I am going to take an extended leave from writing The Non-Consumer Advocate. I have enjoyed writing about frugality and sustainable living over the past two-and-a-half years, but today’s mean spirited and elitist comments kind of burst my balloon.
Katy Wolk-Stanley
“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”
{ 182 comments… read them below or add one }
It would really be a pity for a sincere person and great inspiration like you to stop blogging because of some comments. If comments are capable of changing your enthusiasm for blogging let me tell you that from all the way in Istanbul, Turkey, you are one of the few blogs I religiously follow and would be missing a lot in my life if you stopped (and could at any moment start to buy 2 pairs of expensive shoes a week to compensate). Of course there re misunderstandings, opposite views and judgements, that’s why we need you more.
I have just found your blog and really enjoyed reading it!!! I will miss you!!! Please come back soon & don’t listen to mean spirited people!! All the best to you during your break 🙂
aw, that sucks. i’m all for people taking breaks when they feel they need them (and you should)…but it stinks that it has to be because people were mean. i’m sorry, and i hope you’ll take whatever time you need…and then come back. 🙂
For two and a half years, Katy has written beautifully about achieving an abundant family life while being frugal. Her innovative ideas, sense of humor and — yes — compassion have consistently set her blog apart from zillions of others with similar themes bouncing around the Internet. Her enthusiastic welcome of different viewpoints has created a warm climate in which hundreds of readers have felt safe enough to offer glimpses into their personal and family lives.
But TODAY? I’m stunned by the ascending level of snottiness dished out by several respondents. I mean, like, what is this, like the middle school girls’ latrine?
Who are YOU to be so judgmental about what others put in their grocery carts? (I thought this had been settled dozens of blogs ago.)
What’s it to YOU what a stranger is spending on a wedding?
Boxed macaroni and cheese? Lard-laden beans? In KATY’S kitchen?
I am Katy’s mother, and I assure you that ain’t the case.
But if it were, so what?
Yahoo, Mamma! I want you in MY corner
You go, mom! You are one of the reasons that Katy is the wonderful person she is. Please give her a lot of support during this time and keep her busy with your rental properties. I am worried that she is just exhausted and needs to take care of herself better.
Sorry to hear that Katy, but you deserve a break and have thusfar kept up with blogging longer than I ever could. I hope we will see you back here after you realise how some petty comments shouldn’t stop you from what you do well. The internet brings out the worst in people sometimes.
I actually went back to that post just to read all the comments and see what had upset you. I guess you know the horrible comments obviously aren’t regular readers though, so no point in telling you that.
Anyway, enjoy your time off.
Take it if you need it for sure, Katy. Time for the holidays, tons of stuff going on – hey, why not?
I just wanna say a couple of things that for sure aren’t earth shattering but sometimes, on a bad day, someone has to say it:
Don’t give aholes power – EVER! They don’t know how to use it for good, they are, after all, aholes.
The internet is a wonderful place for haters to play their games…it doesn’t MEAN anything about you it is ALL about them!
I only read your blog – I find your work interesting, your outlook refreshing and your writing/story telling top notch! So I will, of course, miss your posts – but like Conan, when you come back and you will, you have too much important stuff to share – we, your audience, will be here.
Katy – seriously don’t stop blogging! I’ve seen reactions similar on other blogs where the readership has grown so much, a post has gone out and a similar thing has happened – and in one particular case (where there was a significant backlash) the blog just continued to get stronger and stronger. Honesty and authenticity is key and you are both of those things. Sometimes it needs a controversial post/reaction to cull the readership so that core readers/supporters stick with it and others move on – after all your blog is your opinion and we all have different ones. As Mark Twain said ‘It is the difference of opinion that makes horses race’. Stick with it Katy as I for one would miss you – I don’t always share your opinion (that would be impossible) but I do enjoy reading about it whether we are of like mind or not on that particular day… in fact your blog is one of the reasons I decided to start blogging… please don’t give up, this could be the making of the Non-Consumer Advocate – Jo x
First day reader… I came across your blog today and was appalled by the attacks from some of your readers. Is it the great deal of anonymity online that makes people feel “safe” enough to be just plain rude?
IMHO: Your post line about “beautiful people” was obviously NOT an attack on anyone’s physical looks. It was an obvious dramatic statement not intended to be rude or snide.
Even if that line, in a sense, stereotyped a certain type of shopper at that store, it’s no different to comparing shoppers at: FAO Swartz vs. Toys R US vs. the Dollar Tree Toy Section. Whether you admit it or not, an image of a certain type of shopper will appear in your head for each of those store and they will all be different for each store but at the same time, everyone’s would be similar…
Some store attract different shoppers. It’s a fact. She said it. Get over it.
Don’t stop blogging.
I hate to see you leave. I am sorry for the ugly comments you received yesterday. Know that you will be missed. Hope to see you again soon.
Dear Katy,
I am a first time commenter but am reading your blog for over one year now. I am sorry to hear you need a break and especially because you need it because of some dumb asses.
Please come back soon! You lift my spirits and brighten my days!
Yours truly
Kiki
(from Germany)
Take a break if you need it, but please don’t take today’s comments to heart. The impression I got was that a lot of people who disagreed with you and offered their own kind GOOP-style advice were not particularly familiar with your blog and its objectives. Which is disappointing, but only for them. Your true readers love you, Katy! Don’t be gone too long.
Katie,
You inspire and entertain us with your posts, but if you need a break take it. Then come back refreshed and ready to go, cause your blog is important to us!! Also you know your on to something when you both have people who agree with you and who vehimently oppose you!!
Jen
Hugs, Katy. I know what it’s like to be on the end of grocery criticism…as you know, that’s happened several times on my own blog, and it when it has, it’s bummed me out to the point where I’ve considered letting my blog go too. (I think that some readers seem to forget that bloggers are people with feelings.)
It’s just super discouraging, and if a blog is putting a black cloud over your life and stealing your joy, it doesn’t feel like it’s worth it. Fortunately for me, the joy-stealing black cloud is usually temporary and things go back to normal. I hope that a little break will do the same for you, because I will miss you terribly if you stop blogging!
Mwah!
Dear Katy,
Like Ozlem from Turkey I wanted to encourage you from afar, across the pond in the UK. Your blog is read by far more people than the ones who comment and we will all miss you and your encouragement in our own frugal journey. Enjoy the break and we look forward to hearing from you again !
Best wishes,
Fiona
I hope your break won’t last too long. You are on the very short list of blogs I read every day.
I don’t comment often and I don’t always agree with you (big shock I am sure 😉 but you bring alot to the table for me to think about.
Maybe you just need some R&R for a while, so rest up and get back to us when you can!
Nancy
I wish you lots of good energy and regeneration on your break. I too read the comments on that last post to understand you better and would probably have reacted the same way you did. I am sorry you have to deal with the hurt. I wish you lots of healing.
Katy, as a young 20- something I read your blog and Kristen’s daily and get a lot of inspiration from them both and I’m constantly talking to my co-workers and friends about the “frugal” blogs I read. They don’t always react how I think they will when I’m passionate about coupons or not buying things, or asking for time with each other, or charity donations instead of gifts. Yet, even when I face the skepticism face-to-face I still continue doing what I’m doing and sharing it with others in hopes that it will inspire them. It would be a shame if you let a few tyrannical people take that inspiration away from the rest of us.
Mean people suck. I haven’t been reading your blog that long, but you’re one of my favorites. Do I agree with everything you write about and everything you do? Not necessarily, but you’re clearly an awesome woman and blogger who doesn’t deserve nastiness from anyone. You obviously have quite a few readers who feel the same. Nothing but love!!!
I’ll be honest, when I read the title of this post, I was pretty sure it was a joke and you would say something in the article about why you want to give up, but aren’t. But after reading it, and the comments, I think you might be serious…which would suck frankly! You always seem so confident and voice your thoughts with such conviction. Everyone has an opinion, and they’ll never all be the same, but we all can state ours as we like (you and your readers accordingly). I greatly enjoy your blog (though rarely comment) and it’s one of a few I read. I understand if you need a break, who doesn’t on occasion?! But I just hope that it’s not just because of some controversy – because that you can surely overcome and handle that with grace as always. So if this is goodbye for a while, I’ll be sad – I’ll keep you on my favourites list and check in regularly as always, just in case you change your mind quickly!!
