This blog post first appeared over at ClarkHoward.com.
When I was growing up, our next-door-neighbor was a single mom who supported herself as a freelance writer. Needless to say, she wasn’t exactly burdened with the intricacies of where to invest her big fat paychecks. One thing she used to say was:
“I’m not poor, I’m just broke.”
I remember being so confused by this statement. Weren’t poor and broke the same thing?! I just didn’t get it. I’m long past my childhood years, but I’m still puzzling out what it means to be broke vs. poor.
To describe oneself as poor is to accept an external definition of oneself, to believe that there’s a distinction between the classes, and you’re simply stuck at the bottom. It’s who you are and there’s no way out. It’s a long term situation and (this is important here) your financial identity is labeled by others.
To be broke may mean that you have no money, but it’s a temporary situation. You’re just one good paycheck away from financial stability. Perhaps your bank account is empty today, but flush times are just around the corner. It’s a short term period and importantly, it’s self defined.
But is there an actual difference between poor and broke?
Yes and no. Poverty is a valid and real existence for billions of people the world over, but for many Americans, we’re just broke. We have the opportunity to take on a second job, hold a garage sale or take a focused look at how we’re spending our money. Chances are we can figure out at least a couple ways to spend less and earn more.
The problem with the word poor is how negative it sounds. We all know people who choose to live beyond their means in order to avoid an appearance of poverty. Leasing cars they can’t afford, buying stuff on credit cards and even renting furniture to paste together a false image of financial comfort. By accepting that we’re broke instead of poor, it’s easier to temporarily drive a paid-for beater, wear thrift shop clothing and decorate our homes with upcycled castoffs and hand me downs. All the while living within our means and setting money aside for big picture goals.
Whether you choose to label yourself as broke or poor, what really matters is taking a deliberate role in your own money matters. Investigating the smartest ways to be financially responsible, on both the spending and earning sides so that you can move past either label. So the next time you find yourself bemoaning your finances, take a note from my old neighbor and tell yourself “I’m not poor, I’m just broke.”
{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
As a kid growing up I knew our family had “no money” for things like movies or a coke, or extra shoes or clothes. The family did have money for piano lessons and the doctor bills. We had paintings on the walls, embroidered table linens, books, music, plenty of food from the garden and the cow and chickens……two acres. Imagine my surprise in reading in a magazine when I was in college (I lived at home) that our family of six was right on the “poverty line”. I think our big advantage was that we did own our house, sub-standard as it was. We kids had jobs as soon as we could and paid for own clothes, etc. Mother really knew how to manage. Now I realize that I was not poor, but “rich”.
I never realized we were poor because my mom was so creative. We didn’t take extravagant vacations but we would ride over to the local lake and have a picnic all day and swim with friends in the summer. She tells me of times that we ate spaghetti all week because that was all we had. I don’t even remember that. I remember her closing off most of the house by putting blankets over the doorways in all the rooms except for the one that had the wood burning heater in it and we cooked on that. We all slept on a mattress on the floor.That was fun times for me as a child. I never considered it hardship. We always had what we needed, looking back I wonder what all my mother did without that she didn’t tell me about.
I guess I should have said broke not poor, lol!
Your mother sounds like an amazing and resourceful woman!
Great article, Katie. And so true!
Thank you!
I think a lot of the distinction does have to do with hope. Right out of college and making just over minimum wage, I never doubted for a second that my circumstances would improve. I had hope that things would just keep getting better. I also had the knowledge that, should something catastrophic happen, my parents would always help. I think that hope and that safety net allowed me to feel broke, while never feeling poor.
This blog reminds me of Dolly Parton’s “Coat of Many Colors” that says, “One is only poor only if they choose to be”. It’s all in how we see ourselves and our situations.
There have been plenty of times over the years when we were broke, but I’ve never once felt poor.
As I’ve heard before: If you woke up with fresh running water this morning, you’re better off than most in the world.
That song always makes me cry.
Me too, Katy. Sad, but beautiful.
I hope you got to watch the movie “Coat of many Colors”about Dolly Parton’s childhood that was on during the holidays. It was truly a great movie!
I did Jennifer! Glad you watched it, too. It really was a good movie! 🙂
Hmm… I’m not sure I’m able to differienciate between poor and broke from a financial standpoint. To me they both mean a lack of money. That said, “broke” evoques only “lack of money”, but “poor” evoques lacks in many areas (socially, intellectually, emotionally, etc), so I guess I relate to what you are saying (the negative connotation of the word “poor”).
