple of years ago I gave a basket with a yeti sipper, packs of single serve electrolyte flavors, trail mix and a book of favorite Oregon coast hikes. Everything including the water bottle was $16.
Katy here are some popular white elephant ideas.
Last year One of the most traded gifts that I put together was a specialty Nordic ware loaf pan, cake mix, new silicone spatula, tea towel and jar of my peach jewel jam. All was thrifted for $10, the cake mix was from WinCo on sale.
This year is a basket with leather journal, small Zeiss 10 x 25 binoculars and an Oregon bird book. I will also give a homemade pinecone bird seed ornament total $17.
Gardener's bucket with gloves, snips, seed packages and an amaryllis bulb.
A couple of years ago I gave a basket with a yeti sipper, packs of single serve electrolyte flavors, trail mix and a book of favorite Oregon coast hikes. Everything including the water bottle was $16.
I like to give skillet cookie/brownie mixes in mason jars. You could also include a skillet, especially if you can find one at a thrift store
Great idea, thanks!
I like Trader Joe for small goodies—they have candles, body cremes in nice containers that smell good, kitchen items, trail mix bags,etc.Try TJ’s.
Yes! No need to be in the hospital and being stressed about shopping.
So true and truth be told, it is sad. What have we in this country/world come to?
I spent the day at home, putting up some winter themed decor that I've had for years, reading, napping and watching a documentary Netflix. Today, DH and I dropped off a load of stuff at goodwill, and then went in bought a couple of needed items.
Also a perfect day, what did you buy at Goodwill?
At goodwill we were looking for and found some "new" work shirts (3) and a sport coat for DH. I have been passively shopping for a new purse. The strap broke on last one I had (from a thrift) and could not be repaired (truly could not). I was thrilled to find one that comfortably holds my phone, wallet and small enough to fit under my coat. Even though the prices could have been better, we felt great about purchasing previously owned merch.
I feel it is my duty right now to spend as little with big corporations as I possibly can.
I hope that more people feel they can make a difference in this way.
I know I try to hand over as few dollars as possible to unethical corporations.
I've felt the squeeze this year because of my choice, but many are deeply suffering and I'm standing with them in solidarity.
Am not wanting to feather $$$ nests of big tech outfits financing paving over of the White House rose gardens or destruction of the East Wing. Thrift reigns this year.
Eleanor & Park! Lovely choice since it is a frequently challenged book. I couldn't figure out what was offensive when I read it.
Graphic sexual language, profanity, unsuitable for its age group.
Clearly, the book banners have little idea what youth are living thru.
I dropped of some yarn and kitting needles I picked from a curb pile to a local thrift store. My purchase at the thrift store was 2 birthday cards for a grand total of $1.50. Then I put some knitting pattern magazines from the same curb pile into a little free library.
We are eating leftovers from Thanksgiving and other meals.
Spent time updating documents like. Monthly To Do list for occasional bills and task and my medical history summary.
Chatted with neighbors on a very mild afternoon.
Giving books primarily for Christmas and birthdays (we are in family birthday season). Not able to source them secondhand given requests but hey, they are books and I bought as many as possible through a local bookstore.
Hauled out our one medium size bin of Christmas decor. Move yourself 2 times in 6 years as seniors and you too will have less. No urge to buy more although I may make some paper snowflakes.
Have you ever shopped at Thriftbooks? They are pretty awesome, though I love that you are also supporting local businesses.
Yes I do like thrift books but like my local library and Little Free Libraries more. These are very specific unusual books or new releases that family members have requested.
My husband and I are gifting books to each other this year mainly because I want to. We've done no gifts or stocking for a few years and I just really miss anticipation. So we're providing a list of ideas to each other of books that aren't at our library and we will choose from them in used bookstores.
I told him about the tradition in Iceland of gifting books on Christmas Eve and reading together and he liked that. We are in the Midwest and will have plenty of wintry weather to hunker down with a fire and read.
JOLABOKAFLOD!!! We've been celebrating it for years. My mom is a retired librarian & I'm an ex-bookseller, so books are a big part of our lives. We give books for just about every gift giving occasion, but there's something special about the winter holidays. New pj's, fuzzy socks, hot cocoa & homemade cookies round out our evening with new books.
Katy, that sounds like a lovely way to spend a day. I cooked, baked, did paperwork and other things in my jammies (only changing out of them long enough to take the dog for a walk). I also started playing Christmas CDs, most of them thrifted.
We only buy Christmas (and birthday) presents for the littlest ones in our family - two great nephews in California and one great nephew and two great nieces here in Minnesota. For the boys in California, I order their gifts online for delivery. For the other three, we give their mom and dad enough cash at Christmastime to cover birthdays, too, that they can spend any way they want at any time of the year.
I wish my family would be more reasonable about gift - giving, but the super spenders rule the day, and they are seen as generous. Sigh. Spoils Christmas for me every year. I'm thinking about baked goods and cash this year.