I hope you don’t stay gone too long. After reading this, I had to go back to the last post because I didn’t find it offensive at all and was totally surprised that you’d get flack for it. There will always be haters…even if you were only posting pictures of kittens and puppies every day, I’m sure the kitten-hating-brigade would find you out and share their vitriol with the rest of us.
I love your blog and will miss you during your break. I need all of the frugal encouragement I can get. My husband and I are both in grad school and I’m the only one working part-time. Aldi is our reality. *hugs*
and by “part-time,” I meant full-time. My husband is working part-time. I shoudl start proofreading my posts…
Oh Katy, I hope that you come back soon. I love reading your blog and it always cheers me up. You are entertaining and have given me insight into a different lifestyle. I find myself at the Target asking myself “would Katy buy this?” Take care of yourself.
Let me add my you-are-one-of-the-few-blogs-I-read. You are the best. The most down to earth. The most fun to read. I am sorry that you had to endure the comments. You are the best. You deserve a break, but selfishly, I hope for not too long. I shall miss your blog terribly. But yea for you for taking care of you!
I don’t think the majority of your readers have turned against you…..I haven’t…. but, I have noticed in recent years that so many people have agendas that drive their lives and they like to police the lives of others. As if they have have all the answers and the right way to do everything. Not true. Each of us needs to live our lives as we see fit for ourselves and our families, true to our own values.
You know who you are…don’t let a faction of the reader police shut you down.
Take a break for as long as you need, Katy. (It had occurred to me even before all heck broke loose yesterday that a few recent posts sounded stressed.) But PLEASE don’t give up the blog. Your fellow non-consumers the world over need you!
Katy,
I love your posts! Your blog is one of just a couple I regularly read. I understand the need for a break but hope you will continue to write more. Another blogger who had the same problem disabled the comment feature on her blog to avert the issue. Hey – it’s your blog, there’s no right of other people to comment! Just an idea.
Wishing you the best!
Hi Katy,
Take all the time you need to refresh yourself and re-evaluate whether you want to continue blogging. Every one needs a break sometimes.
That being said, I really hope you return to blogging someday! You have opened my eyes to how being frugal is not only mentally freeing, but also that it doesn’t mean you have to settle for a lower quality of life.
A million thank yous for sharing you life with us!
I so love reading your blog. I just went back to the post where you described a day in your life, and it gave me such a good feeling, to read about someone taking care of her family like that. I only hope any comments I made weren”t misconstrued as mean spirited. I can be a little thick at times. I only have admiration and respect for you and your blog. PLEASE don’t stay away long!!!!!!!!!!
Will miss your writing, but please care for yourself and your family first. Hope to see a new post soon. Thanks for all your encouraging words to those of us on the frugal journey!
I so enjoy your blog and you really encourage me to evaluate my purchases. I am a regular reader but rarely comment due to having little time available online.
I aspire to have my family eat as well as your family does and to purchase second hand as much as you do! You are one of two blogs that I am sure to check everyday. As far as the negative posters from yesterday, such judgmental people don’t deserve a place in your life! I would totally understand if you need a break but for selfish reasons hope you come back soon!
Katy, Your blog – information and ideas are always inspiring, even for someone with out a family….who used to consume and needlessly shop from the clearance rack at Target and TJ Maxx and now thinks about what i am doing, purchasing, and modeling behavior to others. It does trickle down and inspire change. Hope this is just a short vacation for you, and with all this time you will have you will miss helping and sharing your voice and come back (soon)! There are always gonna be ugly people in the world…who decide they have to pollute the world with their nastiness….and to test our patience. Breathe in the energy of those who you inspire and exhale the nasty comments. Wishing you and your family the best!
Hi Katy, I went and read all the comments from yesterday, and was dismayed at people’s “superiority complexes”, but not at all surprised, because people always think it’s ok to be meaner on the internet than they are in real life. So strange. I don’t know you, but I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of months. I don’t always do the things you do, but I do some, and I appreciate the sincerity of what you’re trying to do. Fully. I can understand your wanting to take a break, but if it’s something you love, why give it up because of naysayers? I recently read a post by Everett Bogue, http://www.farbeyondthestars.com/how-to-create-an-a-list-minimalist-blog/ where the one thing I remember is that if you want your blog to reach people, there will be comments, and not all nice ones, but we should embrace the discourse, even when it gets a little nuts. You can’t change everyone’s opinion, but you can change someone’s! (p.s., everyone who was offended was just being pricked a little too close to home, wink wink.)
Well put!! My sentiments exactly!!! 🙂
I want to chime in with everyone else here and say that I hope your break from blogging is a short one and that you’ll be back with us very soon!
I’ll miss you too! Best wishes and don’t let the turkeys get you down.
I am sorry to see you go. I do not commit very often, but I read every day. I will be checking back periodically and I hope to see you again soon!
Yesterday, you hit on something that I struggle with every day. I don’t have the answer yet, but I keep trying.
Thank you, I have enjoyed the last year.
If you are going to insist on voicing your opinions on your blog in your style, then I guess that’s the way it has to be. I mean, the fact that you won’t modify your blog to meet the pc vitriol of your readers is a clear indication to me that you’ve missed the point that your blog is all about ME. What? You mean it’s not? You mean that it’s your blog and you can do whatever you dang well choose and write whatever and however you want? OMG – and all along I thought you were my personal frugality coach that I paid to opine on the internet entirely consistent with my belief system! So, let me get this straight – you do this blogging stuff because you have a passion for it and want to share your ideas with the world but don’t get paid for it? Your honesty, humor and downright “real” opinions aren’t exclusively for my personal edification? You are entitled to your opinion and can express it freely and that doesn’t give me the right to tinkle in your offbrand Wheaties? Wow. Never thought of it that way. See – there you go challenging my thinking again. I’m going to go ponder this whole concept about playing nice in someone elses sandbox. And while you take your break, I just hope you can find it within yourself to finish trimming the bonsai and perhaps consider lard sculpting – I heard you had enough around your house. To the “haters”, go have yourself a nice saucer of milk – you’ll feel better – and heaven knows if you feel better, we feel better. Meow.
Even as I debate on hitting the submit button, I hope that you recognize this for the attempt at humor that it is intended to be and hope it elicits a smile in the midst of support and caring -minus the syrup. And to let you know that I am considering a spinoff of TNCA and calling it “Lard Lovers” – can I count on your readership?
Well said!
Katy,
I hope you can find the joy of blogging again. I really enjoy reading your blog and I hate the fact that comments are the reason you are taking a break.
Just remember, everyone has a tribe of people that fits them. These people are obviously not your tribe, so they don’t count.
Hello Katy,
I’m a long-time reader and first time commenter. Enjoy your break but do not get disheartened by the things people say. Most speak from ignorance and their own biases without regard to different perspectives. Having a blog opens you up to that type of criticism, however you are doing everyone a great service by continuing to write.
By your writings, you have triggered a reaction from all those critical bastards. Consider yourself a success for making people think in depth about something enough for them to comment on it. This incident will not die down in their brains; Somewhere down the line, they will think about what they wrote to you, why your post bothered them so much, and in turn they will realize something about themselves that they have never faced before. That moment may be a long time coming, but you have played a great part in it.
Your writing has affected people for the better, whether they know it or not, so you should be proud and keep on going!
Katy-
Like everyone else, I agree that you should get a break if you feel you need one, but PLEASE don’t let the negativity drive you away for good. You didn’t deserve to be attached that way and I’m sorry that some people feel better by attacking others.
I honestly thought you meant the happy, well-paid workers as the “beautiful people”, but however you meant it, it was not offensive to me. I enjoy your honestly and candor and I hope you’re feeling like posting again soon. Maybe start with just a 😛 (that’s a tongue sticking out in case I didn’t convey it well) face for all the haters!
Sending you a virtual hug & lots of positive energy to overcome the negative!
Katy,
I really hope you don’t stay away too long. Remember that the comments are just a small portion of your readership. We’d miss you.
Katy, speaking as one of the *beautiful people* ( ;-P), take a lovely, long relaxing break, and then do please come back to us. I wear my yoga clothes and drive my hybrid vehicle to go shopping at Whole Foods, and I was not insulted by your comment. I love your blog, and in the bizarre internet way, I love you too. You are a role model to me.
Take care of yourself and enjoy a hiatus. Heck, enjoy the holiday season and come back to a fresh New Year. I’ll be waiting hopefully.
A writer does need to develop a thick skin if they feel that what they write is important and needs to be read and discussed. I’ve been in writing critique groups and have gotten much worse criticism than the comments I read from your blog yesterday–and it still hurts. Even if you write fiction, it’s still very personal.