But, if someone can live within their means and then set aside money for bigger things, in my views they are neither poor or broke, but most likely average in salary and smart/frugal about finances To me, being poor/broke means living paycheck by paycheck, worrying about being able to pay for necessities, and not having any extra at the end of the month , unfortunately.
I think truly poor people don’t have enough to get through the month, and no realistic hope of doing better. Now I admit my viewpoint is influenced by the fact that I worked for 20 years for the county welfare department. These people had few of the “comforts” we have—beds were really scarce and everyone didn’t have one. One of my more affluent co-workers thought that when they said they were out of food, they had a cupboard full of basics like she did but were short on meat or fresh produce, or similar things. NO–no box of rice in the cupboard, no pound of pasta sitting there—NOTHING!! Really nothing in the house to eat. Food pantries or soup kitchens were necessary to even have one meal a day towards the end of the month. It’s a level of poor many of us have not experienced ever. Even when we were newly married and had little in the way of income, I could manage well enough to have a meal on the table every night—nothing very fancy sometimes, but we didn’t eat corn flakes like some of our friends did just before payday. At the beginning, our bills came to exactly $15 less than our pay every month. But we both had the background to realize we just couldn’t SPEND any of the bill money on anything else!! And I guess, the discipline to stick with it. At the time we were in the south (just AC bills) and prices were low. I had to work for a while before I could afford to join my husband, and I lived at my Mom’s for a few months until I saved up transporation money to get there. We had support in emergencies –two sets of parents—who were not rolling in money either, but would keep us from rock bottom. Lots of the really “poor” don’t have those go-to back up systems.
Growing up, we didn’t have a lot but there was always food to eat. My grandparents raised me and my father worked while paying to send my mother to school 7 hours away from us (she never finished and missed my childhood) and while I’m not sad that it was my grandparents who raised me (they were lovely decent people) my parents piss me off in memory because my father spent what money he had left over on cigarettes and beer (and a truck payment that was extremely high) while giving my grandparents no money to support me.
Once my mother had to come back (my father refused to pay for any more college) I remember begging her (she was working by that point) to pay $3 for me to take an after school art class. You can’t even begin to understand why now, at 43, it still pisses me off that I was told “NO. WE DON’T HAVE THE MONEY.” My father’s been gone for 20 years, my grandparents even longer, and my mother and I speak but not often. I simply marvel at the fact that they both smoked, he drank, and she spent her money on…who knows? They lived with my grandparents and had no money for one art class…
All that to say, I’m not sure if we were broke or poor. I think I always thought we were poor, but in reality, I just had parents who weren’t wise with money. (No, neither of them saved a dime for me to go to college– I went at 28 and took out massive loans to do so but that was my choice, still I marvel at how irresponsible they were.)
Sorry if that turned into a rant!
Thank goodness your grandparents took care of you!
It amazes me when people are broke, yet spend money for cigarettes – or now vapor oil, alcohol, gambling, video games etc.
You are right, some folks are very poor at money management and if a person can afford things like that, yet don’t support their children, in my opinion they are very self-centered.
Having said this, I will confess I have not always managed my money well. My parents were good with money, but they didn’t really teach us about money management or saving growing up. I learned it in the school of hard knocks – or what in reality was just blatant stupidity. I was unfortunate enough in the 80s to fall into the consumer mindset.
Thankfully I was mindful enough to take care of my daughter. We always provided shelter, clothing, food and health care first.
My daughter said she feels the push for mothers to have a career during the 70s – 90s, added to the problems of nuclear families. That’s probably true in many ways. That constant striving for new cars, electronics, expensive clothes and homes has definitely caused many divorces and lack of support for kids over the last 40 years.
To me being poor isn’t a bad thing, but being broke is. Being poor just denotes that you don’t have extra money, but make enough to manage on. Being broke says to me that you mismanaged your money, however much that may have been, and don’t have any left. So I would look at being broke far less positively than just being poor.
I agree with you! I am poor. After a lifetime of a career as a teacher, all it took was a natural disaster to strip away my life. My teaching job was terminated 3 years before I was due to retire and I lost my home and all my worldly goods. I
live on extremely limited means now 11 years later with no room for anything in my budget beyond paying rent and bills and buying food. That said, I am able to live a good life on little, spin straw into gold with all the creativity I possess and find pleasure in simple things.
I didn’t know that, I’m sorry to hear that your history is difficult, but happy to hear that you’re still able to find an enjoyable life.
