The Joy of Simplicity
Vacations are funny. It's exciting and glamorous to explore the world and "get away from it all," but then it's deeply amazing to come back to the comforts of home. (Assuming you're content with your home life.) Sleeping in your own bed, puttering around your own house and this one might just be me, but stepping back from the "make sure every day counts" mindset.
Yesterday was our first full day back from six days in Vancouver B.C. and aside from taking out garbage and watering the yard, I didn't leave the house. It was the best!
I ran a couple loads of laundry, read my library book, worked on a grocery list, packaged up two eBay sales and chatted on the phone with my sister and both kids. Dinner was Trader Joe's orange chicken with rice and sautéed cabbage, which I'd planned before we even left the country.
Zero decision making, the comforts of routine and I didn't set an alarm to avoid sleeping through the hotel breakfast. Just me, relaxing on my couch with discounted Franz bread and pilfered hotel jam. Simple. Easy. Perfect.
A vacation from my vacation.
Katy Wolk-Stanley
"Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without."
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I think enjoying the simple things in life goes hand in hand with frugality...the first garden tomato, the bluebirds return, a wonderful and nourishing homemade soup...and because of our outlook we don't need the "other stuff".
I'm an introverted homebody,makes perfect sense to me.
I love these sentiments and your day's activities so much; super comforting, like hygge in the summer. It has affected me the same way I was affected years ago when you talked about socializing (or lack thereof) with women, preferring to run errands with a friend while walking, etc.
Same girl same!
This post is me!
Did you ever find the “missing” eBay item? ( I might have missed it , if it’s been addressed I apologize)
I understand what you're saying. I am happiest in my own home, especially reading a book on the back deck in the summer. I love the occasional vacation or night away but the first night sleeping in my own bed is a joy!
Oh, I hear you! The simple life is the best!
I am embarking on a new mindset. Because I am in my late seventies I have been having conversations with others about my future. Some feel strongly I should jump on the retirement home bandwagon while I am still in good health, so I can enjoy the social aspects before I sink into poor health. I have looked at some, and I have looked at where my sister lives, and all I can say is I am not in any hurry. I love my life the way it is.
Granted, there are challenges. I live on the third floor of a vintage building. There is no elevator. My laundry facilities are in the basement. I don't have central air, so my son has to set up window units every summer. I have to park on the street, and I have to move my car for street sweeping and snow removal, or get a ticket -- or even worse, towed.
But the good things -- my condo is adorable and feeds my soul. I have no worries about lawn care or snow shoveling. I have easy access to public transportation, and it's free. My son's family lives a half hour walk away. It is a 15-minute walk to Walgreens, my dentist, my eye doctor, a Chinese restaurant, a frozen yogurt shop, a dry cleaner and a nail salon (which I rarely use). About a half hour walk will get me to an Italian restaurant, a Mexican restaurant, a sports bar, two diners, two coffeeshops, two bakeries, a mini grocery, an urgent care, and assorted shops I don't use. The post office is about 35 minutes away. If all that's not great enough, I have a beach on a great lake a five-minute walk away. Let's face it, I'm in heaven! I'm staying.
It is also financially advisable to stay put as long as I can. Retirement home living is shockingly expensive.
So my new mindset is, I am going to do whatever I have to do to stay put. That means keeping my legs strong and my heart and lungs strong so the stairs are not a burden. That means learning not to buy more groceries than I can carry up those stairs. And maybe buying less will mean eating out a bit more, which I wouldn't mind, even though it would be more expensive.
Did I forget to mention there are LFL's all over my neighborhood?
So the two things I want to focus on are maintaining my stair climbing ability, and limiting the weight of things I carry home. If I must bring home heavy stuff, I will ask my grandson to help.
Sorry to spend so much time on this topic!
This morning I walked to Walgreens and bought some groceries which cost $15 and weighed 4 1/2 lbs. I picked up a Jodi Picoult book at a LFL and found a dime.
I'm with you on this one Beth. I think the walking to stores and restaurants in your neighborhood plus walking those flights of stairs will keep you strong and in great shape. No need for a gym membership either. I grew up in a large city and I have to say I miss the conveniences you mentioned.
Re: street parking. Besides not good for your vehicle, have you crunched the numbers to see if using an Uber/Lyft , cab (last time I took one in Chicago proper was 2004) or renting a car is a money saver/break even over keeping your car? Something to think about.
It's something I think about, but not ready to pull the trigger.
If carrying the groceries gets too much with your stairs you could always try having them delivered.