Bonnie, I know what you mean about super spenders and their (mostly unwanted) Xmas gifts. (Which might have been regifted gifts.) I always thought it was handy that there was a Goodwill store and donation bin a few blocks from my old apartment. Because it made it convenient to toss all the bad gifts into the donation bin en route home from their holiday celebration, and be done with it. The crap never cross my threshold! (And yes it was crap: A purse made out of popsickle sticks with enough gaps between the sticks in it that any small item such as keys or coins would quickly fall out -- not to mention it was in the shape of a semi-circle so it rocked when you tried to set it on the table (where did she come up with such a stupid craft?!); a lunch kit for eating lunch on the road (never did this, as my employer comped any meals we ate out of the county); gaudy scarves, both nylon and knitted (I never wear them); and a crocheted vest that dragged the floor (it was supposed to cut off at the waist). Too bad TikTok wasn't around: I could have made some hilarious videos with the crap she gave me!
I have big spenders in my family too. I
Don’t like stuff and can’t reciprocate in
A major way. So… I gift small inexpensive or homemade items and
Usually take the extravagant unwanted things I receive to goodwill or give away. I feel exactly zero guilt, I have stated my wishes many times, if the givers don’t listen, that’s on them.
I would be the one in that family who got known for NOT buying extravagant gifts.I would use my baking skills to make a yummy item as gifts for everyone I want to have on MY gift list.. not EVERYONE who decides they need a present! You have agency. Tell them who you are!!! lol. I know you can do it.I’d love to receive home baked goods for Christmas vs. extravagant “stuff.” We got known as the “cheap “ family members years ago.In the days we exchanged with some family, we bought just for our 3 nephews, no grown ups.They always got a gift certificate to my favorite local indie bookstore.they could purchase books, CD’s or whatever. I ONLY Christmas shopped in that one store,all at once, one day out.Now, everyone is grown.No one exchanges. My husband son and I just by each other 2-3 small things so we have something to open on Xmas morning: My son loves the lollipops from See’s candy, cologne, and tickets to a local concert.My husband loves a certain brand of massage oil, and Trade Joe chocolate bars. I love receiving tickets to movie theater to use all year.Nothing extravagant!!
Such great and thoughtful gifts!
My Black Friday was similar. I spent a quiet day reading Persuasion and listening to my favorite podcasts and eating Thanksgiving leftovers.
I only exchange gifts with immediate family, and for the past few years I have chosen to give homemade and/or consumable gifts only. I don't have the momey to buy expensive things, and we all have plenty of stuff anyway.
I did make a not-so-frugal purchase today for Small Business Saturday, buying allergy friendly chocolates for my holiday treat. I'm happy to support one of the few companies making Christmas candy I can safely eat. Some of what I bought was on sale, though, and they threw in a free gift as well.
I think I've already posted about how all my young coworkers were AWOL on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and also on Black Friday. Today's shift was a bit better because OMG, they actually decided to show up! I told them that since I had to work solo last night, THEY could work the main register line, where you have to process returns and answer the phone as well as run the cash register. I got on the third register, where business is usually much slower; figured I earned it.
Katy, a lot of times I will go to the thrift store and buy holiday-themed coffee mugs. (Many of them were never used, just donated, and are thus in like-new cond.) You can fill them with hard candies or bags of tea or Hershey's kisses and give them as office gifts. They can also serve as white elephant gifts. Or, pour hot wax in them to make candles. A taper candle stuck to the center, or even a birthday candle, can make the wick. (Needs to be the same height or only a little taller than the height of the candle you're pouring.)
I went to a "Chinese exchange" party and one couple put their gift in a reusable holiday-themed shopping bag. I chose it just because of the bag, and I'm still taking the bag to Aldi. (Which my friend Barb says is rude since it's a bag from HEB. LOL.)
After Dec. 25, grab up any of those stretchable one-size-fits all gloves that'll be on sale, save them for next Xmas, and you've got your gift-giving solved. My friend Shirlene does this, and I'm always happy to get another set of gloves. When she gets gifts of scented candles, she saves them (she has asthma) and regifts them throughout the year.
My other suggestion for a maybe not-so white elephant gift is a multi pack of batteries. Everyone can use those!
Reading is always my #1 choice for a day, Katy, and when the book is good I gladly inhale it without a break... Well done to stay home from the Black Friday madness
1. After perusing the many chest freezers on sale for Black Friday, I revisited a Marketplace offering that I hadn't 'won', just in case. Turns out the other buyer was looking for a larger freezer, so I leapt into my truck and rushed over with $100 cash in hand. (on actual Black Friday, no less!)
The seller was a woman suffering the early stages of a dreadful divorce, so I was able to provide her with a willing ear as we woman-handled the freezer down her steep stairs and up into the truck. Glad I am weightlifting and working as a grief support worker at hospice, because all the muscles were put to use.
