They Say Not to Feed The Trolls, Yet Here I Am with a Handful of Kibble
I received a comment on this recent blog post where I shared my feelings on how I wasn't going to mock people who bought the viral Trader Joe's cotton tote bags. It just seemed so mean spirited.
Here's what I wrote:
I wasn't trying to buy a Trader Joe's striped mini tote when I stopped by the other day for bananas. (23¢ each, regardless of size!) However, I'm not going to pile on to mock the people who were excited to buy these objectively cute items.
Life is expensive these days and buying the occasional inexpensive practical item as a dopamine boost is A-Ok sometimes. I'm fully aware that some shoppers buy them to resell, but it's likely those people are simply trying to pay their bills. Doing the time consuming work to piece together an income.
The people to be mad at are those who hoard wealth while others suffer. Punch up, not down.
I woke up yesterday to a comment being held in moderation, which happens when it's the first time someone comments on the blog. (Although it turned out not to be the first time this person commented, they just used a different name and false email address.) I considered not approving it, but decided to do so as I don't shy away from discourse.
I'll respond to "Rebecca" in order of her criticisms.
Supporting Trader Joe's and these totes IS punching down.
* TJ is known for its union busting and problematic labor practices. Why shop there?
* TJ will not allow third party oversight of its factories overseas, we are supposed to take their word that they aren't exploiting workers or using child labor.
* The bags themselves are exploitative, they are made of water/energy consuming cotton and petroleum-based polyester. Further, they can't be recycled so they will likely end up landfilled, probably in a garbage mound in a country where the people are much further "down" than those poor, poor resellers in the US.Systematic problems are individual problems, because the systems can only exist if the individuals prop them up financially. This is especially true of non-necessary goods like a $3 canvas tote (however do they sell it so cheaply, I wonder..).
I'm disappointed and sad, but not surprised at your support of these damaging and destructive hot trend behaviors. You mock Bezos while telling us about the great Whole Foods meal deal. The blog is covered in ads these days (currently playing: Oofos shoes, dell computers, some weight loss injection, and a Mercedes ad. This is just what made it through my adblocker). This blog is no longer about nonconsumerism or the Compact. Perhaps it is time to rebrand it as the "frugal reseller" blog.
"TJ is known for its union busting and problematic labor practices. Why shop there?"
I'm aware of Trader Joe's union busting practices and have written about it HERE. I've talked to a couple different employees about it and have been told that they're treated very well and paid more than the area's unionized grocery workers in town.
My daughter has worked a couple different union grocery jobs and confirm this to be true.
Of course I'm not comfortable with union busting, so I choose to only buy the basics at Trader Joe's, which to me means:
- Toilet paper -- their toilet paper is made from 100% recycled content, yet it much cheaper than Seventh Generation. Think $5.49 vs. $12.49 for a 12-pack.
- Bananas -- 23¢ apiece, which is a bargain and likely a loss leader.
- Hummus -- I have tried making homemade hummus and it's never as good as theirs.
- Heavy produce such as cabbage, butternut squash, cantaloupe. Again, it's priced per-item, which makes it a lot cheaper than other stores.
- Butter -- I've noticed a higher water content in store brand butter, but Trader Joe's seems to have stayed the same.
- Plus the occasional last minute items such as milk or eggs.
I've decreased how often I shop here and what I buy here, which is my way of being deliberate with my grocery dollars.
The majority of my Trader Joe's trips are for nothing but bananas. The store is on my way to my mother's house, so there's no extra driving.
"TJ will not allow third party oversight of its factories overseas, we are supposed to take their word that they aren't exploiting workers or using child labor."
Again, I've minimized how much I buy and how often I shop at Trader Joe's.
A standard corporate grocery store sells thousands of different corporate brands that vary from the highest ethical standards to the very lowest. Yet "Rebecca's" never called me out when I do the occasional shop at Kroger or Safeway.
I do the majority of my grocery shopping at Winco Foods, which is a no frills employee owned chain and have written about it at least a hundred times. I'm not sponsored by them, (or anyone for that matter) yet I am criticized for the occasional Trader Joe's trip.
"The bags themselves are exploitative, they are made of water/energy consuming cotton and petroleum-based polyester. Further, they can't be recycled so they will likely end up landfilled, probably in a garbage mound in a country where the people are much further "down" than those poor, poor resellers in the US."
The bags are cotton and likely have petroleum based stitching, which is better than the plastic content bags sold at all grocery stores, including Trader Joe's. Like the one I bought at a Lincoln, Nebraska Aldi a couple years ago. I use it every time I do a big Winco shop.
It will not fully decompose for thousands of years. (I didn't mean to dress in Aldi colors, yet somehow I did!) Cotton is better, but Aldi didn't sell any cotton bags.
Will almost everything we own as American consumers end up in a landfill at some point? Probably yes, although I do my part (and then some) by only buying used for the past 19+ years, minimally buying clothing and mending what I own. We repair our household belongings and share what we own with neighbors. I'm an active member of my Buy Nothing group and make sure to offer as much as I take.
I won't respond to the sarcastic bit about "poor poor resellers."
"Systematic problems are individual problems, because the systems can only exist if the individuals prop them up financially. This is especially true of non-necessary goods like a $3 canvas tote (however do they sell it so cheaply, I wonder..)."
Of course Trader Joe's bags are not manufactured an an ethical American factory, then again almost nothing is. I'm not saying that therefore it's pointless to avoid unethically manufactured products, as my entire blog is about being deliberate with what you buy.
It's kind of my thang.
My point was that while it's easy to pile on to mock the people who flock to buy these cute $3 bags, perhaps that ire would be better directed to to those in power.
