My Non-Consumer(ish) Gift Giving
by Katy on December 25, 2024 · 17 comments
Today is Christmas as well as the first night of Chanukah. There’s hasn’t been precise overlap of the two holidays since 2005, which makes 2024 seems extra special. My family gives Christmas presents, although we do light the menorah, eat latkes and spin the dreidel.
My goal for gifting is to either buy used or consumable as much as possible, as well as to avoid that Schmeff Schmezos guy like the plague. He has enough money without taking mine, thank you very much!
I’m gifting just two brand new items, one from my local Powell’s Books and the other from an historic hardware store. My husband also bought two brand new gifts. I wrapped almost everything in brand new Chanukah gifts bags, which I thrifted from Goodwill.
Here’s what we “bought” for everyone:
Son
My husband picked up a brand new TV at Costco for our son, even I was on team “We can find a used TV,” but sometimes you get outvoted, even when it’s a tie. I comfort myself knowing that there’ll be a warranty that doesn’t exist for Goodwill items. Also, I remind myself that “perfect is the enemy of the good” and have only bought a dozen or so brand new items since 2007 when I made the decision to only buy used.
I also got him a menorah from my stash. a mortar and pestle and apron from my Buy Nothing group, the aforementioned screwdriver from the non-chain hardware store, some lovely treats and a lottery scratch-it ticket.
Daughter
My husband bought a Roku box for our daughter, (also from Costco) and I bought her a set of Dungeon and Dragon books from Powell’s Books. I also got her a blender off Facebook Marketplace, plus a rice cooker and new pair of Apple airpods from Buy Nothing. Plus lots of yummy gluten-free treats, a thrifted menorah and a lottery ticket.
I also remade her baby book after finding a blank version of the original on eBay; and I did the bureaucracy to register and obtain a replacement college degree to match her legal name and gender.
Husband
My husband and I don’t exchange Christmas gifts, but I did tuck a few things into his stocking. Maple syrup, dried mango, plus various chocolate treats and a lottery ticket.
My sister
My sister and I both have Christmas adjacent birthdays, so we abstain from Christmas/Chanukah gifts. I mailed her birthday box to New York last week, which contained a variety of store bought treats, such as McVitie’s digestive biscuits, chocolate oranges and Jaffa cakes. (We lived in London for a few years throughout our childhood and are sentimental about British treats.) I also included a Revere Ware tea kettle, which I scored at a consignment shop for just $8. Her one broke a few years ago and she frequently complains about how the replacement one is worse in both form and function. Lastly I ordered a specific magazine from eBay that she and I oohed and ahhed over last summer.
It cost more to mail the box than to fill it.
My niece and nephew
Money. Venmo the college kids what they really want. Fifty bucks for Chanukah, fifty bucks for birthday. Boom, done!
My mother
I bought my mother a matching purse and wallet from the defunct company Queen Bee Creatoions, which sadly closed shop a few years ago. I bought these from a woman on Facebook Marketplace and it was a great score as they’re actually brand new. She’s also getting British treats and a lottery ticket.
My step father
My step father is getting a great big bag of gourmet goodies, plus a lottery ticket.
My daughter’s girlfriend
My daughter’s girlfriend is getting a pair of Goodwill Boutique earrings, a thrifted (brand new) fleece blanket, gluten-free treats and a lottery ticket.
That’s it, as we’ve winnowed down the gift list through the years. Not sending gifts to fertile cousins or their millions of kids, not doing a work gift exchange and always striving to avoid giving clutter or unethically manufactured objects. I feel content with my gifts this year.
How did you do?
Katy Wolk-Stanley
“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Bless you, Katy, for putting up a blog today. I started the day off alone. But the public radio station my clock radio is set on played instrumental holiday music. So I slowly woke up to such nice sounds. I was invited to a Christmas Day reception my friends from church put on every year; it is for those of us who have no families and no place(s) to go, and it is very sweet of them to do this. I just got back and am happy to read your writing.
Being the sole survivor of my family, I have very few people on my gift list. Easy to be frugal when you don’t have any kinfolk to shop for — but I certainly don’t recommend it.
The hosts of the above reception got a fairly large jar full of hard candy; it turned out to be the wife’s favorite kind. (Lucky coincidence.) The candy came to my house in a great big box via Amazon after the roommate moved away (still owed back rent so I didn’t forward it to her). The jar began life at Aldi and it held olives; it was meant for holiday gift-giving so it already had a red ribbon you could take on and off. So glad I saved it where I could find it again. Even happier to get the olive smell out.