No matter what you write, there will always be critics with comments you think are way off base. Sometimes they make you wonder if they even read what you wrote! I think that people get an image or idea in their minds when they read something, and it may be very different from what you intended. You can’t prevent people from misreading or misinterpretating what you write, no matter how carefully you write.
Katy, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for over a year and it really makes me mad that some people can’t leave a comment without being so hateful and pretentious. You have inspired, entertained & encouraged me and I do appreciate it. Thank you. I’ll look forward to reading your thoughts again if/when you decide to return.
Katy, please don’t stay away long! You’re an inspiration to me and so many readers. I think Sandy, two comments above, said it best.
Katy, I hope you do get a break. Blogging all the time would be crazy-making I think, especially exposing yourself to all the comments on your life. It is so personal. I’m sorry for the mean comments, that really stinks. I read your blog every time I’m on the computer (every 2nd day or so), and it is easy because you don’t post every day. You have been very inspiring to me personally, although I have only commented once or twice maybe. As a fellow Portlander (sp?) I totally get the elitism. Hey, if you have the choice to spend all your money on food, awesome! Go for it! But the reality is there is a growing poverty in this world, not just in unemployment, lack of health care, *true* sustainable housing (like being affordable for families!!!) etc. etc. but in these horrible judgements. That is a poverty not only to those you judge but to yourselves. It would be awesome to put all that energy towards fighting for the right for EVERYONE to eat healthy, whole foods. It should NEVER be just for those that can afford it. I am lucky to be part of a wonderful co-op that helps me feed my family healthy food, otherwise I couldn’t afford it. For me, it is a choice, for others, it just isn’t. Money stands in the way for some, for others it isn’t even on their radar. Not my issue-so why waste energy on it? There are so many things in this world & your local community that could use good energy. Go for it!
i missed whatever went down yesterday. but i would just like to say this —
🙁
i like/love your blog and read it all the time. i don’t have time to comment or even read the comments most of the time, so i guess that makes me a silent supporter. i apologize that my love for your work has been so passive, that i have been absorbing all your efforts without giving back. i really appreciate all the work you put into it.
Hello Katy,
You should certainly take a break if you need one but please know that there are a lot of people out there that read and appreciate your blog.
Thanks for all that you do to inspire other people to use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without! Please don’t stay away long.
Katy,
I’ve been reading your blog for about 18 months and it has been a huge influence in my life. You are the person who convinced me to line dry my clothes!
I’m so sorry you had such a terrible experience. Clearly, these are not long-time readers otherwise they would know your views and that you DON’T feed your family lard and that you prefer to cook from scratch and with whole foods.
I’ll miss you while you are on your break! I hope you come back because there will definitely be a void in my (and so many others) blogging life.
All the best,
Elizabeth
You will be very missed. While I didn’t agree with your post, I know that everyone has a right to their own opinions and choices. I think it is very unfair the way that people reacted. I hope to see you blogging again soon.
I’ll miss you – your blog and CakeWrecks are the only blogs I read daily. If you’re going to take a long break, can we send your our email addresses so you can let us know when/if you’re back online?
Katy – from the one who caused the “judging others food choices” fracas a while back, I certainly hope your break is a short one. Your commentary and writing has been exceptional and I, for one, learned a lesson is commentary myself when my prior entry caused – oh, maybe 87 comments…mostly negative. Yikes! Anyway, I hope a short break will lessen the sting and you return renewed and full of ideas on how to live in a “nonconsumerish” way. On the other hand, the controversial nature (although I agree, some was mean spirited) of the comments does make one think about the choices we make in our lives. Please take some solace that you were making people think and care enough to write…even if impolite. Take care, Katy!
Katy,
I haven’t been reading your blog very long, but I do read it everyday because yours is a voice of sanity and humor. Please come back soon.
Katy,
I’m really sorry to see you go. I’ve been reading you for a while now, and although I haven’t commented, I think your blog is awesome.
Please don’t give the nasty commenters the power they crave. Doing so enables their snarkiness and says, “well, yeah, your tactics work. congrats. go ruin the next person’s day.”
You clearly have a strong readership of people who care about what you have to say enough to put it out here on this post.
Regular reader, don’t think I’ve commented before.
Sorry you need to take a break, but do what you need to do.
I have enjoyed reading your blog, and find it inspirational as I struggle with consumerism. It is hard to write well about not shopping, especially over the long term — there aren’t a lot of blogs that pull it off. Your blog is interesting, engaging, and relevant.
Wow! I’m stunned by this. I love your content but don’t always follow the discussions so I had no clue that things had become so uncivil. I am so sorry for your distress. While I don’t buy what you buy and I don’t save in the same areas that you do I totally respect your choices and appreciate your honesty in sharing them with us.
I hope you choose to come back to us but I understand that it’s hard to rise above and keep on keeping on when meanness or high and mightiness abounds. As I tell my kids when they’re stressed – Breathe. Nice and slow. And enjoy your family. We’ll all miss you.
Katy, the first thing I do every morning is look at your blog and at the Frugal Girl. As a person who has undergone earthquake-type changes in her life in the past few years, both financial and personal, I really appreciate not just your good advice. Let’s make a list:
-You keep trying. Even when (from my perspective) your life seems pretty jammed, and I know you have teenagers, so all is not roses, you still manage to create an cheery, optimistic blog piece every time you post.
-You keep trying. You seem to me to be the kind of person who doesn’t let setbacks keep you from trying a different tack.
-You are a great writer. Funny and perceptive.
-You have a big, generous heart and are accepting of all kinds of perspectives.
-Did I mention you are a great writer and you keep trying?
Now let’s look at the people who commented. I picture some of them sitting in their robes and pajamas, as I am now, feeling a little sleepy and maybe a little grumpy. Something hits them the wrong way. They get caught up in an idea, don’t stop to think and then fire off a comment. Some of them, not mentioning names, might even be a little smug. I surely understand smug, have been there many times in my life and have been at least rueful and sometimes even ashamed afterward. But sometimes it takes years of perspective to get a person to understand her own smugness. I can say (and let’s face it, say it smugly) that there are things I did 30 years ago, believing that I was rock solid right, that I have just begun to examine from a different perspective.
I’m feeling a little sorry for Jacquelyn, commenter # 2, who mostly agreed with you, clearly appreciates your work, but in her last paragraph was the first to quibble with the “beautiful people†remark, inadvertently setting off the firestorm. She must feel terrible today.
I think some of you all might reconsider and send an apology. Just a simple “I’m truly sorry”, no long explanations of what you “really” meant.
Finally, there were some really great comments yesterday, from people who really love your work, Katy. And I think the number of comments today will far surpass yesterdays. Many people love you through your writing.
One more thing that I really appreciate about you is that you spell your name correctly. (Just kidding, all you Katies and Caities out there!)
I hope your day today is better. I’ll be good-vibing you! And I hope you come back – I’ll keep checking in.
Many e-hugs to you!
Hi. Jacquelyn here.
I went back and re-read what I posted yesterday and I’m not seeing where I am to blame for setting off a firestorm? I can’t control what people comment on, and who knows if they read my comment before deciding to comment for themselves. I know a lot of people referenced the remark but agreed with it or weren’t bothered by it. Some people thought it was snarky. I just thought it was unnecessary and not in line with the rest of the post which I said I agreed with. I also thought that within the context on her sentence, Katy made it seem like prioritizing financial stability and frugality cannot exist when one shops at the designer grocery stores. It isn’t an either/or kind of thing- like I said yesterday, my family’s financial stability is a very high priority especially because we work within a very low budget- yet I find a way to shop at NS because ethically it is the right choice for our lifestyle and we can work it in our budget.
to be clear: I found offense in the idea that shopping at NS or WF is for the social status- it’s not, at least not for me, I can’t speak on behalf of anyone else. I also found offense in the idea that I have to choose ethics OR frugality- that is simply not true and I was hoping that was what my comment was reflecting. Maybe that was not what Katy intended by her original statement but that is what her sentence implies and I was reacting to that. I stand behind everything I said and since Katy asked for our comments, I gave mine. I’m not sure about other commenters and whether they were out of line or not, but I can’t believe that my diplomatic comment was picked out here today to blame for other people’s meanness.
