No FOMO Here!

by Katy on March 18, 2012 · 20 comments

If you’re on Facebook, it’s hard not to suffer from a generous helping of F.O.M.O., (“Fear of Missing Out.”) Your friends are lying poolside in Hawaii, accomplishing bodily perfection at Crossfit and then enjoying drinks with their many, many friends. Meanwhile, you’re slumped in front of Storage Wars while heading into week two of a nasty cold that provides an ungodly amount of mucous. (Sadly, a real example from my current life.)

Luckily, I don’t have to fear that I’m missing out. I know I’m missing out!

However, my mother is currently on her spring break from grad school in Nebraska, which means that I have someone to take me to lunch, listen to me vent  and partner up with for guest cottage cleanings sessions.

And afterwards, when I have to drive across town to pick up my son, it’s the perfect opportunity to stop into the neighborhood Goodwill. And whattayaknow? There’s a great globe, perfect for the globe-upcycled-into-hanging-lamp project that I’ve been  wanting to construct! And even better, they charge me $2.99 instead of the marked $4.99, as it’s missing the base.

And my evening then consists of constructing said light fixture instead of slumping. And frankly, I’d rather be doing this than lounging poolside in Hawaii, sweating at Crossfit or drinking with friends.

I guess I’m not missing out after all.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

EcoCatLady March 18, 2012 at 9:25 am

FOMO… that’s a great term. I used to suffer from it big time. Took me years to realize that all the “fun” you see out there isn’t necessarily as “fun” as it looks. It’s like our minds create great little marketing pieces for how great and wonderful we imagine that “everybody else” has it, but we never think about all of the “un-wonderful” realities that come with “having it all.”

I used to be afraid I’d be missing out if I was at home while “everybody else” was “out” having a good time. But now I feel like they’re the ones missing out on the opportunity for quiet relaxation and having a real connection with the one they love.

Perhaps this is just evidence that I’m becoming a fuddy duddy, but when I think about “missing out” on a trip to Hawaii, I think… yup I’m missing out alright… missing the opportunity to stress over packing and getting to the airport on time, missing out on getting to stand in line and go through airport security, missing out on having to eat all that airplane food, missing the motion sickness and 5-day migraine that the plane ride will surely induce, missing the fun of the airline losing my luggage, missing an endless stream of interrogating waiters to be sure there’s nothing I’m allergic to in the food, missing the sunburns, missing stressing over cellulite and bathing suits, missing all the hours of work that earning the money for the trip would cost….

The truth is, I really like my simple little life, and I don’t want to miss out on getting to enjoy it!


Linda in Indiana March 18, 2012 at 9:31 am

Katy, hope you get feelin’ much better. I think you have a great balance in your life and know that the “grass is the greenest at home” and are busy creating your own economical “heaven on earth”. As far as I’m concerned–you, rock girl!!! Again, hope you get better quickly and I love the world globe light idea!


Katy March 18, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Aww, thanks!



Kymm March 18, 2012 at 9:52 am

It’s all in your perspective. I used to worry some that, with my simple wants and needs and honest-to-goodness lack of caring about a lot of what other folks pant over, that I was missing out. I’m so not. I have a pretty darn good life overall, one in which less is better, where the emphasis is on enjoying what there is, and focusing on good people and good experiences instead of stuff.

I wouldn’t mind a bit more travel, but things are not bad at all in my corner of the world.


Alison March 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Kymm, I second you! Less really is more 🙂


Lisa March 18, 2012 at 10:02 am

Hey, at least I quit drinking!


Katy March 18, 2012 at 10:11 am

Hawaii? Check. Crossfit? Check. Really challenging kids? Check.

I love ya’ Lisa, but worry not, I know you deserve your Hawaiian vacations.




Lisa March 18, 2012 at 10:15 am

Awww. <3
…Yet, you did not check "bodily perfection!" Hmph. 🙂


Su Mama March 18, 2012 at 10:31 am

I have a really nice life, a rich life with wonderful husband, daughters, grandchildren, siblings, dog, friends, house and all. Everyone’s smart, everyone’s healthy. At this age, I can pretty much do what I jolly well feel like doing.

