The Perceived Obsolescence of Everything
by Katy on May 27, 2025 · 84 comments
Walking into a thrift store is a glimpse into the shopping patterns of American consumers. Whether it’s what people refuse from their parents, poorly constructed fast fashion, outdated furniture, out of style home decor or simply the stuff that was exciting to buy, but didn’t hold our interest.
It’s a lesson in perceived obsolescence, which is described as “A consumer’s belief that a product is outdated or unusable, even if it’s still functional.”
Let’s use big-grommet curtains as an example. These hit the home decor world by storm in the early 2000’s, likely due to the popularity of the homogenized HGTV style. They were the height of home decor sophistication, but like all things that rapidly come into fashion, they quickly fell out of style.
You see them in every Goodwill, at least here in the Pacific Northwest. Did they lose functionality? No. Was there a problem with their safety? No. American consumers were convinced en masse that they were a time stamp from an unfashionable era; and thus, no longer acceptable.
Convinced by people that make zero dollars when we’re content with what we already own.
Is this a statement about curtains? Yes, but also no. Designers of consumer goods make their money from us viewing our belongings as having the ability to go embarrassingly out of style. You see it with constantly changing hem lines, shoe heels, couch arms, light fixtures, electronics, the width of our pant legs and apparently — curtains!
Let’s take a moment to recognize what it took to grow the cotton/extract the petroleum for the fabric, ship it to a factory, sew the curtains, package them up and transport them to the store. Only for designers to later convince us that our perfectly good curtains are now out of style. It took me all of ten seconds to find multiple articles informing their readers how grommet curtains are *gasp* “outdated.”
My example of this specific style of curtains is a place holder for any number of things. If we can be convinced to buy something, then we can be convinced to unnecessarily replace it.
Once we open our eyes to the concept of perceived obsolescence, we become better armed to resist marketers and people who have something to gain from our needless discontent.
My point? Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.
Katy Wolk-Stanley
Click HERE to follow The Non-Consumer Advocate on Instagram.
Click HERE to join The Non-Consumer Advocate Facebook group.
Like this post? Then please share it with your friends!
Like this:
Like Loading...
{ 84 comments… read them below or add one }
It really is such a huge waste of resources to be replacing perfectly functional items. But also shame on these industries for promoting this mindset.
Now I’m wondering how to repurpose these curtains when I’m set for curtains.
Same here in Virginia. I see very nice grommet curtains frequently at the thrift stores here.
I haven’t had curtains on windows since 1976. Mini blinds, shutters and wooden mini blinds are my choices. I don’t even have valences. Easier to maintain
You neglected to mention a certain political party enabled the greed (tax code/anti-union too) that uses slave labor all along the supply/production line.
That may be the upside of the tax increase on goods – less crap being produced, shipped, purchased, and tossed out/donated.
Horrified by current Labubu craze. Expect to see an avalanche of real and so-called ‘fake’ Labubus in the thrift shops in about 18 months’ time.
I know it’s not the point of your piece, but I don’t like curtains of any kind – dust collectors. We have vertical blinds, which I am also informed are outdated. They will still be hanging when they are in style again and I can enjoy being cool for a year or two until some nameless designer again decides they are out.
Mand01, I had to look up Labubu. I am behind the times and happy to be so, but I like knowing what’s out there.
I looked them up too. lol
Vertical blinds are the worst dust collectors that exist.
I had never heard of them and had to look them up. All I have to say is that, IMHO at least some of the Beanie Babies were cute.(?)
I, too, had to look up what Labubus are. Grown ass adults are walking into professional meetings with these things clipped to their briefcases and purses, is that right?
Love this post, Katy. I never liked grommet curtains so I was never “in” but at least now I’m not “out”!! I’m never drawn to fads.
Count me in as having to google Labubu! Earlier today I saw a post of an influencer carrying an enormous Chanel bag with at least 6 Labubus on it. I couldn’t decide which was worse, the bag, or the ugly things hanging off of it. People will literally buy anything.
lol I too had to google Labubu. Which led me to wonder how many troll dolls from the 60s were occupying landfill space. They were the craze of my youth.
In my neighborhood many homes leave their windows bare. I have the 2″ blinds in my windows. Drapes in my opinion are dust magnets. Blinds don’t go out of style so quickly. I like some privacy where windows are concerned but no drapes, curtains, etc. Plantation shutters are nice too.
