One Frugal Thing -- Garbage is Not an Inheritance
1) My husband and I finally completed the work on his late parents' crammed full storage unit! In the end it took four long days, two donations trips to the Habitat ReStore, three full trips to the dump, a car load of broken furniture to a kid to be restored, (which he'll keep) multiple items brought home to deal with later, (sigh . . . ) and a couple things left in place for my brother-in-law to pick up later in the week.
Our poor minivan!
As a reminder, this job was in addition to the months of backbreaking work my husband did in 2024 to clear out and tackle their house's delayed maintenance in the name of readying it for sale. Luckily he's not an only child. Unlucky that the house was two-and-a-half hours away, which necessitated pricey hotel stays.
The shelving units were riddled with hidden bug sacks, so they got dismantled and dumped into our backyard. We'll hose them down and reassemble them for our own basement storage.
Mind you, not as an excuse to cleverly store more stuff than necessary! We're thinking baseball, hockey, ski, cycling and soccer equipment, as well as the necessary life supplies that need to be kept on hand.
This is no kind of inheritance to leave for your descendants. People joke about the "Millennial inheritance," but really it's every generation.
As a reminder, this was the before.
I'm good about not holding onto capital "S" Stuff, but I could do better. Our 1914 house is pretty big, which means it can contain a surprising amount of Stuff before it appears cluttered. This experience has motivated me to do another sweep through the house to see what can go.
Wish me luck!
In the end I'm just happy that my husband no longer has this physically and emotionally demanding chore looming over him. Saying bye-bye to shelling out $137/month for storage is just the cherry on top of the sundae!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Buh-bye storage unit, gross broken things, and bug sacks ... and am I the only one with "Love Shack" in my head now, but replacing the words "Bug Sack" ?? Maybe just me.
Good job, Katy!
No jukebox and while little, hardly a place to get together.. Bug Shack!
Well, NOW I have that son in my head.
Well now that song's in my head!
Congratulations on a job well done, Katy and Mr. NCA!
One of my relatives had a situation similar to yours. His dad was a junk collector with a capital J. Found all kinds of bargains at the freight-yard salvage place. Which he bought and never used. I don't think you could've put another item, even a toothpick, in the dad's 2-car garage and outdoor shed. The son was an only child, and when his parents died, it took him over 2 years to clean out everything. He even found a soldier's mess kit from World War ONE!( Complete with a unopened can of Spam, K-rations or MREs....or whatever they called it back then.) He ended up selling it on eBay, Spam and all.
Today I went to the thrift store to see if I could find the matching bottom (skirt or slacks) to the dressy jacket I bought from them in last month's bag sale. No such luck. But I got some of their free books, which promptly went to a LFL in the slums. A lot of people in the 'hood don't have transportation to this thrift store or to the public library, so I try to help out when I can.
I've been doing more cleaning out and donated items to this thrift store, Salv. Army and Goodwill. The latter gave me their 20% discount coupon. I have several coupons, but will give some to my cleaning lady who recently moved to a duplex near a Goodwill store.
Found some already-read paperbacks in good cond. in my closet boxes. Went to the used book store to trade 'em in. They only accepted one, but it brings my total up to $22 in credit. (Nobody gives cash around here.) The others got donated to the thrift stores and LFL and public library for its book sale.
Washed the car, took off the old fading bumper stickers and put a new one on. It says: "Had enough? Vote Democrat!" In all capital letters.
"Slums" is widely considered offensive.
It is a dilapidated area known for poverty, crime and drive-by shootings What would you call it, Millionaire Acres?
"Low income neighborhood."
Yes a better description and that is what it is. Though I suspect there are slum lords who are a pox on society.
Not accurate enough, Rebecca.
To explain further, for much of my life I lived in a low income neighborhood. It was NOT a slum because residents kept up their property or rentals as well as they could given their low or modest incomes, and things were clean and neat if somewhat old and in need of repair. Low crime rate. Friendly with police and each other; many neighbors had lived there for decades Nice people but low income, often seniors on fixed incomes. People of different ethnic backgrounds lived there. We all got along. No loud music or domestic disturbances -- and as far as anyone could tell, no drugs. Nice dogs kept in their owner's yard.
Slums are different. I could use the word ghetto or barrio or hood but that would make me sound racist. This is a slum: Unsafe to live there. Big drug problem; alcohol, too. Shoes hung from electric lines signifying a drug dealer's corner. Graffiti spray painted on walls. Boarded up windows. Fights in the streets. Pit bull dog attacks. Dog fights or cock fights organized by bad men. Hookers. Burned/dilapidated buildings. Guns. Yes it is low income-- but so much more!
