Tony Wolk

 

Edit: I want to thank everyone for their condolences, I've read through each and every one of them.

You may have noticed that my blogging has been a bit sporadic lately and it's because my father has been very ill, especially over the past few months. He passed away over the weekend and we're all so tremendously sad. 

There's so much that I could say, but I don't have it in me to write up a post that could do him justice. 

Instead I'll leave this video from 2011 for you to get a glimpse of who I grew up with. 

I'll be back to regular blogging in time, but there'll be a few days here and there without new content.

Katy Wolk-Stanley 

181 Comments

    1. May his memorybe a blessing to you and all your family! There is a lot going on in your world these days. We completely understand that you won't be showing off your bruised veggies as much these days! Take the time to walk thoughtfully through these next days and weeks.

  1. My condolences to you and your family at this time. My dad passed in 1976 (I was 12), one of my sisters in 2007 (I was 43), and my mom in 2010 (I was 46). No matter how young or old you are, it isn't easy. I've thought about my dad more this year as I am now the age he was when he passed (61). The years go ny anf, even years later, something can occur that triggers a memory that can either make you feel good, or sad. With my dad, I didn't really experience the "bad" feelings until I got married and he wasn't there to walk me down the aisle. My sister that was married got married at the JP and our parents weren't even invited. Then, again, when I gave birth to my daughter - my parents' only biological grandchild.

    Fortunately, the good memories, the funny memories, outweigh the bad. Hold on to those. People say it gets better with time...it doesn't, at least in my experience.

    Take all the time you need to grieve...we'll still be here, patiently waiting, until you return.

    With deepest sympathy...

    1. Melissa N.,
      My dad passed away about a month after I got engaged; he was 67. My uncle was able to walk me down the aisle, and I'm grateful for that, though I missed my dad being there.

    2. Melissa,
      My mother passed away in 2019, I retired from my job to take care of my father. 18 months later, he passed in 2019. Seven months later, my only child, my daughter, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. 4 months after, she died in 2020. My VA doctor said that I had been flattened by grief .

  2. Dear Katy,
    What a beautiful video and man. Please take time to process the huge loss of your Dad. It will be an ongoing process, but especially at the beginning of the loss, you need to be gentle and kind to yourself. Much sympathy to you and your family.

  3. Katy,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I watched the video and your father was an amazing man.

    I am glad you had him in your life and sad for you.

  4. Prayers that your precious memories outnumber your moments of sorrow. What a gift your friends and family have in the video. You can still see him, hear his voice, and listen to his thoughts. Your father really is a legend, and passes on an incredíble legacy. God bless during this time of grief and healing. <3

    1. I remember awhile back you posted a picture of your dad & mom when they were young. You, as a child were in the picture. I remembered that picture when I saw your elder dad's picture on this post. Your dad passed along the gift of writing and education to you and your sister. He was a long-time educator & was devoted to his work. What a treasure!

  5. Thank you for sharing the video. Your Dad was amazing - gentle, funny, smart and kind. What beautiful gifts he shared with the world. Sending you and your family love and peace.

  6. Oh Katy, so sorry for you and your family. Your Dad sounds like a great guy.
    That video shows that he’ll be missed by many.

  7. Katy, I add my sympathy for you and your family to everyone else's. You've often mentioned over the years what a special man your father was, and I know what a hole his passing must have left in your life. May his memory be for a blessing, always. And take as much time away from the blog as you need to. We all understand, I'm sure.

  8. I am so sorry for your loss. I often wondered about what remarkable and wise parents you had that helped shape you into the remarkable and wise person you are. I watched the video and could see a glimpse of that. Thank you for sharing.

  9. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Thank you for sharing the video to give a glimpse of what a lovely man your father was. I love that he still kept the kiddie seat on the back of his bike and used it to hold his backpack! I can see where you get your cheery, frugal, make-it-work spirit. I hope you and your family find comfort in each other's company and love.

  10. Katy,

    I'm very sorry you lost your father. May memories of him carry you through the days forward. Praying for peace for you and your family.

  11. Katy and family,
    I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a great big hug.
    May his memory be a blessing to you all.

  12. May your father's memory be eternal! When you can, I know your words will be beautiful. In the meantime, I watched the video on your blog and the short glimpse did provide quite the view into your dad and his values.

  13. Oh Katy, I’m very sorry for this crushing loss. May you and your family lean on each other during this difficult time. Sending hugs through the blogosphere.

  14. Katy I am so sorry for your great loss. I've been rereading the blog and loved the one you wrote of your dad bike riding to work every day and his occasional comments on your posts. Much love to your family.

