Is a Non-Consumer Christmas Even Possible?

by Katy on October 3, 2011 · 99 comments

Christmas Boys

The following post is an answer to a question posted over at The Non-Consumer Advocate Facebook group from Donna who asked about “Getting extended family on board for a non-consumer Christmas?”

 

The calendar may say October 3rd, but for many Americans, the Christmas season is already starting to ramp up. The lead-up to Christmas, rife with incessant elevator music-style carols, family pressures and animatronic swiveling-hipped Santas make me hate Christmas. Big time. However, I don’t want to pass this attitude along to my sons.

I guess a little background is in order. I am Jewish, but my mother isn’t and we always had a Christmas tree and visits from Santa Clause when I was growing up. My husband is not religious in any way, although his parents grew up going to church. Having neither Jesus nor consumerism in my life, Christmas is more a stressful chore than anything else. We do not exchange Chanukah gifts.

For many people, the pressure to participate in expensive gift giving or to happily receive cluttery unwanted gifts can be an annual burden.

So . . . should you just grit your teeth and smile through a season of giving up on your frugal and simple living goals?

No.

Now is the time to start those conversations with family members. Talk to your parents, your siblings, your spouse. That well meaning friend who overwhelms you with expensive gifts. But here’s the key, don’t simply suggest an abrupt stop to gift giving. You might try suggesting a replacement of your normal gift giving tradition with something else. Some families have tried the “handmade gifts only” route, or only giving to kids or simply drawing names.

For my family, the ramping down of Christmas gift giving was a series of conversations. My father and step-mother were very happy to stop exchanging gifts and to just give to the grandkids, as were my sister and brother-in-law. However, my mother and step-father were horrified at the notion, so we do still exchange adult gifts with them. My in-laws wanted no part in a stop of buying gifts for their adult children. So . . some progress.

The way that I keep Christmas under control is to stick with my normal shopping habits, even when it’s for gift giving. I still shop at thrift stores, look for cheap deals online, (like theater tickets) and I allow myself to be less than perfect. My husband and I differ on this, and we end up conflicted on how to provide a positive Christmas experience for the kids without dropping hundreds of dollars. He already knows that I will return pretty much any and all expensive gifts that I receive. (One year he bought me my own copy of The Complete Tightwad Gazette and a $150 purse. Guess which one went back to the store?)

I guess I don’t really have a definitive answer on how to put a Non-Consumer Christmas together.

Has your family found ways to usher Non-Consumerism into your traditions? Please share your ideas in the comments section below.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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Decluttering Inspiration

by Katy on October 2, 2011 · 16 comments

From the Member Comments section from the October 2011 Costco Connection Magazine:

“After discovering that my married children don’t want any of my stuff, I have been letting go of many cherished items. I couldn’t believe how difficult it has been. Your article gave me the insight to realize that it’s OK to feel emotional about parting with things, and to feel mentally and physically exhausted during the process is normal. Reading this article made me feel much better and gave me the impetus to tackle this project.”

I love this. So many people avoid difficult tasks, as they worry they could be mentally difficult. The idea that this is “OK” is a great and inspiring message.

I think I’ll go work on my dumping ground of a bedroom now, even though the mere thought of it makes me want to curl up in a ball and suck my thumb.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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Working on That Last 10%

by Katy on October 1, 2011 · 16 comments

90% of a project is always doable, it’s the last 10% that will menace you for years to come. Perhaps there’s a part you don’t know how to complete, or maybe there’s simply a supply you don’t have. Either way, it’s easy to leave projects unfinished and yes, 90% completed.

I’m normally not a proponent of feng shui, (I’m too cynical to believe in the power of magical thinking) but there’s something to be said about having places in one’s home that unconsciously make you feel bad.

It takes energy to mask the thoughts of “Crap, I need to deal with that” every time you pass by an unfinished project. This is why I am loving my current focus on finishing up household projects.

So far I have:

  • Touched up the paint on the kitchen cupboards, which was badly chipping.
  • Painted the trim at the top of the stairs. My husband had primed some of it, and then stopped for some reason.
  • Took down the leaded glass doors of our built-in buffet and then scraped/scrubbed off the paint from the glass. And I even put them back up again!
  • Finally installed the drawer pulls on the built-in’s drawers. I bought these on eBay, oh . . . around ten years ago.
  • Refinished my bedside table.
  • Repainted one of the walls in the living room. The couch used to back up to this particular wall, and as result, it was horribly grubby. (Adorable, yet filthy hands do not improve one’s paint finish.)