"I'm disappointed and sad, but not surprised at your support of these damaging and destructive hot trend behaviors. You mock Bezos while telling us about the great Whole Foods meal deal."
Do I mock Bezos and refer to him as "Schmeff Schmezos?" Absolutely I do! He's rotten to the core and I only buy from Amazon a couple times per year. Think robot vacuum cleaner battery or the specialized dimmable mini lightbulbs for the ceiling fan I got from my Buy Nothing group.
I've missed out on thousands upon thousands of potential dollars over the past 18 years of blogging by refusing to include Amazon referral links or have an Amazon referral store. This is a deliberate choice as it crosses a line for me to take a cut from my readers when they shop at Amazon.
Have my husband and I started to buy the $35 Family Meals at Bezos owned Whole Foods recently? Yes. As I explained in an earlier blog post, my husband was wasting an entire day off from work torturing himself about what to meal prep and then cooking and cleaning up from that process. The two of us walk into the store and buy the Family Meal, we don't peruse the aisles for other items -- we walk in, we walk out.
This addition to our routine has greatly increased our quality of life. I could've simply kept the Whole Foods shopping to myself, but I think that it illustrates that life isn't black or white. There are grey areas, which does not make me a hypocrite. Do I not get credit for all the shopping I haven't done at this Whole Foods since they opened in 2010?
"The blog is covered in ads these days (currently playing: Oofos shoes, dell computers, some weight loss injection, and a Mercedes ad. This is just what made it through my adblocker). This blog is no longer about nonconsumerism or the Compact."
Does The Non-Consumer Advocate have ads? Hell, yes! I blogged for years without compensation before taking that leap. I deserve to be paid for the daily writing that I provide for free! Some of the ads you see are likely from cookies your computer picked up when you visited a retail website or something you Googled.
Like a streaming service where you pay extra to receive your content without ads. I could write a subscription based Patreon newsletter that you have to pay for. Instead I provide free content that's not behind a paywall. For you. For free.
I pay for web hosting, domain registration, a structural theme, occasional web designer services and likely a few other things that are slipping my mind.
I assure you that the blog is still about nonconsumerism and you're being deliberately obtuse to suggest otherwise. I blog seven days a week about how I use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without. It's not exactly subtle.
"Perhaps it is time to rebrand it as the "frugal reseller" blog."
Nope. I think The Non-Consumer Advocate is a pretty nifty name.
I'm not sure why this comment got under my skin, (maybe because it hit my inbox on the first Father's Day since my dad's death?) but I wasn't going to lie down and take it.
To expect perfection from anyone is doomed to failure. I've never suggested otherwise. If society at large is being 40% wasteful, then my 10% is pretty damned good! Please stop expecting people to live by unattainable standard that don't exist.
Thank you to everyone who made it all the way to the end of this blog post, I promise tomorrow's will be more fun and maybe even a little bit more inspiring.
Now your turn, what frugal things have you been up to?
I had just written this on yesterday's blog, when you changed days, so I will copy and paste it here:
I finally got around to going to the scrap metal yard and taking the former roommate's non-operational, dangerous, portable, metal electric heater there. She left it behind and I'm tired of it being in the garage. Figured I'd sell it for scrap and I knew I wouldn't get as much as a dollar for it. Yes, I came into some money: I got a whopping 63 cents for my one item. They're paying 7 cents per pound today. Not enough to pay for the gas (currently down to $3.08/gal.) to drive over there. Well, it would've been enough to buy 2 soda pops in the break room vending machine at the store, plus 3 cents leftover. But when I left the metal recycler's office, a homeless person came up to me and asked for 50 cents to help buy food. So I gave her the Kennedy 1/2-dollar coin I'd just received. Anyway, I feel good that I kept something out of the city landfill and made absolutely sure no one got it and tried to plug it in. The former roommate (aka The Roommate from Hell) almost burned the house down trying to use it. (Yes, I told her and her family to come get the rest of her stuff. No, they didn't and it's been 3+ years.) I can rest easy knowing that the dangerous item is now smashed and flattened, awaiting being transported to a smelter somewhere. That was today's frugal adventure.
I think you were meant to go to the recycling center, get the .63 and see the person who needed the money you received. I'm looking at it from a spiritual slant. Plus you're rid of the piece of junk that reminds you of an awful roommate.
Thank you, Christine. I think so, too.
Thank you for your measured response. "Perfection is the enemy of good" (to quote Voltaire, who quoted others).
In particular, I'm so glad you host this community (for FREE!), and I'm personally DELIGHTED that you have ads that sponsor your blogs. Based on my own experience, I don't bend to most ads and, knowing so many of us are also frugal/try to limit consumption, most of your readers will also be immune to the ads. So, if you can get $$$ from these corporations while not personally trying to get us to buy their stuff, more to you! I hope you make a million dollars from them. And, if you do, I would guess that you would take a big chunk of that money, and find all sorts of treasures from which to make a profit, and donate 10x that amount to your local food bank.
I also really appreciate your honesty (Whole Foods meals) and would happily take some grey areas over a false narrative that only makes those of us who also live in the grey area feel bad about our imperfect selves.
Rock on, Katy!
ROCK ON, Katy! Your response to the troll was calm, measured, and on-point. We’re all just doing our best to make conscious choices that reflect our values.
I’ve been a reader since the early days… approaching 20 years now, I think! I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever done a blog comment, but just know there are SO MANY quiet readers out here who appear how you share your thoughts and your life. I’ve learned a lot and consider “the blog” as a kind of friend whom I look forward to “seeing” daily.
Please, keep rocking on!
