Goodwill, Badwill, Questionable-will — The Eyes Have It

by Katy on November 17, 2013 · 14 comments

Yesterday found me at loose ends away from the house for a few hours, which meant it was time to volunteer for the needy hit up a couple of Goodwills.

Although all I bought was a $2.99 box of Marimekko Unikko notecards and a 99¢ holiday gift for my mother, I could not help but notice a trend. A disturbing trend, A creepy trend.

The dolls, they see everything! And before you start discounting my observations as paranoid, I present to you the evidence:

This angel may be attempting a disguise, but I am not fooled. Her worried eyes tell a story that would chill you down to your very soul.

Mustached angel

The ever present wall of dolls may first appear to be all sweetness and innocence, but a closer look proves this to be an utter fallacy.

Do you see it?

A riot of dolls

Look closer:

Closeup dolls

And closer. I call him “Baby Edwardian Damian.”

Broken face doll

“Hey there, friend. Want to play a game? It’s a very special game I made up myself. But first, put on this blindfold and handcuffs.”

It’s no wonder his neighbor is crying:

Crying girl doll

Poor girl.

This gullible fellow agreed to play along, but he now knows to stay far, far away from the doll section. Do you see the road rash over his pink cheeks? Almost as if a certain doll rubbed his face back and forth across a concrete sidewalk:

Road rash doll face

He now knows to keep to himself:

Closer rash rash face

He really does.

Closeup road rash doll

It’s no wonder this clown chose to retreat into an inner world where he gets to straddle planet Earth while surrounded by clown-clouds.

Clown

Because sometimes fantasy is better than reality.

Then again, lit-from-within-marble-eyed-bear knew it all along.

Marble Eyed Bear

You just never know what you’ll come across at Goodwill.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

T.L. Bodine November 17, 2013 at 1:36 pm

As someone who recently wrote a short story about a self-interested and most likely malevolent doll…I approve this post.

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Katy November 17, 2013 at 1:48 pm

Thanks, that makes my day! 😀

Katy

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The Frugal Shrink November 17, 2013 at 3:29 pm

Horrifying. No wonder children have so many nightmares. Why are they even selling the creepy broken doll???

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Katy November 17, 2013 at 4:43 pm

There’s a good possibility that it wasn’t broken when it was put on the shelf.

Katy

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Hope :) November 17, 2013 at 4:38 pm

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: Your Goodwills are far more hilarious than mine are. 😉 (We were just at our favorite Goodwill today and I can attest that it is Dullsville City — even if DH did buy a new pair of shoes and I came home with a $0.98 serving dish for cranberry sauce.)

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Barbara November 17, 2013 at 5:51 pm

Katy, We don’t have walls of dolls here. Good thing…appears they take up valuable store space!

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PoppyEcho November 17, 2013 at 9:02 pm

That painting! I didn’t see the faces in the clouds until I read what you wrote… then they jumped out at me! And the straddling/ready to poop on the earth by a clown who lives in the clouds??? Creepiest painting ever.

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PoppyEcho November 17, 2013 at 9:02 pm

That painting! I didn’t see the faces in the clouds until I read what you wrote… then they jumped out at me! And the straddling/ready to poop on the earth by a clown who lives in the clouds??? Creepiest painting ever.

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Cecelia November 18, 2013 at 12:28 am

Uh, why is the hobo doll carrying a rope?

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Katy November 19, 2013 at 9:35 am

Hobo? I prefer to think of him as an ole-timey chimney sweep.

Katy

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Carla November 18, 2013 at 3:09 pm

I love your Goodwill! So entertaining.

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Karyn November 19, 2013 at 8:50 pm

What did you buy your mom for 99 cents?

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Katy November 20, 2013 at 7:10 am

Shh . . . my mother reads the blog! 😉

Katy

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Katy @ Purposely Frugal November 23, 2013 at 8:10 pm

I just have to tell you that I LOVE these posts! They’re hilarious! How do you find such crazy stuff at Goodwill? And how do you come up with such funny stories to go along with them? Keep ’em coming! 🙂

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