Sometimes I feel bad about how I don’t lead a gripping life. There are many days when I go nowhere except to drop the kids at school. I hunker down at home to write, craft, read, cook and putter. To say it’s unimpressive would be an understatement.
Shouldn’t I be out hiking, drinking with the girls, cycling country roads and checking in about town with my iPhone? (Oh wait, I don’t have an iPhone. Scratch that.) My friends on Facebook seem to be out and about all. The. Time.
What’s wrong with me?
If it’s wrong to be content sitting at home eating a big bowl of oatmeal and taking care of household tasks, then I don’t want to be right.
Walking to the store to buy fresh ingredients for a single meal instead of meal planning a two week schedule, cuddling under a blanket to read the newest library book, rearranging my already-bought belongings for a new look, watching goofy TV with the kids, bundling up to attend a youth soccer game.
This is what I like to do.
Yes, it would be awesome to win a free family trip to Hawaii or Mexico. But even if I don’t, it turns out that I’m quite happy hanging out at home, impressing no one and patting myself on the back for both doing laundry and putting it away.
You may call it dull as dirt, but it suits me.
Katy Wolk-Stanley
“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”
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{ 53 comments… read them below or add one }
Ha Ha…right now I am at home in my loungy clothes on a gray fall day, listening to Spotify, with a pan of cornbread in the oven and chicken soup in the crockpot, a craft project laid out and a new book to read…Wild, From Lost to Found on the Pacific Trail….my idea of a very good life, indeed!
Or is it “loungey” clothes?
I do believe it’s actually “loungewear.”
😉
Katy
great book, by the way
I thought my life was the most boring one in the world. It’s good to know I’m not alone.
OK, that really doesn’t sound right, and it’s not at all what I meant.
I used to hate being called a homebody. But I really like my home. It’s not decorated, but I own everything in it and I like everything in it. I share it with 2 dogs, so there are dog toys here and there, and dog hair everywhere. I’m not much into cooking or crafting, but when I do attempt these things, I have fun with them. I love having people over for games and supper, or just for visiting, and knowing that I don’t have to try to impress them. We can just be comfortable and enjoy the simpler things in life.
Home is where the heart is. If your home has heart, it’s the best place in the world.
I’m not all that into cooking either, but that family of mine keeps expecting food!
Crazy.
Katy
I am as dull as dirt as well and I love it.
I’m right there with you, and with winter coming I’ll be doing alot more reading and movie watching under blankets.
Sounds heavenly!
Katy
The grass is always greener. Your “Friends” are probably not as busy or amazing as they want you to believe. I know that i have a toddler in the terrible twos right now but all my friends on facebook see is the cute little video of her dancing with her daddy. You lead a wonderful life and you are honest about it which is great!
Being a homebody suits me just fine! The only reason I don’t wear pajamas 24/7 is that I get dressed to walk to the next block and feed my “orphan” feral cats each day.
Well this is a well timed post for me – thank you! I was feeling somewhat doubtful of myself and my chosen lifestyle when a ‘friend’ asked me what I did on the weekend after she had just mentioned parties, shopping and being very busy. I, on the other hand, read a great book from the library, went on a hike with my husband and dog, made a batch of chili, and spent Saturday evening with cups of tea, a homemade coffee cake and a DVD rental (also from the library). Whoo hoo…not in her eyes I imagine and felt. Why do I care, and why did I feel…less than? I am pretty sure I would have felt overwhelmed at the end of her type of weekend, not to mention financially poorer! I’ve chosen to live a frugal and simple life, but sometimes the feeling bad appears. This also when I have just given up a stressful career (no options for part-time) makes me feel somewhat less at times and I wish I could be a mover and a shaker, but I am just not. Anyway, these are my internal struggles with self, and I thank you for making me feel less alone and ‘correct’ instead of ‘wrong’ 🙂
PS. No iPhone (or even a cell) for me either, which seems to shock a number of people.
You weekend sounds lovely.
Katy
I share a lot of your feelings about the movers and shakers … it’s our society that makes us all feel “less than” if we aren’t “super busy” or racing frantically from activity to activity. Here’s to the simpler life! Well said.