MamieUtah
Thank you for responding so calmly to a negative post that bordered on nasty. "Rebecca", if you don't like what you're reading in Katy's posts than stop reading the blog!
I don't think there is a way to avoid buying from corporations (good or bad) unless you are willing to make everything yourself by growing all your own food and raising animals for food and clothing needs which 99% of Americans aren't able to do for various reasons.
If you don’t like it go find something you do like. Your negativity does not belong here.
I remembered as I was reading the other 54 comments (all positive) that you have readers from other countries not just America so I'm changing my last sentence to 99% of people!
I love your blog! I read it every day and learn new frugal hacks all the time. I find it inspiring how you "use it up, wear it out, make it do and do without". Keep it up!
On a side note I would love to hear more about how much you make blogging and what it costs to produce the content. I am so curious. Thank you!!
I am also a silent reader who has been following your blog for nearly two decades. I continue to be inspired by your commitment to non consumerism and have learned innumerable tips from you and your many appreciative followers. There are indeed many grey areas but we are all doing what we can. We are a rare bunch going against the grain in our rabidly materialistic and status symbol seeking society. It feels good knowing we’re out there, building full, meaningful lives while managing to not get sucked into consumeristic values. Having said that, I must admit that I’m less than thrilled with what seem to be an increasing and inordinate number of posts on re-selling. Please don’t take offense! I do think what you’re doing is laudable on a number of levels, but I can only respond wistfully to them as where I live there are no free piles nor reasonably priced thrift stores, nor Goodwill bins. So, unlike the vast majority of your tips and hacks, all I can do is observe from afar but not incorporate any new practices myself. Anyway, no need to re-post this. I’ve just been noticing what seems to be a proliferation of re-selling posts and it’s just not relatable to me. I would like to see more posts about two major societal crises in the USA: the lack of a national healthcare system and the climate emergency. It’s hard to be frugal when you’re battling major insurance companies and/or are underinsured. It’s hard to get ahead when your utilities are going up and up due to extreme weather. And don’t get me started on insurance premiums of all kinds. It’s hard to stay afloat, especially if you are on a fixed income or are a wage earner, like many of your readers. Thank you, Katy, for all you’ve done to build a better, less wasteful, more thoughtful world. I truly appreciate you. Most likely I am a tiny minority re the re-selling, so just take it with a grain of salt. You are appreciated!
Katy,
For every one "Rebecca," you have no telling how many thousands of fans. Remember that!
I think "Rebecca" accidentally pushed your buttons when you were feeling especially low missing your Daddy. I am sending you a virtual hug and hope you have a good cry and then start to feel better.
But, please ignore the negativity.
We all have to make choices. There is not a single human being who is perfect. As my old city editor used to joke, "I don't want to be perfect. The one person in history who was perfect got crucified 2,000 years ago!" (Apologies to anyone who finds that too sacreligious and offensive.)
We have to do what fits our lifestyle. Some of us can toe the line in some areas but not in others, such as people living in far distant rural areas who have to buy off Amazon because there is not any alternatives they can afford. Some folks can walk and bicycle to work; in our climate, we'd die of heatstroke or get run over on the freeway. Some people can afford to boycott nonunion stores, businesses and shops; in my state, there are so few unions operating, we can't. I can buy and wear secondhand clothes; I do it all the time. I have a pal who cannot; she is psychic and says she can sense the emotions of the person who formerly wore the garment. (She once tried on a black outfit and it was emotionally overwhelming: she sensed someone had worn it to a funeral and she felt their profound grief.) Some people can save money buy eating less expensive foods; others have special diets they must follow. And so on.....
I appreciate how you write every single day! Having written for newspapers, I know that is hard. You provide ideas on not only how to save money, but also how to save the environment, and I greatly admire what you do. I think I speak for dozens, if not hundreds, of your readers in saying reading your blog is a highlight of my day. So hang in there!
PS --If Rebecca doesn't like ads, tell her to buy a popup blocker.
I use a browser called Ecosia for my phone and use it to read my frugal blogs. It's free and comes with a built in ad blocker. And if you do happen to click on any sponsored search engine sites, they take the money and plant trees with it. The search engine isn't powerful enough for me to use for work on my computer, but for bumbling around on my phone it's great and maybe helps plant a few more trees.
My daughter in law downloaded that browser for me. I love it. And it plants trees!! yay
I was also a little surprised about your Whole Foods Meal deal, and the fact that you've mentioned it a few times, but I appreciate your reason why.
I've been a reader since your kids were little and will continue to do so. '
I love the breakdown, and I hope "rebecca" feels a little sting from your response.
I was surprised too, but the idea that Katy and her family will never evolve or change is impractical. I think her being transparent is refreshing.
Not specifically replying to Dana, yet Fresh Market offers similar family meals. For $25 and up. One day, probably out of boredom, I will try one and let you know cost per serving, estimated cost of buying ingredients and ease of cooking plus flavor. The local grocery sells ready to cook single meals for $8 each…some are tastier than others.
It’s good you got that out of your system, and I suppose it’s good that “Rebecca” isn’t in her mom’s basement cackling that you ignored her diatribe.
In general, I find the PNW to be tiring because there are too many goody-two-shoes-crunchier-than-thou types, who live to be oppositional.
It is impossible to be perfect, and it’s OK to do what we can, within reason, to move the needle.
Crunchier-than-thou! I love it!
Remember that episode of The Good Place where they figured out that no one was making it into the good place because it had become impossible to be good? That's where we are. It's impossible to make a perfect decision every time. We just have to do our best on a daily basis.
For my part, I enjoy the positivity here, and I'm glad that stern lectures from the peanut gallery are not the norm.