You are following the “use it or lose it” method with all of those stairs, carrying laundry, groceries, etc. I hope you can continue as long as you would like!
Do I sense a fellow Chicago lover?!
I think staying active (stairs! walking!) might just keep you out of those retirement homes. Not everyone ends up in one! Keep doing what is feeding your soul; I think it's a fabulous plan and one to aspire to. Checked all my boxes for sure!
Kudos to you!
Beth, You are doing all the right things for a lovely life especially given those nice nearby amenities.
As for groceries: when my husband had surgery we tried food delivery from the regular supermarket during his recovery. We were shocked at how inexpensive it is: $8. We probably saved that much in impulse items. And the nice delivery guys carried the very heavy bags into our kitchen. Even with tip, it didn’t cost more than going ourselves (again, impulse items).
Where do you live? I might need to move there!
Beth, here's a slightly different perspective. I am all in favor of people staying in their homes as long as possible, especially if they love them. But since I'm currently helping my parents (late 80s) navigate things, what I've learned is that even though they always planned to age in place, and they considered possibly having live-in help, they never thought about what would happen if their mobility was impacted. My dad has grown weaker and now has to get around with a wheelchair. But they live in a two-story house where the main living areas are upstairs and the garage is downstairs. He's effectively trapped. They just added one of those stairlift things you sit on to go up and down stairs, but they are ridiculously expensive. And they've had to hire caregivers. So while staying in the house seemed to be the most cost-effective approach, the expense of caregiving makes it way more expensive than assisted living. Not every who ages experiences mobility issues, but both my parents have and it really complicates things. So as you look to the future, don't forget to take into consideration all the possibilities if staying in your condo also requires having round-the-clock or live-in help to do so.
It is 105 degrees on my outdoor thermometer. Needless to say I'm not spending much time outside! If I don't have to be somewhere, I stay indoors in the AC. But last night when I was watering, I noticed a little red rosebud on the front yard rosebush! That's about all the excitement going on today.
I love it!
A big exciting announcement on our end - we are buying a house! This comes with all the anxieties about budget and trying not to get too excited...leading me to my frugal things today.
(also - hit me with your favorite packing and moving tips!!!)
1. We have set a list up of all the things we want to buy for the new house. This will allow us to browse sales, stay on top of the buy nothing group and skulk facebook marketplace.
2. We are graciously accepting high quality furniture from our families, including a beautiful dining room table and a couch combo that...will do for now. My parents have also been kind enough to hold onto a beautiful coffee table for us.
3. We are cancelling plans/not making new ones until we are moved in. We keep plenty busy, so cooling off on this has been a relief to make space for us to take our time moving.
4. We are asking if the seller is leaving any furniture behind or is interested in selling it to us; if it already fits in the space and already exists, no reason to buy new (if we like it and it isn't bashed up, of course).
5. We are happy with the very quirky paint jobs and wallpaper the previous seller put in, saving us money and time up front (although the orange bedroom and lilac living room will be an adjustment from our all white apartment!)
Congratulations!! It sounds like you're already in the right mindset to save money on your move. A few things I have done:
-Buy Nothing moving boxes. Especially around the end/first of the month when leases are up. I've gotten specialty boxes (wardrobe, glassware) that way plus the usual sturdy boxes, bubble wrap, etc. If you start early, you can get most or all you need without paying for them.
-declutter everything you can before the move! Less to pack and deal with.
-Pack a 'first night' box with sheets, an outfit for everyone, toiletries, hand soap, toilet paper, paper towels, and paper plates. When you're exhausted that first night in the new home, you can flop the mattress(es) on the floor, take a shower, and eat something without having to unpack six boxes to find what you need.
And Band-aids and some kind of pain reliever for the barked knuckles on a door frame or strained back.
If you are moving out of town and using a DIY moving van such as a UHaul, don't make thee mistake of loading your mattresses first, so that they are on the wall closest to the driver. We did this, and it ended up that we got to the new house at 2 a.m....and would have had to unload everything in order to get to the mattresses. Ended up going to a motel just so we could collapse into a bed after driving what seemed like a zillion miles. It was either that, or having to sleep on the floor.
I recently moved and used scarves, beach towels; kitchen towels...to wrap fragile items. Cardigan sweaters work great, too! I only used 1 roll of paper towels to wrap old crystal glasses. Worked great!
