The Non-Consumer Advocate Book Club — Simple Prosperity: Finding Real Wealth in a Sustainable Lifestyle — Week Three

by Katy on February 23, 2009 · 7 comments

 

 

Simple Prosperity

 

Welcome to week three of The Non-Consumer Advocate Book Club. We are discussing David Wann’s Simple Prosperity: Finding Real Wealth in a Sustainable Lifestyle.

The first week we discussed the preface, introduction and first chapter.

The second week we discussed the second chapter.

This week we’re discussing the third chapter: 

Personal Growth: Creating a Rich Life Story.

David Wann starts this chapter by writing that:

“Whether deliberately or by default, we each create a personal identity and life story. If we’re lucky, we figure out what we’re good at, what we believe in, and what we want to accomplish, joyfully, while we’re here.”

I think this is very important. Many people live their lives without ever feeling that they’ve found their true calling. Or, they spend their life focusing on the things that make no difference, like a taut stomach and thin thighs, or a perfectly clean and decorated house. All appearance and no substance. 

The subject of scripts is explored as self-identity vs. an identity shaped by media and other external sources:

“From the moment we understand even a few words, we begin to absorb TV stories complete with laugh tracks, parental parables, religious scriptures, mythological epics, and cultural directives — and we try to figure out which story is most like the life we want to create.”

I find this very interesting, so much of who we all are is influenced by the entertainment industry. Even my four-year-old niece who watches no commercial TV carries a Disney Princess lunchbox to preschool. Who would we be without superheroes and princesses?

The idea that the scripts that we follow are tied into the pursuit of wealth, when Wann writes that:

“If the script is strong enough, material possessions and monetary wealth often become lower priorities than do other forms of wealth. This is not to say that people with creative, original scripts prefer to be poor, just that money isn’t their primary goal — it becomes as a by-product of other passionate pursuits.”

I would like to think that I have a creative, original script, yet I do have monetary goals, such as paying my house off early and having the financial freedom to travel. Essentially, I don’t want to worry about how much money I have in the bank.

Do I watch TV? I have one TV program I like to watch, (Lost) but otherwise I only watch DVD’s from the library. This way, I’m able to watch a one-hour program in 42 minutes, thus freeing myself from 18 minutes of advertising. But even when I do catch the commercials, I’m no more likely to buy a brand-new car, fast food, soda pop or prescription medication. I am a little more likely to feel crappy about my less than perfect physique and not so shiny hair.

This chapter profiles a few people that the author has come across in his life.

Patricia, who is described as a, “writer and author” as well as a “coach and mentor for other like-minded people who also want to create authentic, rich life stories.”

Beginning life in an unstable family, Patricia was later raised in an orphanage by nuns who had taken vows of poverty. “Their basic needs were met to support the work which gave them great purpose and meaning to their lives. . . Their love, focus and dedication had a strong influence on me; I learned that a purposeful life can be creative and abundant.”

The idea that poverty and abundance can exist together is not something one ever hears about, yet I feel like my life is prolifically abundant. But it is completely unrelated to any of my material goods. My life is abundant with creative opportunities, fulfilling work, the health of my loved ones and the ability to problem solve around most any obstacle.

Patricia makes the statement that:

“I measure the wealth in my life by the creativity that flows through me; by the depth of connection I have with interesting people; by the time I spend laughing, exploring, and learning.”

Wann also writes about his own history, from working for the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) to freelance writer.  

I needed to find a different path — one that I had chosen myself. . . Then I began to trust my instincts, relying less on what the world wanted and more on what I needed. I learned tat be being less conscious of what other people think could save me lots of money, because it required less than the average person spends on new cars, electronic gadgets, and clothes. Gradually, what I was moving away from became less important from what I was moving toward. I was far less dazed and confused than before, and since confusion often results in consumption, I rarely showed my face at the mall.”

David chose a mid-career change that was less secure, less profitable, yet entirely more rewarding.

After earning about $35,000 one year, Wann’s sister defended his life change to their worried mother:

“Why do people need money? They need it bring up their kids, and Dave’s kids are doing fine — both are college graduates and both are happy. People need shelter, and he owns a great house in a neighborhood he helped design. The need health — he has that; they need something stimulating to do, and his work seems to turn him on.”