There are ministries in our slums that try to help kids stay out of gangs. One has a little free library and I sometimes take books there (during daylight hours). But to say it is only a low income neighborhood is inaccurate.
I am a retired professional journalist. I may not be tactful but dammit I am ACCURATE!
"Slum" is generally considered racist and by the way, the sneakers hanging from powerlines=drug dealer's patch is an urban myth.
I don't see why you need to differentiate one low income neighborhood from another when it's only about leaving books at a LFL.
Also I am not Rebecca. I honestly couldn't care less if people buy useless little tote bags.
We saw a bumper sticker on a car yesterday that read "YOU GOT WHAT YOU VOTED FOR."
Dept of Homeland Security bought 2 buildings in PA (one near Philly and the other one about an hour or so from us) they wanted to turn into detention facilities. The state finally put its foot down and said "You're not welcome here." A cause for celebration! They should build a detention center at Mar-a-lago, truth be known.
I just read something funny - MAGA- Make Algae Great Again.
Here in WA State a local Native American Tribe was asked for land for a detention center. I’m sure they were offered a pile of money but rightfully turned it down.
I applaud the work you've done. It sure is good incentive, isn't it, not to leave the same kind of inheritance for your children.
I live in a small condo, and do not rent a storage unit. I do have a unit (free) in the basement of our building, but most of the stuff in it is what my DIL's mother left behind when she died. I am storing it as a favor to my DIL until she is ready to deal with it.
Little by little, I am getting rid of stuff, anyway. Thank goodness I don't seem to have the hoarding gene. I don't get that at all.
I've come to believe that part of being a good parent is what you leave for them after you're gone.
Or, more to the point, what you DON'T leave for them . . .
I'm happy for you and Mr. NCA that chapter is over. Your before and after photographs say it all.
1. In that vein, a friend offered me her set of china from the 1970s. Full place settings for 25 people! I never have 25 people over. While kind of her, not only will I probably never use it, I have no place to store it except the cellar or the attic where, let's face it, it will just sit. I am in my late 60s and am presently doing the Swedish Death Cleaning thing.
2. I just finished a library book, The Women by Kristin Hannah. Highly recommend.
3. I hung out 2 loads of laundry this morning.
4. I walked a get well card up to my neighbors' house to save a stamp after hearing the husband broke his hip during a fall.
5. I have tiny little green tomatoes on my plant and I would guesstimate hundreds of small unripe raspberries on the Raspberry patch bushes. I got sick of paying for my favorite fruit so I planted ONE Raspberry bush which has morphed into a moderate sized patch in about ten years.
I read "The Women" a couple years ago and it really stuck in my head.
Congrats on getting the storage unit emptied! We just emptied out my mom's and sold what we could at a yard sale, and got a reseller to come and take the rest away. She'd put this stuff in a storage barn at a relatives house 25 years ago when she moved out of state, and didnt want most of it once she got settled in, but also didnt want to deal with it because it was so overwhelming. But its all gone now so I won't have to deal with it down the road. Hurray!
Loud cheers for you and Mr. NCA on reaching this milestone, Katy. As you know, you're preaching to the choir as far as I'm concerned. There's no way I'm going to leave the magnitude of mess for my own executor that NDN1 has left for me, CF, and her nephew.
The amount of Stuff we all accumulate is simply unsustainable!
What a thrill to see that nearly-clear storage unit!
My friend dropped off a bunch of things for me to sell or donate, I get to keep the profit. I'm always thankful for those loads.
Ate some fresh tomatoes from my garden. Seeds were free. Rainwater (collected) was free.
Worked my volunteer gig where I receive the support of many like minded people, while providing food for my community at the same time. My mother is headed to assisted living and I received so much encouragement today.
It was a huge thrill!!!
Katy, I know you feel like a great burden has been lifted with the emptying of the storage bin. I AM an only child and my parents' house was two hours away. It took me 1 and a half years to empty. I slept on a mattress on the floor when I was there working.
The burden really was on my husband and so happy that has been mostly lifted.
I'm so sorry you had to spend so long on your parents' house.
I feel your pain! My in-laws have just passed and they made no effort to downsize before their decline. I guess they thought they still had time in their late 80s? (How unrealistic!) I think when I’m 75, I will start aggressively downsizing. It’s not fair to expect my kids to sort through it all!
In other news, I hit the bins today and found a nice summer weight wool pencil skirt that will be appropriate for a memorial event.
