Things vs. Experiences

by Katy on October 28, 2009 · 30 comments

Shoptimism

Last Sunday’s Parade Magazine included an article titled, “Why Shopping is Good Again” by Lee Eisenberg. I set the insert magazine aside, thinking the information included in such an ad based publication would certainly be an interesting read.

It turns out that Eisenberg has a book to be published next week called, “Shoptimism: Why the American Consumer Will Keep On Buying No Matter What,” so the article actually was more than the that silly recession is behind us, please buy our advertiser’s products that I had expected.

One part of the article that struck me as quite insightful was the subject of how experiences differ from things:

“Over the past decade, social psychologists have conducted numerous studies that find we’re happiest when, instead of shelling out for stuff, we spend money on things that provide social and personal engagement.

Shared experiences, researchers find over and over again, offer greater value than material buys. Pleasant memories don’t fade in the wash or go out of fashion. Just think back on that family trip out West. Sure, everyone returned home with assorted souvenirs that proved you were actually there. But now, what do you remember as the most meaningful part of the trip? Maybe it was the look you saw on your kids’ faces, their eyes wide as saucers, as they peered into infinite chasms that offered up a spectacle beyond anything they’d experienced before—including, even, the first time they fired up their PlayStation.”

My mother’s birthday was last week, and instead of buying her more stuff, I took her out on the town to see a play with dessert afterwards. We started this tradition a few years back when a showing of Sing-Along Sound of Music was in town and I decided that I had found the perfect gift for her. Not only would we get to spend a child-free evening together, (a rarity at the time, as my kids were still small) but the combination of singing and making smart-ass remarks at the screen was right up her alley.  My instinct was right on the money, and we still laugh about how fun that night was.

My mother already owns a lifetime of possessions and there’s nothing I can buy her that she doesn’t already have. Nothing.

I would suggest that you consider the things vs. experiences issue when making your gift giving choices for this year’s holiday season. Not only are you providing an experiential gift, but are not contributing to the excessive clutter that so many of us struggle with. Plus there’s none of that pesky packaging!

Have you received or given experience gifts such as theater or movie tickets; massages or homemade gift certificates in the past? Please share your stories in the comments section below.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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My New Obsession — Unitaskers

by Katy on October 26, 2009 · 10 comments

091014-onion

One of the blogs that I subscribe to is Erin Rooney Doland’s Unclutterer.com. And one of my favorite features is her Unitasker Wednesdays. This weekly column highlights a product that serves a single, often bizarre purpose. Of course:

“All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness.”

One would think that there would be a limit to how many of these products Doland could track down, but no — there seems to be an endless supply.

Here’s a few of my favorites:

The butter cutter

The garbage bowl

The electric paper plane launcher

The onion ring holder

This feature reminds me of the Japanese Chindogu, which are utterly hilarious spoof inventions. Unfortunately, the unclutterer products are real, yet still utterly useless.

Let me tell ya’ there is nothing Non-Consumer about products that serve a single unnecessary purpose.

But they can still entertain.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

 

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Comments From The Secretly Frugal

by Katy on October 25, 2009 · 10 comments

woman-shushing-21

The recent column titled, “Shh . . . it’s the Secretly Frugal” garnered the most amazing and inspiring comments.

Here are just a few, although I would highly recommend reading the entirety. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to share your thoughts and stories in the comments section.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

Shymom:

We are somewhat in the opposite situation. We are frugal to the core and have always been. (With the exception of a brief–educational– stint into too much credit card use in our 20s)

That frugalocity allowed us to buy a small house in a very nice neighborhood where the public schools are awesome and also allowed us to build a large nest egg. We would look to be an average American family to most of the country, but this is a much more expensive area. So here we appear to be relatively poor.

Since our house is smaller and older than many of those in town and the fact that we don’t even try to keep up with the Jones, we are sometimes looked down upon. Usually the rude behavior is by adults who are younger than us and don’t see us as being someone they can use to further themselves. I figure anyone who is rude to us because of how we dress etc. really isn’t very happy with their own lives.

We, however, are very blessed, but just don’t advertise it to the neighbors. What people don’t realize is that my husband retired from his 9 to 5 job 9 years ago at the age of 41 and has only held short-term, part-time jobs since. I work part time at a job I love so much I forget that I get paid to do it. ( I recently turned down a promotion that would have doubled my salary, because I didn’t want the stress. It would have increased my standard of living and lowered my quality of life.)