Kathleen
Even if the seller's furniture is not super wonderful, you can sell it. Bad stuff can be sold in a garage sale, better items can be put on FBMP or consigned. When I bought this place, I was offered the furniture and refused, since I had my own stuff. Now I realize that was a dumb mistake, bc I could have consigned everything and made some spare cash. But I didn't have a pickup truck and didn't want to fool with it .
As to the moving, make sure you label ALL the sides of your moving boxes!!!!! I did not do this and I had to put a lot of my stuff in storage for a year. When my helpers ignored my instructions and shoved everything into the storage unit any old way, without facing the labels to the front as directed, I couldn't tell which box held what. It was a really bad problem! They packed everything in there on top of everything else and there was no space to see the numbers and labels on the moving boxes. So we couldn't find the dishes, lost the box with the living room lamps, couldn't locate the hjoliday decorations that December and had to do without our Christmas tree, etc. It was horrible. Men, idiots that they are, rarely follow a woman's instructions and you have to allow for that.
Better half excels at packing things to fit but fails at packing like items in the same box. Labeling grade was a B.
When i was a little kid I loved the adventure of staying overnight with friends from my old town, old neighborhood. I had zero kids within miles of our new home/farm. My pals were cows, dogs and lots of barn kitties. I would cry happy tears when I got back home. My room, my desk, my books. Comfort.
Today I made freezer applesauce in the instapot. Peels and cores for acv. Picked 3 gallons of cucumbers for my sweet and spicy dills. Sanded my outdoor wood box and sealed it with a marine grade finish. Made a gallon of fresh salsa for dinner tonight.
Made cinnamon streusel zucchini bars for dessert.
I've made all the garlic dolls I need for this year. Would you share how to make the sweet and spicy dills?
The post-vacation recovery period is one of the reasons I've all but stopped taking vacations. The older I get, the more I appreciate my own house, my own bed, and my regular routines.
Now, FFT, NDN1 and My Teeth Edition:
(1) On the way out to NDN1's assisted living facility this morning, I dropped a nice fat check for the estate sale stuff into her bank.
(2) As I was walking NDN1 back from refilling her bird feeder (well, let's be honest, it's a squirrel feeder), I heard a "Hellooo!" from another resident's window. Lo and behold, it was the lovely Barbara of FFL library book sale fame, who now has her nursing degree and is working as a visiting nurse for a local agency that serves this facility. We were delighted to meet, and I was only sorry I had to keep it brief because I had an upcoming dentist appointment.
(3) The dentist appointment could have gone better from a financial POV: Long story short, (a) I need to have a crown replaced, and (b) I've been instructed to buy a Water Pik and start using it. However, my long-time dentist and old friend offered me a discounted rate on the crown (over and above the 5% discount for paying by check). And we got into ragging each other for the benefit of my new hygienist: He said, "A. Marie and I sort of have a thing going." I replied, "Listen, buddy, you're 10 years younger than I am, and I don't rob the cradle." General hilarity ensued.
(4) After I got home from the dentist, I met CF and her husband over at NDN1's house. When CF and I went through the house late last week after the estate sale phase was over, we were horrified to discover that four Asian rugs had not sold and might be going out with the junk. CF and I carried out the three smaller rugs at the time, but we needed CF's husband's help to get the 8' x 10' dining room rug out. All the rugs are now stored up off the floor in my garage while we consider next steps. CF and her hubs, who know a lot more about Asian rugs than I do, think it may well be worth getting the rugs cleaned and selling them directly ourselves for NDN1's benefit.
(5) And I don't have the entire world guessing about my hairpiece (what is that on his head recently, a dead weasel??), my physical health, or my cognitive condition.
I'm sorry about the dental costs but I'm glad your dentist is giving you a discount.
I'm not sure what's going on with the hairdo but I guess with anyone who will plaster that much orange makeup on his face, anything goes. Sheesh.
Good save in those rugs! I'm sure getting them cleaned will make a difference to buyers and will be well worth it.
I'm glad to finally be making plans to settle down now that we're back from our adventures overseas. It'll have to be delayed gratification, however, as we've moved for my husband's new job and are moving into an apartment this week. (Cutting it close as his job starts soon!)
I miss curling up on a familiar couch with a blanket that smells like the detergent that I've made. I miss checking my meal plans and getting excited that it's good, homemade food from my functional kitchen. I miss knowing which sounds are creepy and which ones are mundane.
I'm ready to curl up with my husband and make new memories in a new place while our kids play (hopefully without irritating the new neighbors).