I think this argument is very interesting and to the point because it is about needs, not wants. But unlike many of the needs vs. wants arguments I’ve heard, it’s not about a bare-bones existence. It is because Wann is finally getting his needs met that he is happy. Despite a lower income and lack of job security.

Wann explains that:

“I’m not suggesting that to create a good script a person has to leave her or his 9-to-5 job! What I am suggesting is that it’s a relief to know our own minds, and know what we stand for, and what we are willing to stick our necks out for.”

Wann writes about another person he’s come across in his life, Jonathan, whose work as a chaplain has brought him into the homes of many dying people. This brings about these two questions:

“How should we live in the time we have left, and how should we regard death?”

But the question of how to live in the time we have left, is of course not just for those who have a set amount of life left, but for all of us. 

Jonathan goes on to explain that:

When we’re dying, we lose control of our life. The project is over; there’s no longer anything to maintain. Everything we’ve identified with — our careers, our friends, our way of thinking, the way we look — is suddenly stripped bare and we’re left with the true face of who we truly are. We come face to face with ourselves, and that can be uncomfortable.”

I really feel that as we go through our daily lives, it’s important to see the big picture of what matters in the long run. The dishes can wait while I snuggle a son who wants my company. 

Wann writes that he is reminded that:

“The acquisition of material things is often about trying to control life rather than just live it. We surround ourselves with possessions to fortify our lives against uncertainties that lie ahead. It seems apparent that to reduce consumption, we’ll need to be less obsessed with controlling life.” 

This is a sticky one for me. I am, of course all for reducing consumption, yet I have a strong need to control life. I like to have things just-so. This is no more apparent than when I have house guests who are helpful enough to help load the dishwasher. I know they’re trying to help, but they’re doing it all wrong! Would there be a terrible consequence from an ill-loaded dishwasher? Of course not, but it just makes me go out of my skin. I apparently am able to strive for reduced consumption while being a control freak. Go figure?!

When asked what people say about their material goods at the end of their lives, Jonathan tells that:

“They often say that financial wealth gets in the way of family relations, especially at the end. A few days ago, a man I talked to wanted to have deep, meaningful conversations with the family, but couldn’t because they were so focused on the money, asking for advances, and pressuring him to sell the house. The poor guy wanted to talk about more important things, but but they kept coming back to, ‘Mom always said I could have this.’ He told me, ‘I wish they could wait until I die to have all these squabbles.’ “

The man’s material goods got in the way of his meaningful death.

Jonathan  goes on to explain that:

“To live happily and die comfortably, I think we have to give up trying to be in control. . . . But at the same time, we can be mindful and prepared.”

Mindful and prepared. Something we can all be, whether or not we’re dying.

Discussion questions:

  1. Do you feel your life script is influenced by mass media? Are you trying to figure out whether you’re a Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda? 
  2. When watching TV, are you influenced by the commercials? How about while reading the Sunday paper, do you flip through the Target ads to see what’s on sale that week?
  3. Would you be willing to change your career for a more fulfilling job, even if it meant a pay cut?
  4. Do you consider yourself wealthy, even if your bank account is empty?
  5. Have you ever thought about what you would be proud of or regretful about at the end of your life? If so, what?
  6. Do you feel that there is a connection between a high consuming lifestyle and control?

Please feel free to bring up any points not covered in my chapter overview.

Next week: Chapter Four — Mindful Money: More Value From Better Stuff.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

AnnMarie February 23, 2009 at 9:36 am

I had to respond immediately to your advertising question. We have a TiVo so the only ads we see are during football season, and even then DH often watches a little out of synch to miss them. It is such a relief to not watch ads!

But in newspapers…wow, I really noticed a difference about a year ago when I stopped looking at the weekly circulars. First, I stopped going thru the coupons, since we rarely used them. Then I stopped looking at most of the sale ads. I suddenly found that I didn’t *have* to go to Target every single week! Recently, I started doing coupons again, but being careful to only clip those for things we already get. I’ve been looking at the Target ad, but I find I rarely feel like something’s such a great sale we have to do it. A couple others I look at but only to see if specific items we need are on sale.

Sure, I probably miss a few sales of things we do buy regularly. But I think paying full price is worth it to miss the “gottahaves” feelings I used to have every weekend!

