An interesting thread is going on right now at The Non-Consumer Advocate Facebook Group. It was prompted by a reader and has gotten me thinking.
Here’s the question:
“I’m curious. What are you buying that you, personally do not want to buy? Why must you?”
My first response was this:
“Actually, I feel pretty good about my recent purchases. Almost all of my Japanese host family gifts were edibles, except for a locally made tea towel and two Adidas T-shirts.
I can’t remember the last time I bought anything new for myself.”
But reader responses about underwear and being outvoted on cable-TV made me realize that there’s actually a number of places where I spend money that I wish I wasn’t. So yes, the cable TV irks me, as do some of my husband’s other spending habits that I won’t go into here. I have a $9.25 looming library fine and wish more than anything else that I turn back the clock and not buy a 1914 house in need of $100,000 in home repair. (Seriously, just writing that sentence makes me start to cry.)
But how about you, what are you spending money on that you wish you weren’t? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Katy Wolk-Stanley
“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”
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{ 114 comments… read them below or add one }
I actually resent paying my council tax because I’m sure my house has been placed in the wrong band. It seems a lot of money for the area and the size of my house. But it would cost me more to have it reevaluated than I would actually save in a year and I don’t intend on living here forever.
Bummer.
Katy
I recently bought a $60 orange Jessica Simpson dress from Dillard’s while on vacation in Wyoming. I loved how it fit, looked on me, etc. I couldn’t stand the price tag. I dragged it home and tried it on. Still loved how it fit. Still thought it’d be great in my wardrobe.
But then I saw that the tag said dry clean only (I hate using dry cleaners. I don’t really like the chemicals and they cost ALOT!). Then I began to worry about my choice even more.
So I returned the darn thing. Because I knew that each time I looked at it, or wore it, I would have buyer’s guilt. Now I don’t 🙂
In terms of recurring services though… I’ve done away with cable, nixed our pricey cell phone plans, and am wishing for cheaper internet…but know I need to not cut that one completely out just yet. Perhaps I have a little guilt over the astronomical prices of the gym we are members at?
It sounds like you made the right choice. I *never* buy anything that’s dry clean only. The cost a dry cleaning it once is what it would cost to buy used, so it’s a real stab in the wallet.
Katy
You know, I have found over the years that MANY things that say dry clean only can actually be laundered to no ill effect. However the problem is, you don’t know that until you try it, and you can’t try it on the new item and then return it if it doesn’t work. 🙂
I have quite a few work clothes items that say dry clean, and I wash them on gentle and hang them dry. I’ve done this for years. So perhaps readers could try with second-hand things they might find that are dry clean only – the stakes would be lower in the event of a bad outcome!!
I agree. I have a standing rule that I do not buy dry clean only clothes.
I too have found that many dry clean items are just fine in the washer. I buy all my clothes thrift store (yard sale, freecycle, etc) so I just throw them in the wash. If they stay nice, great, if not, I figure it was just a small loss. I’ve only ever wrecked one item, (but I don’t wear a lot of fancy clothes) a sweater that after washing started to lose bits of itself everywhere. My house was just covered with little purple bits. I do hang dry most of my clothes (with a five minute dryer fluff afterwards) so I figure this helps some clothes to stay nice.
A professional dry cleaner told me that you ony have to dry clean velvet everthing else can be washed and not wrung out. Drip dry and he reccomends steaming for wrinkles. I have tried this and found it to be effective. I only buy used clothing and don’t pay attention to what the label says anymore!
I have found that some newer materials do NOT even hand wash. Only try this when the consequence won’t be overwhelming.
Auto insurance and gas. An assortment of circumstances, some my own regrettable past choices and others brought on by “fate” (whatever that is), have me commuting 18 miles each way each day. I’ve accepted the situation as a necessary compromise, but the expense goes against my environmental values as well, and it grates that I can’t change where I live or where I work for the time being.
I work 9 miles from home, when there’s is a hospital (in the same system no less!) that I could actually walk to. However, they weren’t hiring new nurses in 1995, and I’ve bonded with *my* hospital, so it’s the big commute for me.
Katy
Hi Katy, no judgement I’m just trying to pass on information. http://lifehacker.com/5855550/the-true-cost-of-commuting-you-could-buy-a-house-priced-15900-more-for-each-mile-you-move-closer-to-work/all
Luckily, my husband bicycle commutes and I only work a day or two per week! 😀
Katy
Do braces count? We are plunking down $4500 (after insurance) for braces for my daughter… Is it how I want to spend $4500…. um, no. But I will because that is what parents do 😉
I’m with you, Tina. My daughter just had a frenectomy done and COMPLETELY freaks out when it comes to medical procedures. So, since we love her and all, we forked over an extra $450 so she could be knocked out during the procedure. The braces come next…
We are very lucky, as neither of our boys need braces. I had them, as did my sister. My husband didn’t, and his teeth are extremely crooked.
Katy
My husband also had them about 3 years ago. Same price. DS will probably need them too in a few years. Sigh….
I do have nice teeth now, but they totally overdid it! I think I could have had way less work done and still looked fine. First I had headgear to move back my molars, then they said my molars were too far back and I needed to have all my wisdom teeth pulled, even though it looked like there was room in the ex-rays to me. Then I had four years of braces, at the end of which they still wanted to do more but I made them take them off. They told me my teeth would move back and I needed a retainer, but I didn’t do any of that and nothings moved at all. My advice to you, don’t buy it. We don’t all need to look like toothpaste models. Its not worth it!!!
Silly school requirements for my son!