This article is one of the best I have read in a while, and a great exposition of what you are describing about societal pressure to be busy:
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/30/the-busy-trap/
Great article – these quotes resonated with me, “…they’re addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence” and “…obviously your life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if you are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day.” I’ve wonder if some people are afraid to be alone with themselves. The latter quote is likely why I sometimes question my slow lifestyle and it’s meaning or lack thereof is some people’s eyes. It is a constant balance/battle for me between living in a way that suits me and finding worth in that choice despite what society tells me to do or be.
Gave my husband my Tracfone. (Brother was on a transplant list and I had to go with him when he got the call. One kidney and pancreas gift and 4 years later, I don’t want/need it anymore.) It is helpful for hubby’s new- very part time job. I hate the dog on a leash feeling it gave me. I don’t miss it. I like sitting home. I work 36 hours + overtime if available a week. I enjoy being home with the kids.
I’m one of the lame people that count how many hours I’d have to work to provide the $$ for whatever caught my eye.It’s usually pretty easy to say “No” to after that. As nurse in SCU I think of the crap I have to put up with some nights to earn it and no way am parting with my hard earned $$. Love the blanket on the sofa with a kid thing. (Contrary to TV/movie ideals – I am not a size 0 with a boob job, a mini skirt, and stiletto heels chasing some hot doctor down the hall. They forgot to hire hot doctors here. I much prefer competent.)
Katy, You know full well I’m with you on the home thing. Thankfully, all of us are happy to be at home, doing our own thing. Kev looks crocheting pillow cases and throws (small blankets)…I like to knit and read…to me, that is bliss. 🙂
Years ago I learned the phrase “contenment-robber,” referencing things like magazines and tv shows that seem like fun, enjoyable entertainment but which in reality leave one feeling “less than” or somehow malcontent. It’s why I’m not on FB … because I know I would look at the endless pictures of people having so.much.fun and I would question my own amount of “fun” or inactivity. Instead, I do like you, Katy, and find pleasure in my home and my daily rituals and in what I have. I think part of that peace comes with age, and part comes with giving up on impressing anybody out there. As we all know, they’re too busy trying to impress than to be impressed with whatever I’m doing!
LOVE that phrase “contentment robber”!
When I was in yoga teacher training and we were studying the sutras, one of the most significant for me was learning to practicde contentment. That is a practice all on its own!
I really love this little article. I don’t have any kids but I am married and LOVE to spend time “puttering” around my house, as Katy puts it. But because I’m young and childless, and because I have several talents, I am involved in LOTS of other things aside from my full-time job. In fact, I have FOUR jobs (one full time and three part time), sing in two different bands, coordinate two clubs for students…I could go on. I seem to feel like free time, as much as I love it and long for it, is something that is “bad.” In my mind, if I have free time, then I’m not doing something wrong. I realize that this is unhealthy and that I deserve to have time to myself, but I can’t seem to put that into practice. When I do somehow get some time to myself, I feel guilty about it – like there is something better I could be doing with my time. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you get around it?
Hannah, I too am childless, and I engage in my neighborhood with several volunteer outlets, like with the neighborhood association and with our park adoptee group. I enjoy both and feel very satisfied that I’m giving back to my community and making new friends who enjoy what I do. I do a lot for others, sometime too much, so when I don’t have an activity or a scheduled event, I do thing for ME. Things I want, things I need, like painting my toenails, or doing a deep hair condition, or taking too long to browse my thrift store. When you say you could be doing something better with your free time, I ask “what is better than taking care of YOU?” It sounds like you do alot for others. You are young now, but if you keep up that pace, you will become a bit hollow, a bit worn out, you will wonder why you do all that you do. Spend time with yourself, do fun things just for you. YOU deserve that, and only you can give that back to you. One final tip: if you find it hard to slow down and enjoy an afternoon alone, try not talking for a few hours. Don’t talk to your pets, or yourself, or the tv, etc. Just be with your thoughts and take it easy. It’s not lazy, it’s rest and rejuvenation. xoxo
Thanks, Katzien…I’ll try to keep that in mind. ^_^
I love puttering at home. No rat race for me when I can avoid it. We (my husband and myself) have worked hard to pay for this home of ours….why should I want to go away from it all the time? So many people spend so much time working to have a “fancy and well-decorated” home and are never home to enjoy it. And I, myself, feel much more comfy in someone’s home that is a little less than fancy and up-to-date….I feel like I can relax then. I like nesting….sprucing things up with what I have or have thrifted, baking, reading, etc. Besides, when the day is done, all the others really don’t even think about what I have been doing all day….they are too exhausted with their own busy lives. Envy is a wicked thing….lots of other people would love to have our lives….so let’s just up and enjoy what we have been so generously blessed with!!