We are financially independent with enough in savings to live frugally for the rest of our lives. We have time to be with our kids and each other, we often go to concerts and plays, we go on a big trip every couple of years, and participate in rewarding volunteer work in the community.

While we may be poor in merchandise, we are rich in time and that is something you just can’t buy.

Tracy:

My husband and I are 42 and live in metro Detroit. Our cars are paid off, and we buy almost everything at resale and garage sales. (The house will be paid off in 13 years.) Except for building materials, which he buys at Home Depot; Chris does all the home improvements himself, which has saved us tens of thousands in the three years since we bought our 1941 fixer-upper home. He built the kitchen addition and the garage, sided the house, and is about to gut and re-do the bathroom (including using a light fixture I bought for $10 new at a garage sale).

Other people frequently sneer and act creeped out when I talk about buying clothing at resale, and then I gently remind them, “You eat off silverware at restaurants, no? Do you wash it yourself beforehand?”

As I’ve said here before, some of my co-workers have expressed astonishment and disbelief that I drive a 9-YEAR-OLD CAR. They act as if I’m Amish. I’ll be retiring early; they’ll be working for their new stuff!

Marguerite:

I’ve been speaking to my friends and family about the fact that we started to cut down, buy food on sale only, shop at second hand stores and I was surprised to see how many are doing the same thing. I was amazed. This is happening here in Montreal, Canada too. We were a lot affected by the American crisis unfortunately but we’re in a better position here than you guys as our laws for mortgages and loans are more restrictives. We can’t borrow for a mortgage we can’t afford and the free healthcare and medication law helps a lot too. Take care!

Shannon:

This all brings to mind one of my favorite books, The Millionaire Next Door. We too live in a pretty nice neighborhood, nice house, we take care of our things. We shop a lot from thrifts and yard sales, do our own landscaping, and save cash to do updates on our home. What’s funny to me is how people always comment about how lucky we are (like previous poster said) to be able to do improvements on our home—comments are made by friends who run out every week to buy dvd’s, music, go out to dinner, etc. What they don’t get is that we’re making lots of things for ourselves, doing a lot of vegetable gardening, that sort of thing, plus what we are NOT doing: eating out a lot, eating convenience foods, buying consumable things like movies, music and books, shopping for fun. So yeah, at the end of the year when the IRA’s and 529’s are fully funded, if we have something leftover, we make an improvement to the house or take a nice vacation. But again, our friends only see the nice new countertops or the fun vacation.

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When You Fall Off The Wagon

by Katy on October 25, 2009 · 22 comments

The Clothes Line by Helen Allingham

I am mostly a consistent and self-disciplined person. I’ve been with my husband since 1987 and in the same job since 1995. I have been doing The Compact (buy nothing new) since 2007 and hanging my clothes on a clothesline for over two years.

However, I’m far from perfect.

For example, my younger son leaves for a week long outdoor school tomorrow afternoon and the only way I could coordinate getting all his clothes clean, labeled and packed up in time was to crank up the ol’ electric dryer. I had worked the past two days, plus there was a torrential rain storm yesterday. This narrowed my clothesline option to an indoor line that requires a good two day’s time, and can only be properly used during daylight hours. (The room is unfinished and has no lighting.)

So Katy, the clothesline queen put three loads of laundry through the washer and dryer today.

Should I give up my hard won habit of hanging my clothes to dry? After all, It’s hardly worth the effort if I’m becoming inconsistent.

No way dude! Today was very much an electric dryer day, but that doesn’t mean I should give up. I am not perfect, nobody is. There is nothing to be gained by holding myself up to a level of expectation that is destined to fail.

Much of my Non-Consumer life is about doing my best, occasionally splurging on a dinner out, expensive birthday party or even the luxury of electrically dried clothing. But I don’t expect myself to live an austere and limited existance that does not allow for the unexpectedness of life.

I may have fallen off the wagon, but I’ll hoist myself right back up again tomorrow.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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Volunteering — Like Work, but Better!

by Katy on October 23, 2009 · 11 comments

The following is a reprint of a previously published blog. Enjoy!

My family volunteers.

Here, there and especially at the library.

My husband volunteers as the equipment manager for our local recreational non-profit soccer club. This means that he coordinates all soccer equipment for the largest league in the state of Oregon.

It’s a big commitment.

What this really means is:

The only clean and bright room in my basement is filled to the brim with goals, corner posts, soccer balls and other miscellaneous soccer crap. Really though, I don’t mind. I see the big picture.

My 11 and 14-year-old sons volunteer for our library’s summer reading program. They commit to a weekly two hour shift throughout the summer. They sign kids up for the program and pass out prizes and T-shirts.