Defend your blog, Katy! Let her have it! It takes all kinds. I have been buying mostly pre-owned for decades, and proud of it. I consider you a kindred spirit. I thoroughly enjoy your content. Keep it up.
I think that commenter needs a snicker’s bar! We all do what we can and few companies are completely ethical. For instance, my big gray area is that I sometimes shop at Walmart bc I live in the boonies, and have to drive 20 miles to shop anywhere, my income has taken a huge beating, thanks to less disposable bc of family health issues that cost $$$$, and switching jobs, I have older friends that Walmart has actually hired and their paycheck from Walmart keeps them in their house, and the economy, and bc I am having difficulty with some of my gigantic bills and Walmart is 20
miles away and the cheapest thing around. Aldi is 30 miles one way. Does that make me like Wally World? Uhm noooo, but a need is a need. We all do what we can and I sure as he$& would get one of those Trader Joe tote bags if they were anywhere in the vicinity of where I live. They are also CUTE!!! Sheesh!!P.S. the ads do not bother me. Make your money gurl!! We have your back!!!! I can’t think of any company that doesn’t delve into gray areas. That is being realistic .It is not even Halloween and I have mounted my broomstick to defend your ads, your blog, and the lovely readers I have learned so much from for the past 16 years!!!
Cindy, I also am extremely selective about shopping at Walmart. There are a few items we can't buy elsewhere. I also buy gas there because the way the local station is sited on the lot makes it very safe for a small, senior lady who is alone. Can't be perfect, but we try hard to find a balance.
"Rebecca" sure has a lot to say to criticize hiding behind a fake email and name, when you hold yourself up to scrutiny and are open about your choices and the compromises that living in a modern society require. I find great satisfaction in knowing she will no doubt read your imminently sensible response and all the comments giving her a good ol raspberry. I doubt it'll sink on, but still.
Isn't that always the way with these trolls? So easy for them to criticize others while safely hiding behind their keyboards. I'm sure "Rebecca" was put off by Katy's explanations for doing what she does.
There was a drama critic at my former newspaper. Back then, it was on paper, not email. He'd get tons of letters from readers. Some were 'nasty grams' disagreeing with his opinion of a movie. But he didn't bother with anonymous notes. He would open the envelope, go to the last page and if they didn't sign their name, he'd throw the letter away unread. He figured if he has to use his real name on what he writes, they should do the same. If they didn't, he said, they didn't deserve to have their letter read.
Thank you for being such a consistent, honest, and inspiring blogger. I've found it extremely difficult to find frugal friends in the real world, so I come here to keep myself on track for my finances and for the planet. If you were always 100% squeaky clean and never made any gray area choices I would be skeptical about it being real and would likely stop reading. If you were hawking product after product, I would do the same. It's always important to ask "how is what I consume affecting me?". Probably this person had some bad feelings come up and wanted to pass on the negativity. I hope that they measure up to their own high standards and find a kinder and more productive way to encourage people to consume carefully.
Just wanted to let you know I wait for your post every day. I would read it twice a day if you posted that often!!
I'm brand new posting (but not reading) here and I will admit the Whole Foods thing surprised me a bit too. There's only one Whole Foods store in our county of over 700 square miles and 1 million people, and it's in the wealthiest neighborhood in the state. I wonder if they even have these "meal deals" but it's too long a drive to even bother finding out.
However Katy, your reasoning is sound to me. We all have to make compromises.
For instance, I am a county Master Gardener and there are a bunch of us who think that ONLY native plants should be grown and ONLY Heirlooms not hybrids and ONLY drip irrigation is acceptable and ONLY 100 percent organic is okay, etc.
The world we live in is full of imperfections and each of us reading this blog are doing the best we can with the tools we have. So no judgement.
A frugal thing in my corner of the universe is that we got an inch of rain overnight so no watering today!
Unfortunately it came with high winds so have spent a bunch of time righting tomatoes and tying them up, picking up broken tree branches, and just general clean up.
But some people lost entire roofs so I am not whining.
I could never have an online persona like you do, because posts and comments this like would erode my enjoyment of the soul of what I was doing. I try not to debate people about their values, value shaming, etc.
I once took a medical class where the doctor teaching was going over pregnancy and abortion, he said before you debate someone on pregnancy and abortion, ask them where they believe life begins. If you both disagree on this fundamental opinion based fact, the argument can end there on the disagreement.
I guess, know where you stand and know where the other person stands and decide if you can head off the argument at the pass. It saves a lot of time and frustration to accept that others will have a different opinion than you, you both can exist on this planet and move on.
"Systematic problems are individual problems, because the systems can only exist if the individuals prop them up financially..."
This comment seems to be another example of shifting responsibility for the systemic problems of modern life to the individual. To be fair, Rebecca is not alone in this attitude but, realistically, it really doesn't matter how many individuals refrain from "propping them up financially". A systemic problem is very complex and woven into the fabric of a culture. There is no simple solution, but blaming individuals for the compromises they have had to make in order to feed, clothe, shelter, educate, and transport themselves and their loved ones is unkind, unjust, and unfair.
Katy, I enjoy and appreciate your blog so much. Your cheerful practice of living large on less is delightful to read about. Thank you!
In my role as the resident retired copyeditor and curmudgeon, Tess, thank you for correctly using "systemic" vs. Rebecca's "systematic." As Mark Twain reminded us long ago, “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”
And I also applaud your stance against "blaming individuals for the compromises they have had to make." Honestly, if we all stopped nitpicking our comrades for minor things and concentrated on major things (such as calling out You Know Who for the obvious), we'd get a lot more accomplished.