  15. I’m so sorry for the loss of your father. Losing a parent is so, so difficult, and I’m sending my deepest condolences. Thank you for sharing your father with us.

  16. Oh Katy!
    I am so sorry for your overwhelming loss.
    Grief ebbs and flows, it is the powerful price we pay for loving so strongly. Sending you a hug and please be gentle with yourself.

  17. Oh Katy,Wrapping you in so many virtual hugs during this time of loss and grieving. I am sending loving thoughts to your whole family during this rough time.

    Will love when you feel better enough to return .Your blog is a light in my days. Long time ago I had maybe 8 blogs I loved reading daily and they have all given it up,except for YOU AND KRISTEN!

    Bless you both for sharing.

    Sending you hugs and love.

  18. My condolences . Thank you for sharing the video. Being a lifelong learner and teacher is an amazing legacy. Hugs to you.

  19. My heart breaks for you and your family. This is my first time to comment but I felt a need to send my condolences. Take care of yourself. Hugs.

  20. Wow Katy, your dad seemed like such a cool guy. Love seeing that video snapshot where he talks about his career and his love for his work. I am sure his memory will indeed be a blessing to his family and to the countless others he inspired through his teaching over so many years. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love and comfort to you and your family during this difficult time!

  21. May your father's love for you and yours for him continue to shine in your family and friends. Peace be with you.

  22. The others have said it all. I just want to add my condolences. Losing a parent is deeply sad. My heart goes out to you.

  23. Sending warm thoughts, with hope that shared stories about him and inside jokes will bring that strange quiet joy which is possible during illness and death.

  24. I remember what a huge loss my parent's deaths were. Take all the time you need, we will always be here when you are ready to return. May his memory be a blessing. With much sympathy.

  25. I am so sorry for your loss. Will be praying for your comfort and strength. Thank you for sharing the video. What an amazing man.

  26. Katy, my condolences to you and your family on your father's passing. May happy memories of this special man sustain you as you mourn him.

  27. I'm so sorry Katy. I lost my Dad last year and am caring for my Mom and husband right now. It is so very hard to lose the people that we love the most.

  28. I'm so sorry to hear this. We're never old enough that it doesn't hurt to say goodbye to good parents. May your dad's memory be a blessing!!!

  29. So sorry for your loss. You were blessed to have a father who has made an impact on our world and continues to do so.

  30. My deepest condolences to your family at this difficult time. Praying for peace and comfort for all who love your father.

  31. Katy,
    Adding my deepest sympathies to everyone else's in the Commentariat. Losing a parent is so very difficult, but I'm glad your dad left behind a rich legacy of touching so many lives. That video shows what a kind, gentle and smart man he was - I love that he rode his bike back and forth to work for so many years! Sending hugs to you and your family.

  32. I am so very sorry! You always wrote so lovingly about him. What a loss to your family. My deepest condolences. May his memory be a blessing!

  33. Katy,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I watched the video. What a lovely man. I lost my father fourteen years ago. It's hard to believe but your heart will mend slowly over time. Sending you tons of love.

    Heather

  34. Katy, I am so sorry for your loss. May his memory be for a blessing.
    Sending you and your family love and all the good vibes.

    1. Just got a chance to watch the wonderful video. It must have been interesting growing up with a professor for a dad. And he may not have started in the PNW, but so Oregon now--bicycle, Birks, and reusable water bottle.

  35. I'm so sorry to hear of your father's passing. I do look forward to some memories down the line if you're comfortable sharing. Sounds like a cool guy! Thinking of you in your family's loss.

  36. I am sorry for your loss. My own experience showed me that it doesn't matter when you lose your parents (dad at 27, step dad at 31, and mom at 51) it makes you feel lost and alone. My sister said it was like we were orphans. The feeling is a singular thing.

  37. I am so very sorry for your loss. The death of a parent shakes you to your core, because ultimately it is a relationship that helps determine who you are whether the relationship was great or not so great. It is a relationship you have always had even though you didn’t choose it. And it’s especially tough when your relationship with your parent was strong.

    I hope that you find comfort during your grieving. Don’t worry about blogging. We’ll be here whenever you feel like coming back to it.

  38. Katy and family,
    My deepest condolences for your loss. Losing a parent is a deeply felt loss. Please be kind to yourself as you grieve.

  39. I'm so sorry. My condolences to you and your family. Losing a parent is so very hard. Thank you for sharing a bit of him with us.

  40. My thoughts are with you and yours. I know he was a baker and how you appreciated receiving the gift of his homemade bread. Thank you for sharing the video.