If you found long grommet curtains one could likely cut the grommet part off and make a rod pocket for a curtain rod. I took a long curtain, folded in half and draped it over the curtain rod to hide the hardware for the blinds in my condo. It looks light & airy & does not drag the floor to gather dust. (I repurposed the curtain I took down. It is horizontal now instead of vertical.)
I used a table cloth draped over the curtain rod in my living room. Looks fine.
After reading this I turned around to look at my “out of date” big grommet curtains. I bought them at a time when I needed new curtains (cats swinging on the old curtains and claw damage) I was looking for off white heavy linen curtains and they had big grommets. They still serve my purpose and look good. It’s sad how many people would toss them because they’re not on trend. I’m sure I will have these until there is too much damage for me to overlook 😀
Same … I didn’t know they were on trend when I bought mine for $9 at Lowe’s hardware store. And I didn’t know they were out of style now. Oh well. They wash up fine and still match so… I’ll worry about something related to our country’s future instead of being out of style.
Off to go look up labubus
I had some of those. They came with the house when I bought it and when I sold the house they stayed with the house. They were very easy to slip on and off the curtain rods for cleaning. If someone didn’t like the look you could easily cut the three inches off the top that has grommets hem it and put back on the rods in a fastening style you liked. They would just be a little shorter but still functional.
I have friends who are renovating an old house to be their retirement home. I kind of cringe when they decorate using designs that are already dated and awful, like a barn door on the Victorian bathroom, a vessel sink, and black hardware. Why can’t people choose timeless designs that are more appropriate to many styles of house and also not immediately screaming 2021 (in their case). I haven’t said much about the place except saying I’m happy to help with the design, while cringing at their choices.
Moral: don’t buy trendy stuff unless you intend to keep it for a long time. But figure out what is trendy and what is classic first. I still use curtains I sewed myself in 1995 because they’re classic and beautiful. No waste here. No tacky vessel sinks either.
When I’m on trend, it’s accidental, I find myself unconsciously steering away from “trendy” , because it’s so boringly, cookie cutter, the same everywhere!
Rae Dunn would like a word with you.
I had to look up Rae Dunn, too! Although that just underscores the issue of passing fads. Good commentary, Katy, as always.
I am among those heathens who do not care about how dated things are. I like barn doors inside, pocket doors on closets, and comfortable matters more than anything else to me.
Barn doors on a Victorian house? Really? It’s not a damn barn. Have some respect.
@Rose – in all walks and things of life, we all have our purist moments (or would that be quirks?). I am a “you don’t put cheese on French Fries!”. No white either. None of this “WE are pregnant (no you we are not) as well as toes hanging over the ends of shoes. Plenty of celebrities commit this major sin in my book – buy shoes that fit.
And be grateful @Rose that friends did not tear down the Victorian and put in its place a crappy built structure.
@Selena – what? Do you not love poutine? That so Canadian gift to the “International World of French Fries”: squeaky cheese and gravy on ‘chips’ (as we call them here). Super Yum.
I’m not even a poutine purist – put butter chicken on chips and you had me at hello….
To each their own, I guess. but you ARE missing out, IMHO. 😉
In college I used to go to a restaurant run by the Amish that served giant onion rings and you could then add melted cheese. How I miss that place.
Rose, have you ever heard of the scrape vs anti-scrape argument? It comes from historic preservation. On one side, people believe that if a house/building was constructed in a certain era (let’s say the 1950s-1960s) then all the architectural changes–and even furniture–should be in keeping with that same era. So midcentury furniture, atomic light fixtures, etc. Anti-scrape posits that people’s lives aren’t static, so why should our homes have to reflect only one time period? I first heard of the distinction when I was in grad school and historic preservation was one of my minor fields. While it might seem more harmonious to have all the fixtures in a home match the same era in which it was built, I think mixing and matching can be really interesting. In my home (built in 1955), we have a mix of actual midcentury furniture. reproduction MCM, Shaker, and Mission. Very different eras, but all are basically clean-lined. But we also have stuff that’s very different like an Arts & Crafts-style stained glass lamp (that I love) and a Persian rug that matches nothing but belonged to my great grandparents. So, yeah a barn door in a Victorian house might not “match” but it sounds like you wouldn’t necessarily like a barn door anywhere but a barn. And if your friends decide they hate it, then you can always say “I wondered what the heck you were thinking!”