In elementary school, I had a friend whose parents were drinkers and the friend and her two younger siblings frequently went without food. One day we went to the grocery store and I saw her steal a package of hot dogs; she and her siblings ate cold hot dogs many nights as it turned out. I decided two of us shoplifting would be more efficient—it says something about me that I stole Twinkies for them instead of something healthy! I was a terrible shoplifter and was soon caught. I have had many disagreements with my father, but the aftermath of being turned over to him by the store was not one of them. I expected to get a whipping but after I explained why I had shoplifted, he began giving me $10 a week every Friday so that I could give it to my friend to buy food for the weekend. (During the school days, they at least got a free lunch so were hungry but not starving.) He did this from around Christmas until we moved at the end of that school year. ($10 bought more food then). I lost touch with my friend, but there have been times in my life when I was so angry with my father that I could not dredge up any positive thoughts about him—then I would think of his understanding and generosity with my little friend and would find it easier to remember other generous things he did. He came to this country with virtually no money and never forgot what it was like to be hungry and poor. Poor to me has since then has been having so little food that you have to shoplift hotdogs and eat them cold.
Those poor kids, that was a great kindness from your father.
This story (and some of the others on this page) has left me in tears.
It’s so important to remember that other people’s reality can be vastly different from our own.
So true.
What a kind thing for him to do for your friend.
I have never been poor or broke! I have always had a roof over my head and never missed a meal! My parents came through The Depression! My father was unemployed because of it for five years and they were engaged for that time and did not marry until it was over hence my brother and I did not come until later!
Both my mother and father were marvellous managers, kept chooks, vegetable gardens and fruit trees! Everyone we knew was in a similar situation! My father was a shop assistant and my mother kept house! In those days only the rich had higher education and I went to work at 15. Later I had a nursing career and always had a job! Circumstances at times made me very anxious about finances but I always survived! It seems we all may have different interpretations of bein poor or broke based on our expectations and life experiences! I guess if we do the best we can with what we have for ourselves and our families and the planet that is enough!
Interesting perspectives! I guess I always defined the words differently. To me broke is not having the money to pay for the basics of food and shelter. The bills simply cannot be paid. Poor is not having any money for anything but the basics. I definately was poor when supporting myself through college. Going out for a cup of tea and a pastry required scrimping on something else but I was able to pay my basic bills and keep myself fed, housed and clothed.
Hmm, I was just told, not in exactly these words, that I am too broke to pay the huge bills from heart surgery last year, but not poor enough (too many assets – like a home) to get financial aid.
Bless your heart! I feel for you! I hate that horrible “Catch 22!”
Thank you.
I don’t feel that I should get my care for free or anything, but a payment plan with payments I can actually make on our income (less than 14K last year) would be a big help! The only aid we qualified for was to allow them to put a lien on our property. We bounced around the world for years in the military and to finally own our own home is such a huge thing I don’t want to risk it.
I was told I was being selfish, and even though I don’t agree I feel bad about it.
Selfish? That boggles my mind. Don’t feel bad about the way you feel!
My late father-in-law told my husband that he never wanted to be rich, he just wanted to be a poor man with a lot of money. Since he died before I ever met my husband, I can’t ask him exactly what he meant, but I think he meant he wanted to have lots of money for security, but live very modestly. He wore old clothes until they wore out, spent little on himself, and would get snubbed because of his poor appearance at the car dealerships when he shopped for a new car — for which he had the cash to buy outright in his pocket because he earned a very good income.
I grew up in a struggling household. My parents never said we were poor, but we had huge medical bills on my mother and my dad had a small income. I heard “no” to just about any request I had that required funding, no matter how small, and we never got an allowance. There were five of us living in a two-bedroom, one bath, above-a-garage apartment and frugality ruled the day. Later, my husband and I had very tough financial times, the kind where the paycheck doesn’t cover all the necessities even. My parents couldn’t help and his parents both died when he was young, so we had no safety net. I felt “broke” but didn’t know if we’d ever do any better in those bitter days, so maybe it was better to say we were poor. I don’t really know. We still live on a tight budget, more so since my husband can no longer work. But, as has been pointed out, I live better than most of the world, so while I’m not “rich”, I am better off than very many in this world and can’t complain.
I’m also intrigued by what your father-in-law meant.
I’ve asked my husband more than once, and he said his dad never explained (and my husband never asked what that meant; he was only a teen when his dad died), but due to the way he lived, that’s what we assumed he meant. Both sets of our parents were married during the depression years — my husband and I were both late-in-life babies — and I think that colored our parents’ perception of money for the rest of their lives, albeit from different angles.