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Di February 23, 2009 at 10:12 am

1. Do you feel your life script is influenced by mass media? Are you trying to figure out whether you’re a Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda?
I’ve never really been a follower of trends, I knew many years ago that I was more comfortable making my own way, doing my own thing. Sure there are times I just want to say to hell with it and just follow the crowd but mostly I just soldier on my own path as that is what makes me happiest.

2. When watching TV, are you influenced by the commercials? How about while reading the Sunday paper, do you flip through the Target ads to see what’s on sale that week?
We gave up our newspaper about 3 years ago, and TV in Dec 2007 so nope none of those influence us. If we are in the market to buy something then we research online and make an informed decision.

3. Would you be willing to change your career for a more fulfilling job, even if it meant a pay cut?
Yes and I did. I had the option of continuing on a career path that could lead to management in a boring job I hated, or go for broke and try something new that I enjoyed. I went for it and became pretty successful.

4. Do you consider yourself wealthy, even if your bank account is empty?
I do for lots of reasons. Being happy and healthy is more important to me than wealth.

5. Have you ever thought about what you would be proud of or regretful about at the end of your life? If so, what?
This is something I think about more and more lately. Definitely something I am going to working on more in the future years. I have got a lot to be proud of, and a few regrets (lol) but mostly I am grateful for everything that happens in my life as they shape who I am NOW.

6. Do you feel that there is a connection between a high consuming lifestyle and control?
I think if you have a high consuming lifestyle you don’t have control, someone is controlling you.

Have to say I thoroughly enjoyed Davids book, couldn’t put it down, so much to take in. It really makes you THINK and I love that in books.

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Meg from FruWiki February 23, 2009 at 3:24 pm

1. Do you feel your life script is influenced by mass media? Are you trying to figure out whether you’re a Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda?

The mass media are a lot less influential to me now than ever. Cutting the cable was difficult at first, but I really love the control I have when I choose to watch video online. Sure, there are still some commercials, but I no longer watch video mindlessly all day long and much of what I watch wouldn’t make it onto cable for its subversive, revolutionary messages like “buy less stuff”.

2. When watching TV, are you influenced by the commercials? How about while reading the Sunday paper, do you flip through the Target ads to see what’s on sale that week?

Most commercials really don’t appeal to me, though some have set off some serious food cravings. I think what’s more dangerous is just the lifestyle portrayed on television, including but not limited to deliberate product placements. It’s easy — even for me — to sit and think, “Why can’t I have what they have?!” And while I sometimes feel like I’ll be kicked out of the frugal club for not being coupon & sale crazy, those things always seemed to do exactly what they were intended to do — make me spend more than I would otherwise!

3. Would you be willing to change your career for a more fulfilling job, even if it meant a pay cut?

Well, I guess that is what I’ve done. I’m a SAHW who spends a lot of time helping my husband, figuring out our goals and how to get there, and trying to help others live better by writing online.

4. Do you consider yourself wealthy, even if your bank account is empty?

I don’t know if I’d say wealthy, but definitely fortunate despite so many bad breaks in life. I feel very fortunate to have such a supportive husband and that he’s been able to keep his job so far in this recession — especially since he had such a hard time finding a job after he graduated and we got married in December 2001.

5. Have you ever thought about what you would be proud of or regretful about at the end of your life? If so, what?

I’m proud that I can better see the value in things than I could a few years ago, especially free things. To be able to thoroughly enjoy a night sky on an evening’s walk is a special gift. It’s like being a kid again in a good way. I regret that sometimes I have — and no doubt will again — overlooked such simple pleasures and instead spent money and time on things that weren’t half as enjoyable because I listened to much to others who didn’t really have my interest at heart.

6. Do you feel that there is a connection between a high consuming lifestyle and control?

I think people feel powerful when they buy things and when they show off what they’ve bought. But that’s not control. Often, they’re trading control to credit card companies or the companies they work for in exchange for plastic crap and a huge home to store it all in. Real control is being able to choose your own path and not having to worry about making a certain income in order to pay the credit card minimums. It means always having an FU fund 😀

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fierce urgency of now February 24, 2009 at 3:30 pm

I liked one of the quotes at the beginning of this chapter: “There is nothing noble about being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.” -Hindu Proverb

This really resonated with me. I am making a lot of lifestyle changes right now (not buying anything new, eating meat only once a week, planning for a single child family) and it is really easy to get judgmental or feel superior to people who are still living the old, consumerist way.