#1 blood boiler: “We will be eating lunch at Burger King during this field trip. Your child must bring money for a Burger King lunch.” Ummm. OK. So, let’s see. How many children in that grade are on free/reduced lunch, and how many families do you think have Burger King money to spare, especially when the permission slip you sent home only gives, at most, 2 days’ notice? Maybe there just isn’t Burger King money left after mean budgetary musts. How many parents of these children have lost jobs (many) or are suddenly working only 1/2 to 2/3 the hours they used to be getting (many more! including me!)? How many of the “rich” families who have parents at one of the mills have found their paychecks 50% or more smaller because production pay is almost nonexistent because the mill has barely any orders? How many students’ homes are being foreclosed on? How many for sale signs do you see on pickup trucks in that school district’s territory? And, you send home a field trip slip with only a day or 2’s notice telling families, some of whom used to give to the food bank but are now using it!, that they’ve got to cough up at least a fiver for Burger King on field trip day. Haven’t you noticed the vastly increased numbers of children who have entered your school’s free/reduced lunch roles over the past couple of years?
And, school supplies!
1st pet peeve: Teachers who ask for really expensive items based on personal preference. I still have, in the top of my son’s closet, 2 very nice, still in great shape, 3 ring binders with all the installed canvas folders and full zip-around closure. Those things are $15 a piece at the store! 2 of his 5th grade teachers required them. That’s $30! Luckily, I only had to buy 1. I was able to get a freebie for the second one. Had to be the fully zippable kind! Had to! 😛 But, still, other, more reasonable options would’ve done fine as they have for other teachers before and after. Nope. Gotta be those really nice, expensive ones. Oh, and that’s another thing, we kept those binders for later grades. Nope! Never since! And, did I mention those notebooks are still in great shape? They barely left his desk all year! All those teachers’ great plans for those binders being the new “system”? Never got off the ground. Didn’t even last successfully for the whole first grading period. I’ve considered handed them down as freebies to rising students, but then I worry they’ll be required again!
2nd pet peeve: Teachers asking for unneeded items. For example, I have seen 2 different classrooms each containing a cabinet FULL of packs of construction paper leftover from years past, yet each year those teacher have “2 packs of construction paper” on their required supplies lists. I saw names magic markered onto those construction paper packets from students that were in that grade 2 and 3 years prior!
3rd pet peeve: Teachers assigning projects that require purchased supplies, and these projects are due the next day! No warning! Worst offender? The science teacher who assigned a jello and candies cellular model due the next day. I didn’t have jello in the cupboard. Nor, do I keep 5 different candies in the house. And, did I have the money to go out and buy them that night? No. I had no money for that. At all. I had just paid bills, bought my son some new underwear, put gas in the car, and bought healthy, useful groceries. Who in their right mind is going to want to buy packets of 5 different candies?
I could go on and on, but it’s summer vacation, and I don’t want to allot the school anymore headache time today. 😛
Wow.
I too hate the school supply lists that send 30 parents running 30 individual errands and wasting time and gasoline. I wish they would just ask for money, and then the teachers, (or even the classroom parent rep) could buy the supplies as needed. And my biggest pet peeve is buying a new pair of scissors every year. Sure, some go by the wayside, but all of them?
Those zippered binders also bug me. I buy them for $2-$3 apiece at Goodwill when I see them, as I have found that they do not last the school year, as the zippers and metal pieces break easily.
I’m on board with the school items as well. My 2nd grade son’s room mom was over the top this year. I must have received an email monthly asking for donations. First it was for PTA, then a suggested donation of $20 per child to cover parties for the year (x32 kids = what I felt should have covered parties and teachers gifts), then request for christmas presents, teacher birthday gifts, money to buy the office staff appreciation gifts, teacher appreciation week and end of year gifts for the teachers and principal. Then I found out she collected enough to get the teachers $200 gift certificates to Pottery Barn because they both wanted to buy new sheets!!! Um, I buy my sheets at Target or Costco when they are on sell!
We have families living in their cars and the teachers are getting Pottery Barn gift certificates – something is wrong with that picture. Next year my sons will give the teachers a card with a note that they have donated x amount of money to the school fund to help the needy families or to the food bank in the teachers name. The money I do have to spend should be spent on a need not a want. I will buy classroom supplies but will no longer help the teachers fund their redecorating wishes.
I do realize they spend money out of pocket for the classrooms but I am a nurse and spend my own money for scrubs, stethoscopes, penlights, hemostats, scissors, etc that I need for my job that I am not reimbursed for. We have also had layoffs and budget cuts and I have seen my raises come to a standstill so I get it but enough with the teacher gifts.
Kim
I think your compromise on the gifts (a donation in their name) is a nice one. I don’t come from an area where everyone spends for class activities, everything is quite individual so the asking all for donations to do a large gift is not something I’ve seen. Other teacher friends received gifts on a student by student basis, though I’m sure other people appreciate just giving someone money to take care of it.
I’m a teacher. I always send a note at Christmas time asking parents not to buy me a gift but to donate to the food bank instead. The list of school supplies covers basics the kids will be using. I can’t for the life of me see why parent buy new sicissors every year, I would think a pair purchased in 2nd grade should last for their primary “career”. I always have students who arrive without any supplies and I make sure they don’t do without as do most of my fellow teachers. We are limited to one field trip and ask that students bring a sack lunch. If they are on free or reduced lunches, the school cafeteria packs a lunch for them. I resent every single club the students belong to – girl scouts, boy scouts, 4-H, youth groups choir, drama, band, and on and on – come to teachers and want to sell overpriced cookies, cheese, wrapping paper, you name it so the kids can take a trip to Disney World. I need a couple hundred extra dollars every fall just show a token of support!
At my son’s school, MANY of the elementary teachers combine most of the supplies into classroom bins. That includes things like scissors. In many classrooms, the kids don’t get to keep their individual belongings and don’t get leftovers back at the end of the year.
Barb, I literally whispered out loud, “YES!” when I read your comment reply. I like your style! (And, your school’s.)