Thank you so much for your kind words, A. Marie.
I love the Mark Twain quote!
You tell her! I’m so sick of the Judgy McJudgy’s of the world. Needing to chastise, correct and one up everyone with their perceived perfection. Ugg.
I am surprised that people who are so averse to things Katy puts in her blog don't know how to stop reading it! Keep on, Katy!
While I agree with most everything you said (and especially your right to say it), if buying food, making food, and cleaning up after yourself is *torture*, I’d encourage you to gain a wider perspective.
She was clearly using the term colloquially, defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as "a very unpleasant experience."
Thank you for clarifying that Betta. Most people, Katy included, use terms while writing that readers can interpret however they choose. Those of us who are familiar with Katy's blog know the word torture was not used in a literal sense here.
Bombastic side-eye to people who use fake names and email addresses to leave rude comments. 😉
Stand by your words, I say.
I had some very garlicky homemade hummus Friday. It can be done! But I do like TJs.
I'm sorry the extremist perfectionist felt a need to dump on you. We're human; we do our best; and you give ideas and inspiration. It's like the extremist vegans that intentionally look to find error and fault with another vegan, all of which just makes people trying to change habits throw their hands up in defeat. Keep doing you.
Katy, I love your blog and the fact that you have ads. I was happy to see them appear! I also love your response to Rebecca. Most people interested in this blog, I would assume, do the best they can. In all sorts of ways. Attempting in our own small ways to help the planet is a great thing. I buy almost everything second hand, except husband's clothes, have an old car, blah, blah. No interest in replacing things that work anymore as I did when I was younger. No interest in acquiring more stuff. I work very hard in my home and yard. But I do buy occasionally from Amazon because it's often easier and cheaper. I buy a lot of non perishables, cleaning stuff, etc. from Walmart for the same reasons. My time is worth something to me, as is a little convenience. Without trying to sound like a jerk, my husband and I give a lot. To charities, food banks, animal shelters, individual families (he is in a position to know when people in our community are in serious need), homeless shelter meals weekly, and many other things. Not at holidays or during tragedies, but all the time. That's how I try to make a small difference. I, too, was a bit surprised at your Whole Foods meals. But in a good way. Your husband's time and energy are very valuable. Thank you for your blog and all you do.
I'm betting that "Rebecca" is a certain commentator who you had to block on this site (therefore the fake name/fake email).
I know who you're talking about and it isn't her.
Ah! That's good I suppose. Anyway, I love your reply to whoever she is.
Well done you!
You handled this perfectly.
Katy, please don't change a thing, about yourself or your blog. I have learned so much from you and the people who post here. You've done nothing wrong. You've done the opposite: You've demonstrated to your readers how to live happy lives on less and in turn helping our planet.
I didn’t have anything to say so I asked AI.
THE TRAGEDY OF BECKY’S EXILEDRAMATIS PERSONAE:CHORUSKATY, a Sovereign of CommerceTHE MOB, a Chorus of Frugal ZealotsACT I, SCENE I. A Digital Forum.[Enter CHORUS.]CHORUSTwo households, both alike in stinginess,In this fair forum, where we lay our scene.A scroll of text, of length beyond belief,Was writ by Becky, though we read it not.Yet hear the fury of the judgment passed!For she is branded with the scarlet word,And banished from the tribal fellowship.Fall into rank, ye knaves, and goose-step true,Or face the plucking of your every feather![Enter KATY and THE MOB.]THE MOBWoe to the wretch who hoards the ketchup sauce!Woe to the cheap who mock the truly frugal!She dared demand that ethical business practicesBend to her will and alter their decree.Away with her! She is not of our blood!KATYHark, faithful subjects, cease your angry din,And click upon these advertisements bright,That golden coin may flow into my purse.THE MOBWe click for Katy! We expel the wench!Let Becky weep in solitary night![Exeunt.]
Too clever for words.
Katy, I admire your response and how real you and your blog are. I hope you don't let the exhausting lecture from "Rebecca" get you too down or cause you to change what you share. We're all just doing the best we can in terms of money, time, energy, etc. Life is full of tradeoffs and rarely (ever?) black and white. It's in the gray areas where we can learn the most and be a community. That's why your and Kristen's blogs are an important part of my life. The ads are a small price to pay for the immense value your blog provides. You earn every damn dollar. Thank you for putting in all of the work to make it all possible.
I just wonder...was that response an A.I. chatbot fueled rant? Kinda sounded like it.
I am a bit jealous that you get to shop TJ's so often. I used to take a dear friend who loved to stock his pantry with snacks from there.
Oh and btw, having an econ meal that is healthy and fun is priceless.
Rock on and keep on keeping on. Becs needs to go back to her bridge.
My thought as well!
Can I say something here? You don't owe an explanation to anyone. You have the right, in this great country of ours, to live life the way you want. (Well, we do right now anyway. Hangin on for midterms)
I enjoy your blog, Matter of fact, it's the first one I read on the daily. I have learned many things from you. Mostly on how to keep stuff from ending up in a landfill. I either fix it, sell it or give it away.
One thing I have learned is that it's easier to be kind than not. Thank you for a most enjoyable blog!
Cheers to you Katy, and thank you for your wonderful blog! I enjoy it so much.
I am glad you snapped back with facts. I really appreciate and learn from your pond some days I depend on the lift you provide by being so kind and sharing. Every time I pick up a penny I think of you with thanks, I have always picked them up and they are not common where I am ... will be less common soon I fear. And I really appreciate you showing how to turn one person's excess into help for another person needing assistance to buy food. Costs and waste are horrible these days. THANK YOU FOR STANDING UP AND TALKING ABOUT SUSTAINABLE LIVING BEHAVIORS AND IDEAS.