Katy, loved this post!!!
Katy, I so agree with you … therefore, I’m just as “wrong” as you and I don’t care. I don’t need to buy a lottery ticket to get the life I want because I’m happy and content as I am. C’est la view!
I’d house swap with you if you decided you wanted a trip to Hawaii! =)
Careful what you offer!
Katy
Thank you, Katy, for helping me feel it’s OK to enjoy my “boring” life (as my family puts it).
At the end of my work day, I look forward to going home and staying there. I find happiness and comfort being surrounded by my critters and the things I love.
My home is my sanctuary from the crazy outside world and I try hard to keep it that way. I don’t subscribe to any magazines or newspapers, I don’t have cable or satellite TV, I don’t have Internet and I have a big NO SOLICITING sign by my door. I have a basic cell phone – no iPhone or data plan for me.
My family accuses me of living with my head in the sand because I am not connected 24/7, but keeping the world at large OUT of my home suits me. Home is where I remember who I really am and can be myself, warts and all.
I’m boring too! We could be a club! But with no meetings, because well, we like to be home! 🙂
I love being at home. My favorite thing to do is putter all day long!
You are awesome Katy!!
I like it too. In some circles it might be “odd” but it contributes well to good family life I believe. So glad to hear there are like-minded people out there.
Truly, I often feel the same way, Katy. Not that I want monuments erected in my name or anything – but I do sometimes feel I am missing out by not doing something different – being more pro-active, being more outspoken, doing more for charity… sigh. Great POST!
The older (and wiser) I get, the more I enjoy being home and not being over- scheduled. My job has been very tough this past year so I often try to schedule Sundays so that I go nowhere, recharge my batteries and get life organized for the coming week. Would some people call that boring? Perhaps…..but I call it “sanity”.
This comment is in defense of you!
I have been reading your blog for several months now and I would not categorize anything you do, or how you live, as ‘unimpressive’. To me, it’s the complete opposite!
I’m sure your family appreciates all you do more than any of your followers could ever dream of and at the end of the day, does anything else really matter?
As you say “home is where the heart is” and everyone who reads your blog knows where yours lives! Keep being “Katy” 🙂
I love being at home. When exactly did people start thinking they had to be out and about all the time? I didn’t grow up that way. If you want to be out all the time that’s fine, but I’m happy being home where I’m most comfortable.
I love being home. I get drained if I have to be out and about too much. I had two bowls of oatmeal, drove carpool and cleaned out under the sink. I always think my life sounds dull but I am really very happy to be home with my family and do the at home things that make me happy.
Katy,
Doing the laundry AND putting it away? You ROCK!!
From another RN,
Peggy
Umm . . . not necessarily on the same day. 😛
Katy
Guess I’m dull and wrong, too. I love those days when I just putter around the house.
Katy, I heart your blog and lifestyle. My own lifestyle is similar and I marvel at the nonstressed pace of life my family and I live. I feel a little bit like I have stumbled upon a secret and others are missing out! I wish our culture would stop “glorifying” busyness….and encourage a simpler lifestyle. My pace of life does not allow for luxurious vacations or gorgeous home decor…but it does foster community and relationships! For me, home is where the heart is 🙂
I agree with many of the comments here as well as Jane Austen who said: “There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.”
I have a feeling you’re preaching to the choir – but I’ll happily sing along with everyone else here!
I believe it’s a sign of maturity to know ourselves and act accordingly.
Add me as a member of the dull as dirt club. I only go out grocery shopping in the car once a week, and usually to the discount drug-type store once every two or three weeks. Suits me pretty well most of the time.
