The Penis in my Kitchen

by Katy on March 16, 2016 · 18 comments

Aunt Penis

I like to use deadlines to finish up projects and slick the house into shape, as it’s nice to occasionally have the entire house clean at once. Everything swept, mopped, dusted and arranged just so. I’ve worked very hard through the years to declutter and the house reflects this effort. Hosting a Japanese exchange student this week was the perfect opportunity to let my home shine.

Of course, there’s always something.

You may remember that I painted one of my kitchen cabinets with chalkboard paint a few years ago, which at this point barely catches my attention. And until recently, it read “We miss aunt Jessie.” Somehow the name “Jessie” was replaced by a certain member of the male anatomy, which didn’t bother me. (As a labor and delivery nurse, I have a high tolerance for bodily humor.) However . . . not exactly what I would have chosen to display for our Japanese exchange student.

It took until the second day of Kentaro’s visit for me to notice that we had the word “penis” proudly displayed in the kitchen. I’m not sure if he noticed, but I’m certainly sure that I won’t be asking him.

Good thing that I have the sense of humor, right?

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Susanne g March 16, 2016 at 9:52 am

Maybe this would be a good time to mention that I walked five pounds of smashed cans to the scrap yard and received one whole dollar. The price of aluminum is down to $.20 a pound, less than one cent per can. I was expecting, and wrote in the comments here, that the price was .50 a pound, 25 cans per pound.

The payoff is only in cleaner streets. Which is ok, but after bending down over 125 times, $1 seems so sad.


tonya parham March 17, 2016 at 5:25 am

I don’t know, bending over is good for your back, keeps you flexible. The streets are cleaner. And it’s a dollar you didn’t have before. Win-win-win!


Lori March 16, 2016 at 9:53 am

That is SO funny! And now I want to paint one of my kitchen cabinets like a chalkboard too.


Erin Brain Stead March 16, 2016 at 10:06 am

Hahaha! Gave me a good laugh.


Kim March 16, 2016 at 11:18 am

As a critical care RN I also have a high tolerance for body humor! I also live with 11 and 13 yo boys so our house is nothing but penis and fart jokes these days so I commiserate and laugh with you at the same time! My 11 y/o asked me yesterday if you can pee with a boner! I didn’t even know he knew that word. I’m only glad they are comfortable enough to ask their mom such questions and that after I pick myself up off the ground from fits of laughter I can answer them.


Jennifer March 16, 2016 at 11:25 am



Linda M March 16, 2016 at 11:44 am

The post itself and Kim’s son’s question has me rolling on the floor
…too funny! You see, I am a Granny and enough years away from this stuff to have perspective. And, trust me, this humorous is priceless!


Odette March 16, 2016 at 11:50 am

I have tears from laughing so hard (at work!)!


cathy March 16, 2016 at 2:16 pm

Kim, I have two teenage boys and I don’t think either one has ever asked that question! That is hilarious. I love that he felt comfortable enough to ask you, though. OK, wiping my tears from laughing so hard…


Jaci L March 16, 2016 at 3:49 pm

LOL Priceless… I have informed our son, all penis questions shall be redirected to Dad, as Dad posses the equipment and knowledge to answer those questions. He said why? I said would you take a car to the veterinarian or the mechanic? LOL! He said, well duh, the mechanic, he knows about cars…. I said YUP and the dad knows about penises!


A. Marie March 16, 2016 at 1:21 pm

Katy, I see that your houseguest has immortalized your black cat on Twitter. Which leads me to ask: Do your cats embarrass you the way all six of ours (from 1979 to the present) have embarrassed us, by plunking down in the middle of the living room floor and giving themselves a thorough butt-cleaning in front of company? Inquiring minds want to know. (In other words, do DH and I just have undersocialized cats, or is this a universal feline trait?)


Katy March 16, 2016 at 8:04 pm

I think I’m immune to it at this point.


JD March 17, 2016 at 5:19 am

Totally different situation, but I used to have a big fat orange ballpoint pen that I loved to write with. It had been given to me, and wrote so smoothly. I was at the grocery store with my list, and as I was shopping, dug out my pen to mark off items on my list and keep a running total of what I was spending. I had perused an aisle or two without putting anything in my cart, when I looked down and realized what I was holding in my hand was not my pen, but a tampon.


Katy March 17, 2016 at 7:43 am

That made me laugh!


Diane C March 17, 2016 at 4:46 pm

Does your sister (or SIL) know her name’s been changed?


Katy March 17, 2016 at 5:23 pm

She does now!


cheapRN March 17, 2016 at 4:48 pm

Katy, I just had to laugh at your post! I too live in a household with 2 teenage boys. And just like you, ended up with funny things being written on my chalkboard grocery list on the pantry door. Since I shop at several different stores, I always write the store in parentheses behind it–so one day we needed “Big Butts” from BB’s and the next day “Weird People” from WalMart! After that it was a perfect rendition of the A-Team van right smack in the middle of the list. Always something fun and interesting with those boys! Gotta love it!


Nancy from Mass March 18, 2016 at 8:43 am

Did you ever stop to think that maybe he wrote it? Maybe someone in Japan told him it meant happy or something! (april fools joke early)


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