  41. I am thinking of you and your family from here in Australia. Your dad sounds like he was a really lovely man

  42. My sincere condolences, Katy. The video of your dad shows that he was a kind and gentle soul. May his memory be a blessing. We’ll be here when you get back. Take care of yourself.

  43. I’m so very sorry for your loss. My own father passed away a few years ago and I miss him so much. I’m very thankful for the memories , some that make me sad, but many more that make me smile. May your father’s memory be a blessing to you.

  44. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Your dad was one of the best English teachers I had. I remember him instilling the confidence in me that I could write. Before that even letters were a chore.

  45. Katy, I'm sorry to hear that your dad has passed away. I had him at PSU and enjoyed his class tremendously. May his memory be a blessing, and may he be inscribed in the Book of Life.

  46. Sympathy, support, and WHAT A WONDERFUL man is shown in this clip. Nice memory for you and High hopes his memory will always be a joy for you and your family.

  47. Condolences to you and your family. The hurt never goes away but lessens over time. Give yourself time to grieve, the clock is not ticking.

  48. My condolences for your loss. I have read your blog for many years and I remember you speaking of your father frequently. May your happy memories of your time with him continue to bring you smiles.

  49. Dear Katy,
    I always enjoyed hearing about your Dad. He seemed like such a special person,
    a rare person. Watching the short film, it's easy to see where some of your strength of character comes from.
    My Deepest Condolences to you and your family,
    Debi

  50. Sending you and your family a big hug, Katy. May his memory be a blessing.

    And I feel honored I got to meet him and shake his hand. <3

  51. Sending you and your family my deepest sympathies. May memories help you as you grieve along with love from family and friends. Shalom.

  52. Dear Katy,
    My sincerest condolences on your profound loss.
    The video is so moving! As a former college writing instructor, I really appreciated what your dad said about his diverse students and the impact he felt he was making.
    Peace,
    Beth Ann

  53. Oh Katy, I'm so sorry to hear this. He must have been so proud of you. I lost my father (about the same age) in February and it's been devastating. But I keep a picture on my desk of him striking a goofy pose and talk to him all the time. The love remains. May your father's memory be for a blessing.

  54. Katy so sorry to hear of your Father's passing.
    The video of your Father showed a man who seemed happy and content with his life. Take care.

  55. Oh, Katy, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. I watched the video and he seemed like such a cool guy. I love that he rode his bike to work for so many years, and especially that he had a “kid’s seat” on the back of it. I hope your kids, any maybe even you, have memories of riding on the back of that bike.

  56. @Katy, as so many others have shared, I am so sorry that you have lost your dad. You have been so kind to give us glimpses of him over the years, often just a mention that you were visiting them. May your memories bring you strength as you grieve.
    As a hospice 'grief companion', I have walked with a few folk during the first year after their loss. The process cannot be rushed, unless you choose to try to bury your feelings... not recommended. Staying present to those waves and the ebb and flow of sorrow seems to be the kindest thing you can do for yourself.

    And all of this is just blather, Katy - me trying to make it a bit better for you, while I am fully aware that, right now, it probably feels pretty awful.

  57. Ecoteri said it best.
    I do add that I thank God for blessing the world with your father which led to your father blessing us with you.

  58. Katy -
    There really isn't anything to say when we lose a parent. It's something I never could have prepared for, or had any idea how absolutely soul crushing it would feel. I miss my dad every day, and am grateful for the many ways he made my life what it is. I guess that for you, all I can say is I am happy you had such a wonderful dad. There is some comfort in that, but it is not helpful at the moment. Please know we all are sending whatever supportive and comforting vibes we can, as we all care very much about you.

  59. Katy- I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. I watched the video. He was clearly a man who absolutely loved his career! How wonderful for him. So often we muddle through and stay stuck in a job/career that we don't get personal satisfaction from, only because it pays the bills. I hope in time that your beautiful memories of him will outweigh the heavy grief you feel today.
    Be kind to yourself.
    Maura

  60. So, so sorry to hear the news. Hoping that you and your family find peace and good memories and wishing you strength through this time..

  61. Peace be with you and your family, Katy. I hope you can find comfort in the memories you have of your dad. Thank you for sharing the video. Take care of you right now.

  62. Katy, my condolences to you and your family. Thank you for sharing this video of your father. What an interesting and caring man.

  63. Oh Katy, I'm so sorry about your dad. I know how much he meant to you all. I have only just caught up with your posts, been canning the end of the carrots, potatoes and chickens! Our love to you all. Take your time!! Xx

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