Not only does this teach them the value of helping others, it also helps them get over their shyness about talking to strangers.

Me? I also volunteer for the summer reading program. Plus I volunteer for the schools, although less than I used to. One year as PTA President cured me of thinking school volunteering could be enjoyable.

Shudder.

The volunteer work we do now is very satisfying. Because we are choosing what we do, it’s better than real work.

When volunteering, we get to choose what we do.

Like reading?

How about the library?

Like soccer?

A job on the soccer board is right up your alley.

Also, you get to meet people who share your own interests.

Many companies, both large and small are supportive of employee volunteerism. Contact your human resources department to see if your workplace has a program to let you volunteer on company time.

Not sure where to volunteer?

Websites such as volunteermatch.com will help you find the perfect volunteer opportunity for you.

When you volunteer you’re not only helping out others, but get that lovely feeling of having done a selfless act.

Where do you volunteer? Tell us about it in the comments section below.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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Sometimes Life is Too Full to Write

by Katy on October 23, 2009 · 4 comments

I was not able to write a blog post today because I worked from 7:00 – 3:30 P.M., helped my son with a school project, went to a play and then dessert with my mother and am only now at home at 12:30 A.M. And yes, I have to be at work at 7:00 A.M. again tomorrow, today.

I could publish a previous blog, but I thought I would share this instead. Life is great, but life is busy.

Have a great Non-Consumer day!

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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Shh . . . It’s The Secretly Frugal

by Katy on October 21, 2009 · 45 comments

Shh

Frugality is everywhere. It’s on TV, in the papers and certainly on the internet.

It’s inescapable.

But that doesn’t mean that frugal folk stand out any more than your average American. Often, frugality is completely behind closed doors.

I come across a wide cross section of society in the course of my job as a hospital nurse. I was caring for an East African woman a few weeks back and sure enough, the subject of frugality came up. I explained the measures my family takes to live inexpensively, and her response was, “Oh, but there are no other Americans that live that way.”

This got me thinking about how I might appear to someone who would simply be taking me at face value.

Because I live in a large house in a desirable neighborhood, to a stranger it would be a safe assumption that we are the Joneses. The outward appearance of our lives would appear as anything other than your typical mall shopping, credit card swiping average American.

Of course, you know better. You know that we cook inexpensive meals from scratch, shop thrift stores for almost all our needs, shy away from pricey gift giving and do almost all of our home improvement projects ourselves.

Of course, there is the opposite situation where people appear to live in luxury yet are actually swimming in debt. This, we expect. This, is covered quite nicely in the media. This, people expect from Americans.

But the secretly frugal are not on people’s radars as much. We exhibit no stereotypical signs of poverty such as run down cars and grubby clothing. We appear to be living the American dream.

No wonder my patient thought there were no frugal Americans.

Do you feel like your frugality is behind closed doors? Are you private about the financial choices that allow you to appear to be living beyond your means? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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Seven Ways to Avoid Buying New Stuff — A Guest Post from Leo Babauta of mnmlist.com

by Katy on October 20, 2009 · 4 comments

The following is a guest post from Leo Babauta of both zenhabits.net and mnmlist.com. It came to my attention this morning, as there’s an imbedded link to The Non-Consumer Advocate, as I am the “woman who decided to buy nothing new.” Cool.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

7 Ways to Avoid Buying New Stuff

As we talked about in the True Cost of Stuff, buying something new requires the extraction and destruction of a lot of resources, not to mention the destruction of our environment in extracting, hauling, manufacturing, packaging and shipping the item.

So if we want to avoid buying new things, what should we do if we need something? After all, there are always times when we feel we need something — not just want or desire, but need it for a real purpose. We might need new clothes, or books, or a bike so we can cut back on using a car.

One woman decided to buy nothing new, which is an interesting solution, but probably not for most people. But while you might not want to put such a drastic moratorium on yourself, here are 7 things you can do before even considering buying a new item.