I need to do some moving around of things in the basement before the freezer comes inside, however #2 son and his girlfriend helped me get it moved to a (previously free picked) pallet at the basement stairs, and covered with a tarp. 90% of the way there!
I was looking at larger freezers, however I can buy two smaller ones on Marketplace for ¼ the cost of one new large one; the used ones that are large all seem to be worn out and un-pretty. I suspect that once I half-empty my own large freezer (and finally get it defrosted) I will just put something heavy on top to keep the lid more firmly closed, and perhaps might not even replace it – I'll fill it with a lot of re-used vinegar jugs of water for my emergency water stash and to keep the “cold sink” solid.
2. A soup I made with half a roasted squash, some potatoes, some homemade chicken broth, carrots, celery and a few et ceteras was made deliberately bland. I blended up one of the jars worth – adding quite a bit of water to thin it – and added a few teaspoons of curry powder. So yummy with a blob of yogurt and some pepper. The next jar will get the Mexican treatment – chili powder, cumin, and perhaps a few black beans once it is blended.
3. An unexpected need to return something left behind by grandbaby became a series of stops – dented vegetable store for sale items and discount rack, a prescription at an out of the way but less expensive pharmacy, and Canadian Tire for some cleaning supplies (and a new string of christmas lights for the barn, the ones that have been up for years gave up the ghost, and I run them all year round). It felt good to stack these errands and save both gas and time
4. I've been needing a hair product not available in my small town, and someone mentioned where I could get it when we were chatting in the hair aisle at a drugstore. I realized I could even purchase online, and decided to see if there was any advantage of doing so on Black Friday. Turns out I could save quite a bit, so I did take advantage of a Black Friday sale, but it was for something that I already was going to purchase. Free shipping too, which saved me needing to drive out of my way for over an hour each way.
5. My list of 26 things to do before 2026 has been a surprise hit in my ADHD brain. I have now received notice that my passport application was successful (they took the second questionable photo, yay!). I've picked up two loads of free firewood, finished my farm insurance application and paid, checked my will to ensure it mentions grandchildren (it does, and most elegantly), taken a screwdriver to the dryer lint filter and vacuumed out the space beneath, and picked up that new-to-me freezer. ALL of these were important and not urgent; having them done now feels fabulous.
Watching the “how long does it actually take” posts on instagram continue to inspire me.
I love "Canada Tire" as we call it in my family. So much so that when I say "Canadian Tire" it sounds wrong.
I went to work. I walked in my neighborhood. I paid a few bills which always puts me in the mood NOT to shop! My daughter is a no consumer and real drawing paper for the grandkids and that is what I sent them for Christmas! I have not bought the first present bc I usually pay a utility bill for the grown kids’ Christmas presents. I will probably give the step grandchild, who is older, cash.
I am happy this year that the only gifts I will buy will be for the grandchildren. They will be ordered online and sent to them. DH and I haven't bought gifts for each other for years. We're getting a new couch instead, and that will be quite pricey. I do feel a bit weird about not getting gifts for DD and DSIL but she suggested we not do it, and I do buy things for them throughout the year when I see something, or give them money here and there.
We went to lunch with some new friends to a place we'd never been before and had a lovely time. But, it was $56 CDN with tip for lunch for two (no alcohol), which is insane. It wasn't a particularly expensive restaurant, its just how much things cost lately. But, we're okay doing it occasionally, because we're frugal in other ways.
1. Went to 50% off at my favourite thrift and got two tops, pajama pants and a pair of jeans for me. I also got a couple of very good quality Hawaiian print shirts, that I will list on Marketplace. I think someone going on a cruise or to Hawaiian might like them. We'll see.
2. Sold the remaining two Christmas cushions on Marketplace.
3. Shopped an online auction and got a really nice print by an indigenous artist that I think will look great on our wall for a very reasonable price. Also a couple of other items I may keep or list on Marketplace, I haven't decided.
4. Every year I cashier at a friend's art sale. This year, DH has some woodworking in the sale. He has made several cutting boards, and a "kitchen helper" which is a wooden step stool thingee that is safe for toddlers to use at the kitchen counter, and also converts to a little table they can work at. He has made two others for family members and they are always well received.
DH & went for a long hike, as we prep for a hiking trip to New Zealand. It was a lot of fun, and honestly, the training & the planning has been such a great connection point for us.
We also ate Thanksgiving leftovers, and finished off the last of the pomegranate martinis. We watched a movie (at home) afterward. Both teens were working (they work at a restaurant.) DS18 worked every day except for Thanksgiving (the restaurant was closed) for the week he was home from college.
I did go shopping on Black Friday…to the
Grocery store for a regular shop. The store (and parking lot!) were pretty empty for a nice change. There were a few deals to be had and since it was Friday there was were 4X gas points.
The cashier said that it is the best day to shop for groceries. I have to agree.
Then I went home and read my book.
We decluttered and decorated on Black Friday. Then finished the day with a movie at home as a family. It was lovely.