”Why can’t people choose timeless designs that are more appropriate to many styles of house”
Hmm…. because it’s not your house and they don’t make their decisions (a.k.a their tastes) to suit you or anyone else? Weird comment.
But if that is the style they like, why shouldn’t they use it?
They can certainly decorate in any style they want.
I think they don’t know what would look good and are just choosing random things.
Also please note that I am advocating the opposite of trendy. That was the whole point of this post.
If you cut off those grommets and remove the lining, those panels have a lot of fabric yardage for quilts.
I have been seeing a lot of those in the thrift store but did not realize they’d gone out of style. The sound those grommets make sliding on a metal curtain rod sets my teeth on edge, so I never bought them. We have blinds with nice valances that I sewed.
Uhhhh, these types are out of fashion? Asking for a friend……
This made me laugh.
My friend is still wearing brightly patterned leggings that most people wouldn’t be caught dead in.
WOW! This really hit for me. It makes me crazy when I look at magazines or design sites and they talk about a kitchen being “outdated”– to me outdated would mean maybe a pump instead of a faucet and a wood cookstove, I don’t know. The wrong color counters, and/or wrong wood finish on cabinets, come on.
A lot of people make a lot of money convincing us that this makes sense.
And meanwhile, as you say, doing the planet no good, and wasting a lot of time and energy that could be used to help people.
Thanks for this one Katy. This is a Noteworthy Non Consumer Mini-Essay!
Oh please. If you really mean it, I have a chocolate brown fridge and a harvest gold range to sell you.
Why is it so many people equate thrifty/nonconsumer with “any old crap will do because we’re not materialistic!!!” Flex away. BTW the chocolate brown fridge will consume about 2x the electricity of one not built during the Nixon Administration.
That was unnecessary. But OK, this isn’t worth it. I’m out of here.
@Cynthia – she’s have a moment. For some eclectic is okay. I figure my house and if I like it (and it meets the need, not want), I’m okay. Then again I admit to being irked that Scarlett wore the wrong color dress in the opening of the movie Gone with the Wind.
most people here are moderate and friendly, don’t give your energy to those who like to stir the pot…
Perhaps Katy can simply block her…?
Isa– Those are wise words. Thank you for the reminder!
I meant to say “I’m out of here” meaning that conversation. I love Katy’s blog!
Because my honest opinion is “stirring the pot.” Sure thing.
My opinion which matches the whole point of the blog post.
Actually, I love the 1970s colors. I would totally have a chocolate brown fridge, though I wouldn’t want an inefficient one from the 1970s.
I bought a beautiful set of IKEA curtains at the thrift store and when I got them home, I realized they were a little bit short. These are tab top, by the way, not grommets. I was looking at them this morning, and I realized that they have a 10 inch deep hem. I can spend the time to pick out that deep hem and press the fabric, and these will actually fit perfectly. Someone’s loss is my gain.
If you want to change the tab tops into regular curtains, just fold the tabs down and sew them to the tops of the curtains. (On the underside). Run the curtain rods through the resulting “tunnels”.
Saw that on the internet.
My home decor is from the 2000’s.. I LIKE Tuscan style,old world colors and warmth, and have felt no need to redo or repaint.. I love my home mostly as it is. We bought it that way..the guy we bought from had a flair for decorating and I like most of what he left behind.Still.
I have a pile of everyday jeans mostly purchased from consignment stores, in every style! Skinny jeans,wide leg jeans, straight leg jeans, and elastic pull up ones too..I wear them all who cares what is in “fashion” this week.
I have an old SE I phone that I. will use until it dies for real. I don’t need new “features. I don’t even take many photos!
I drive a 2017 car that might just be my last car, as we keep ours for years! !! It replaced my 16 year old vehicle.
I don’t watch any decorating shows or fashion shows and I don’t envy my neighbors or others. OR their likely debt.
Just watch a few episodes of MAD MEN to review how you/we re manipulated into thinking we “NEED STUFF.”
I even still have a pink/purple sweater or two from the 80’s that I still ike..my family won’t let me wear them out of the house,though…..