Children on my list got new storybooks marked down to 50 cents each on clearance.
Pal from college is getting a cell phone charger bought inexpensively from Habitat Re-store 2 years ago. It’s the kind you put on your bedside table. Plus an in-car charger (designed to plug into vehicle cigarette lighter) bought for 99 cents on clearance; I’ve seen those things priced as high as $14.99. However, she’s coming into town on Dec. 30, so if I can find something cheap on an after-Xmas sale, I may change my plans. I saw a darling tin box with a clock on the lid at Targets; it contained some jaffa cakes which were actually cookies. I bought 3 but took 2 back bc of the price (they were on a shelf with a lower price but apparently it didn’t scan in.) Already opened mine; the jaffa cakes tasted funny so I took them to the office party. If they are priced low enough, I may get/give two more. See above and see below.
Cleaning lady friend loves scented candles and I’m re-making a fancy one from some candles I already have. Using an unused taper in the center for its wick and will pour the melted wax around it in a pretty tea cup once its anchored to same. She would also get the clock and jaffa cakes providing the item is on sale on the 26th.
Boy you are not kidding about the shoestring potatoes! I thought it was just me
Lisa, that’s very thoughtful of your friends, glad to read they appreciated your treats too.
@Fru-gal Lisa – sad to say someone has to be the last one standing in the family (speaking parent/child/sibling). Easier if you have child/sibling/grand-children however. Our direct line group is small but that is okay.
I was raised as an only child and never got married. Even though I would have loved to, Mr. Right never showed up. I’m one of those old-fashioned folks who believe you need to be married before starting a family; hence no kids or grandkids. So, it’s just me. The dog even died this year.
Well let me wish you a belated merry Christmas!! I’m an only child too and can understand the feeling, my father passed 12 years ago and I still see things that would make the perfect gift for him!!
Very impressed with your purchases, well done, gifting useful and needed..
You’re never alone when there are people who love you, that’s family! Take care of yourself, enjoy a restful holiday…….and think about another dog, I lasted 4weeks without my boy before I had to find a new fuzzball. Just consider it xx
I’m trying to think about why reading lists of gifts for people I’ve never met in person is fun! I think it is because of the loving care you (Katy and Lisa so far) put into them. Also, it emphasizes that the winter holidays are about making connections, past and present and future. And how anticipation is part of the fun.
My husband, son, and I gave mostly things we exactly knew the person wanted, (books in particular), and some foods. I bought a giant can of shoe string potatoes and split it into three baggies so we could each have an equal share; it is easy to get carried away while eating those.
The most dramatic present was a flashlight/headlamp I found on clearance at WalMart for my son, as our electricity goes out at least once a year during thunderstorms. It even included batteries, which are not cheap. The excitement was when I put the batteries in and turned it on to test it, blinding myself, subsequently my husband, and my son. We know it works, and we will be able to signal airplanes if necessary.
For supper, husband made chili, and we found we had no beans for it. Yeah! I thought of Lindsey, who does not like beans, either. Chili is better as a leftover and we have some for tomorrow.
Last Saturday, the local Tractor Supply store had a full rack of 12 dozen (144) red poinsettia plants marked a dollar each. Something must have really been messed up in their supply chain. They make good cut flowers, as the red is really leaves, and someone could have done some lovely centerpieces with the flowers in vases instead of the more unwieldly pots.
Particularly loved the corrected college degree, and your recognition that if money is what people need/want most, then money is the perfect gift! Many people give what they want to give, instead of what the recipient wants/ needs to get! You are a truly thoughtful gift giver!
I love reading gift lists! My BF and I started the celebrations at his (french) parents from Sunday to xmas eve. BF’s dad got speakers for his computer and a lazy susan from ikea to use as cheese board. BF’s mum got a TENS electrode thing she wanted to try to reduce her chronic pains. We went to my mum’s today with my two siblings + partners, 6 nieces and nephew and my grandma. We agreed a few years ago to only do a secret santa for adults and that was the BEST decision. I picked my brother’s GF, I got her a voucher for a small french clothing brand, owned by a friend’s friend. The nieces and nephew got some sweets and a voucher for an outing with me, either to the local waterpark or to the local salt mines. My BF got a new peaty whisky he hasn’t tried yet, fingers crossed he likes it! I was spoilt by my brother with a Tolkien book, baking utensils and a big bag of couverture dark chocolate which has the most amazing natural red fruit flavor (my brother works for the biggest chocolate producer in the world, he sells chocolate to local bakeries and chocolate makers).