-Jacquelyn
Katy – I read your first post yesterday – and thought it was right on the money. Unfortunately, I got busy with work (!) and did not get to read the comments or get back to your blog until this morning. I believe some of the later commenters were correct – your statement hit a sore spot and people spouted off trying to defend themselves. (Hope I didn’t just start another firestorm!) I understand the need for a break – but I will be checking frequently to see if you are back! Your blog is a must read – usually Frugal Girl first then you then a couple of other must-reads. The rest?? Meh – if I have time. Relax a little bit and know you will be missed!
Katy,
Read the article that Sarah linked in her comments—it’s brilliant. Rule #3 may apply here—challenge and be challenged.
I follow your blog to challenge me. To challenge my patterns of consumption. I buy less. I challenge all disposable, one-time use purchases. I shop Whole Foods and I always select organic if there’s a choice—that’s the right choice for me (and I’m fortunate to have the financial means to make that choice). I consider your ideas and see if they fit for me.
I’d like to challenge you to demonstrate your passion by continuing to blog. Continue to challenge us—not to do as you do—but to consider how we might live more frugally and to put into practice all or part of your ideas.
I will say that I think yesterday’s comment about “beautiful people” was a mistake. The topic of the post was excellent…it didn’t even need that sentence. So what? We all make mistakes. If your son makes a mistake on the soccer field, do you expect him to quit? Or do you expect him to learn from his mistake and keep playing?
Keep playing!
I jumped in the queue of comments early on, but how I wish I had read them all before posting anything. I was so surprised at the turn of the comments ending in an excellent blogger wanting to call it quits. It has taken me too long to educate myself about the ethics/economics of buying organic foods, shopping at certain stores, and I certainly have SO MUCH MORE to learn. Katy of Non-Consumer is ahead of the curve, FAR ahead of me, and I thank you, Katy, for sharing your knowledge and hope you soon find it rewarding to return to blogging.
I have only read your blog for a short period of time (found you from the frugal girl,)
Some people just love to stir up problems, it just there nature. Maybe they have something they are not happy with in their lifes, so they took stabs at your blog.
Don’t give into them, don’t let them win. Show them that you are the bigger person. Your comment was how you feel/felt, and that is alright, because everyone is intitled to opinion.
I hope your time off is short, as I enjoy reading your blog everyday.
(and I have to wait because you are on the west coast, and I am on the east coast!)
Wishing you a great day! dont let a few butt heads ruin your day!!!
Sending good wishes and good thoughts your way. You will be very much missed. I hope you do come back some day.
I’ll miss your blog terribly and eagerly wait for your return.
When I read the first sentence, I was hoping you were going on a vacation, I was sad to realize that due to people’s lack of courtesy and respect for others opinion and lifestyle, they had forced you to walk away from something people enjoy. I enjoy reading your blog, and have been reading it for quite some time now. (well over a year.) It’s unfortunate that the thoughts of a few people can alter your life.
I hope you come back soon. If you don’t (due to the overwhelming lack of respect from others), know that your blog will be missed. In the words of the band Argent “if they shout, don’t let it change a thing that you’re doing. Hold your head up.”
I’m gonna miss you! Lots!
I love your voice and writing style. I wish you were one of my real-life neighbors! You’ve won my respect 90 times over, as I’ve read your blog over the past year or so.
Even though I love local foods and farms, I was unnerved by the elitism and arrogance of some of the comments. Have you heard the term “foochebags?” Unfortunately, it applies here… http://www.nbcnewyork.com/feast/Vocabulary-Lesson-Foochebag-101665608.html
Lucy
Please don’t go! Easy for me to say, because I would have cried had all those comments been directed at me. You are inspiring, and I follow you and The Frugal Girl daily. Take a break if you need it… Understandable… But please come back!
Katy – Please take the break you need, but PLEASE come back. I’m in my mid 60’s and while much of what you blog about is ‘old’ news to me – it’s the comments and outlook that keep it fresh. Those making comments that are negative need to understand your whole life – what’s in your blog is your opinion and not directed at a person individually.
For those who feel they are above shopping or buying anything less than organic, local, etc – get over it. It’s not always available, it’s surely not always affordable and not everyone wants it. We all do the best we can and any info from others should be read, disgested and incorporated if it is applicable to our own lives.
Katy,
I really enjoy your blog, even though I do not always share the green/environmental values that many of your readers do. I don’t believe recycling is a life or death issue, and I think eating exclusively “organic” food denies the risk of famine that would come if we gave up the gains of modern agriculture.
But I enjoy what you share about your life, frugality, cleverness and desire to focus on people/family/life rather than work full time.
If someone such as myself, who has different values than many of your readers, enjoys your blog, how much more so do the vast numbers who do share more of your values?
I sincerely hope that after a break you will continue to entertain us with your frugal finds and ways that you are able to live the life you choose.
Laura
Please keep blogging-we need blogs like yours that are fresh and funny, insightful and interesting! I am always encouraged after reading your posts :). A favorite quote to reflect on “First they ignore you, then they fight you, then you win” -Ghandi
Katy – I repeat – Please do not stop blogging! The amount of comments (whether negative or positive) you have had over the last two days is fantastic (you may not see that now)… You have identified your ‘tribe’ – there are those that do share all your opinion and those that don’t but still follow the blog – it is the others that may now move on and that’s okay! You have identified your community. ‘Stickability is 95% of ability’ David J Schwartz in ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’ – I can’t wait till the day I have the amount of interaction on my blog as you have had – whether that be good or bad – at least someone is reading! Much love x
Come back soon! I’m sorry that you’ve felt attacked. It’s very brave to put your life out in public as you do, and while you have to expect some feedback, it’s clearly not always a nice experience. I disagree with you sometimes but tend to make it fodder for the dinner table discussion.
I admire you for putting it out there. You are braver than I. I enjoy your posts, and hope that you return to writing soon.
Wow…you just never know what will set off a firestorm, do you? I’ll offer a piece of advice from here in small-town Alaska, where every year we say “It’s just February.” Inevitably some issue comes up that time of year when it’s been cold and dark for months and we’ve all been cooped up here together way too long, and suddenly everyone is flaming their neighbors and snubbing folks who don’t agree with them about raising sales tax, or cutting the library hours or whatever the issue of the year is, and the whole town starts acting like a horse’s patoot.
Suddenly this same phenomenon seems to be hitting several blogs I read at the same time….maybe it’s the approach of the holidays, the days getting short, the recent elections, who knows? But there’s lots of
sniping and nasty comments and so I offer: “It’s just November.” I’m sure it’s hard not to take it personally, but try! Enjoy your break, and come back soon, please!
Great comment, Jenny.
Katy,
I don’t blame you for need a break. I agree that a lot of those comments were nasty and snarky. You probably feel like you’ve just gone several rounds with the heavyweight champ of the world.
However, I hope you don’t retire completely from your wonderful blog. I just started reading “green” blogs, and have been getting so many great ideas from you! I’ve always been “kinda” green, and I am working to become a lot more green. I believe in sustainability and living closer to the earth.
Take some time off, but please PLEASE come back. You *are* making a difference!
Elaine
I miss you already!!! Enjoy your break….just don’t forget to come back to those of us who love you.
Katy, I have SO enjoyed reading your blog every morning since I first came upon it a few months ago. It has EASILY been my favorite in the crowd, simply because you are so down to earth, creative, and centered.
I will be quite sad if you go, but also totally understand and respect the need for a break! I just want you to know that your thoughts and willingness to share have been TRULY VALUED and APPRECIATED.
Jen
Screw them. There are plenty of people who believe in what you write, and who have enough sense of YOU to know what you mean by “beautiful people” or anything else. I totally got it. I’m still quite perplexed by the other blogger who claims to read yours and yet doesn’t get you at all. But you know what…WhatEVER. Ignore it.
Take a break if you want, but please don’t leave for long. I love reading your blog, even if it’s just to see what I “should” be doing, but cannot seem to manage 🙂
Please don’t go for too long! I just recently discovered your blog and it’s great!
Oh no! Your blog is the first thing I read every morning! It helps me feel less alone. You can’t let the bullies win. My mom always said, “Make like a duck.” Let it roll right off your back! 🙂 Take care. We’ll be thinking of you!
Stunning in how many different contexts I have met people who find it profoundly challenging to respect other people’s ability to make good choices for themselves, different though they be. I love your blog. I will miss you while your heart recovers.
Katy,
You are already doing so much, and have inspired many to do better in their own lives. Each person has their own way of contributing. While your greatest contributions come from the non-consumer standpoint, perhaps others invest their energy and resources more towards other things.