My parents are 83 and 87 and my mom LOVES to buy new things. Their place is jam packed, although quite nicely. My husband and brother worry about eventually dealing with it and encourage them to get rid of things, but it stresses my mom out to even think about. I don’t need the exasperation of it now, and will just deal with it later. Thinking of hiring a practical friend to help (paid for out of estate) and just rolling with it when needed. Future me may regret this.
Dawne, I can relate. Encouraging my 80+ mom to even look through all the full, forgotten drawers and cupboards made her stressed and me frustrated…ultimately decided our relationship now is much more important, and it will be a job for future me (only child). Le sigh. But we were both relieved.
Congrats on finishing that job! I am slowly working on selling off my dad's many tool and implement sheds. Sold 3 boats, gave away the fishing poles to family and friends. I have a clothes hoarder mother and because of her I have a minimalist wardrobe.
You are inspiring me to keep my mantra of 'she who has the least, reaps the most'.
Sorry I haven't been around. Gathering up stuff for a yard sale and tackling tasks I've been procrastinating on.
6 of our windows are open. A lot of people are complaining about how "cold" our summer has been. We've gone straight from winter to summer for so many years (actually decades), people forgot what "spring" is supposed to feel like. Windows open, A/C not even plugged in. Been hanging laundry outside. GLORIOUS!
Took my sister for a haircut and errands today. One stop was Walmart. DH and I looked (just looked) at an instapot. Whenever I cook rice on the stove, it's never quite right. My mom raised me on Minute Rice, but we get long grain brown rice from the food bank almost every month. It's free, so that's what I attempt to cook.
Couldn't justify $200 for an 8-qt instapot. While talking with my sister, she bought a crockpot with a digital screen a while back and used it once. She doesn't like it. She's used to one with a dial with settings for OFF, LOW, HIGH, and WARM. Just so happens, that's the kind of crockpot I have. We're trading.
Had DH look on Marketplace for Instapots just to see what was out there. Found one, 8-qt, new, never used, for $50...and we could get it TODAY! Met the seller and picked it up. I really didn't want the crockpot my sister had, but I took it and we're going to sell it to recover some of the $50 we spent on the instapot. $200 new from the store or $50 new (same size and brand), never used. I think that was a good deal.
DH picked 70 lb of strawberries in about 2 1/2 hours a couple of weeks ago. They sold for $2.75/lb for pick-your-own, $7/qt already picked. Now that strawberries are over and blueberries are in season, DH and his DB picked yesterday. DH brought home about 14 lbs (same price as strawberries). He plans to pick more late next week.
Our hunter friend saved a graduation announcement from the newspaper for us of our daughter's college graduation. When we went to pick it up, he handed us a bag with venison bologna, venison kielbasa, and wild turkey breast. We both gobbled down the boligna; DH ate the kielbasa (I don't like kielbasa), and I cooked the turkey breast today in my crockpot (which will go to my sister next week.)
Doing our best to eat down the freezer and pantry, save electricity, and pinch but pennies wherever possible.
Melissa, I've noticed your absence and am glad you're okay!
Great find on the $50 Instapot! Especially since it's the same one that was selling for $200. I don't have one yet...like you, I'm not willing to pay big bucks for one. One will eventually turn up somewhere for the right price.
I cooked the whole bag of rice, divided it into portions in freezer bags and froze it until ready to use. We usually eat rice 1-2 times a week. Now that I know I can do it (I only used 1 bag of rice to try it out), I'll cook several bags of rice the next time and portion it out and freeze it. Future self will be very happy!
I'm glad you went the Marketplace route for your Instant Pot, Melissa!
Be a bit cautious as the 8 Qt is a bit big for cooking SMALL batches of rice, you likely will have more success when you use at least 2 dry cups of rice rather than trying to cook 1 dry cup.
The manual that comes with the IP will tell you the ratios of water to rice - they are DIFFERENT than what you might expect from other kinds of cooking rice.
You might also find that soaking the rice for 10 min (after you rinse it, soak it in the water that you will be cooking it in) can make a huge difference in how the rice comes out.
Have fun with your IP!! Mine is in regular rotation for dried beans, chicken broth from bones, cooking chicken in a bit of broth/water, split pea soup.... and so much more. I used to put it away between uses but it now sits on the counter because I use it so often
I see Instant Pots in thrift stores pretty often these days.
I have a thrift store rice cooker and it is foolproof! Perfect rice every time!!
Katy, I'm so happy for you and Mr. NCA that the storage unit cleanout is done! What a job. I loved my father-in-law *but* he left enough crap to fill three 30-yard dumpsters. The worst part was when his adult kids were hauling out garbage that came from their childhood home, which meant that my FIL had moved garbage from one home to another so that he didn't have to pay to have it hauled away.