@Madeline – do *not* do any financial transactions on that SE (I loved my SE). I too have taken some grief for late 1970s/early 1980s attire (particularly a pair of shoes).
Hey! I could use 3 more pair of those curtains, but they have to be bright white and have silver grommets to match my other ones. The ones I bought like that from Amazon were advertised as “thermal” to keep the heat out in the summer and the heat in during the winter. They needed to be white because we live a 1968 mobile home with dark paneling EVERYWHERE. (Can you say “cave?” The ones I got aren’t super heavy, but they do the job fairly effectively and make it a little brighter in “the cave.”
I’m still wearing clothes I bought back as far as 2010. The t-shirt and shorts I wear to bed have more holes in them than a block of swiss cheese, but they’re good enough to sleep in. I did lose about 65 lb when I first got my CGM almost 2 years ago and I did have to buy a few smaller articles of clothing. I want to maintain my weight for at least a year before I work on losing more so I’m not doing the “yo-yo” thinnh.
Bought yarn I needed to make an afghan to enter in 3 local fairs at a 50% discount. Made the afghan. Made the mistake of showing my psychologist a picture. She BOUGHT IT (and at a fair price, too!) Bought more yarn, only 30% off, to start over for the fair. Same color scheme as the one I sold (shades of blue, purple and seafoam green – think “ocean”) as I have some yarn left from the first one. The profit (quite a bit) is going into my “tattoo fund.” Frugal? No. Therapeutic? Yes. I deal with a lot of depression, anxiety, feeling worthless and unappreciated, etc. We have a local tv station weatherman who does a lot of the radio clips for the local radio stations. At some point in the forecast, he will say, “It’s a great (or awesome, or fantastic) day to be alive! The rest, my friend, is up to you. Make it a good day!” I need that positive affirmation. I am going to get that tattooed on my arm and substitute “my friend” with my name so I take “ownership” of it. I have FOREVER gone without using any money I receive as gifts to pay bills or purchase necessities. Long story short, while I didn’t wan̈t to cotmmit suicide, I just was so overwhelmed that I needed to turn the outside world off for a while, I overdosed on sleeping pills and ended up in in-patient psychiatry for a week. Am I ashamed? Yes. Did I know it was wrong? YES – I had a cousin who committed suicide in the mid-80’s. Was it premeditated? No. Very impromptu. Self-care is important and I haven’t cared for myself in FOREVER. While it’s not fugal monitarily, it.is very fruFor once, in the last 30 years, I am going to do sonething for ME.
It posted before I was ready.
That end part was supposed to read that a tattoo may not be monitarily frugal, it is very frugal compared to other things I would prefer to do, but the memory wouldn’t last as long. This will be a constant reminder.
Melissa, your tattoo is genius. You take care.
@Melissa N, we’re glad you are here and sharing both your ups and your downs. That is one of the great gifts of Katy’s blog – people can be real, here.
I think your ‘tattoo fund’ idea is brilliant. Gives you something to work toward.
I always thought that once I had a bit of money, other money was attracted to it – so I tend to create random (free) savings accounts where I put what I call “found money”. You know, refunds or birthday gifts or maybe when someone gives me cash when I pay the bill with my visa – all of those dribbles are added.
You are going to have that lovely tattoo in no time, as you keep on making beauty with your hands.
This is why I generally don’t do curtains, and the ones I have were originally tablecloths or sheets or thrifted yardage. It drives my mother-in-law crazy!
I’ll add that my trick to keep myself from getting too many trendy decor ideas into my subconscious, is to follow foreign design accounts on Instagram. The trends really are a bit different and much less “disposable” looking. Also, I never shop at Home Goods or Marshall’s. I think that must be where people bought all the horrible word art that’s now hitting the thrift store shelves. I guess those poor people needed a sign to tell them that FAMILY lives here and the kitchen is where we EAT. Silly!
Yes, the signs will be the next goodwill find
@Li, you have just given me an idea – I am wanting some ‘boards’ for self-made signs around the old farmhouse. I bet I can get some word-art for less than the cost of a board – and it will come with pre-installed hanger fittings! A bit of kilz to cover the original art and then I can go wild with my own vision.
I’ve got that type of curtain in my living room from probably around 2007? And they’re going strong. I think the lining will probably give out first, but we’ll see. Anyway, happy to report no negative outcomes so far from using outdated curtains . I do scour the linens section at thrift stores to reuse fabrics, but it’s hard to find materials other than polyester.