None of these projects are anything that anyone else would notice as improved, but to me they are a huge release from feeling crappy about the myriad of 90% spaces in my home.

No longer will I walk through my living room and have thoughts about the filthy wall, and when I cook I no longer will be staring at a hole in the wall. And perhaps, maybe perhaps I can convert that 10% of annoyed mental energy into something positive, like ushering in world peace or setting fire to the piles of paperwork that plague my dining room.

Hey, I never said I was perfect.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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Whole Hog Frugality — No Deprivation Required

by Katy on September 30, 2011 · 13 comments

Sometimes even I get overwhelmed by the extra work involved with living the frugal life. A stressful day would get easier if I just drove my post-soccer practice sons through Burgerville, and a cleaning service would be a more than welcome addition to my life.

But I don’t practice any of that. I somehow whip together countless homemade meals and I’m working on accepting that my house is always kind of a bit grubby.

Whole hog frugality can be an intimidating beast. A deprivation mindset is stressful, and saying no to a spouse, your children and yourself is not fun. The key is to find frugal hacks to replace formerly spendy habits.

Here are some of my favorite work arounds to replace expensive habits:

  • Accustomed to going to lunch with friends? Instead get together for coffee, with a coupon. Then . . .  get the drip coffee. Just visualize the money you just saved sitting snugly in your pocket.
  • Have a tradition of holding your kids’ birthday parties at expensive locations? Instead plan a party in the park, or better yet, in your home. I held my son’s 11th arcade birthday party at home, and it was a huge success. We borrowed TVs and video game systems from friends and neighbors, and set up our air hockey table in the living room. And party favors? We handed out comic books from Free Comic Book Day. Of course, I made the cake from scratch.
  • Use shopping as a relaxation tool? Replace that expensive habit with a browse at the library, or take unwanted clothing to a consignment shop and trade it in for new stuff without spending a penny. An alcoholic is advised to stay out of bars, and I suggest that you stay out of tempting shops.
  • Love to throw dinner parties? How about swapping that out for brunch. A low cost frittata can feed many people, and you can get away without serving booze. When people ask “What can I bring?” make sure you have an answer.
  • Take advantage of all the great free activities that your community offers. Think that outdoor concerts are your only option? (I hate outdoor concerts, as it kills my back to sit on the ground, plus I hate crowds.) Free Night of Theater is currently upon us, and I am constantly amazed by how many fantastic free opportunities my city has to offer. Do a Swagbucks search for “free + name of your city” and you might be surprised to find a blog entirely devoted to the subject.
  • Get to know your neighbors. This is important not only for your own safety and security, but you can watch one another’s pets for free and borrow everything from garlic to wheelbarrows from one another.
  • Allow yourself permission to just hang out at home. There’s no reason why weekends have to be filled with out-and-about-ness, and what’s better than having your own fridge at hand when hunger strikes?
  • Celebrate the less than perfect. And then laugh off your frugal fails.

I strongly feel that choosing a frugal life is a fun and creative challenge. There is no satisfaction in filling up a big red cart at Target. Anyone can do that, and frankly, I don’t want that crap in my home.

There is no deprivation in my life, even though I haven’t flown anywhere since 2005 and my home is filled with stuff I pulled from free piles.

Whole Hog Frugality is actually rather fabulous.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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Austere Dumpy Beauty on $17,000 per Year

by Katy on September 29, 2011 · 26 comments

I somehow missed the fantastic In Maine, Gifts From The Sea and The Landfill NY Times article, which ran on August 31st and profiled the home of Michael Fleming, Jennifer Wurst and their adorable toddler son. Despite the couple living on $17,000 a year, their home is stunning.

Their decorating secret?

Hauling stuff home from the dump.

“Ms. Wurst’s favorite shopping site: a parked trailer at the Phippsburg dump.

“Some days it’s pure excitement, running back to the car to unload armfuls of stuff, only to go back for more!” she wrote in an e-mail. “It’s amazing what people throw out. I have found completely new (still in packaging) items such as my Bodum tea press/pot and even down throw pillows (still in packaging) and a fabulous ’50s-style wall-mounted can opener.”

She added, “It’s perfectly suited for the pantry in this house and we needed one and it was free.”

And the dump, she noted, “has the best return policy.”

I think I’m in love. Then again, I’ve always felt that separating oneself from consumerism awakens a style of creativity that otherwise lies dormant for the West Elm crowd.