There were electric bills from five moves ago!
Yikes! Luckily my FIL didn't hoard paper but it sure was a low point when his kids hauled out gross carpet and broken plastic room dividers from their childhood bedrooms. The only happy ones were the mice that got to live (and poop and pee) in the carpet rolls for 20 years.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! An huge chore and expense from his parents. I am so sorry for them as clearly they were unable to deal with their own belongings. And I am so sorry for their descendants and families for all the work and problems and expenses this created. You have done a magnificent job and I hope the last items clear rapidly. Old age is tough and pre-death clearing and preparation is not always possible.... but it certainly is a companion to non-consumer thinking. Doing it over time and one's self is a gift to those who remain. The horror stories of 'inheritance' disposal problems can be avoided and that is a gift of love.
Unless one dies or becomes physically incapacitated suddenly in ones 50's, pre-death clearing is possible for everyone. I'm early 50's and I'm already clearing. Not essentials, but the things that have been stored for years already.
Many people don't want to face what they've accumulated and do feel as if they are unable. Mostly this is a case of won't. Not can't. There are, of course, exceptions so I try to be understanding.
Not everyone, @Kara.
For reasons other than death or physical incapacitation.
Gifts to one's future selves and loved ones are the best gifts!
I’m doing another low stress decluttering. Just picking a space and clearing it out. My mom’s mom once said about my dad “That Shorty, he’d bring home a dead rat on a string because he might need the string.” I try not to be that way, but I have to constantly guard against it. My husband needs a root canal that he was told would be about $1,000. I’d like to sell some things and see how much I can save towards it. Every little bit would help!
I have saved what I think my daughter and I will need for our trip to her best friend’s baby shower. We already paid for our accommodations, so this money is for food and gas.
That phrase is disgusting, yet very much much gets the message across.
My friend is selling her in laws home. The estate sale is over so she did an SOS to friends and family for the final cleanout. 10 of us showed up to help out. She told us to take whatever we wanted since everything was being tossed or donated. I came home with a car full of stuff to pass on to my kids, keep or sell. I will give her some of the money if anything sells. My office is currently a mess because of it. That is my job for this weekend. She treated us all to pizza for helping. I told her awhile ago to make an appointment with Big Brothers, Big Sisters as they pick up donations. The only things they will not take are large furniture, encyclopedias and food. Most of the furniture sold and the new homeowners said they would take whatever is left. They did not have encyclopedias and all the food was taken a while ago. I have been saving newspapers and boxes from my friend's house where I take care of her mom.
We had a very nice Father's Day for my husband. I made him a nice breakfast at home. Our son took him to the range and then they grabbed lunch. They do it every year. Our youngest daughter came over later and played games and treated us to dinner. She will take her dad mini golfing another day. Our oldest treated her dad to a baseball game when we are down there at the end of the summer. As you can see we prefer doing things together over buying stuff as I know you and your family do too.
My celery didn't make it so I planted more string beans in their place as I already had the seeds. I am harvesting lots of peas, sugar snap peas, lettuce, basil, and spinach. My daughter tried the first blueberry and by her facial expressions I took it that they are not ready yet. Lots of garden work has been happening in early mornings or after work. I shut the sprinklers off because we finally had some rain.
We're about to get a few days of rain and I'm very happy for my garden.
I cut the last couple of inches off the bottom of my celery when I am nearing the end of its usefulness in the kitchen. I place it in a small bowl and add a little water. The celery bottom will continue growing and root. At that point I pot it up and put it on my porch in a place that does not get full sun. It grows and I use it. One year I dried the leaves and put them in small jars ysing them as gifts at Christmas. They were well received.
Must be something in the air! I am glad you finally marked that recurring expense off the list. My husband finally, FINALLY wanted to tackle the monstrous pile of miscellaneous wires that had been growing in our basement for the last 20+ years! "We might need one of these someday"
Someday never came and I am thankful *he* was the one wanted to get this done. It was sorted and out!
I'm picturing amount of tangled wires that's probably much more than it actually was.
Woo-hoo! I'm sure it feels so good to have that done!
Good on you both! What a job!
My grandparents let me know they're updating their will and asked if I wanted anything. I've just downsized our family to 6 suitcases, two large boxes, a 4ft cedar chest, 4 carry-on bags, and 4 personal item bags, so I'm not in a hurry to undo my hard work. I tried to think if there was anything I couldn't live without but came up blank! I'll take it as a win.