I did finish listening to The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon! It was HEAVY with very dark topics but I really enjoyed it! The story follows Martha Ballard, a midwife in the late 1700- early 1800s who delivered over 1000 babies and didn't lose a single mother over the course of her long career. It's not a biography but it does borrow much from her life and even the day book she kept for 27+ years. It reminded me of Katy's books!
I loved Frozen River. She's a great writer.
My book club read The Frozen River and I loved it. Similar sentiments from other members of the book club. I also enjoyed A Midwife's Tale which includes her diary and historical topics from the era and area of Maine in which the book takes place. Both are wonderful reads.
I'm a home body too. I've been home all day, selling some things, listing a lot of things, doing some laundry. I will have to go out to take a package to the Fed Ex store, buyer on Vinted selected Fed Ex. Shipping is so much easier on Vinted. I've always sold on ebay but recently decided to give Vinted a try. I've been pleased with how easy it is to list items on Vinted, and the shipping process is easier-no weighing or measuring packages. The buyer pays all the fees and shipping, so when I list an item for an amount, I receive that whole amount. If anyone is interested, here's a link https://www.vinted.com/invite/repurpose5
Figs are ripening in our garden. I love that they come at the end of the summer when other things are slowing down. We still have a full drawer in the refrigerator of free apples. Enough green beans, kale, cucumbers and tomatoes to not have to go to the store, which suits my tendency to stay at home!
FFT:
1) Bought a new lawnmower but was able to use a credit card offer for a little rebate.
2) The new lawnmower is electric so I can pour the rest of the gas in the shed into my car.
3) Used the very thick, sturdy cardboard from the box to make a sunblocker for a large east-facing window that was letting a lot of heat into that part of the house. It's been over 100F here for weeks and will continue to be so at least until the end of this month. One day and I can already tell the difference in temp in that room.
4) Decided I didn't need to go grocery shopping after all. I figured out breakfasts and lunches this week with freezer finds and last week's groceries.
5) Finished an online class and the paperwork to get reimbursed by my job. Now I'm just waiting for the grade to be published on the website so I can prove that I did pass the course and can ask HR to please proceed with the reimbursement.
East, West, home is best.
I am 61 and find that my husband and I are being “peer pressured” quite regularly by our friends who love to travel. We could not care less about the opinions, but I find it interesting. We have traveled a fair bit in the past and don’t have a strong desire to go just for the sake of going. If there is an event we want to see, family wedding, etc., I am all in, but just to go “see the sights”, nope. We love our house and our life, and the older I get the more that the hassle portion of travel annoys me. I just had a week of staycation and it was great!
I just had a short trip to a family member’s memorial that was adversely impacted by flight delays both outbound and inbound. Let’s just say that Delta airlines and I are NOT friends. I had to scramble to rebook after they “delayed” the first leg of my outbound trip 3.5 hours (thus missing my next connection). I made it to the memorial but had to travel the day of. For my return trip I had a 5 hour delay for my final connection. I also experienced gate changes for both legs of my trip that involved a lot of trudging through the airports. That and the “delight” of being herded through TSA security in Minneapolis outbound made me so glad to finally get home and has discouraged me from making anymore air travel plans in the future.
I also have a cautionary tale. A good friend was traveling in the Dominican Republic and had a medical event that ultimately required a medavac. Not only was that extremely expensive, they found that the forms of payment that medavac would accept were limited and far exceeded the credit limits of the credit cards they had with them. Medavac would not take a wire transfer from their bank. They had trip insurance but medevac wanted payment up front. It took 2 days to work out the payments. Recently I was talking to my banker and he had a similar horror story about one of his customers who had to be medavaced from a Carribean island - it took 3 days for payments to clear (they had to charge the maximum on their credit cards, pay them off - rinse and repeat - but those transactions took valuable time). His customer paid $50k for medavac and trip insurance did process/pay the claim for over a year. It’s something I had never thought about when traveling outside the USA.
Delta is the worst carrier for delays and re-routing that I've ever flown. I was on a delta flight that lost an engine and made an emergency landing. Like a VERY emergency landing with the flight attendant literally on the floor. You'd think Delta would make an effort to rebook all of us in a timely manner. But no. It took me 48 hours to get from NC to CA, via GA and MN. Utterly ridiculous, not a single apology and I've never flown with Delta since
Oh my gosh - that is a dreadful story. While I was delayed I wrote their customer service and have yet to receive even a boiler plate response. I have to fly out of a smaller regional airport and Delta is notoriously bad with delays and cancellations that are not weather related. I feel for their gate agents - there were many justifiably disgruntled passengers on my final trip leg.