What is that saying about 'perfection is the enemy of good' we need you and your ideas. THANK YOU.
I'll chime in with the others and say that I appreciate your honesty and authenticity, Katy. I wonder if Rebecca was feeling disappointed to discover that you are, in fact, human?
I appreciate Anne-Marie Bonneau (the "Zero Waste Chef" with a blog of the same name and several cookbooks in print) who wrote "We don’t need a handful of people doing zero waste perfectly. We need millions of people doing it imperfectly." The same can be said of many things, including sustainability, frugality, vegan/vegetarian/flexitarianism, etc. She was specifically writing about environmental guilt (https://zerowastechef.com/2019/02/14/how-to-cope-with-environmental-guilt-syndrome-egs/)
Let's all be more kind and gentle with each other, and that includes the Commentariat towards Rebecca. The world is hard enough, especially in the last several years.
"We don’t need a handful of people doing zero waste perfectly. We need millions of people doing it imperfectly."
Hear Hear! when I try for perfection and invariably fail, I suffer enormously. when I 'do my best' and celebrate the wins, life is far more gentle.
I've loved the idea of getting a family meal and portioning it for lunches, to save a day of meal prep. Absolutely brilliant, IMHO. An idea I might recommend to #2 son if there were any decent vegetarian options where he is now living - but it is a clever clever way to meal prep and save a day off for other activities that are likely much more fun.
@Katy, I was sad to see the original post - your commentariat doesn't have that vitriol as a standard, so seeing someone blasting with both barrels was a bit of a shocker. Thanks for responding and doing it so graciously (and firmly). This is your party, you can do what you want to, including demonstrating that perfection is impossible. I love your inconsistencies, it makes it much easier for the rest of us to share ours! <3
I love Zero Waste Chef!
I could never blog, because I couldn’t deal with comments like that. I survived student evaluations and simply don’t want to go down that path again. I stuck with academia because I was committed to my field. And, in all honesty I got good course evaluations; but, the one occasional bad one would just throw me for a loop. I would spend hours re-examining myself, the course, etc. It was exhausting and not a good use of my time; however, I learned from it. It’s good to be reflective! Thank you for your thoughtful reflection.
I hadn’t even thought about the connection between Amazon and Whole Foods. Silly me! But, what I did pick up on vicariously through your posts is how much your husband has been through. His parents passed away, he (and, you!) did an extraordinary amount of work to settle the estate, he was in a bicycle-car accident, and he lost his father-in-law … to name a few. I cannot blame him for finding meal prep and everything about it taking a toil! You found a workable solution that fits you for the here and now. It might be an option for someone else. Who knows? I know several widows/widowers who rely on Trader Joe’s freezer meals because cooking for one in the absence of a significant other is simply too much; at least for right now. Times will change and so will habits and the means to accomplish necessary tasks. To his credit, he’s still taking his meals.
Again, thank you for grace in handling this. And, sharing!
Casey, your reaction is about the closest to what I'd say (especially about Mr. NCA), so I'll just second your motions. And, my goodness, the things I miss when I'm feeling blah and go to bed early!
I'm so tired of people who are presumably left of MAGA eating their own. Instead of attacking you, she could have been using whatever platform she has to criticize anti-vax, anti -immigrant, pro-patriarchy, right-wing WHATEVER.But instead she's attacking you for not being PERFECT.
Katy, please keep doing everything you do and keep writing your wonderful blog. Do not even respond to these critical, holier-than-thou people! In a different blog today, someone talked about buying something at Goodwill and got over *300*!!!! negative comments about GW's ethics, their CEO's salary, and their supposedly overpriced goods. I enjoy your blog so much, don't let these haters/gripers take up space here!
Damn, who shit in her cereal *eye roll* Being frugal isn't about nickel and diming every thread of your existence. It's about intention and for goodness sakes, if you don't like something and it's not causing harm or misinformation or being a danger to others then move along! I don't like the "I'm a perfect mommy who can keep my 2400 sq ft house white gloves clean while being a shell of a human being and raising 14 kids while my husband makes all the decisions" blogs, so guess who doesn't go and seek them out? Me. Do they exist? Yes.
Hot damn I'm grumbly today. It's hotter than Satan's balls today and I'm dehydrated. My youngest is using me to take a nap after a 20 minute crying fit. (Worst mommy in the world trophy goes to...) And I'm still miffed that the pot pie I made the other day got left out over night and had to be thrown out! It was an honest mistake, but I'm still sad.
Katy, thank you most sincerely for all that you do and the transparency that you have with your readers. You give way more than you take and honestly it's none of anyone's business how you live your life or spend your money, but you still show up and try to make our corner of this craphole a better place. You are inspiring and relatable (maybe because you're real?) and we thank you for your humor and nuggets of wisdom.
Stay hydrated, my friends.
Shyla, thanks as always for your humor. I nearly spewed my coffee! On the more serious matter of the pot pie, I've been there! Walk into the kitchen in the morning, see it on the counter, cry "No!", mentally run through what I know about how many hours something can be left out before food poisoning sets in, wonder if I should take a chance, look around the kitchen for moral support, gnash my teeth, feel terrible as I throw it out, and think about a whole meal (or more) that I lost the rest of the day.
I made my husband throw it out, I couldn't make eye contact with it *weep*
If it was growing eyes, then that was definitely a sign that it was off! 😉
Whoops - I just wrote a long and eloquent comment ( trust me lol) and it disappeared before I could post it….so here’s the abbreviated version.