Your gift of the corrected degree seems priceless to me. Way to go, mom!
My father always said if your parent(s) don’t stand up for you, no one else will. A bit of truth to the number of good advice from he and my mother.
Katy is the most amazing mom!
DD and SIL each received a favorite edible. one each a frivolous gift (DD a book that looked like new from a church book sale), a set of Lego’s (price greatly reduced at Sam’s Club last week), and some money.
I have a few gifts for in-laws that entertain DD often. They are mostly edible or gift cards. This is a one off since we don’t usually see them this time of year.
I love getting edible gifts! And kitchen towels…
1. My parents have everything that they want/need. And they’ve had the great fortune of having 2 wonderful black cats (among many others), the first cat that we had when I was a kid and the last of which passed last year. As such, I’ll donate money in their name to a local rescue that specializes in foster-to-adoption black cats.
2. My MIL got a scarf & bracelet purchased from the locally-owed gift store with partner’s employee discount. And a jar of Bonne Mammam marmalade, which is her favorite, and that I bought from Ocean State during their anniversary sale, so we got 40% back in the form of a store credit.
3. My FIL got a bottle of nice Scotch (so easy to buy for) and single origin black pepper (he LOVES black pepper) and beef jerky, both of which was free swag that I got at a conference.
Niece/nephew: well, they want what they want, but I was able to find some on sale, including chocolate bars purchased from Ocean State with that 40% back from the marmalade…
Friends, my sister, and 30-year-old nephews, we’ve all stopped gifting. It makes the holidays SO much less stressful!
Most of our family has passed away and the two people left live in the neighboring state and do their own thing for Christmas. DH and I got books from our son, who received gift cards, a funny cat calendar, wool socks, chocolate and two nice travel mugs, not one of the expensive name brands but the same as one I’ve used for years. DH and I do not exchange gifts, as it’s our custom to buy something for the house instead. We’re both hard to shop for.
I did a lot of cooking to create a very nice Christmas Eve meal and breakfast today.
I love the digestive biscuits too. I see the kitty is very interested in the holiday banner on the mantle.
1. I am giving my sister a shelf I curb picked. It has a groove on it to place plates. She has a plate collection. It also has some knobs below to hang things from. My husband used the belt sander to smooth the shelf and applied some stain to it. I found the stain at school. It was unopened & part of a project that identified items toxic to children. No cost & it is solid wood.
2. I gave my homemade luminaries to my friends. I gave my Jewish friend one with the star of David that my husband created by drilling holes to make the star. I spray painted it blue & the interior white which are the colors of the Israeli flag. The other friends got a cross or a peace sign on their luminaries. I put votive cups w/candles or battery -operated tea lights inside to make the lights. Some of the candles I found (new in box) whilst trash picking.
3. My husband will get a gift card for a hair cutting place. The cards are 20% off in December. (He refuses to go to the beauty school for a haircut as he says the
students take too long.) I will get a 100$ card for 80$. That should get him 5 haircuts.
4. I gave my niece a bag of toiletries for her family. A 30 oz bottle of lotion, toothpaste, shampoo, female hygiene products, room spray, deodorant, etc. I bought products that had a gender -neutral scent so that her husband could use them too. My niece’s daughter got a plastic headband with Christmas lights (that light up). I found the headband outside a Dollar Gen. One light was loose & it needed a battery. The hot glue gun mended the loose light & hubby put a new button battery in. Good as new. I sent some thrifted blanket sleepers for the
baby.
5. My goddaughter got some generic pull-ups type underpants for her daughter. Not an exciting present but one less thing she has to buy as a single parent. I got the underpants cheaply as the package had been opened. I send her care packages throughout the year & don’t really focus on holiday giving.
My son and his new wife (just married in August) will both be working from home in 2025. I collected office supplies from the Dollar Store including screen cleaner wipes, 2 coffee mugs, stapler and staples, scissors, stick-on notes, a notebook, pens, etc. I arranged everything in a nice box which I already had on hand, tied a big ribbon around it and called it “your work-at-home office in a box.” Total cost was just over $15. They seemed very happy with it. I also gave them a check because they are seriously saving money to make a downpayment on a house.