I know that it is so easy to get discouraged following the “green” or “non-consumer” paths because I have become discouraged many times myself. It is so easy to tend towards wanting to achieve 100% success that if we don’t measure up to our own tough standards we feel like we are letting ourselves or others down. No one should be putting anyone down for what grocery store they happen to prefer to shop at, period. This goes both ways (even though I think that your ‘beautiful people’ comment was blown out of proportion in how it was received by some readers, that seems easy to happen in print.)
We have come so far so fast in the green movement etc. that it is easy to put extremely tough standards on ourselves as well as on everyone else. I heartily wish however, that people would resist the urge to call other people out on the times when they think they could be doing more. Instead we should be applauding people for the efforts that they have made. It all comes down to praise versus guilt/shame/punishment. I know that at least in my humble opinion, I would much rather praise your for your extreme efforts thus far than try and shame you for any further things that you could possibly be doing.
We are all human, and we are all working under constraints. Criticizing people who are making hearty efforts for “what they could be doing better” seems counterproductive in the extreme and kind of mean at the same time.
Kindly,
A from BloomAgain
Regular reader, never commented before.
Please don’t take mean-spirited comments to heart. I read your blog regularly, and thoroughly enjoy your perspectives. I sometimes see things that I disagree with, but I appreciate reading them– it makes me question my own assumptions and reevaluate whether or not they are correct.
If you need to, take a page out of GRS’s book and delete mean comments (http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2010/11/06/grs-comment-policy/). This is your site. And if your policy is that mean-spirited comments will be deleted, then so be it.
The rest of us will just strive for excessive politeness.
Wishing you a much improved day and looking forward to your next blog post (whenever you’re ready to give it),
Sarah
I have great respect for your belief system and your willingness to write so openly about it. I seem to often have your jingle in my head when I am thinking of purchases! I think too few people spend as much time thinking about the power of their purchasing/non-purchasing as you do and I thank you for making me think about it as much as I have. I hope you take the time and space you need and come back soon. I took a chance and joined the discussion for the first time yesterday and would love to be able to engage some more as I like what you have to say. I’m sorry it went so icky on you.
Noooooooooo I’ve been reading your blog sanz comments since the beginning. I don’t know what the comments were about, but please know I’ve read your blog everyday for the past two years. I really enjoy it. I will really miss it
I am a long time reader, but I rarely comment. I am a busy new mom, and if I only have time to read one blog in the morning, yours is it. Please come back soon!
Katy- I get it. And I’m sending you good thoughts from over here in NE PDX. I hope taking time off will prove beneficial and inspirational. That said, yours is the only blog I actually make time to read, and you always give your readers something to think about. I’m looking forward to your comeback. Take care.
Hi Katy, I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling demoralized about the blog. I’ve enjoyed reading and hearing about your approach to life.
Thanks
Katy,
I have been reading your blog for a year now, although I’ve only commented once. I read you and The Frugal Girl everyday. I search for blogs on frugality to counteract the consumer culture that I’m surrounded by. I always appreciate and enjoy everything you have to offer. I must admit, I don’t always read comments…especially when they start to take a negative tone…I’m so sorry about what happened yesterday. I just want you to know that you will be missed while you are taking a break….I hope you’ll be back. You clearly make a positive impact everyday with your blog.
As someone who herself has been subject of online attacks, I know you are hurting and feeling the sting right now. I hope you will find the peace you need in YOUR TRUTH – you help a lot of people to think and be inspired; you are human and capable of mistakes just like the rest of us; you are human and have feelings and are not worthy of being attacked for your opinions, and please realize that what some people might say rudely on a website are made with a sense of annonymity and power that comes from being online – I think there are very few people who would be so rude in person.
I will miss you and hope you will consider returning when you find your strength and center again.
P.S. – I started reading your blog early this year. I have $20,000 in medical bills this calendar year I needed to pay for as they happen. You gave me the switch in attitude to earn an extra $10,000 more than I expeceted – and save, by NOT spending – another $4-5000, so I am 3/4 of the way there. THANK YOU.
I recently found your blog through the Frugal Girl and have really enjoyed reading your posts. I think you have a great writing voice and find what you write to be very entertaining, and sometimes thought-provoking.
I just wanted to lend my voice of support to the others here. I would want a break, too, if those comments and that much misunderstanding had been directed at me. For the record, I read the post linked in the comments of your previous post, and while it was a decent read and I agreed with some of what she said, I really don’t see why she directed it at you, as if you needed a lesson. How frustrating!
Hope you feel up to returning soon!
Jumping in to say I read you and frugal girl every day. Except for lately because I have been taking a break from the internet a few days at a time. Its got tiring for some reason so I’ve been going a couple of days or so between visits.
I live a very different life than you but still find inspiration in your post. Years ago I learned to be more open of others ways because of the internet and reading about how other people live. I think we get into thinking everyone is like us(or should be) because we usually see like minded people in our everyday life. The good I find in the net is the different lifestyles and ideas freely shared.
I really just wanted to let you know that you have been kind in sharing your ideas with us. Also I find it nice that you have been giving away books and such. I never comment on those post because I try to limit what comes into my home, even for free. Thanks for all the time and effort that you put into the blog.
Oh and I read the Happiness Project after you talked about it. Great book and very inspiring.
Katy – please don’t let those comments demoralize you! Your blog is such an inspiration to so many of us! Make the most of your break, regain your spirits and come back in full force! Will miss you in the meantime!
I haven’t been reading your blog for very long (a month or so) but it has become a daily read for me so I’m sad to see that these people’s mean attitudes got in the way of politeness and decency.
Anyway, I agreed with you. I don’t have any fancy stores where I live but Eugene and Seattle ,where I have spent some time, are filled with them and these people on their high horses because they only buy the best. It’s not for health, it’s not for the local economy, it’s for status.
Take a break, you deserve it, but come back and keep telling the world about your experiences and being brutally honest about frugality (my husband calls me a “cheap-ologist :]).
I will say that I didn’t think the comments were elitist and mean-spirited, but rather written with the same intensity as the topic. The beautiful-people comment struck a nerve with me just because it could have been said, “those who are willing to pay $5 for an avocado” like a different commenter said. We ALL want to be beautiful people… because the binary is ugly. And who will put their hand up and say they’re an ugly person??
I found myself upset with a few comments, just because they hit close to home and a lot of assumptions were made to make the point. I’m cooling off myself and reminding myself that only I can speak my voice and opinion. And these two things are different from other people.
But all writers, bloggers, authors, and creative persons alike need to take a break. Sometimes it helps them cool off and reaffirm/change their view on life. Hopefully you you realize we need a lot more bloggers like you in the world… ones who will speak their mind. You are a good influence on us folk.
Just want you to know that I look forward to reading your blog. You inspire me to be a better consumer AND a better person. I enjoy your humor. I will truly miss your blog – take a break and take care of yourself!
Best wishes!
Katy!
I found you way back when I was still checking the Yahoo Compact group. I’ve been following you for a while (2 years, more maybe?).
I actually shouted outloud when I read this post. I understand if you need a break, but come back to us soon!
I just wanted to give you a little love from one of your loyal readers. As many others have said, you write about your topic so well that it has truly kept me motivated on my own path to buying nothing new.
Remember, haters be hatin!
So disappointed to see that you will be taking a break because some people have a narrow vision. I so enjoy your blog and read it religiously every day. I hope that you will be back soon sharing your thoughts and insights. You certainly have helped me during a difficult time while my husband has been out of work and I can only find a part-time job. Love you and love your blog…come back soon…like tomorrow???
Hey Katy, your humor, good sense, and obvious enjoyment of life make you my favorite blogger. I take a lot of inspiration from your zest for incorporating frugal and sustainable values into your everyday life. I’ll keep you in my feed reader and hope to see you again soon!
Katie
p.s. I would watch you buy Tillamook cheese on t.v. Maybe they can put you on before Glee?
I’m very sorry to hear that you’re taking a break. Hopefully, a bit of away-time will be very beneficial. We’ll be here, when and if you decide to blog again. Hugs,
I know it’s been said by these previous commenters, but I’ll miss you during your break. I think it stinks that the people who have nasty things to say seem to say them the loudest. I hope you know you have a lot of people (even ones like me who may not comment often), that truly appreciate the writing you’ve done. Heartfelt thanks for all you do from Wisconsin.