Wanna hear a pisser? When I was an elementary student (back when there was still primordial ooze and Pangea was whole), 2 different years, I had teachers who gave students a 0 in the grade book if they hadn’t brought in all their required supplies by 2 or 3 days into the school year. Talk about coercion!!! All these years later, that still sets my teeth on edge as very, very wrong indeed.
My daughter had a teacher who would tell them to bring in supplies the next day! We live in a rural area and the stores are about 15 miles away. I was lucky that I buy posterboard and model magic and such at the begining of each school year just for these last minute requests.
Autism therapy, definitely.
Laura, I completely understand. I used to be an ABA provider, and both of my brothers have autism. My dad worked 60 hours a week to afford speech therapy. It isn’t cheap!
Ouch. We do RDI which is relatively cheap, but there are years it has been over a quarter of our income, which is already pretty low. Good thing we know how to save money in other areas! It has helped immensely, and, our sweet son is worth every penny, but it’s still painful to think of all the money we put toward it.
Wedding showers where young couples register for *really expensive things, like a $75 mixing bowl set or a $900 chair. This annoys me on so many levels. I usually just get them a $50 gift card to one of the stores where they are registered, but I still feel grumpy about it.
I refused to register when my husband and I married in 1993. Some people were pissed, but I say rather them than us.
Katy
We didn’t register, either. We didn’t need much or want much, and it seems the antithesis of what we stand for.
AMEN! We didn’t register either, we had a small destination wedding to Vegas, I felt lucky people joined us there, I could have NEVER ask for a gift. I get pissy about how entitled people are regarding wedding gifts (and if you are lucky, you can by them a shower gift and engagement party gift too! Seriously, just happened. We were also instructed by the MOH on what specific engagement presents to buy). What did I say about the pissy part? 🙂
On a similar note, extravagant baby shower gifts for the 2nd or 3rd child. My brother and sister in law registered for everything brand new (stroller, crib, car seat–their other child is 2), and they live an incredibly wasteful lifestyle (i.e. everytime they would move, they would throw out all their furniture and kitchen stuff and buy brand new things. I always dug through their “trash” they left in my mother in law’s garage, and supplied half of my kitchen with this “waste” which also included unused wedding gifts!) They also registered for very expensive gifts for their 2 year old ($100+) and a $700 camcorder on their 2nd child’s registry. What the heck!
We must be related – we seem to have the same in-laws!
Hey, I’m having a first baby and the only major things that haven’t been given to me are a car seat and a baby swing. I admit, I’m leery of used car seats (though i know you can get good ones) but I believe my office pals are going to join forces to get it. Really? People who spent $40 on a pair of Levi’s for an infant? Are you KIDDING ME??? Goodwill has baby clothes for $1 each FULL PRICE. And my full understanding is that if you’re LUCKY, you remember to put something on your kid once or twice before they (a) outgrow it or (b) puke/pee/poop it out of commission. I have found an AMAZING registry site: http://www.encorebabyregistry.com…you can specify if you want an item new or used…VERY cool.
Some items might be a better quality than asking for cheap things that need replaced, but you definitely shouldn’t feel obligated to purchase things you aren’t comfortable with. My friend is getting married and I’ve looked through her registries and bought everything in a cupcake theme so I can mix and match items and only spend what I’m comfortable with, plus adding some non-registry stuff that goes along with the theme.
I put a $600 trunk on our registry with the intention that NO guests would buy it. However, the store gives discounts to bride/groom after the wedding on whatever wasn’t bought from the registry. That means this $600 trunk? is only $400 for the bride/groom. Then any gift cards received for that store could go toward it too.
Not ALL brides/grooms expect to be showered with $1,000 gifts!
That is a good idea! I know my friend wanted to register for less, but the grooms family has quite posh friends so she was asked to add more.
Amen! My daughter, who’s in her twenties, has now been in several weddings. I cannot believe the expense involved, and the things she has had to pay for. I know there must be a generational value involved here, because I was married in 1979, but we would never have dreamed of foisting so much expense on members of the wedding party. It was our wedding!
Recently, my daughter got invited to a second shower for the bride to be, whose wedding she is part of come August. Yes–there is already one shower planned, plus a bachelorette party, to which everyone contributes. I was floored to find out that she and the bride are paying a few hundred dollars to rent a car to drive to San Diego for this second shower, AND my daughter is expected to come up with yet another gift. Something has gone haywire with all these expectations. For one thing, wasn’t the idea of a shower to help set up the household of a young couple? Well, where does that leave us when the couple has been living together for 2 years already? You just wonder…
I married in 1980 and my mother made all the bridesmaid dresses. It was a simple pattern, I picked out and paid for the fabric. We bought one pattern and my mom adjusted it for size on each girl. My sister (who was maid of honor) wore the same dress only in a different color. My mom actually shortened 2 of the 3 dresses after the wedding for my sister and best friend to wear again. My own daughter was asked to be in a friend’s wedding last year but had to decline because of the enormous cost of the dress (seriously who has an extra $900 in their pocket for a dress!). Sure wish mom was still around.
When I got married in 1993, I had each bridesmaid pick out their own short sleeve floral dress. They all matched and it looked great. My cousin even got hers at Goodwill!
Katy
Whoa, I have literally never heard of someone asking a bridesmaid to purchase a 900 dollar dress! That’s more than all my friends paid for their own gowns. My rule for bridesmaid dresses has been if it’s not under 200 I can’t participate and so far so good (I made the rule after my first bridesmaid dress was 300, the bride paid half)
There are lots of easier options now, I still don’t get why bridesmaid dresses are chosen from the stores, they are mostly awful and made of polyester, blergh.