So much waste. Buying used is the way to go. The advantages of being frugal. I don’t care about trends and I’m happy buying other people’s cast offs. My grommet curtains are still hanging in my dining room.
I love the linen black out grommet curtains in my bedroom. I can open them very wide which is needed on cloudy Portland days. I’ll happily stay out of style in this way. However, I did just donate my last pair of skinny jeans – just can’t wear those anymore!
Amy Liz, I have blackout curtains with grommets in my bedroom too. I love them because they are easy to slide open and close. I too can’t stand skinny jeans. Yikes, so hard to get off.
Hi Katy-Thank you for the reminder about perceived obsolescence which, for me, ties into our American culture of hyper-consumerism. I just got back from a trip to Turkey. Do you know what I NEVER saw? Storage units. Imaging a culture that doesn’t need extra storage for their mostly non-essential things. That’s true of most of the world-except our part. I have those curtains with big grommets and have no plans to replace them because they do the same job as the curtains with little grommets. Your blog reminds me that I can use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without. And the world continues to turn…
A lot of homeless and underhoused people have storage units hoping one day to have a home again to hold themselves and their things.
Hi Katy-Thank you for the reminder about perceived obsolescence which, for me, ties into our American culture of hyper-consumerism. I just got back from a trip to Turkey. Do you know what I NEVER saw? Storage units. Imagine a culture that doesn’t need extra storage for their mostly non-essential things. That’s true of most of the world-except our part. I have those curtains with big grommets and have no plans to replace them because they do the same job as the curtains with little grommets. Your blog reminds me that I can use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without. And the world continues to turn…
Katy, I used to talk to my students about these things. I would ask them if it was really worth it to have afterschool jobs so they could wear the latest brand names. . We had some great discussions, and some of them went on to do amazing things with their lives.
Thank you for your columns and reminding us that we don’t have to be wasteful and that we can choose not to be followers.
IIRC, when I took an Intro. to Advertising/Public Relations course in college, the “Father of Advertising” was quoted as saying something to the effect that to be successful, advertisers must make the consumer feel inadequate so that he will buy__________ [whatever product they are advertising]. The same is true of public relations practitioners. A case study in our course was that in the 19th Century, people thought bacon was something inedible, and the pork producers didn’t want to just throw it away. They wanted to make a profit from bacon, and needed help in doing this. So a campaign was launched to promote bacon as being part of a healthy breakfast, and it implied that if mothers/housewives didn’t serve a hot breakfast featuring bacon, they were somehow not taking care of their families. Now, today, any dietician would tell you that bacon is so bad for you that it is considered a fat, not a protein, on the diabetic food exchange. But women back then were made to feel inadequate if they didn’t serve up this supposedly “healthy” meat.
How many other items have we been brainwashed to think we “need”? Uh-huh, it’s just as Katy says!
Fru-gal Lisa– that bacon story is amazing! The ad folks didn’t mean to do us any favors (and I guess they didn’t given the health costs) but how could anyone not think bacon is delicious?
On a related note, though separate from the advertising saga: I lived in Provincetown for many years a long time ago. Many fishermen and families refused to eat lobster, which they said would be like eating an “insect”. Scallops were considered “poverty food”, what you ate when you couldn’t get anything else. Hard times meant scallops for supper–again! And in the very old days tuna was referred to as “horse mackerel” and considered only fit to feed to animals.
And of course, going way back: “twas a brave man that first ate an oyster.”
The bacon story is a myth, by the way.
We spend our summers in the house I grew up in. Furniture and home both handed down from my parents. The harvest gold refrigerator and oven are still in daily use. I know I can’t save everything from the landfills, but I’ll keep on doing my frugal best!!
Donna– good for you! I’m so old I remember when harvest gold arrived as the welcomed relief to endless avocado! (the trouble with avocado is that it doesn’t go with anything except more avocado, and pretty soon your house would be nothing but that. Curtains, walls, other appliances… and when you get into tile and carpets you’re stuck for a very long time.)
Wait– You’re saying that harvest gold goes with things other than more harvest gold? The walls of my bathroom are harvest gold tiles and, aside from white/cream/browns, I haven’t found anything to blend with them.