I’m a first-time commenter but I read your blog almost daily. I didn’t view the comments as an attack on you, perhaps I’m wrong. I hope you come back soon as your blog is my favorite
Katy, I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time now, and have commented a couple of times. I have learned so much from you, and as someone else said, the quote at the end of your posts often runs though my head at opportune moments. Of the 50+ blogs in my feed reader, YOURS is my favorite, hands-down! I hope that after a little break you’ll be back, because MANY people will miss you. Take care!
I so love your blog……I can’t believe how many things you do, that I do! Our thinking is sooo similar it’s almost scarry!! I truly look forward to reading your posts….does my heart good! It’s easy to say, but try not to let the negative comments dishearten you…you do too much for too many people!
wow, what alot of love letters you are getting today. I hope you are reading them and taking in the love and enjoying hearing the influence you have had on so many of us.
I will be sad if you decide not to return and I appreciate how much you’ve given us. AND I think people get to stop what they’re doing if they need to, without guilt. I wish you peace and lots of good food while you mull all of this over.
Thank you for all your work so far!
Katy, don’t go! I love your blog!
i am so sad! i just found you! i won’t go read what was said, if it is even there. i have no desire to read meanness — there is so much of it around us without me going to look for it. i guess i would implore you the same as i would with my students — please don’t let someone else control your destiny.
thank you,
kim
I will miss your blog terribly and hope to see you back again soon. You definitely have helped me with some of my thinking and for that I am extremely grateful. Take care and I hope to “see” you back again soon!
I have always appreciated your blog and found it very thought provoking. While I could never live exactly the way you do, your lifestyle has inspired me to do and be better. I am so sorry that the comments have discouraged you and I hope that you will be back soon!
Please don’t quit. At least, not forever. I have subscriptions to dozens of blogs, but yours is one of the very few I make time to read every day for the perspective and inspiration you provide in our consumption-crazy world.
Katy, I’m sorry to see that you’ll be taking a break from your blog. I read you regularly, and have really enjoyed your point of view as well as your sense of humor. Best wishes to you.
Enjoy your break. It’s sometimes good to take some time away from something.
Your blog is loaded into my Google Reader and I’m ready to read when (if) you come back.
Take a break and regroup, but please, please come back soon. I’ve been reading for a year or so, and gained a lot of good ideas and inspiration from your blog. I’ll miss hearing from you while you’re gone.
What? But I read your thoughts and feel so validated in my non-consumer efforts here in my own home. I dont’ know the rude comments but please don’t take them in to your heart. An overcaffeinated, tired person can often say some rude things they normally wouldn’t. The rudeness was just that moment in time for them. They’re past it, only now it sits and churns in your mind. Try to get past it too, b/c you are so fabulous.
Dear Katy,
If you need a break then do take one but please don’t do it because of someone’s mean comments. You’ll never be able to please everyone and if they don’t want to read what you have to say they are welcome to go elsewhere. Some of us like to read your blog and even if we don’t agree with everything we respect differing opinons. I’ve been reading your blog and Frugal Girl’s for over a year now and enjoy them so much (but have always been worried that some cruel person might ruin things). Please don’t listen to them, listen to those of us who do enjoy your blog. P.S. I’ve never posted before so thanks from dragging me away from lurker status!
Dont forget that people can lose their manners and hide behind a keyboard online. Others find the courage to speak where they might not in person. And there will always be people who feel they are doing a better job at being “green” than someone else. Who cares????? I read your blog for its inspiration and witty banter. It is a highlight to my day to see the post in my inbox. 🙂
Katy,
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been getting nasty comments. I don’t think it’s very fair. I always love what you have to say. It shouldn’t matter if people don’t agree, it’s your life – and your blog!
Enjoy your break, but please come back. I’ve been reading since the very beginning. I think your tea towel salad dressing post was one of the first. You have inspired my life – even yesterday, my birthday, I received three (!) second hand gifts because people know I like it like that.
Take care.
You are one of my favorite blogs. I am so sorry to hear you are getting nasty comments. I hope you come back soon!!!!
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had to endure some unkind remarks. I don’t often comment, so I just want to be sure to side with your supporters. I understand the need for a break, burt I hope you’ll be back. You have been an inspiration to me.
Sorry to hear that a break is needed. Really enjoy your perspective and wish you the best! Hope that you will be back.
Katy…
One Hundred and Twenty One comments from folks who don’t want you to quit, who appreciate your humor, your insight, your openness…would you reconsider? There were some snarky comments, sure…but blogging can be a snarky arena.
I love reading your blog and really appreciate your perspective on frugal living. I hope you enjoy the break and come back to blogging soon!
Katy..I am so sorry..love you, your sense of humor and your ability to speak your truth with dignity.
Blessings,
Donna
we’ll be waiting for you when you come back.
thanks for making my life a little “richer.”
-marlo
I understand needing a break-sometimes that’s the best we can do is get away and get recharged. You recharge my perspective and my focus and mission to live a life I can be proud of. Please remember that people who have a clearly defined mission and optimism for what they’re doing will attract followers with different levels of maturity and tact. To have critics means you took a stand and were volnerable enough to share it. For every critic, you probably have hundreds of other people who appreciate your perspective and look forward to seeing what’s new at the Nonconsumer Advocate. Thank you for what you’ve written so far…hoping to see more!
so glad there was so much response to this – but don’t have time to read them and assume someone probably said what I am also feeling. Right now I’m reading an amazing book called Necessary Losses by Judith Viorst. It shows how in life over and over and over again, we need to let go (not just of things!!!) but of idealizations and beliefs of perfectionism. Life is filled with good and bad – the bad is hard to take but helps us grow up. I’m not saying I know how either, but one can’t escape from them. I do feel badly you experienced it in something you are doing so wonderfully at. I also will miss your wonderful blog if you stop, but it IS YOUR LIFE and you must do what’s best for you. It’s been an honor peeking into your life and being inspired by your words.
Love you
I am addicted to your emails! You inspire me with your blog, Katy! I feel like I just lost a close friend, knowing that I won’t hear from you anymore… Please don’t let those jerks win. I know how hurt you are but think of all your readers who do love you and your thoughts!!!
i just went back and read the discussion yesterday and am a bit confused. if i were katy, i don’t think i’d care quite so much about discussing phrases and their implications as i would about people passing judgment on how i feed my family. maybe some things ought to be off limits, you know?
Dear Katy,
I read your blog regularly and really enjoy it. I just realized today I’ve been reading for close to 2 years! I don’t even know how I found you.
I’ve enjoyed and appreciated reading about your perspective on a non-consumer life. Please take care – I’ll miss your blog.
Kat
Wow! All this over one person’s grocery shopping preferences? Let’s allow each other some room to make our own choices, people!
Katy, I have enjoyed reading your blog. It takes courage to put your life and your opinions on display. I hope that you’ll be willing to take the risk again and bless your fans with more from Katy’s world. I, for one, love your posts even when I don’t agree with them. Peace to you.
Katie – don’t go. Don’t let the few ruin it for the many. Otherwise, the a-holes win. Keep your chin up. I’ve been following you for over 2 years and have really enjoyed your work. I wish you peace.
Hey Katy – I’m a long-time reader, but rarely, if ever read the comments on any blogs, specifically to avoid any nonconstructive attacks. I did want to join with everyone else here to tell you that for every person that may have said something mean or nasty yesterday, there are at least a few more people that find your writing inspiring, helpful, and entertaining every day.
I hope you get what you need from your break and come back soon!
Katy, it’s fine to take a break. I take sabbaticals though I love teaching. But I believe in what I do, and I know that’s true for you too, in spades. I also know from decades of teaching and giving myself permission from the heart, that what I say can be misunderstood. It happened today, when I went after the greed that is wrecking our world. I mentioned the plutocrats and corporations who want to use our cheap labor for their easy lifestyle. I even mentioned the universities that go out of their way to recruit out-of-state students for the sake of the higher tuition, to the exclusion of us native Oregonians. And I faulted my own university for its giant classes using scantron sheets to score my students’ work–those teachers don’t learn their students’ names, which for me is the “name” of the game.
I said that, and when one of my students then walked out of the classroom, I thought, “Oh-oh, my soapbox misfired” (to mix a delicious metaphor). I wrote to the student and served up an apology if I had offended him. No, he wrote back, he actually enjoyed it–the implication, Nature was calling.
I mention this because at any moment I may be misunderstood. What I want from my students is what I tender in their direction, an earnest conversation. I would wish to be forgiven as I forgive, to paraphrase one of the 10 commandments. I know what it means to hear criticism, and I have cycled home after class thinking, “Screw it all–I’ll take my PERS money and run.” But I love teaching, and by the time I roll up the driveway, I’m back on center, or not long after. And come the next week, I’m back in the classroom and risking my hide all over again. And loving it. And, I’ll add, being loved.