I try to think of how I can *inspire* others to tread more lightly on the earth, rather than just guilt-tripping them into it. This blog has definitely been an inspiration to me — Katy, you make living simply seem enjoyable and fun, rather than a chore 🙂

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Mandy February 24, 2009 at 9:26 pm

1. Do you feel your life script is influenced by mass media? Are you trying to figure out whether you’re a Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda? – Yes. I am influenced by mass media in many ways. I feel it would be very hard for most people to say no. By the way, I am a Carrie.

2. When watching TV, are you influenced by the commercials? How about while reading the Sunday paper, do you flip through the Target ads to see what’s on sale that week? – I window shop at my favorite stores online. However, I rarely make purchases. The commercials I don’t feel very influenced by. Most of them are for drugs that I don’t care to take, unnecessary cleaning supplies, and cell phone ads (I am still using my “ancient” cell phone from 2005).

3. Would you be willing to change your career for a more fulfilling job, even if it meant a pay cut? – Most certainly. I am a graduate student, so my career path is still TBD. But I am quite confident that if it meant happiness, I would take it.

4. Do you consider yourself wealthy, even if your bank account is empty? – Not always. It’s very hard sometimes to look past the stress of having very little money to realize how wonderful your life is. I have become a pro at it though, and lately I’ve been telling people that I am really happy with where my life is going.

5. Have you ever thought about what you would be proud of or regretful about at the end of your life? If so, what? – I want to look back at my life and known that I had a good time with my husband and kids. I want them to always feel loved and supported.

6. Do you feel that there is a connection between a high consuming lifestyle and control? – Perhaps. If anything, it’s image control. In order to appear that you have your life in control you certainly may have to dress a certain way or have certain things.

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Pennie February 24, 2009 at 9:46 pm

I do not feel scripted by mass media because I choose not to expose myself to it. I do receive a daily paper, which I know is old-fashioned, but mostly use it for the coupons, recipes and interesting articles about people and places. I don’t watch any TV or many movies.

I’ve always chosen to work at nursing jobs that gave me extreme flexibility–to be home for my kids after school when they were young, to help my husband during the week when he was starting a business, and later, for myself, so that I had time to also volunteer and enjoy my hobbies. There has been a monetary price for this choice, however, as it kept me on the fringes and far removed from management or fast-track opportunities that some of my colleagues were able to pursue. I don’t regret it, but it did make a direct difference in the amount of money I’ve been able to earn over my working years.

Thanks to the simplicity lifestyle, I’ve been able to feel and live richly all of my life, even though I am not wealthy in the ways of the American Dream.

At nearly 50 years old, contemplations about end of life are common for me. I am most proud of my children–the work, love and dedication that I have invested in them. They are wonderful people and I consider them my life’s best work. I am least proud of my inability to accept my mother-in-law…her alcoholism has left lasting marks on my husband that I have to live with every day, and her poor lifestyle choices are a painful reminder to me of all of the ways in which I try to be most unlike her. She has done some nice things for me, like teach me to preserve food, and given me expensive gifts, but I consider it a personal failure that after 30+years I just can’t like her.

I don’t know if there is a link between a high- consuming lifestyle and control. It seems to me that a complete lack of control is what would lead to spending beyond one’s means or spending simply to keep up with someone else.

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rekindled February 28, 2009 at 10:52 am

My favourite quote on this subject is by Douglas Adams: “This planet has … a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”

I know when I was growing up, my life script was influenced a lot by mass media. I felt that I was supposed to work towards a life path that would make me the most money, and that was the ultimate aim. It wasn’t just mass media though, I got this message from family, friends, school, everywhere! So I chose a degree course that I thought was ‘sensible’, because it would open up a lot of jobs (one of the very few things I wish I could change from my life). But once I graduated, it didn’t take me long to realise that I wasn’t really happy in a job that was effectively just pushing pieces of paper around to make someone else rich.

Now I have rewritten my life script, and am working in a career where I get to genuinely help people. Yes, I have taken a significant pay cut to do this, but the feeling of satisfaction I get is worth more than money. I don’t understand why most people seem happy to spend most of their waking hours doing something they don’t really care about just to earn some money. A friend of mine was in this situation and has just been made redundant – he is really happy about it because it means he can finally figure out what he really wants to do with his life!

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