I think designating items in their will is about as close to decluttering as they've come. Unfortunately for their three children (two who live out of state and one who is currently in another country), my grandparents have 3-4 out buildings, an absolutely packed shop, and a few spare bedrooms that will have to be taken care of.
That sounds like an overwhelming amount of stuff! Sorry.
Well done, @Katy and Mr. NCA - this has been a long, physically and emotionally demanding marathon, seeing the last of the items 'rehomed' (even if only to the dump) and that locker empty of any responsibilities must feel super sweet.
You deserve to pat yourselves on the back, high five each other, and thank yourselves for having the neighbours over BEFORE you brought home the bug shack shelves, LOL
I love "bug shack shelves!" nice ring to it.
Worry not, we are patting ourselves on the back, big time!
After cleaning out my parents' five bedroom house and the garage, and my husband just finished helping his mother go through junk so she could move, we are determined not to leave that kind of mess for our kids. It is a great motivator to clean stuff out. Hopefully we still have plenty of time (but who knows), so we are trying to get things to people we know want them by selling or re-homing, rather than to a thrift store. But sadly, yes, we too now have new crap to deal with, from my husband's mom's house. And on it goes.
So much crap! Sorry.
Good job NCA and hubby!!!
My brother tore down my Grandma's home after she moved to town. It had been deteriorating for years but she wouldn't make a move until it was so utterly apparent that it was falling down around her. Part of it was a hand hewn log cabin possibly built by freemen. The logs were stored for 20 years in my Dad's shed. Finally, last week they went to our cousin as a gift. She is grieving the loss of a son who took his life at 18. The logs then went to a local woodworker who will clean and seal them. Then they will be installed as a "serenity mantel".She is thrilled to have them and we are glad they are being used. I hope it helps bring her some sense of peace.
That's my good junk story!!!
This week I begin cleaning up and preparing for dirt work and building a road to move equipment and animals safety to the south half of the farm. Hauling scrap is the first task!!! Oh, and it's going to be hot!!!
Your poor cousin, that's so sad, but I love the idea of a "serenity mantle."
I sooo relate to this "inheritance" that relatives can "pass down" to us. Since we moved back to my hometown my husband and I have been helping my dad get rid of some of his stuff in his house. Since we had to clear out some of the junk from our house, it made sense to pick up my dad's too. We made 5 trips to the dump in our car and got rid of a bunch of chemicals/old paint at a community event.
We have also been working on getting my dad's will, POA and wishes documented with a lawyer so that if my dad needs help or when he eventually passes away, everything will be tied up in a neat package. I do not want to fight with my brother when my father is dying!
I wish more families would take this work seriously in advance to avoid the misery that comes from leaving a mess.
You are doing a HUGE favor to your future self!
I can relate to your post about cleaning out after people pass on. My mother, father, and maternal grandparents were all hoarders to some extent, but only one of them--my dad--ever had a storage locker. As I recall there wasn't anything gross, disgusting, or damaged in that storage locker.
Luckily for me, most of the hoarded stuff (for all of them) was saleable. I blessed all of them heartily when I had financial hard times, my dad was a tool hoarder and reselling his tools helped me pay my rent. Same for a lot of what my grandmother in particular hoarded, most of which was either antique or vintage or at the least collectible. She also held on to most of my childhood toys which turned out to be popular with other people as well (vintage Fisher Price toys especially).My mother was the queen of thrift shops and yard/garage sales, and she had a good eye/good taste in what she bought.
Honest question. Why do people have storage units? Even when we were between houses we just stacked temporary place full of all our stuff. Done that twice. Couches lined up in a row. 😉 Maybe to store items for your personal business? Other reasons?
I can relate.
Last summer we packed up my Stepmothers house to move her closer to our little Sister, we found letters I wrote home from camp in the 70's, our old report cards, in addition to the many casseroles, tablecloths and Tchotchkes- SO.MUCH.STUFF. Every time we opened a drawer or a closet......! She refused to get rid of anything, despite our insistence that it was easier to get rid of it at the time and would make her move easier. She stuffed it all into the smaller house she moved into. We will have to deal with it one day in the future...not looking forward to it.
Then, our father passed in December and while his house never looked like he had a lot - again, opening drawers, closets, attic --- MORE stuff. He still had the divorce papers from our Mom circa 1972.....OY VEY. He also had an outbuilding garage with 3 classic cars and more tools than a car dealership (he was a car guy).....so we had to go through all of that and sell. It is very stressful, but what a sense of relief when it is all gone!
Wow quite an accomplishment for y’all. I downsized 13 years go from 1800 to 834 square feet since I have no kids and don’t want to burden my niece and nephew when I’m gone.