That is frustrating, but if she’s going by traditional wedding etiquite, she isn’t expected to buy another gift. I know she might feel uncomfortable showing up to a shower and not having a gift, but espeically since she is already a bridesmaid, she shouldn’t feel obligated to spend more money. I know a lot of people also feel like they have to buy a gift for the shower and another gift for the wedding, however that is NOT TRUE. Being a recent bride myself, I can tell you that the wedding frenzy in America right now is crazy and out of control. Wedding magazines and websites have some of the most outrageous and unrealistic “advice” that I ended up completely ignoring.
That’s too bad. A lot of my friends seem to register for a variety of things. I’ve found it’s pretty easy to get something for $25-30, but that’s just my circle of friends.
The list is endless. I agree about teachers’ gifts. In my state, it’s supposed to be a $50 maximum in gifts (yeah, right), plus many parents do get gift certificates for places where a teacher could buy supplies. The end-of-year gift giving is over the top for dance instructors, bus drivers, teachers, coaches, etc., etc.
Right now, university fees are killing me. I have to take two more classes for my MA. I know this is the “investment in my future” but I’m working on an independent internship and thesis, which means I won’t even take up a seat in a classroom. I communicate with my professors via email and skype. Fees are $1500 per class.
Yes! It is the fees that are the real killer. $108 per credit hour at our local community college BUT it’s that additional $45 per credit hour in fees that is the real killer. Why don’t they just say it is $153 per credit hour. I bet if they did students would probably look at a different school.
I am so with you on that! My daughter is a senior in a private art school, getting a B.A. in 3D animation. I know she is great at this, and I know it is worth is so she can be happy working in something she loves, but the 100K Parent Plus loans I have to look forward to at age 55? Not so great.
School uniforms. I love the idea of uniforms, but really resent the price tag. A polo shirt is $23, tie is $19, and vest is $35, and we can’t shop around 🙁
We found out that our school gets lots of out-grown clothing donated that those in the know can buy at a “suggested donation” of $3/piece. They don’t advertise it though– we found out about it talking to the front office person.
I’m hoping that we have something similar in years to come. Right now my kids are in a school that only just opened this year, so there isn’t much on our used clothing for sale list.
Cable TV which will end in August unless Time Warner will give me another deal.
Increases for rent, electricity and water each year when my income does not increase.
Anything on the car (Seattle’s public transportation system is lacking–I miss SF–but commuting downtown by bus is no problem).
A good bra! How I wish I could wear a cami and call it a day. But then again, I like ’em 🙂
I spend a lot on food, and buy high-quality by choice. I would rather spend the money improving the back yard to grow organic edibles, and we are slowly shifting in that direction. Lots of trade-offs though with time and patience!
Christmas presents. I dread it. Since my families on both sides have a different set of values (i.e. buy lots of stuff you don’t need), I dread politely having that conversation with my mother-in-law and mother every Christmas that we would like to opt-out of the gift giving.
I *hate* paying for insurance. I personally have never reported anything to insurance in 12 years of car ownership and 8 years of home ownership, so this bill drives me mad. I will concede that since combining auto policies with my husband before we were married, he’s managed to make this bill worth it. Still painful though. I also hated paying for my own health insurance when I had to. I knew I needed it for emergencies, but I paid in a lot more than it paid out!
Secondary hates: Gas for the car (hubby actually needs a big truck, and the gas consumption blows me away each month!) and heating oil (a new hate now that we’ve moved into an old house not connected to natural gas – and only $5K to run the line 12 feet to our house!)
I hate insurance too- it seems such a game. And when u use it, your rates go up- ugh. I hate the idea of spending so much money on ‘what if’. And it is obviously big business, judging from the TV ads.
Before anyone chimes in, I do realize that in certain instances in can be wonderful. And my dad made a living at it when I was growing up. But it still irks me, especially when health insurance DOES NOT cover hearing aids, which my husband wears, and which must be replaced every 8 or so years.
And I’m not just referring to things that typically spring to mind when talking insurance – I’m talking about things also like extended warranties, service plans, etc.
In the community I used to live there was a lot of serious talk about starting a community insurance co-op, it would be a non profit, so if the money isn’t needed for emergencies, it would go back to the people and the rates would get cheaper and cheeper. The idea was sparked after the economy tanked and some people started looking into the flows of how money came into our local economy and how it left. Insurance was a huge drain! On that note, imagine a non-profit health care system!
And my husband’s deductible is so high, he won’t even go to the Dr. because we end up paying the whole bill ourselves anyway! So what is the point of insurance?
I get very annoyed with myself every two weeks when I make a payment on my student loan. If I had been more careful with money and bought less junk during college I would probably have only had about 2/3 of my original loan amount. I was lucky to have a temporary no interest loan from the bank of mom on some loans from getting my TESOL certificate because the interest rate was much higher than on my undergrad. Thankfully, student loans are my only debt.
A future annoyance may be having to rent or purchase a house in order to keep working at my job (I currently share a house with family members and my portion of the bill is paying for satellite TV and groceries). I work for an online school and we are required to have high speed internet. Guess who lives in the middle of the nowhere and has internet providers who won’t run cable down their road? I was able to work from my dad’s for the first few years, but he recently moved to an even more remote location than me. This will be about 600-800 (almost half my take home salary). 🙁
Agreed on the student loan. I went to a relatively dirt cheap university, and I’m sure that if I’d been a little more thrifty and adjusted my expectations a bit, I could have gotten out without any loans. Also, if I’d had a lick of sense I would have shopped around and probably could have found much lower interest rates. I literally picked a lender from the list at random (ah, the stupidity of youth).
I kick myself now, of course. On the plus side, my debt snowball will finish its journey in December of next year, so after that I’ll be free!
(shameless plug: blogging about it)
I wonder if cable tv is one of the “big” ones for women, as far as unwanted expenditures go.