Click HERE to read the entire article, which features a fantastic slideshow. And keep an eye on the photo of their bedroom. I really like how the the husband’s shirts are stored. Almost sculptural.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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Right Now, I am . . .

by Katy on September 28, 2011 · 18 comments

Today’s post is inspired by The Frugal Girl, who in turn was inspired by Soule Mama.

Today I am . . .

Grateful that my back seems to be on the mend. Last time I injured my back, I was out of work for three months and laying sideways on the couch for an entire month. So I was kind of freaking out.

Amazed with how easy it was to get the kids off to school today. Yesterday was full of drama, and it’s amazing what a difference a day can make.

Impressed with how my sons’ teachers can do such an incredible job with such little district support. My older son’s high school art teacher has an annual supply budget of $0, which I find to be unconscionable.

Kind of grossed out by how dirty my kitchen floor is at the moment. I’ve never been good about keeping it clean, but I may have a hit a new low.

Looking forward to running a few errands today, as I haven’t really left the house for more than a few minutes since Saturday.

Proud that I caught up on the family’s laundry last night, even though it meant I needed to use the electric dryer.

Defensive that I need to explain that my husband has been fighting a bad cold, yet still going to work every day. This is why he hasn’t been picking up the slack.

Anxious, yet excited about a national TV thing that will be filming at the house sometime in the next few weeks. I am hoping that it will open up some great opportunities for me.

Feeling guilty about how I am apparently unable to stay on top of my CSA box. I know I could give away, preserve or Freecycle the produce, but it simply wasn’t my priority this week.

Pleased with all the small home improvement projects that I’ve been busying myself with. The house will look super cute when the TV cameras arrive.

Resigned that summer is actually over. The leaves covering the backyard attest to this truth.

Amazed that my older son is about to turn sixteen. And relieved that he has zero interest in learning to drive.

Happy.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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The Limitations of Perfection

by Katy on September 27, 2011 · 26 comments

The following is a reprint of a previously published post. Enjoy!

 

I know it’s not popular to admit this, but I want to be perfect. I want the perfect house, perfect kids, perfect blog and to be the perfect nurse. (I am about as far from these goals as I am to being crowned 2011 Miss Teen USA.)

The harsh reality is that my house is always a bit of a mess, my kids can be Bickersons, my blog is rarely exactly as I want it, and there is no such thing as the perfect nurse.

I have a tendency to procrastinate starting big tasks and goals until I feel I can do them perfectly, which can easily mean never accomplishing anything.

A prime example of this was the garage sale I held this past Saturday. I wanted to wait until I had completely gone through the house, but I realized this goal was lofty to the point of becoming a barrier. So I simply set a date and did my best. I worked both Thursday and Friday, so there wasn’t going to be an micro-organization going on. I pushed the living room furniture against the walls and piled up the garage sale-worthy items.

It wasn’t pretty, and I only culled through about one-third of what I’d hoped to.

I did make signs Thursday evening, and placed craigslist ads on Friday. I unfortunately only priced about half of the items, but I was bushed and couldn’t get through everything. I figured I would price the merchandise after setting everything out. A steady three hour mob of enthusiastic customers interfered with this plan, and I could tell that some people were frustrated by the seemingly random pricing.

But here’s the thing — if I had waited to hold a garage sale until I could do everything perfectly it would never have happened. Just like if I had waited to start this blog until it could be perfectly written the result would be the same. No blog.

But you know what? No one but me knew that I hadn’t tackled the entire closet full of board games, or that I had wanted to set up a specific cashier’s table.

I still made $400, every penny of which is headed into my savings account. I call this a success. (Not to mention my house is happier with the clutter diminishment!)

The barrier of perfection may be obvious to some, but I am only recently coming to terms with it. My tendency is to not entertain unless I can get the get the house into a Martha Stewart worthy state, which essentially means never having anyone over. I consciously fight this instinct in order to enjoy the company of my friends and family.

I wonder if others put off the things they want to do because they’re waiting until it can be done perfectly? Please tell me I’m not the only one!

Do you hold yourself to a level of perfection that stifles your accomplishments? Please share your experiences in the comments section below.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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Fabulous Frugal Find — Garden Bench

by Katy on September 25, 2011 · 3 comments

 

It’s time again for Fabulous Frugal Finds, (F.F.F.) where readers send in their rather fantastic secondhand finds to share with The Non-Consumer Advocate community.