I love your blog (and the commentariat), love your authenticity, appreciate the frequency of your posts - all inspire me to be better at frugality and keeping things out of landfills. I don’t expect perfection from anyone including myself. Thank you.
I don’t appreciate mean spirited trolls/comments.
I find the TJ comments interesting as I have a family member who has worked for both TJ and Aldi. Aldi was a sweatshop and their treatment of their workforce was less than admirable. In contrast, TJ was a great place to work and employees felt valued. I know many people love Aldi for its affordability and specific products- but I think there is a human cost they choose to ignore that makes that possible.
This is interesting for sure. Thanks for sharing. Don't they have the same parent company?
We don't have TJ's near me anymore, but I do shop at Aldi. I don't go to Walmart or Amazon, and sometimes feel like I just have to pick the least evil option.
They are 2 separate companies ( different management, products and legal entities). Both are part of a trust established by the German founder of the Aldi empire.
Haters be hating!
I think our choices depend alot on where we live and what stage of life we are in. The choices I make may seem absurd to others, while their choices wouldn't fit my life or my circumstances. Often our decisions and habits evolve as our lives change.
The fact that you are out in the webisphere championing thinking before you buy is a great service. Thank you!!!
Didn't Shell Silverstein write a little poem...... "Almost perfect but not quite" 🙂
Re: tote bags. When we mock others, it reveals a spiritual weakness that we haven't overcome. I can be an incredible smart ax, so the fact that you deliberately choose kindness, my hat is off to you!
Love your blog! Love that you post frequently! Love that this blog points me in the direction of less consumerism! Love that you are honest with your nonconsumerism journey! Love that you are compensated for your hard work! Keep up the good work and thank you so much!
Katy,
Thank you so much for your blog which I read assiduously from the UK.
You give so much pleasure and thought into these now daily posts-I can but admire the effort that goes into them.
Please don't stop-not that you would!
Louise
I agree with everyone who has commented. We do the best we can and sometimes there are compromises. Personally, I think it's great you're getting the Whole Foods deal. I'd love to try it. If I could monetize my blog, I would, but I don't have the following you do. And this was the first Father's Day without my husband, and it was sad. My kids were great though and shared lots of special memories of him. So, I understand about your dad.
Hear hear!!! Blogging is hard work; anybody who doesn't want to see ads is being naive or asking us to donate our hours of work for their amusement.
And I can endorse how much money stays on the table when one refuses to accept ads from Amazon. I look at those number from time to time, and still make the choice to stay away from both the company and their products on my website. It's a sacrifice...
You do great work; yours is my favorite blog, next to my own of course. We do the best we can with the ethical dilemmas around excessive consumption, and we own apologies to nobody.
big hugs,
Janice
Wow, “Rebecca” was grumpy lol
Well defended.
Xoxo
Katy's blog is the only space I know of whereby you can celebrate non-consumerism. Most of the world's citizens are enthralled with buying the best and the most items their wallets & CC will allow. IMHO we Americans have lost the ability to be content & grateful for they have. Older homes have smaller closets as people did not own as many clothes and shoes. People who do not work in health care do not know how physically & emotionally draining it is to work 12 hour shifts. When you finally get a day off it is tiresome to plan for meals that are more than a sandwich. When you take care of others for a living you need to practice self-care to avoid burn-out. Buying a prepared meal at the evil TJ's seems a good compromise to me. I do not re-sell items online but I enjoy learning about items that look like junk but are actually valuable. (The spider shaped lemon squeezer for one example.) Ignore the negative comments or block them. Let the trolls crawl back under their bridge.
I am glad you addressed all of their petty remarks. People like that don't even deserve an audience but there are probably others thinking the same silly thoughts. SO now they know how you feel and you don't ever have to address them again.
I enjoy your blog. Thank you for keeping it free. It does bum me out when I read a blog and they say "I was going to talk about this but you have to pay for Patrone if you want to read it". SOOO many subscriptions out there to buy. Anyway, keep keeping on. You're doing great!!!
I enjoy your blog, but this seems defensive to me. If you host a public forum with ads and allow comments, people can say what they think. She was holier than thou, but not cursing or being offensive.
The Whole Foods thing surprised me too. I wouldn't do it for convenience because I feel strongly about Bezos. You can do whatever you want, obviously. It's your life, and it doesn't affect me. But it's not wild for someone to point out the inconsistency of boycotting Amazon and shopping at Whole Foods.
Of course people can say what they think! anywhere, everyone has a personal opinion. What you see as overly defensive is simply Katy defending her blog, her effort, her time to make sure her words are not misinterpreted. That can and should be done when one has a public forum regardless of whether the commenter was cursing of being offensive.
Again, it's important to get facts correct when making a critique. Katy freely admits that she occasionally buys from Amazon, there is no actual boycott.
anyway, yes we each make our decisions about our own choices, let's be kind and helpful to each other as we seek to minimise our impact on our world's resources and to maximise our generosity of spirit with others
"Please stop expecting people to live by unattainable standard that don't exist."
This. Exactly this. I'm sure if we were to peer into 'Rebecca's' life, it, too, would be fraught with hypocritical contradictions. Perfection is a myth, and those who hold such a skewed perspective to bolster their own superiority complex will eventually be humbled by life and their own words/standards. Life is hard, and we need to encourage one another for our accomplishments, however small they may seem, rather than criticizing and tearing down our (individual) efforts.
Meet people where they are, not where you want them to be.
(As a side note...my ads are car insurance companies, Costco, Microsoft, UPS, and Lego; none of which I find offensive, lol.)
People love to complain, don’t they?! Don’t ket the “Rebecca’s” (insert replacement word here if you like) get to you. Love your blog. The authenticity is obvious. Cheers!