We actually have Directv, but it’s all the same… a time suck and a cash suck. We have probably 800 channels but mostly just watch the news and some shows we can easily find online. Most of the time we watch streaming movies and TV on Netflix, which is much, much cheaper. Yet, for years my husband has insisted on Directv because during football season, he HAS to get all his Packer games, which aren’t shown locally (in New England.) So this means that we’re wasting money the rest of the year just for that one sports season!
But, finally, I have convinced him to get rid of it, and I think this will save almost $100 a month, which is really a huge savings. And I don’t think I’ll miss it.
There are also others things… not so much that I spend money on, but which are taking money from the general household pool. (Okay, I’ll say it, it’s mostly my husband.) My husband buys a pre-made sandwich and beverage EVERY day. I’ve tried to buy bread and cold cuts, but unless I make him the lunch – which is sometimes a pain and not my job – he won’t bring his own lunch, and he’ll waste money. I have also tried and tried and tried some more to get him to bring healthy snacks to work – he has his own office and storage is no big deal – but he insists on buying multiple vending machine snacks throughout the day. My very conservative estimate is that he spends $50 a week on food when he could spent a fraction of that. It adds up. Ahh!
As for me… hmm… I have really cut way down in recent years. I guess I’d say I have somewhat of a problem with impulse cheap clothing buys at Target. They have cute cheap clothes… usually not my style, but I convince myself that the clothes are so cheap I could use it as an opportunity to branch out. But then I never wear them. I can’t even tell you how many cheap items of clothing I own… and the “cheap” adds up. The clutter also adds up. Every now and then I have Big Brothers Big Sisters pick it up, but only when I get around to packing a bag.
Living simply is so much better… it frees up money and I really think it brings a sense of clarity and calm.
Oh I hear you on the husband lunches! 🙂 I buy turkey and bread and keep them at work and make a sandwich every day but my husband eats out every day for lunch. After a little over a year of marriage, I finally asked him if he would eat sandwiches for lunch if I made them ahead of time. I hate feeling like I’m mothering him but if it will save us money, I will suck it up and do it. I took the opportunity to go ahead and make my own sandwiches too, so now it’s easier to just grab one and take it back to my desk instead of making it at work.
Just wondering what’s wrong with mothering him? I’ve been making my husband’s lunches for over thirty years. If I didn’t, he would buy lunch every day. It’s my value to save the money, so I do the work. Now that we don’t have kids at home (I used to make their lunches almost every day for school, that’s for four kids) I keep a good supply of things like fruit, yogurt, granola bars, and dinner leftovers so that he can pack his own lunch. With retirement looming on the horizon and us needing to beef up our savings, he has finally come to the conclusion that it’s better to take a lunch.
I agree that there’s nothing wrong with making a spouse’s lunch. I’m in charge of lunches for the both of us (admittedly, I don’t have kids to wrangle so it’s probably a bit simpler than many situations), and he gets home hours before I do so he makes weeknight dinners.
It seems like a fair trade, and I enjoy figuring out how to repurpose leftovers or incorporate random bits of veg that need using up into bento.
Job applications. In the country I live in they have to be ‘big’. not only a letter and a CV but also copies of references, nice (and expensive) photo for each applicaion (how I wish we’d be more like the anglo-saxon countries in that regard), a nice folder to hold it all together, and of course the cost of mailing those things. You’re lucky if you get four file back from a company that doesn’t want you. You’re doubly lucky if the file itself is in a good enough condition to be reused. Most aren’t. Of course your hair always needs to look nice and you need to have a professional wardrobe. *sighs*
And since I have just finished my education and have no working experiences so far, money is also quite tight.
I hate those applications *grumbles*
Sonya – that’s really interesting. When I lived in Canada I had a graduate school position in which I hired casual workers into my project. There were a lot of international students and immigrant workers in the area, and I remember getting applications which included height, weight, other physical attributes, and photographs. It struck me as so odd (since it would be totally illegal in many places (including Canada, I assume) to consider those things.) That was when I began to realize that including that information is actually normal elsewhere.
until not so many years ago it was normal to include your parents, their names and their professions in your applications. Nowadays you don#t do that anymore. Height and weight and other data liek that was never included, but of course you can judge a little by a photo. Photos cannot officially be demanded because the law was changed, but everybody knows what is expected when they write something like “full application” in their text. Don’t you dare send something in without a picture… of course people are being discriminated against because of picture or name.
Oh, I’m german by the way. In terms of job applications we’re conservative, and I studied and want to work in a conservative area too (law).
I am another one who bought an old house, never realizing how many things would need fixing. I feel like every single weekend of the past two years, and $70,000 more for the materials, has gone itno this house that we will eventually sell. It is the biggest (in every sense) monetary mistake we have ever made. When we started we had scrimped for 20 years and had a $100,000 nest egg—not just scrimping, but each working a job and a half. Now we have so little in savings that I just want to cry. I has made me fall out of love with this house, too.
I guess the thing I hate paying for the most is health insurace — maybe that’s because I work for the health insurance company!!!! And the plan is a high deductible plan to boot! So the give us a bonus to cover part of the high deductible by opening a Health Savings Account . But you still have to make up the difference from what they pay into the account to what you need to meet your deductible and then your out of pocket. My husband keeps telling me it’s to cover us in case of a serious illness, but if it’s not serious I’m ending up paying for it till I reach my deductible and OOP. And they raise the deductible and OOP every year and you’re lucky to get a raise.
I guess the only benefit is I work from home and they pay for my internet. Is that a fair trade off? When I’m sick, I don’t think so.
Oh wait…I think we work for the same HUGE insurance company that I wouldn’t name at gunpoint because I’m SURE the borg would catch me!!!
