I have a tendency to get caught up in the stressors of day-to-day life and can let myself get close to the edge. But the one idea that backs me up from the slippery precipice is the notion that I am my own boss. This is true with my blog, my family and my household duties. I don’t have to follow a strict set of rules, I can create my own routines, ethics and guidelines.
Some of the ideas that I’ve been rethinking lately:
- I must blog on a daily basis.
- I must serve dinner at 6:00. (If we’re hungry at 4:00 P.M., then we eat at 4:00 P.M.!)
- I must do the dishes promptly after dinner.
- I must go to bed and wake up early.
- I must have washboard flat abdominal muscles.
- I write about sustainability and simple living, therefor I must get rid of my cars and winnow my belongings down to 100 items.
- I must live my life exactly like every else.
I am a 42-year-old woman who gets to make her own rules. I don’t live in an oppressive society and I celebrate the elastic waistband! Occasionally I choose Mad Men over a sink full of dishes and my life would be a million times more inconvenient if my cars went away.
I am my own boss, and I can live the life that feels right to me.
Go ahead and try it, it’s extremely liberating.
Katy Wolk-Stanley
“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
Katy,
I agree! I’ve been trying for months to get on a “schedule” so I can be more productive and “have it all together”! I don’t think that is ever going to happen so I need to just focus on what is important and not worry so much about my house (keep it clean but not perfect!) I am my own boss and this is my life!! 🙂
Own it!
-Katy
You go, girl!
I loveity-love being my own boss…I’m in charge of my blog, our homeschooling, my home, my photography business, and my piano teaching business.
I’m a tough boss, don’t get me wrong, but my toughness is all my own choice, and that makes me very happy. 🙂
I wish i could be my own boss but I have no skills that enables me to stay at home and work. I can’t bake, can’t photograph, don’t even know how to set up a blog. I feel useless.
Lilian,
You don’t need to be an expert before starting something out. It’s okay to be a beginner at the beginning.
-Katy
Lilian, I don’t have a skill set that enables me to stay at home either, but that makes me (And you as well) far from useless.
You probably have a skill set already, but just don’t refer to it as such because it’s something you do that is ingrained in your everyday routine.
Even if you don’t, think about something you like to do…..I mean REALLY like to do, and take a baby step or two towards it.
I’ll pray for you.
Katie, edit me to say something like: “I’ll think positive thoughts for you and send good vibes your way” if the prayer statement is out of line.
Yes, yes, yes! When bloggers I read daily and really respect write anti-perfectionist posts (i.e. this one from you and “It doesn’t have to be perfect to bless other people” by Kristen, The Frugal Girl) it really inspires me. I’m a recovering anal retentive personality myself and marrying an artist was the first step towards reforming myself into a more relaxed individual. This is the first time I’ve announced this in a public forum, but I’m currently 19 wks pregnant. It turns out, although I expected to be a 100% organic, tree-hugging superwoman preggo, my hormones have made me seriously laid back. Sometimes it’s hard to reconcile that with the priorities I used to have and think I should still have, but I’m starting to learn to trust myself and my body and to hell with what anyone else (including the old me) thinks.
Congratulations!
Becoming a parent is the ultimate reminder that there is no such thing as having control over your day. And the best thing you can do, is fiercely protect your sense of humor. You’re going to need it.
-Katy
Amen.
Nothing like a child to throw your whole day for a loop. And sometimes, there’s not a thing to be done about it other than roll with the punches.
I always like when you post photos of yourself, you’re so cute!
Aw, shucks.
-Katy
*Like*
Thanks to your recommendation, I read “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. One of my favorite parts is where she talks about her reminder to “Be Gretchen.” It’s so powerful, just to have a little mantra to help keep that in mind.
I always think of you as following your own inner voice, on so many things. (Which I love and admire about you.) So maybe you are just reminding yourself forcefully to “Be Katy.”
I lent that book to my step-mother, and I think I need to start working to get it back. I’ve had a few instances where I wanted to refer to it and couldn’t.
-Katy
Lovely post! I often suffer from the “shouldas”. Even if I KNOW I have made the best decision for me and for this moment in my life, I “feel bad” that I couldn’t do something else. My husband likes to give me a hard time about “feeling bad” about things. I often wish I could do more; even if I’ve already done as much as I was apparently able to do. My husband never wishes he could do more – he’s always perfectly satisfied with whatever he has accomplished. And who expects me to do all these things I “should” do? Only me. Thanks for reminding me to cut myself some slack once in a while.
Lillian, you are not useless. I even try to be my own boss at work. I have control over how productive I am, what I choose to get in a snit about and what I can let go of. I am the queen of Good Enough. But I say again, Lillian you are not useless!
Yes, I had to find some space for myself and Be My Own Boss! One thing I let go of is the big Sunday dinner – come home from church, work like a beaver while everyone else is napping, and then spend the evening a martyr to doing dishes and cleaning up. How is that a sabbath for me? So Sunday is now forage and leftovers day, with something no-cook for breakfast like coffeecake or berries. Just one day out of the week, I am not counting the number of vegetables everyone eats! Sunday is also my break from the computer day, so I’m not getting bossed around by the internet either.
Lillian, I’m housekeeper and cook and live in someone else’s house – and I am still in charge of my life. You don’t have to be indepedent of everyone else, you just need to have some self-confidence that you know what is right for you.
I agree with Magdalena. Lilian you aren’t giving yourself enough credit. You are a one of a kind masterpiece! There’s nobody in the entire world exactly like you. As for the whole idea of being one’s own boss, when I was around 40 I began that inner journey of owning my own life. Up to that point I was only “somebody” as it related to somebody else….I was somebody’s daughter, somebody’s wife, somebody’s friend, somebody’s mother. Now twelve years later I’m myself and that’s good enough.
Very, very well said, Lisa!!!
I never felt more like an adult than the day I was on vacation (solo) in my thirties and decided I was going to have a giant jam cookie for breakfast. And nothing else. Go Katy!
A big moment for me was finally deciding to take my dear, sweet son out of the private school that was making him violent, sad and angry—and bringing him home to be “unschooled” here. Now, almost 2 years later, I proudly tell people that he’s a 2nd grade drop-out, and thankfully back to being his curious, strong yet gentle self. Everyone said I was crazy, but they were wrong and I was right! Whoo-hoo!
I don’t live in an oppressive society and I celebrate the elastic waistband!-Katy
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Best quote EVER! I turn 40 next week. This is my new motto…thanks 😉
QUEEN OF YOUR OWN CASTLE! Way to go!! A little elastic IS a girl’s best friend. Staying up late is really fun sometimes. I resolve to watch MORE TV (I NEVER have time or energy..gonna just catch those episodes my my favorite shows and let the dishes wait..)
And, am getting weary of the frugality “movement.” For heaven’s sakes, some of us choose to live in suburbs, drive SUV’s, and occasionally go out to eat! We WORK FOR IT!And we play, too.I don’t feel oppressed by my lifestyle or my work.Neither does my spouse. We are in careers we mostly like and we don’t over work it..
It’s all about BALANCE. I don’t feel the need to embrace any more “movements”–not simplicity or frugality or signing up for no shopping years.. (I like an occasional CHICO’S outing!)
My family is not wasteful, and not extravagant,we simply work and play in balance and yes sometimes we do buy toys and eat a nice meal out!!
i am (seriously) considering starting a blog about SIMPLE EXTRAVAGANCE!!!
ENJOY YOUR LIFE! I enjoy your blog–