Finally, I’ll add that I’ve never missed reading your blog, though I rarely have the time to read the comments. I want my students to continue to be able to read what you write. You’re right up there with Wendell Berry, who writes of farming and food with such absolute clarity. So catch your breath and come back soon. For the good of the planet.
I wish you were my dad.
Me too!
I am a lurker forced out of hiding! You are the first site I look at in the morning. I always look forward to it.
I understand the need for a break, but hope you do come back soon.
Thank you for all you have shared with us!
~Nancy
Katy,
I read your blog and the Frugal Girl’s a couple times a week. I’ve learned a lot from both, but since we don’t have an Aldi over here in NE PDX, I really appreciate reading about all your great local frugal finds and local frugal ideas. I live 2 blocks away from a New Seasons and can’t afford to shop there. Tonight I went to Goodwill and bought a Hanna Andersson jacket for $4.99 to sell on Craigslist, thinking of you and your great idea to sell the PJs. I hope you come back soon.
No please don’t go! I look for udates on your site everyday. I love it
Oh no. How dare they!!! I’m going to miss you so much. I love your blog – I get it by email. I really look forward to it and hope to get one again soon. I understand why you want to do this, however. Please read all these comments from people who support you and what you’re doing and please know that more people feel positively towards you and your blog than negatively.
I struggle with alot of the same issues as you and really enjoyed reading your blog. Thanks. 🙂
No Katie. You must not stop blogging. You are useful. I need to hear about what you are getting your boys for Christmas.
I am a long term reader and first time commentor.
Katy,
I am another “lurker” who feel compelled to comment. I really do enjoy reading your posts. It’s unfortunate that there are some mean spirited people who take pleasure in bringing others down. I hope that you do come back to the blog but I will understand if you don’t
You do have friends here!
JaredC
Katy I hope that your break is a short one, your insights and topics are always thought provoking and inspiring. I think your food shopping entry was spot on and spoke of your personal experience, observations and concerns. If someone doesn’t agree that’s okay – it seems to spark debate amongst the group if nothing else. I hope you will come back soon and continue your blog, please don’t let a few rotten apples spoil it for your other readers. I wish you all the best and look forward to your return!!
First of all: No! I love reading your blog and am sad to see yet another blogger I love forced out of blogging by nasty commenters. Sigh. On the other hand, it sounds as though you are at peace with you decision, and I hope you enjoy your break. I’ve had a great time reading this blog, learned a lot and have been inspired to keep taking frugal measures in my own life.
As for the conflict you highlighted in your penultimate post, I get it. We struggle with that all the time as we try to pay down our debts, keep our costs low and tread lightly on the earth. It’s an important issue, and one worth discussing rationally. Such a shame that the discussion didn’t go that way.
I’ll miss your words of wisdom and frugal living updates. Ciao for now.
I am sorry to hear that. I really enjoy your blog and am sorry that a few mean spirited people ruin it for the rest of us.
Hope you are back soon
I’m so sorry that people were nasty. It’s just a fact of life that some people make themselves feel better by putting others down. You just have to ignore it.
I love your blog.
Please come back soon!
Katy – don’t let negative people get you down! I love reading your blog every day, and if others feel differently, there are a million other blogs they can go read instead. You just keep doing what feels right to you, for your circumstances and your family.
I am a long time, daily reader – don’t comment too often. I will very much miss reading your blog and hope that you decide to continue. I was especially looking forward to reading how you were planning to handle “all things holiday” this year. I hope after you take some time to decompress, you will consider writing for us again! Thanks! Us frugal girls need your guidance!
Don’t quit because people are rude! You are a wonderful person and I check your blog every day for inspiration. Honestly, if it wasn’t for finding your blog through GRS, I would have never even considered shopping at the thrift store or checking Craigslist when our oven died! I can think of at least 3-4 positive changes I have made in my life just by reading what you had to say. So, if nothing else, know that you did make a difference to me.
All the people in the world are in a big continuum from the most elitist to the most humble. Everyone has their own past experiences guiding them so you shouldn’t let what others say get you down. No one can know what it is like to live your specific life or my specific life, etc. I have friends who think I’m a food snob because I won’t eat trans fats and others who think I am a heathen for eating sugar! You can’t win if you try to make everyone understand you.
Just keep doing what you’re doing and hopefully one day it will lead you back to blogging! Thanks,
Beth D. from Michigan
I have been waiting to post because I wanted to be able to really think over what was said,from both sides and see how you would react to the comments. Now that I have and finally read all the comments as well,I have to say my opinion here is going to differ then the other hundred plus comments.
I do think a break would be in your best interest. I do not know why you had to include the beautiful people comment in your reasoning why you will not spend all your grocery money at New Seasons as opposed to Safeway. Had you ended by saying that you choose frugality due to wanting to be debt free that would have been more than enough.
I found the beautiful people comment demeaning and rude. Not only to those that choose to shop exclusively at New Seasons but to those who shop at other places,like safeway.
I do try to read your blog regularly and I don’t always agree with your choices but they are your choices and I do try to respect that. I felt by you making that statement you had no respect for anyone in either shopping situation.
So yes,please take a break. Maybe the free time will allow you to refocus on how you approach things,how you write your comments.
Katy i really love your blog and have learned LOADS from reading it for just a few months. I live a million miles away in Scotland but what you write about makes so much sense to me. I really hope you’ll be back soon and just wanted to write a few words of support. Best wishes x
“I do think a break would be in your best interest.”
“yes,please take a break. Maybe the free time will allow you to refocus on how you approach things,how you write your comments.”
You don’t have to read it if you don’t like it, Wanda. But you don’t have to patronize Katy. She’s not 3.
Katy, your honesty is refreshing and sincere, and it makes some people uncomfortable. Most people who are on the forefront of social change get this kind of pushback from people who are threatened by changing the status quo. I hope you choose to ignore the negative feedback and realize that you have an important contribution to make in this ongoing conversation.
Katy, I’m really sorry you feel so bad. You simply can’t please everyone all the time because there are always people waiting to take pot shots at other people. You have given a great deal of pleasure to me through your post. I’ll be looking forward to your return.
Come on, people. Are we so uptight that we can’t laugh at ourselves. I have often noticed Katy’s wonderful sense of humor and think she probably threw out, “beautiful people” to refer to all the different types that shop at Whole Foods–the hippie couple, the woman dressed to the nines, the guy who can’t buy the sourdough unless he checks the crust, etc. If a comedian on TV said it we would probably laugh. We should laugh here, too.
Take a break if you want however, please consider all of the people including myself who are helped by reading your blog before you throw in the towel. I must admit that I read the negative and critcal comment to your recent entry about food shopping. My comment to the author would be, “Whatever!” We all have values that are worthy and important to us and if someone doesn’t agree with us then so be it. Personal values are just that – personal. I have been influenced by many people who have helped me adjust and perhaps rethink some of my values and life choices. I would like to think that I am ever growing in my thinking and that I allow others to do the same. Your critic just doesn’t happen to agree with you and took some rather cheap shots at you but that doesn’t mean alot in the who scheme of things does it? I am a 60 year old widow of three years and while I am financially comfortable, I am learning through blogs like yours and a few others, how to live happily without being dependant on buying things or spending money to make my life whole.
Wait! There was no NCA in my inbox today and I feel sad. Katy, please come back! I didn’t read all the comments and don’t really understand what they issue was, but you are awesome and a lot of us love NCA!
I am so sorry there are so many mean people out there. I will certainly miss reading your blog! I hope that people realize we are all just doing our best.
Hey Katy,
It seems that the snarky commenters were in the minority of your readers. I think you should keep on with this. Plus I still need to make those “buttons” for your site. So, will you start again if I make you your buttons now?
Sincerely,
Jessie
Katy,
PLEASE do not leave! I have been following your blog for about a year and a half although I have never commented. When I wake up in the morning I check three things-my email, my bank account, and your blog. Even when I was traveling on a 6week camping trip this summer I read your blog when I had internet access. You inspire me all the time. I love your posts. I have 3 children and work full time as a teacher. Many times I feel isolated when practicing a non-consumer lifestyle. Many people around me don’t understand it. I rely on your blogs and the people who comment to help me remember there is a larger community out there of people who want to make green and frugal choices. Thank you for everything you have done for me in the last year and half. Please come back!