I had a day like that today, Katy! Just a flowy non-showy, glowy kind of day with tiny adventures with people I love.
1. My Daughter had a day off, a Doctor's appt, a lunch date with her Sister Outlaw (the GB's mom), and wanted time with me. Sounds like a plan!
In the morning, on her way to the Dr, she whipped by my house to get my car as it has the carseat. After her Dr and some town time and SOL time, she picked up GB (a first for her, everyone who needed to be was informed!) and brought him to me, as I was covering for #1 Son who was off on a job. That saved me a full hour of driving, which I used to full effect by watering in the big greenhouse, then picking more tomatoes, then more beans (took me more than an hour for all that, of course, however the hour I wasn't driving meant I got those chores done.
DD arrived, we had a lovely visit on the porch, GS woke up far too early, and then it was up and down to the field every 45 min to switch irrigation, some sheep feeding (GS insists, Jack-the-sheep also insists), a walk down the road with Katy's Special berry buckets to gather blackberries for yet more jam, some applesauce enjoyment, and some toast and the 'foam' from the jams I have been making. I love to eat that foam, and DD does too. GS preferred to eat the crusts I was cutting off his toast – and turned up his nose to Blackberry jam, although he probably ate 15 or 20 blackberries when we were picking. Go figure.
We drove GS back to his parents, then DD and I went out for a latish dinner (on a deck above the ocean – we always just have water to keep the costs down). Then home to switch yet another irrigation over, fill DD's bag with jams, blackberries, a slice of pie, all the beans I picked and two big bags of plums.
2. I got another lovely visit from #2 son, who has decided that, after doing a lot of guilt-driven garden chores with his dad, he wanted to spend some time with the parent he actually enjoys spending time with – and do some chores with me. WOWZA, my heart!
He and I put one of my freezer pies in the toaster oven, I cooked up some eggs and hashbrowns and sausage (freezer emptying activities) and after we ate he and I cut up all of the green (and yellow and purple and even pink!) beans that I have harvested this week. He washed several dozen pint canning jars, and we put 20 of into the pressure canner, full of beans. It was two 'runs' in the canner, and feels so great to get all those jars because both #2 son and I love canned beans. We use them in soups and in bean salads.
3. His girlfriend then arrived, I fed her, and we ate some pie. Then we geared up and went and picked the chicken run prune plum, and started on the very very very productive chicken run purple plum (don't know what they are but they are the same colour as prune plums, round, semi freestone, and grow in clusters. Many many clusters). We filled two large boxes with plums, and added the new prune plums to the ones picked last week. I'm researching ways to enjoy now and in the future (I'll dehydrate a lot of the prune plums, when they get riper, however they are an in-hand eating favourite of my sons so I don't get a lot to dry. The other plums might be a bit more work to get off the pit. Time for a new playlist!)
4. I sent plums, zucchini and tomatoes with his GF as she was off to stay with her Mom. #2 Son took a handful of plums, only two tomatoes, and some eggs when he went home. He is going to France for a conference (lucky kid) then holidaying in Switzerland and Italy, and his GF isn't much for cooking, so he doesn't want to take things that won't get used, unfortunately.
5. Not so frugal - I got the bill from my Electrician for the new baseboard heaters in my barn loft – ouch. I'd already had a big bill for the well water service, as well as sorting out some income tax instalments, so this month has my belt pretty tight and we are only halfway through. Good thing I don't need much other than some milk: the freezer and pantry and garden has more than enough to feed me!
EcoTerri, if the plums are smaller. They are great for plum tarts or cakes. My NY family call these "Italian plums". We used to be able to find them in grocery store, but no more. (Bummer) Keep your plums thriving
In the late summer every year, we baked a yeast dough cake that featured the plums on top. Thanks for helping me remember one of my Mom's favorite cakes. - Ellie in AR
Oh YUM! a Yeast cake with plums.. (hey google....)
I bumped into one of the friends upon whom I had pressed more plums than she thought she wanted. She waxed lyrical about how delicious they were. Since we were only a couple of miles from my place, I suggested she drop by to get more before she goes home. There are, after all, still more on the tree.
The one plum we have is an Italian prune plum.... the other I don't know what it is because it is round...
Coming home is always great. One of my favorite things about not working was the ability to really slowly get back into my life after a trip - I find it much harder when I'm working. I'll be excited to have more of a chance to "recover" after travel when I'm done working here soon.