Today’s rather fabulous find comes from Jennifer Lorenzetti of Fast, Cheap and Good, whose backyard bench went from neighbor’s broken discard to Martha-esque perfection:

 

The only thing I regretted about the addition of the Key West sunroom was that one of the new walls eliminated the little stoop that I used to sit on to do little garden tasks, like snapping beans, braiding garlic, or stripping the flowers off dried lavender.  It was a sunny, sheltered little spot that I really enjoyed.
Lucky for me, our suburban neighborhood seems to be really good about sitting useful but unwanted things out to the curb.  We’ve salvaged a large footed planter bed that way, and we just got rid of an unwanted patio chair by sitting it out by the curb.  Everyone seems to drive by the freebie item for a couple of days until it is clear that it is up for grabs, and then someone claims it.

Last year, after the sunroom was installed, I expressed the need for a bench on which to sit and snap my beans.  Lo and behold, the next week a neighbor set out an old rocker bench, on which the bottom rocker was broken.  After we drove by it for a couple of days, we picked it up.

Mr. FC&G removed the bottom rocker, and then the weather turned cold.  The icy winter did a nice job of removing any remaining stain on the bench, and I had plans to paint it in March or April.  But we did not have two days of good weather back to back for over two months, and then my schedule got busy as well.

Finally, I manage to get four cans of spray paint (two of which we bought with a gift card) and I gave the bench a couple of good coats and moved it by a sunny wall just outside the sunroom.  For a total expenditure of $8.50 in paint, I now have a lovely little bench to sit on while I snap my beans.

The Analysis

Fast:  The project did take a little time for removal of the broken parts and painting, but it was all a pleasant task.

Cheap:  A total investment of $17 in spray paint, for which we only were out of pocket for $8.50.  I could have purchased cheaper paint, but I did want the kind and coverage that came in the spray cans.

Good: This is now one of my favorite outdoor spots, and certainly adds a bit of charm to the container garden area.

 

Thank you very much to Jennifer for sharing her F.F.F. If you want to submit your stuff, please e-mail the story including a good quality photo of yourself posing with your find to nonconsumer@comcast.net.

And please enjoy these previous Fabulous Frugal Find posts:

Vintage Hostess Cart

High End Designer Furniture

Hand Knotted Oriental Rug

Fancy Velvet Dresses

Pot Belly Stove

Free Girl’s Sleeping Bag

Patio Set

Priceless $1 Painting

Rejuvenation Light Shade

Glamour Edition

Roseville Vase

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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Princess Katy and the Bedside Table

by Katy on September 24, 2011 · 32 comments

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. (For the sake of the story, we’re going to call her “Katy.”) Princess Katy was the proud owner of a table. You might have called it a console table, or even a desk, but for the princess, it was a bedside table. Sadly, this table had no finish on it, which meant that when the young princes drew all over the side of the table, her ladies in waiting were unable to remove the offending ink marks.

So the sweet middle aged princess threw a vintage tablecloth over the table and went on with her royal duties of picking out hats and posing for pictures with ill children.

But then, the Princess Katy got cable TV and watched a large amount of HGTV. She was full of inspiration and decided to refinish the table. With a sander borrowed from the hunky middle-aged Prince Dale, she set to work.

Armed with wood stain from the Queen Mum and oil finish from her own basement, the princess set to work. Although the hands-on time was minimal it took quite awhile, as her royal duties were numerous.

When the oil finish finally dried, the princess placed diamond knobs on the drawer, which she had garbage picked off an abandoned vanity.

The Princess Katy was very pleased with her bedside table, and felt she could finally focus her attention on important royal matters such as shenanigans with the stable boy and pleasing the Queen Mum.

Which is how it should be.

The end.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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Can’t Remember to be Frugal?

by Katy on September 23, 2011 · 12 comments

Do you make solemn vows of frugality only to find yourself inadvertently forking over fistfuls of cash at the mall? Keep forgetting that you’re on budget? Then you need the new-fangled, patent pending crap-in-a-shoe frugality reminder kit!

Because while going through old papers this evening, I came across this wedding announcement clipping from 1988:

“AnnaLiese Megan LaBlond of Philomath sewed 1,000 antique pearls on her gown for her marriage to Timothy John Keck, also of Philomath. Their September 5 wedding took place at the Peavy Lodge in the Peavy Arboretum, Corvallis. The bride’s stepfather placed an Indian head penny and a World War II meat ration coupon in her shoe to remind her to be frugal.“

Perhaps the stepfather should have intervened when she got the not-so-frugal idea of incorporating “1000 antique pearls on her gown.”

News of the frugally bizarre — I *lurve* it!

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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