I found one possibility of navy, but I am not going to have lint-attracting navy towels.
But note that however tempting, I have not ripped out or painted the tiles, just because I don’t like them.
Heidi Louise, check out the color combo in this shower curtain. The gold goes really well with the blue-green color. Maybe some towels, art or accessories containing this blue-green color would help spice up your bathroom.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1710154842/mid-century-modern-shower-curtain
Thank you, MB! My sister would love that.
Some other ones in that “store” are more to my taste, and certainly would add more color possibilities. I appreciate you prompting me to keep looking.
Cynthia, I remember the avocado green phase as well. So glad that they didn’t go with that color scheme. A house only The Grinch could love!!
I think part of the problem is we like to live with colors we would feel comfortable wearing. Olive, avocado, and gold are not flattering to as many skin tones.
I had no idea these curtains had gone out of style! Of course, I also didn’t know what a Brazilian wax was until about a year ago… lol. I thought it was a hair product…. Uhmmmm no!
@Cindy in the South …. well, technically, a Brazilian was is a hair (removal) product. as well as the result of said product. Ouch.
This article was so well-written, Katy. I am glad I never real fell into the line of thinking that my home decor has to keep up with trends. Now that I’m in my 60s I care even less about being trendy.
Excellent post Katie! Have you considered writing a book?
@Deb: Great idea. I’m sure this blog has enough essay-type posts that could be collected and organized to make a book without needing to add anything (is it non-consumer to re-use writings? please say yes!)
The NonConsumer Gazette, a la Amy D! I’d love to have that on my shelf.
I’ve never felt the need to constantly fuss with my furnishings. I like what I like and use it for years. Most of our furniture is family pieces and/or antiques so it’s sort of timeless, imo.
Hopefully people visit to see me and not judge my home. My friends aren’t that shallow.
This sort of mindset keeps people broke and discontent!
It makes me shake my head that people who wouldn’t set foot on a farm, decorate in a “farm house style”. It’s like buying cool whip and passing it off as heavy cream. So fake!!!
‘Happy’ to know that most of my curtains are outdated then! Also, I really (really!) don’t give a hoot! Can you imagine living for all those ”rules’ and trend? Must be exhausting. And very expensive.
Tik-Tok has so called ‘interior designers’ that love to make videos of the “Top 10 Things You Own That Are No Longer In Style”. Or Realtors telling you the reasons why your decor is why your house isn’t selling . Why? So you can feel bad about your decor and hire them to redo it? If my house isn’t selling because of decor, that is bad on you for not making the buyers see past the paint color or the tchotchkes of the seller. So irritating, let people like what they like! Why would you purchase something that you don’t like because someone on the internet or TV told you to? Grrrr…
I try not to be influenced and I don’t buy stuff I don’t like, no matter the fashion/trend. But…I do think that there are people (I’m one) who are negatively or positively affected by their surroundings/decor, so to be frugal, we really have to think ahead and have very clear ideas about what we need, so that we can get it (or close to it) when it appears.
I slept in a bedroom for over a year without curtains or any blinds because I couldn’t (in shops or charity shops) find anything that I both liked and could afford. And looking at horrible (to me) fabric would be a constant irritant and a bit depressing. Better to have bare windows.
I finally found an excellent eBay seller who buys fancy (think lined and interlined) curtains being replaced because of decor changes by people with more money than me. A pair I loved, which were more expensive than shop bought ones of crappy quality, but way cheaper than if I had them made, came up for sale. Those curtains have gone through three houses with me. In this house, I split each curtain into a pair, because they were so wide. Two bedrooms with amazing, heavy and beautiful curtains, which still make me smile.
It matters to me.
Clothes: don’t care any more. I’ve got boots that are 28 years old. I look after them and they still work! Same with other stuff. So, subject to your own individual choices and financial resources, look carefully for the stuff you need and, if it really matters to you (because it genuinely affects you, and it’s not just being an airhead about trends), make your home feel the way you want it to feel. As frugally as you can!
I read a designer who runs one of the oldest interior design firms in Britain saying that, when she designs someone’s home, she does it so that they won’t want or need to redecorate, refurnish or fiddle for at least 20 years. Her own home she wants to have for the next 30 years, unchanged. Great philosophy for everyone.
Don’t know who that designer is–but I love her!