Katy- Take a ‘little’ break…take some deep breathes (I am after reading some of the snippy $%& people wrote) and then come back. Your writing is refreshing because of it’s honesty, anyone who puts it all out there is bound to attract some nasty energy once in a while. This blog has helped me to evaluate what I care to spend my money and energy on and what I can make do with. My life is better and I am more conscious about what I bring into my house as a result. Thanks for the inspiration!
R
I think it’s sad that a few people have “ruined it” for the rest of us. Personally, Katy, I found your blog while searching for help in getting my life together and have found much inspiration on these pages. To me, you have written this blog to help others and share the benefit of things you have done and learned. And trust me, you have. You’ve given me hope that I CAN live my life more simply, get out of debt, and be happier. And you did it in a way that was entertaining to boot. No small feat there. I totally get that the comments were kind of weird – the lard one especially – but I do wish that you wouldn’t take it to heart so much. I would wager that those commenters are vastly outnumbered by a far more reasonable audience who would never dream of saying some of the things that were said and have great respect for you. I do hope that someday you will get the desire to write here again, but in the meantime, I certainly shall read through the archives. But I’ll still be a little sad. 🙁 Wishing you the best.
Best of luck to you, Katy. I have just loved your blog since coming to it this summer. Your life style (as I can judge through an RSS reader) is of a simple life with practical thinking. You, more than the extreme minimalists, present an ideal life of balance, reason, and simplicity. I’ll so miss your contributions to my perspectives on less! Best of luck to you…I hope you someday return.
*Sniff* how sad this makes me. I have enjoyed reading your blog for years now and I will miss it terribly. I selfishly hope you return to writing, in one form or another. Thank you for all the effort you’ve poured into entertaining and teaching us on The Internet.
Katy,
I just discovered the Non-Consumer Advocate and have loved it. It’s humorous, inspiring, and thought-provoking. Heck, I have even undertaken my own November Food-stamp challenge with my family of 4. I am so sorry that the mean-spirited comments (which I haven’t read) have discouraged you from writing your wonderful blog. Even though you can’t come up with a definitive reason to write, if you still enjoy it, please know that many others enjoy reading your writing. I hope that you will find the right outlet to share your creative work–and let your loyal readers in on it! Thanks for all thus far.
Heather
Never defend your position, or let others define you. wo-Man UP!
Shane, come back!
*sniff*
Take a rest and come back to us when you are ready! I think a lot of the commentors were not “regulars” around here and really didn’t get it. (Like the woman telling you how to get started feeding your family whole foods, that was rich.)
XOXO
BTW, while I’m feeling a bit gushy, thanks to all the lively and funny regular commentors on this blog—I think you are fine, thoughtful people and I often watch for certain names wondering how you will weigh in on a topic too.
In my job I have to confront people saying inappropriate things all the time. I’ve got a gift for how I deal with it- let me know, I can write a guest post for ya! (OK, I’m trying to make you giggle!)
Have a good hiatus, I look forward to your return.
I’m so sad to see you go. Yours has been my favorite blog in the category of wise and realistic spending habits. I love your attitude and your everyday examples of thriftiness. I hope you decide to come back soon. I wish you the very best.
Dear Katy,
I am a 64 years young grandmother who has loved reading your blog the past year and a half. This is my first ever fan letter (and comment on a blog) but I did wanted to thank you for sharing so much of your life and experience — I feel I am losing a young friend. You remind me so much of Amy Dacyczyn in your writing — your honesty, enthusiasm, determination and love of family shine through. Like Amy, you are going on to other things at a good time for your family I think — teenagers love their privacy and perhaps this change comes at the best time for them. I want to congratulate you for reaching your goal of paying off the debt related to renovating your 100 year old house — when I read that you would reach your goal next month I really wondered if you would continue blogging (this was before the big grocery store fuss). I too have renovated an old house so I can relate to unexpected expense (wiring, plumbing, etc was expected but who knew sewer lines needed replacing!). I hope if you do write an e-book you will be richly compensated for it — I am sure you are thinking about college expenses in the future for your boys! We were fortunately able to pay for our two children’s educations using many of the strategies you have talked about the past two years so hang in there – it can be done!
Enjoy your free time — you have been doing a” volunteer job “putting in a lot of hours for the past couple years. I once rather abruptly quit a demanding volunteer job where I was working probably 20-30 hrs a week (while also working part time for pay as you do) and amazingly the organization went on without me as I knew it would!
I live in the Seattle area so I hope I see you some day shopping at the Goodwill with your sister — it is my favorite store!
Take care and thanks again for your blog.
Sincerely,
Carol
Katy, I am writing to let you know how much I have enjoyed your postings. I have told many friends about you, and you have steered me to attempting a more minimalist way of life. Thank you, and good luck with whatever you decide to do.
I will miss you! You have taught me so much through your blog. Mean people suck!
Please come back, Katy. I look forward to reading your blog each morning and have really missed you these past few days.
I have only commented once or twice before , but I’ve already promised myself that if and when you do start writing again, I’ll hit the ol’ reply button more frequently so that you’ll know how much your posts mean to me.
Laura in Phoenix
I don’t blame you for wanting to take a step back from things. The limelight draws the crazies like an outdoor light does moths (lard? Seriously?). It was nice to realize I am not the only one out there with a certain set of values.
While I realize you took some flack for your “beautiful people” comment, let me say that I understand. When I worked as a cashier in New Jersey, just a stone’s throw away from the likes of Whitney Houston and Mary Higgins Clark, my grocery store was for the common folk. This was before things like “organic” and “locally grown” were an issue.
You could choose to go to the grocery store with better lighting and newer linoleum, but you were paying more for the same thing. Just then you would be shopping with folks wearing mink coats and larger diamonds. When I read your words, I did not take offense. I understood them for what they were.
Hang in there!
I’ve missed the discussion and I’m really sad at the outcome. 🙁
I do understand you – judgemental/misunderstanding people are hard to bear after a while, but don’t forget about all the positive comments and good discussion please.
Hope you come back soon. I really wanted to join your “100 things on your table”, he he he!
What a loss for non-consumers everywhere. I sincerely hope you write a book (e or paper whichever) because you have a down to earth and very insightful way of writing. You’re right, people can be freakishly mean and in this instance we have all lost out. Protect your heart and soul!
Hi Katy!
I saw the storm earlier this week, and promised myself I would come out of “lurker” status and make time to read all the comments this weekend. I am heartened to see all the support you are receiving. Your mom turned me on to your blog about a year ago. (I am a regular at one of her guest cottages.) Even though I live far away in Brussels its still so relevant.
Reading your blog is a treat I allow myself that makes me feel good, as good as I feel when I make myself a really strong cup of coffee with extra rich foamy milk and take the time to actually enjoy it! And when I drink the coffee while reading your blog well I can tell you I feel seriously indulged! Anyway your writing always makes me laugh while at the same time making me think. What could be better than that?
I could say here that you really shouldn’t give a tiny little rat’s behind about the lard people and the over-reactors to the beautiful people comment–but that’s kinda stupid really ’cause you care. Of course you care, or you wouldn’t be taking the time to blog. People who care, get hurt sometimes its as simple as that. Let it bother you! Hang on to it–ok maybe not forever but it only bothers you because you care. And caring is good. All these people wrote back to you because your caring has meant something to them. And it has to me too, so I thank you. I will read your archives to accompany my fantastic coffee days, in the hopes that you will be back sometime in the future.
All the best, Katy!
Shirley
Katy–
Although I am a regular reader–and avid fan–of your blog, I don’t often read the comments unless it is a topic I hope people will add more ideas on that I can learn from, since you often ask how other people save, re-use, etc., and probably the only time I have commented has been when I thought I may have had something to contribute. Please don’t let the negative comments turn you away from blogging–I can see from all the positive comments out here now that many other people besides me have been encouraged and inspired by you in our attempts to adopt a more frugal lifestyle. I was so happy to see another blog entry today (Ikea)–I thought I was the only person who still managed their life with a pencil and paper!! They are readily available, never require charging, and the expense of a laptop or smartphone doesn’t fit my frugal lifestyle! I hope you keep blogging, and I will try to remember to to comment more often so you will know how many times someone out there in blogland thinks “wow, why didn’t I think of that!”, “I’ll have to try that” or even the times when you just make me smile!!
Katy,
I just learned of the discontinuation of NCA. I’m really disappointed. Your blog is the only reason I check my email. I’ll try to catch you on FB and Twitter. You’ve been a real inspiration to me.