Well said Katy!
"Rebecca" pointed out some inconsistencies in your posts and she mentioned the ads which ARE annoying. This makes her a 'troll'?
She is merely expressing an opinion. Now you have defended your position. This is all good. It is not a compliment for readers to crucify another person in your defence.
I enjoy reading about everyone's efforts to preserve the planet; not so crazy about the penny finding comments but so what?
t's AI comment was so bang on.
Katy, sometimes it IS difficult to see you ridiculing something -- then quietly taking advantage of it. Excusing this by saying you only buy one item or two...well, that's like some politicians saying they 'didn't inhale.' I do agree with you that we are NOT perfect, and some things must remain grey, instead of black and white. But it still points out that it's easy to throw the stone --
I have grown to love your blog. Really. And I put up with the ads because yes, you're right -- it's nice to be paid. Unfortunately, my blog, which I've written now for more than a decade, stays unpaid. But for now, I can handle that. Keep writing, and I'll keep reading. And so will many other people. But bear in mind, we all think differently about things. It's not fun to be told you're an idiot -- or have that suggested -- because your viewpoint is different. Can I handle that? Sure...but it's not fun.
Katy, thanks for this post. It's the perfect explanation and definitely gets at all the ways we can try to be as non-consumerist as possible. I was especially interested to read why you were buying the family meal at WF since I know you despise Schmeff Schmezos. I've managed to eliminate shopping at WF except for two items, and I'm trying to source them elsewhere. If I have to buy them there, I'll be disappointed that I still haven't found al alternative, but for two, infrequently-purchased items at WF and zero purchases from Amazon, I can live with it.
Kudos to you for leading by example all these years. I have learned so much from reading your blog. We can always aspire, but there is no perfect way of going about life. Thanks always for your opinions, honesty and transparency.
I don't disagree with the overall sentiment, but I am a bit confused because I remember you mocking people buying TJ mini totes in the past. Maybe sometime last year?
I gave it more thought and decided that my previous take was directed to the wrong people.
She also bought one for her Sasha doll.
I bought it for the doll that I sold for the Goodwill gift card challenge. That sale put $100 towards to Oregon Food Bank.
There is opportunity for significant growth & insight when taking discussion to a higher intellectual level, albeit with sufficient amounts of decorum & respect applied. While understandable that critical comments caused defensiveness, I appreciate the multiple viewpoints & enjoyed the thought-provoking, robust conversation that ensued.
Oh Katy-this is just awful! I am so sorry that this happened, and I appreciate your thoughtful reply. It's really interesting to me how folks can be so nasty when they are sitting behind a screen. I venture to say that they would not be so critical if they were face to face. I admire and appreciate you (and almost all your commenters) so very much!!
I absolutely want you to get paid, and since it's helping support retirement and more time to post, it's definitely working for me. And, I appreciate the honesty and lack of purity testing and virtue signaling, because we're all just trying to make it work and judging each other is for the birds.
In the interest of honesty, I'll speak once and forever hold my peace - I hope this isn't the final boss ad service, because it places more cookies than any other website I visit, leaves a small reading area with a lot of visual noise, and crashes my (admittedly elderly) laptop surprisingly often. May the next iteration work a little more smoothly for everyone.
Hey Katy,
Have been reading for years.
Have loved your blog for years.
Will continue reading as long as you're writing.
You walk your talk and you are a very honest lass.
Love your work - always.
Francesca - Tasmania, Australia xxx
I’m a mostly silent reader, and catching up on older posts I came across this and felt compelled to comment. Katy, your writing—and the thoughtful discussions in the comments—have been such a net positive in my life since I discovered your work a year or two ago. You’ve genuinely changed the way I think about consumption, stewardship, and many of the small choices that make up daily life.
I actually found you through minimalism. While our philosophies aren’t identical, there’s a lot of overlap, and I really enjoy reading about how intentionally you strive to live your values. “Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without” has become one of my guiding mottos too. It fits beautifully with minimalism and simple living, and honestly, it’s just fun.
So please keep writing, living, and sharing authentically.
I question whether anyone could actually live in a way that meets “Rebecca’s” standards—not just once, but day after day, year after year. I don’t think perfection is a worthy goal because it pulls our attention away from the more interesting and I think important question: how do we build a life that expresses our values as faithfully as we can in an imperfect world?
That’s what I see you doing. You’re not pretending there are perfect answers. You’re asking how to live thoughtfully within real constraints (like finite time, resources, and the reality of how food and goods are produced and distributed), while honestly acknowledging the unavoidable contradictions and having the courage to remain in that tension rather than ignore it. I find that deeply inspiring.
To me, that’s what “experiments in living” are about. You continually invite your readers to run those experiments in their own lives—to be curious, observant, and honest about what works, what doesn’t, and what they’re learning along the way. I think that’s a remarkable contribution, and I’m grateful for it.
I also wasn’t aware of the Whole Foods family meal deals. That option is excellent!
I do sometimes shop at Whole Foods because they offer curbside pickup (my 4-year-old twins can only handle about 15 minutes in a grocery store before my more wiggly twin starts to lose it). So I occasionally shop there despite knowing Jeff Bezos ultimately profits.
My preferred grocery store is Market Basket, but unfortunately they don’t offer curbside pickup. I usually save those trips for when I can go alone because they strategically place toys and stickers at the end of every aisle. It’s rare that both boys make it through the store without a meltdown. I’m okay with the meltdowns—boundaries matter, right?—but the other shoppers tend to get a bit stressed, and it definitely makes shopping harder.
So I’ll be taking advantage of those family meal deals on nights when I don’t feel like cooking!