I really do enjoy staying at home. I do enjoy traveling, although it's never without complications, even on the smoothest trips. You are somewhere new, in unfamiliar territory, not in your own house, held hostage to the demands of airlines & hotels, etc. Plenty of chance for something to go wrong.
I love traveling, but also love coming back home to my bed, shower, and unlimited coffee.
Looks like y'all had a great time!
I really enjoyed your vacation posts. The last post showing the $15 off cards where you got $16 dollar salads was nice! I love making good deals happen.
I am in a season of life where I am busy. I am going into my second semester of college for my master's degree, my son is in his senior year of high school. Life in general is just busy. Making my time very valuable. A few weeks ago an elderly woman I met a few years ago when I was delivering DoorDash calls me and asks if I can come help her with a few things. She just got out of a care facility after two months from a falling incident. She lives alone and has a few dedicated neighbors helping her with groceries, mail, and taking out the trash. She can no longer get to the rest room. She's living in a lift chair in her living room, and stands just long enough to toilet herself. She is depressed. Her older son just passed away. She's a mess. She has another son who doesn't visit, and an adult grand daughter who wont visit. I've tried to talk to her about her asking them to visit or have her move in. She wont. She doesn't want to be a burden to them.
I've gone over once a week for two weeks and was summoned again yesterday and said I'd stop by for an hour today. Last week's hour ended up being close to three, she will keep asking you to do things for her. She also admitted to me one neighbor called social services on her, but she got the place tidied up enough that nothing happened. IE social services didn't remove her from her home.
She says she's not in a great place financially because her home is paid off but she has no cash. She thought she would have good health to work full or part time and pay other bills while living in her home for free. She claims she cant afford to live in a care facility it would quickly bankrupt her and then she doesn't know where she would go.
I want to back out of this, but feel extremely guilty. Of course, I wonder, who else is helping her the several other days I am not visiting? I said I would visit and help. I've now somehow become a part time caregiver helping with toileting and laundry, going through paper work, and taking out the trash. Yesterday she sent me a photo of her deceased son, and told me it was also her birthday, while in the same breadth asking me to come over and help her again. I feel incredibly guilted by this. My good friend and son both feel I am being emotionally played to continue.
I believe I am enabling the inevitable which is that she needs to get a caregiver or live in a facility that can give her care. This is unsustainable. I'm sure she knows this.
How would you politely end this affair?
Block her. You don't want to be liable for paperwork errors, or worse, her falling when you are helping her. Report her to social services and block her.
Ashley, you are such a good person. The next (and last!) time you're there - or even before - gently and politely let her know that you are unable to continue in your caregiving role. Do not give a reason as that will only prolong the discussion. Remind her of the other resources she has available to her and wish her all the best.
Oh Ashley, your kindness is palpable through this screen. You MUST put aside your guilt and put yourself and your family first. Although the elderly lady may not realize it, you have an emotional vampire clinging to you and she is sucking out your physical and mental energy. You could tell her very honestly that your home life, your school life and your son's senior year is making it impossible for you to continue going to her house to assist her. Personally, I feel that assisting someone with toileting is going way above and beyond what someone met through Doordash should be even thinking of doing. Kindly but firmly tell her your own life leaves you no choice but to discontinue "visiting" her. If she offers you money, do not accept it!!! You are a compassionate person so please put your guilt aside and let go of this situation.
To update, I went to the woman's house last night but let her know in writing before that I couldn't continue to come after this, that she needed to talk to her family and her insurance about getting an in home caregiver or other arrangements. She was back and forth mood wise employing a lot of guilt on me about coming. She now claims she needs me for just a few more weeks and might have an old coworker with COPD coming to help her and live with her in September. I kept suggesting she ask for more help from family or insurance and she just refuses. She made fun of health care workers, and continued to say there was nothing insurance or he family could do. Yet somehow I can? I can't be free housekeeping and medical care. Thank you your supportive responses here.
You're doing the right thing Ashley. I know from experience it's hard to be firm with people who are expecting too much from you and try to pile on the guilt with the old "but I have no one else" story which may be true but then it is up to the state to make the decisions. I can tell I'm older than you by you having a child still in high school so as a mother/aunt/grandmother might say "I'm proud of you!"
Ashley, I'm proud of you too! You have gone well above and beyond and did the right thing. Thanks for the update; I've been thinking about you.
Katy, love your round up of vacation "souvenirs". I thought maybe you were going to save the tiny jars of jam for future gifts or stocking stuffers. They are adorable!