Your father-in-law was what I have always aspired to be! I don’t need new stuff all the time, when what I have still works; and status symbols don’t mean much to me, so you can keep the fancy car, expensive vacations , designer clothes, and huge house. I want to have enough to be comfortable without being showy about it, to pursue a hobby I enjoy, to take care of the pets I have, and still have something left over for emergencies and to help out my children if they need it. My husband and I are retired now, so there’s less left over than there used to be—but it’s working out so far, barring a major catastrophe.
My eyes are tearing up over some of these stories today. I recall reading Shania Twain’s autobiography a few years ago, where she details, throughout her childhood and adolescence, what being hungry–she and her siblings just not ever having ENOUGH food to ever feel full, was like. Eye opening for me, and I think about her stories every time I see a piece of fruit going to waste, and each time I pour too much milk into my cereal bowl and am tempted to dump it down the sink. To this day she only prepares enough food to eat so there will be no leftovers and temptation to toss leftover food out.
Interesting, I never knew that about her.
Thanks! I’m gonna add this to my”to read” list.
It was a good read!
I grew up in a metro working-class neighborhood. Sometimes both parents worked and money was tight, but we never went without the necessities. My Dad would work an extra job on weekends to help buy things we needed, but couldn’t afford on his regular pay.
Both parents grew up in real poverty, during the Depression.
Years later, I realized my parents were broke sometimes, but we were never poor. My mother was a very frugal person. She would visit 2 local grocers to get the best deals and was always proud of what she could get on her budget. Dad would take the money from his second job to buy school clothes, or save for family vacations. He did most every car or home repair himself.
Second hand shops were very few back in the 60s, but garage sales were big, because a metro area made it easy to travel from one to the other. Mom was a HUGE garage sale person. She perused the sales for good clothing, so they wouldn’t have to buy much when the school year started.
We always rec’d at least one big item at Christmas that we really wanted. The rest was mostly socks, underwear or sometimes a toy from grandmas and such.
We rarely had turkey on the holidays, but Mom made awesome dressing and she would bake a couple of chickens. I never realized that until I was grown!
Our family vacations – we traveled to other states, or towns where their siblings lived and our aunts and uncles bedded us down and took us to see the sights. We spent many evenings and days playing with cousins and having game nights in their homes or just listening to records, or family stories.
We NEVER went without. In today’s terms we may have been considered within the poverty level financially, but honestly, I never felt that way. Most of the families around us were around the same income level. Our family home was like many others back then, bought on a VA loan with little or no money down, because my Dad was a veteran.
They paid off their home after we left home and they always stayed within their budget.
What I learned from all of this is that, family relationships are the most important thing to have as a support systems. You don’t have to have a lot of money to live, be happy and content.
So my word for life is CONTENT. I’m content with my family, faith and life in general. I’m so thankful I had parents that reflected love and contentment in their lives. That lesson is worth more than any degree I could ever earn!
What a rich story you tell, thank you so much!
I have to say this post, with all it’s enlightening comments, is one of the best things I have read in a long time. Great job, Katy!
Thank you! I agree that the comments are amazing.
My thrifty grandmother said she “never noticed” the depression. My grandparents lived in a small town, grandmother taught piano lessons, had a very large garden and lived on a small salary. She did relate to me how they lost several thousand dollars in the ’29 crash and at one point had to borrow money to meet my mother’s college tuition bills.
However, they seem to have made the most of their opportunities – often going down to St. Paul to visit my mom when she was in college and taking advantage of travel opportunities (free) because my grandfather worked for the railroad . They also stayed free with relatives on the West Coast so the costs were minimal.
I don’t think they considered themselves either in poverty or broke, but very frugal and careful with their money.
Sometimes comparisons are useful – grandma came from an immigrant family with twelve children – I’m sure she felt that my grandfather’s job plus her ability to earn a small amount of money teaching piano made them better off than her family of origin.
I grew up in extreme poverty in the Deep South. The kind of poverty that should not exist in America. I still remember and sometimes feel the hunger pangs keenly. There was no hiding it, we were poor without hope of ever not being.
While I chose a profession that will never net a huge income (social work) we live very frugally but we paid cash for our home, gutted it and restored it to its 1940 glory without loans. Our car is old but paid for. We can finally afford those vacations I dreamed of as a child. And while we still technically hover around the poverty line we are financially better off than a lot of our peers earning 3x what we do.
I’m grateful for what I came from, for without it, I would not appreciate what I have today.
Katie, Your comment inspires me because of some things we’re going through, ourselves. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thank you, Elizabeth. I hope whatever your going through gets better soon.
Thank you for sharing this amazing story!
Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Thank you! I enjoy your blog and your commenters so much.