  1. Reconsider your need. Do you really really need it? Or is it a want? Or can you change things so you don’t need it? This should always be the first thing you do.
  2. Borrow. You might only need it temporarily. Borrow books from friends or the library. Borrow a dress for a special occasion. Borrow a tool for a short-term project. Be sure to lend things in return, when you can.
  3. Ask friends and family. Sometimes people you know might have the item you need, but not need it any longer. Instead of loaning it to you, they might be glad to give it to you. You only need to ask. I’ll often send out an email (or tweet) if I need something that others might have.
  4. Freecycle. Same idea, but using a wider network. There are Freecycle networks in many areas — people who want to give something away, or who need something, post to the list and very often exchanges are made — for free.
  5. Buy used. It’s infinitely better than buying new, because when you buy used you’re not having new resources taken from the earth and manufactured, but rather extending the life of resources that have already been used. Try thrift shops, charity stores, yard or garage sales, Craigslist or Ebay.
  6. Make your own. This won’t work in every case (if I had to make my own clothes people would laugh at me more than they already do), but sometimes you can make something that’s just as good as buying, with inexpensive materials or materials you already have. This works if you’re good with crafts or carpentry especially. It can also be fun to get the family involved.
  7. Go without. I know this seems the same as the first item on the list, but actually it’s a bit different: say you decide you really do need something, but can’t find it anywhere or make it. Should you buy new? Well, maybe you can go without it for awhile, until you do find a used version. Maybe you need it but don’t need it right now. Often things will turn up when you keep your eyes open — someone will happen to mention they have the item, or you’ll see it on Freecycle or Craigslist after a week or two. And sometimes, the need for the item will go away, and you’ll be glad you waited.

Sometimes you might have to buy a new item, even after exhausting all these options. But if you can run through this list first, often you’ll find you didn’t need it new.

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What Non-Consumer Activities Have You Been Up To?

by Katy on October 19, 2009 · 15 comments

the_big_burn

My days are all very different, yet bear striking similarity to one another. Some days I work as a labor and delivery nurse, but mostly I’m at home. I make kid lunches and hustle the boys off to the school bus, (minimize driving) answer e-mails and engage in various Non-Consumer-ey activities. This may low key socializing with a friend, (going for a walk) never ending hanging of laundry, running errands or writing.

Today, for example I:

  • Made school lunches and hustled boys off to the school bus.
  • Arranged to do a talk on Choosing a Non-Consumer life for you and your family, which will be on November 18th at a local elementary school, (details to follow.)
  • Nipped over to a thrift store to find a warm coat for my 11-year-old son’s upcoming outdoor school, (found for 99¢!)
  • Picked up books and movies from the library.
  • Grocery shopped.
  • Stopped at the doctor’s office to pay a bill I had questions about. (It’s next to the Grocery Outlet store.)
  • Laundry.
  • Made dinner, which was tilapia fillets, (super cheap from the Grocery Outlet store,) roasted potatoes and a big salad.
  • Cleaned up from dinner.
  • Helped with homework. (Okay, nagged.)
  • Wrote blog.

Nothing was all that off from the ordinary, yet almost everything I did had a Non-Consumer slant. I batched my errands, found a perfectly good coat for less than the cost of a pair of socks and made a tasty, yet inexpensive meal.

Tomorrow I plan on getting some extra writing done and then hope to sneak out to go hear Timothy Egan do a reading from his new book, The Big Burn in the evening.

So . . . what Non-Consumer activities have you been up to? And is this normal for you, or are you changing your habits? Please share your stories in the comments section below.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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When Pricey Pairs With Cheap-O

by Katy on October 18, 2009 · 5 comments

roller-skates

Last night, we held my 14-year-old son’s birthday party at a Portland Parks and Recreation roller rink. And yes, we booked the whole rink, which set us back a cool $115.

Although the initial outlay of cash put a bit of a tight feeling in my chest, (it is very against type) I do feel like providing an occasional blow-out party is something that I’m happy to do. I don’t want to get through the last few years of this son’s childhood and feel like I was too tight fisted to splurge here and there.

However, having spent the big bucks did not mean I was going to keep up a spendthrifting pace. I made 75 cupcakes from scratch, filled a big insulated container with watery lemonade from concentrate, (I rightly figured the kids would be thirsty from all the skating) brought my own ceramic mugs from home, invested in a few bags of chips and called that good. I didn’t buy party favors or feel the need to put up decorations.

My son put together a play-list on his iPod which we were able to hook into their sound system. The combination of Led Zeppelin, Jimmy Hendrix and Michael Jackson was a big hit and helped set a party mood from the get-go.

The man who worked the rink was fabulous. He kept a tight eye on safety issues, (even providing a fan and a popsicle for the one kid who got overheated) kept the action fresh by providing balls and hockey equipment, and even got a game of dodgeball going at the end.

Alas, I didn’t find any coins on the ground, but I did pull a glass leftovers container, (complete with plastic snap-on lid) from the garbage.

Not bad, not bad at all.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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