Nothing I can currently think of (I love my direct tv) but oh the PAST things I’ve spent money on that what drive me crazy. How much better off would our savings be if I hadn’t spent like I still had a job 🙁
I hate paying for my boyfriend’s (long term, sharing money, living together) cigarettes. They make him smell terrible, the apartment smell terrible (he smokes outside, but the smell stays on his clothes and comes in with him), his truck smell so bad I don’t want to ride in it, I can barely stand to kiss him, it’s unhealthy for him, and not great for me either (second hand smoke).
And for all of these privileges, we’re paying the low low price of $10+ a pack.
That would drive me nuts!! There’s nothing I hate more than cigarettes, and to have the honor of paying for them as well?! I couldn’t do it.
Yeah, smoking is a deal-breaker for me, dating-wise.
This year I’ve seen increases for electricity (7.1% in April – the start of 17% over 3 years) and just got notification of a 4.3% rent increase that will be effective October 1st.
My income? I got a 3% increase in January – which was eaten up by the new tax rates. I did the math and was sad to discover that I’m taking home *less* money than I did in 2011.
A second Netflix account. One in his name and one in mine. We have different tastes in movies an I tried to stagger the movies so we got one of his then one of mine. Then he tried to change and hide the password on me. I figure this way is cheaper than marriage counseling! 🙂
I think you can upgrade to get two at a time from Netflix.
Katy
We have the 4 disk plan with Netflix, and I don’t know if this is avaiable for all plans, but ours lets us set up 2 DVD queue’s one for him and one for me at no extra cost. I don’t watch a lot of DVDs, so we set it up so that I get 1 disk and he gets 3. When I send my disk in they send the next from my queue, and when he sends back one from his queue then they send out the next from his. No added expense and no marital strife.
I’m going to look into the separate queue! Katy, he doesn’t want me messing with the order of his crappy bad sci fi movies. 😉
Yep, just get a sub-queue on one of them. We have a 2 DVD plan, with one disc allocated to each queue. He gets his, and I get mine. No hassle, and it’s certainly cheaper than maintaining two whole plans!
If he’s jumpy about you getting to touch his queue, just make sure *yours* is the sub-queue, and then you’ll log in with your own password and won’t be able to even see his queue. The only downside is that the e-mail notifications will still go to his address, because for some reason they haven’t implemented a dirt-simple division there. Also, you’ll need the ‘master’ account in order to stream anything.
I hate spending money on a second car…I think we could work things out to get by with just one car, but my husband disagrees.
I hate paying utility bills that are higher than I think they should be because my husband is a slacker about remembering to turn stuff OFF when not in use. I was trained to turn off when not in use, but he gets his bad habbits from his family – they leave everything on all the time, even when they’re not using it. Trying to instill new habits in him is an uphill battle (sigh).
I hate spending money on computers (and a printer) because of the way everything becomes obsolete so fast. I mean, we really do need computers (we both do some work from home, and not having internet acesss is this day and age would be pretty awkward), so it’s not like I have some objection to buying the stuff at all. But why does it all have to go obsolete so fast, forcing me to spend money on upgrades and replacements just to “keep up”? I mean, they stoppped selling the ink for my printer, and my software is at the point where it’s having trouble opening documents from newer software….grrrrr!!!
(But I will say I’m on the other side of the divide from Katy and one of the other posters about my old house. Some things do cost more money to fix and take care of, but I love the old house and its sturdy construction, and the house is one thing I don’t regret spending money on.)
I really hate paying $100 a month for cable that never has anything on it. But my husband whines when I ask to cut it down. We have netflix, so I don’t understand why we couldn’t just dump cable completely. And the web has tons of free tv shows on it now, so we could easily get by with no cable.
I also hate wasting money on two SUV payments. One would have worked fine. And we could have just bought an old junker for an extra car if we needed one.
I hate the prices of food now. It is outrageous how food prices have skyrocketed. I only buy sale products and stock up big if there is a good sale. Last week they had milk for $3 a gallon, so I bought 6 gallons and canned in qt jars. That will give us about 6mo worth of milk because we don’t drink it, but just use it in cooking.
I also get irritated at the fact that my husband won’t drink water, or even cheap things like tea. He finally got off the soda pop kick which helped, but now I have to buy four gallons of juice a week for him. I drink water or instant tea which is much cheaper.
And for my final complaint, I hate it when the weather turns cold with snow, so that I have to dry clothes in the dryer. I don’t mind hanging them out everyday on the line. But in the snowy weather they just don’t dry, they freeze. So I end up having to pay for extra electricity to dry them. And that irks me.
Terri, would they dry inside on a rack of some sorts (I’m assuming you’ll have heating on if you’re home in the winter)
A compromise between buying a drying rack to air dry everything and tossing it all in the dryer is just to take the larger, heavier stuff (jeans, sweatshirts, towels) out of the load and throw the rest in the dryer. These can just be hung on the backs of kitchen chairs, over doors, on the edge of the washer or laundry basket, or somewhere similar. I have a bedframe piece in my hallway that works great. Then the rest of the load dries much quicker, using less energy and costing less.
Thank you for the link to the memory of removing frozen clothes from a washing line. There was a smell – and sound – to those garments.
I understand the frustration with insurance. My husband and I drove cars for over 25 years and never had a claim. One week after my son got his lisence, he had an accident which totaled 2 cars and sent six people to the hospital. Thankfully no one died. But I am also thankful for insurance. The medical bills were well over $100,000.
I loathe spending money on cable each month. However, my live-in boyfriend is a basketball blogger, so 5 months out of the year he has to have it. The other 7 months he’s analyzing basketball games he didn’t get to watch during the season. Luckily he pays for the additional basketball package during the season himself 😉
I also curse insurance – my health insurance covers a whisper of what I’ve spent… And I’m almost sick of paying for treatments that take FOREVER to work! I don’t mind home and contents insurance as much, as it seems more reasonably price (~$300 for my one bedder), and the excess is high, which means I won’t use it unless it’s a really big deal.