Keeping up with the Joneses is always a losing game. I’m a big fan of your blog because you conscientiously choose your way of life and create your home as such. I also buck trends by living frugally, being childless, not subscribing to retail therapy (I almost never shop), by having never owned a cell phone, by choosing self-employment that isn’t lucrative but feeds my creative soul, by not owning dresses/skirts/high heels. Much of what I see in American culture is just plain ugly. Don’t ever apologize for choosing not to live in that rat race!
Thank you for this! I am a parttime worker and full time mom, and when I thought about my hobbies (knitting and reading) I suddenly felt like I belong more with the nursing home crowd. I love being at home!
Kate
Kate,
You are my soul sister! I am a parttime worker, and love to crochet and read. I’ve often thought my hobbies are “too old” for me. I would much rather stay home and read or crochet than go out shopping or to a fancy restaurant. I have a daughter in college who lives at home to save money, and I enjoy my slow-paced life. So many of my friends think I shoud be working full-time now that my daughter “doesn’t need me anymore”. But I love being at home, and by living frugally, we are able to make ends meet.
Being that i live 6 miles outside any town, If I’m not working I stay home. I do all errands before or after work. That enables me to just putter at home. I too have critters, (chickens, goats) to keep me company.
My sunday was spent making zucchinni bread for the freezer, and watching my granddaughter do art projects and listening to her babble on about nothing. For me, that priceless.
Oh, I forgot, critterwise, also 2 labs, and old cat, and a husband!!!
I don’t have enough clothing to spend any measurable time with. Or any household items. I have however always been a wanderer. My older brother and sister were always put on guard duty when we went anywhere so I wouldn’t wander off. When I got older shame from worrying my mother helped me stay put. Even when I moved away from home she still worried and I would get calls from strangers she had enlisted asking me to please call home. I eventually gave up and started shopping…a socially acceptable activity. She passed away 7-7-07 and if people do go to heaven she certainly would and could now even enlist the angels to help keep tabs on my whereabouts. I got rid of all my stuff and have been wandering ever since. I’ve watched eagles soar and the spirally mating flight of wild hawks. I’ve seen a black panther and her kitten cross a highway and a pair of huge nutria making their way north through drainage ditches…none of these animals offically exist in these parts. I still enjoy a cup of hot tea and making chocolate chip cookies but I’m at my best, my happiest when I can get away from the foul smell of cars and breathe deeply some fine fresh air, the breeze touching my face and the warm sun at my side.
You don’t have to defend it at all! People nowadays are so “connected” to absolutely nothing of importance. I recently deleted my Facebook account, because I thought there was no point in maintaining it. Look at everyone else–are they really, truly happy and at peace with their busy lives? Not being busy and stressed is worth a lot, in my book!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2oBBUjWKTk
Yep, me too! Makes me very dull and very happy. But turns out happy people are rare it this life, so how dull are we really??
I live for those kind of days! I work full-time in NYC and have to deal with people on the way to/from work, at work, anywhere I may have to stop on the way home. I’m no misanthrope, but after a while I do find I need some serious alone time at home just puttering around with no agenda and my own, uninterrupted, thoughts. My husband has the opposite issue, he works at home and rarely interacts with people face-to-face for days at a time. (Some weeks get so bad that I will send him to the movies for the day if I really need to be totally alone for a while.)
Fortunately we both prefer to just hang-out in a very relaxed way, and we compromise by doing a bit of what each of us wants. Our best day would be a cool, crisp, Fall morning that starts with a warm, hearty breakfast, followed by a long walk through Central Park, especially under the trees on The Mall or through The Ramble. We share a thermos of hot chocolate and just listen to the sounds of the park and city. Then we’ll have a nice lunch somewhere that has good soup and spend the rest of the day browsing art galleries, bookstores, or other places we love. It’s usually window shopping unless a truly good deal is found on something we do need or want, we’ve been lucky once or twice! Dinner will be a simple meal from the slow cooker, or leftovers so we don’t have to spend hours cooking. Then we cuddle on the couch and watch a movie or read while jazz plays on the radio. Simple pleasures indeed.