But when I get on Facebook, well . . . . Everybody seems to be having a FABULOUS time, in FABULOUS places, wearing FABULOUS clothes, sporting FABULOUS hair (and shoes), with their FABULOUS, good-looking platoons of friends!

A certain daughter of mine, ahem, pointed out that one’s Facebook friends are unlikely to post pix of themselves when they’re NOT having that GREAT time, etc. I don’t want to trade places with them, or anyone else. Still and all, there’s the occasional twinge-y feeling of not being invited to the party, isn’t there? Human nature, I reckon.


average guy March 18, 2012 at 10:53 am

>>If you’re on Facebook
I can stop right there! ’cause I am _not_ on FB. What a royal waste of time, and, IMHO, FB as a company is totally untrustworthy.

People who have FB accounts are _not_ FB’s customers. FB’s customers are the advertisers and marketers who use your data. FB users are giving their data to FB for free! Free to FB, so FB can sell it to marketers and advertisers.

FB is the modern fad equivalent of CB radios, of teen magazines about starlets at Hollywood parties, of the town gossip party line, of daytime TV soap operas. Who needs it?

Not me. I’d do something, live my life.


Megg March 18, 2012 at 11:57 am

I struggled with that a lot recently. I found a picture that says “Comparison is the thief of joy” and put it on my phone as the background, to remind me. I still sometimes get jealous…this person’s pregnant, this one’s going on vacation every 3-6 months, this one has the job I want (a children’s librarian in a public library).
Now, it’s OK. Sure I’m not going on vacation every 3-6 months, but when I do, I’ve saved up for it, and won’t be accumulating debt. I unfriended that particular FB friend (for more reasons than just the vacation) so I’m not seeing her life anymore. I’m learning to enjoy my childless life right now. I don’t have to have a baby just because everyone else my age is doing it. It’s really freeing.


Joanna March 18, 2012 at 12:32 pm

well, everyone’s life is fantastic on Fakebook. (I totally stole that from my cousin. Who, not being that original herself, probably stole it from someone else.) 🙂

I’m thinking about taking another Facebook sabbatical. Just quietly shutting it down for a couple of months. I don’t know about anyone else, but I just cannot get on there and control myself. Before I know it, I’m looking at pictures of people I don’t know or trying to divine the hidden messages behind those cryptic status updates. Gah…so shameful.


Linda March 18, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I kind of solved that problem by not going onto Facebook. I am not a big user of the computer (except work, read your blog and The Frugal Girl). I do like to go on vacation and sitting by a pool in Hawaii sounds great but I love my life and when I do go on vacation…which I do once a year, it’s paid for. No credit cards needing to be paid off for the next 10 months.

This year, we are driving for our vacation down to Florida to visit my father and my sister-in-law. We are taking another family vacation by meeting said sister-in-law in Mrytle Beach for a weekin the summer. We scored a condo for $275 for the week at a fund raising auction. Great deal and the whole family is going to go on vacation. Not bad!


Linda March 18, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I can’t wait to see the globe lamp.
Is it going in the room with the vintage map shades? Or is that too much map for one room?


Rachel Gillespie March 18, 2012 at 4:42 pm

You’re only missing out if you think you are or if you want to be doing those things! Otherwise you’re having a great time and a great life doing other things. The fact that so many people follow your blog means that people are just as keen to read all about what you do, even though it’s not poolside in Hawaii.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just ask the waiter to bring me another cocktail, here by the pool … oops, just dreaming … 🙂


Katy March 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm

What, you didn’t sneak in your own flask?! It’s the frugal thing to do! 😉



Lauren March 18, 2012 at 5:17 pm

I love FB, but I don’t take any of it too seriously anymore. A few months ago, I read a Miss Manners column where Judith Martin pointed out that it’s a form of personal advertising. Since reading that, I’ve been much more careful about what I post and how I interpret what other people post.


Jinger March 19, 2012 at 4:11 am

My facebook friends are just family members , friends, and former students from my past life in another state. I like seeing their children grow in photos and connecting with them. Most of them are of the younger generation…few friends my age are on fb. For me, it’s holding onto a connection, not missing out, although sometimes, I do miss my former life dearly when I read their posts.


emmer March 19, 2012 at 2:15 pm

when will we see pix of said new globe lamp?


Katy March 19, 2012 at 2:17 pm




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