I hate paying for transport – silly I know. But I like it when I can walk. Or when I use the work car (ie, for work). So when I get a train/cab/fill up a car I’m borrowing, I curse it (and then think, aren’t I lucky I don’t have car loan payments, insurance, rego etc etc…)
I hate paying Directv, but then again I love watching the Cooking Channel, so we are shopping around for a better deal with other carriers.
On a random note, I saw the cutest book suggested a few months ago in either Better Homes and Gardens or Good Housekeeping, I can’t remember which, but anyway the book is Bubbly On Your Budget – Live Luxuriously with What You Have by Marjorie Hillis, and it is great. I didn’t find it at the library and had to order it, but it was worth the splurge. It was first published in 1937, but with current economic times it is amazingly still relevent.
Keep up the good work! I love your blog! I just finished making my first batch of homemade laundry detergent thanks to you. 🙂
I’ll have to get my hand on a copy of that book. Thanks!
Katy
I lost the cable battle, too…though at least we have found a cheaper provider. The only thing we watch is a commercial-free (sort-of) kids’ channel, for 20 minutes a day. Why could Netflix not replace this?
Personally, my big peeve is parking for my job in the very expensive downtown core. I try to ride my bike or take the bus, but some days I need the car. There goes twenty bucks. And if I’m honest I spend way to much on food on work days…I’m doing better about taking my lunch but that afternoon snack kills me.
I hate paying for health insurance when the vast majority of the money I would spend on health, if I had it, wouldnt be covered. I’m a big fan of natural medicine, nutrition and herbology. As someone who works physically, massage on a regular basis or even some regular yoga classes or something like that would be amazing. And then there’s the odd time when I do need western medicine and even if you know what you need and how to use it, you need an appointment to get the prescription. When I have needed their help, I end up with doctors who have barely looked me in the eyes and have not listened at all to my story, while coming up with some theory or diagnosis that obviously makes no sense, like the one who insisted that my rash was from the cream I used to treat the rash!!! Even though Id had it for weeks before I used the cream!!! Argh.
COMMUTING. My husband and I each live about an hour from work. He rides the bus into Atlanta, at a cost of $5 each way. That’s $50 a week. My gas costs to drive to work are about the same.
In fact, I’m looking for a new job in the city, and we’re moving, because commuting is such a time and money suck!
I hate paying outrageous, inflated shipping costs! This alone is reason enough to buy local and/or secondhand as much as possible. I’m sorry, but it does not cost $8.95 to mail a t-shirt. I also hate that the cost of wasteful, often unnecessary, environmentally harmful packaging is built into the cost of new items.
D
Ditto!!
It has got to be cable TV. I’ve been talking for at least 3 years about getting rid of it and just when I think everyone is on board someone pipes up about the new fall shows, or the new summer shows. Stuff that we, supposebly, can’t watch on Hulu. I just hate paying for cable.
Paypal fees!
I wish we didn’t spend so much on eating out. I wish I hadn’t spent $450 on my wedding dress 5 years ago, and instead bought a nice, but not necessarily “wedding” dress for under $100. Some days I want to cancel Netflix, but other days I want to keep it.
Vet bills. I just got back from the vet 15 min. ago where I plunked down $232.00 for one senior kitty wellness exam complete with old man kitty bloodwork. The vets around here like the “frills”. Fancy offices, embossed christmas cards, etc. and today I got a full color glossy, tri-fold “report card” at the end of his visit. My first thought was, “I’d rather not have the practice blow money on stuff like this and focus on quality care and perhaps lower fees. Definitely don’t get a pet if you are looking to save money these days. They are well worth it to me though and I am of the mindset that if I am going to have pets, I am going to take care of them as they deserve. The love I get from them is worth every penny even though I bitch about it.
Oh, and just a frugal note, you can get many supplements that your vet might recommend (not prescriptions like antibiotics) on Amazon or sites like Medi-vet. I save a ton of money on Cosequin (joint supplement) and a probiotic as well as hairball goo. My vet charges $45.00 a box for Cosequin and I get it for $13 and change (free shipping) from Amazon.
Audition expenses. All of them require travel and the latest thing for orchestras to do is make the application deadline two weeks before the audition. This means we don’t know if we’re invited and get a specific time – we already know which days – for a couple days after the audition. Plane tickets get expensive that close to take-off. When it come to hotel stays I’ve taken to what other auditionees do and only plan to stay for the preliminary round instead of the whole 2-3 days.
I love playing the flute but I hate how much it costs to just to look for a position.
sara w: sorry you had to go thru so much pushing and pulling of teeth. but don’t write off the long term effects of straightened teeth. really crokked teeth are hard to clean properly and often lead to decay. worse, uppers and lowers that don’t line up properly exert too much pressure on each other, leading to fractured teeth and ground away tooth surfaces. i currently have 17 crowns on my teeth all due to cracked teeth or excessive wear on bite surfaces due to mis-aligned bite. braces would have been cheaper over time for me. i regret the spending my parents couldn’t do for me!
Extra medical exprenses. We pay about $600 per month for health insurance (dental and vision) and we still have to pay co-pays and a deducable and they only pay about 90% of the costs. So, we end up paying the other 10%. I know my husband’s company pays the additional $600 per month because they pay for half of our insurance.
I second Linda H.’s vet fees. Vets in my area are very expensive compared to vets in other nearby cities, but I still go to the one near my home so as not to stress out the kitties (and myself!) with a long car ride. I have 5 cats and I have to take them to the vet for their yearly checkup and shots 1 or 2 at a time, with a paycheck or two in between. It costs about $200 per cat per yearly visit. I also have a horse and it seems their costs are exponentially larger.
A second thing I really hate paying for is WATER. Growing up in the country, we had a well and didn’t think twice about watering the flowers and veggies. Now that I live in the city, it costs me over $35 per month whether I use water or not – that’s what it costs just to have access to city water. My water bill is about $150 every 3 months but it is going to be over $300 next time because of having to water my gardens in the drought conditions we are experiencing.
I hear you on the water bills! I lived right next to a Great Lake, and my water bill for 3 months is what I pay now for 1 month. Plus, the rates are going to go up again. I’m trying to save a small maple tree which needs watering, and I have 2 flowering pear trees in the backyard that are wilting and need water.
I started taking “army” showers, and I’m looking for other ways to conserve more water.
We have high water bills here in FL, and my parents taught me a couple tricks that might assist. Keep a clean bucket in the bathroom. When you want to take a shower, collect the pre-heat water from the tub spigot that you run to heat the water up, then set the bucket outside of the tub, shower, and use the water as needed: for plants, or dump into the washing machine. It’s clean water, and isn’t wasted. I also do this at the kitchen sink, when I am getting ready to run the dishwasher, as it needs to have hot water immediately, so I run the water into a bucket and save it too. Don’t know if this is a help, but it works for me.
That’s terrifically cheap compared to our water bill, which is over $80/month for water and sewer. And no, we don’t have a pool or water our lawn. The minimum charge is $75/month just to have service.
Pretty much anything to do with the computer. Husband works from home and needs it to work well. Often he tells me we need this or that new o/s upgrade, or yet another piece of equipment. And it seems they go obsolete quicker all the time.
Linux is a free, open source o/s. Better yet, virtually no problems with viruses. Check it out. I switched several years ago, and have had no regrets.
Gas. Seattle has the highest gas prices in the country, and with my husband commuting into the city twice a week during the year for school (which, thank goodness is paid for by his company) it was killing us. It’s so hard to budget for too, because it’s constantly changing!
Also, student loans. I know education is never a waste, but I can’t even tell you how frustrated I am that I’m paying student loans and can’t find a job in the field I really want to work in.
I love the commenters on this post! And I think it’s hilarious that they are all women and many of them are complaining that their men don’t share their frugal values. What is it about men that they don’t care about saving money? Well, most of them. My hubby has finally, after 32 years of marriage, become more frugal than I am. I do the bill-paying and he actually asked me one day recently how come we spend so much money every month!
We are completely debt-free and have been for years, but I hate paying for utilities that go up every year even when we use less. We pay over $60 a month for water in the winter, even though we only use about 300 cubic feet. The city tacks fees onto the water bill, like for a new fire engine or police services, that should be called taxes but they call fees.
Two things:
1. Alcohol in Washington state can now be legally sold in grocery stores, drug stores etc. instead of state-run stand-alone stores for the first time since the 1920’s. We were told it would be cheaper to get the state out of the business–it’s not. This has not stopped my husband from stocking up on local, craft distillery gin for his weekly treat: a Friday night martini. Yes, he works hard and he’s earned it. But I drink an occasional glass of $4.99 per bottle wine at Trader Joe’s. Must get that man to be a cheaper date! 😉
2. We owned 2 high MPG cars, paid in full. An idiot hit my husband last summer and totaled my husband’s car. Thank God, husband was okay. But with that ordeal in mind, he wanted to get a brand new car with the most up-to-date safety equipment instead of buying a used car (same make, model, year) like he’d had before. Now we have a car payment, it’s tiny but its very existence irritates me—all because of an inattentive driver following my husband on the freeway. Not to mention, the whole incident scared my son and me to death! Getting that call that my husband was in an ambulance headed to the ER…yikes. Maybe I should start drinking martinis, that could calm me down I guess!
whoops, somehow I hit “reply” and it put my comment in between Sue O’s and Katy’s response. Sorry.
Interest on debt. I’m reminded of that old quote:
“Those who understand interest, earn it. Those who don’t, pay it.”
Ah, if only I’d had the sense God gave a rock, and hadn’t racked up those credit card bills and student loans while in college! The good news is that I’ll be debt-free by the end of next year.
Never sacrifice your future self’s happiness and well-being for anything ephemeral.
Yes, Rose, I completely understand what you’re saying. My husband and I were idiot students, racked up student loan debt, and are now paying the price. Our income has doubled since those days, but we wouldn’t even know it with how we scrape by and live so frugally just to pay our monthly student loan payments.
I wish I had had the wisdom in my early twenties to realize we would pay someday, and now that time has come.
I hated paying for cable, so we completely cut it out and bought a digital antennea from Best Buy for $30. We get about 20 channels (granted 12 of them are in Spanish), but we get the news and most major channels. We also pay for Netflix (1 movie at a time + streaming is really all you need) and we fork over $8 a month for Hulu Plus. By doing that we have made our internet bill “worth it” since it provides 3/4 of our entertainment. Of course, we miss out on the great programming on AMC and HBO, but everything always comes out on DVD. 🙂
All you unattached ladies out there, pay attention to the needs of prospective partners! It’s very difficult to change the mindset of someone who HAS to have the latest, newest, biggest fanciest of everything! I think it’s worth taking into consideration how their family lives, as it MAY be reflected in their spending habits. At the very least , start with an agreed division of shared expenses ( 50/50? Proportional? ) and seperate, personal money that doesn’t need to be justified.Money issues are one of the greatest causes of discord, it’s intelligent to see where you stand early on, and have a written plan( avoids “ recollections may vary” , and should include agreements about credit cards, car loans etc. Unromantic? Yes! Romantic doesn’t, however, include truck payments that leave you eating noodles 4 times a week, or a cable bill that means you can’t save for a holiday! It’s not about right or wrong, it’s about what makes BOTH of you happy.
That is awful!
Katy