They Say Not to Feed The Trolls, Yet Here I Am with a Handful of Kibble
I received a comment on this recent blog post where I shared my feelings on how I wasn't going to mock people who bought the viral Trader Joe's cotton tote bags. It just seemed so mean spirited.
Here's what I wrote:
I wasn't trying to buy a Trader Joe's striped mini tote when I stopped by the other day for bananas. (23¢ each, regardless of size!) However, I'm not going to pile on to mock the people who were excited to buy these objectively cute items.
Life is expensive these days and buying the occasional inexpensive practical item as a dopamine boost is A-Ok sometimes. I'm fully aware that some shoppers buy them to resell, but it's likely those people are simply trying to pay their bills. Doing the time consuming work to piece together an income.
The people to be mad at are those who hoard wealth while others suffer. Punch up, not down.
I woke up yesterday to a comment being held in moderation, which happens when it's the first time someone comments on the blog. (Although it turned out not to be the first time this person commented, they just used a different name and false email address.) I considered not approving it, but decided to do so as I don't shy away from discourse.
I'll respond to "Rebecca" in order of her criticisms.
Supporting Trader Joe's and these totes IS punching down.
* TJ is known for its union busting and problematic labor practices. Why shop there?
* TJ will not allow third party oversight of its factories overseas, we are supposed to take their word that they aren't exploiting workers or using child labor.
* The bags themselves are exploitative, they are made of water/energy consuming cotton and petroleum-based polyester. Further, they can't be recycled so they will likely end up landfilled, probably in a garbage mound in a country where the people are much further "down" than those poor, poor resellers in the US.Systematic problems are individual problems, because the systems can only exist if the individuals prop them up financially. This is especially true of non-necessary goods like a $3 canvas tote (however do they sell it so cheaply, I wonder..).
I'm disappointed and sad, but not surprised at your support of these damaging and destructive hot trend behaviors. You mock Bezos while telling us about the great Whole Foods meal deal. The blog is covered in ads these days (currently playing: Oofos shoes, dell computers, some weight loss injection, and a Mercedes ad. This is just what made it through my adblocker). This blog is no longer about nonconsumerism or the Compact. Perhaps it is time to rebrand it as the "frugal reseller" blog.
"TJ is known for its union busting and problematic labor practices. Why shop there?"
I'm aware of Trader Joe's union busting practices and have written about it HERE. I've talked to a couple different employees about it and have been told that they're treated very well and paid more than the area's unionized grocery workers in town.
My daughter has worked a couple different union grocery jobs and confirm this to be true.
Of course I'm not comfortable with union busting, so I choose to only buy the basics at Trader Joe's, which to me means:
- Toilet paper -- their toilet paper is made from 100% recycled content, yet it much cheaper than Seventh Generation. Think $5.49 vs. $12.49 for a 12-pack.
- Bananas -- 23¢ apiece, which is a bargain and likely a loss leader.
- Hummus -- I have tried making homemade hummus and it's never as good as theirs.
- Heavy produce such as cabbage, butternut squash, cantaloupe. Again, it's priced per-item, which makes it a lot cheaper than other stores.
- Butter -- I've noticed a higher water content in store brand butter, but Trader Joe's seems to have stayed the same.
- Plus the occasional last minute items such as milk or eggs.
I've decreased how often I shop here and what I buy here, which is my way of being deliberate with my grocery dollars.
The majority of my Trader Joe's trips are for nothing but bananas. The store is on my way to my mother's house, so there's no extra driving.
"TJ will not allow third party oversight of its factories overseas, we are supposed to take their word that they aren't exploiting workers or using child labor."
Again, I've minimized how much I buy and how often I shop at Trader Joe's.
A standard corporate grocery store sells thousands of different corporate brands that vary from the highest ethical standards to the very lowest. Yet "Rebecca's" never called me out when I do the occasional shop at Kroger or Safeway.
I do the majority of my grocery shopping at Winco Foods, which is a no frills employee owned chain and have written about it at least a hundred times. I'm not sponsored by them, (or anyone for that matter) yet I am criticized for the occasional Trader Joe's trip.
"The bags themselves are exploitative, they are made of water/energy consuming cotton and petroleum-based polyester. Further, they can't be recycled so they will likely end up landfilled, probably in a garbage mound in a country where the people are much further "down" than those poor, poor resellers in the US."
The bags are cotton and likely have petroleum based stitching, which is better than the plastic content bags sold at all grocery stores, including Trader Joe's. Like the one I bought at a Lincoln, Nebraska Aldi a couple years ago. I use it every time I do a big Winco shop.
It will not fully decompose for thousands of years. (I didn't mean to dress in Aldi colors, yet somehow I did!) Cotton is better, but Aldi didn't sell any cotton bags.
Will almost everything we own as American consumers end up in a landfill at some point? Probably yes, although I do my part (and then some) by only buying used for the past 19+ years, minimally buying clothing and mending what I own. We repair our household belongings and share what we own with neighbors. I'm an active member of my Buy Nothing group and make sure to offer as much as I take.
I won't respond to the sarcastic bit about "poor poor resellers."
"Systematic problems are individual problems, because the systems can only exist if the individuals prop them up financially. This is especially true of non-necessary goods like a $3 canvas tote (however do they sell it so cheaply, I wonder..)."
Of course Trader Joe's bags are not manufactured an an ethical American factory, then again almost nothing is. I'm not saying that therefore it's pointless to avoid unethically manufactured products, as my entire blog is about being deliberate with what you buy.
It's kind of my thang.
My point was that while it's easy to pile on to mock the people who flock to buy these cute $3 bags, perhaps that ire would be better directed to to those in power.
"I'm disappointed and sad, but not surprised at your support of these damaging and destructive hot trend behaviors. You mock Bezos while telling us about the great Whole Foods meal deal."
Do I mock Bezos and refer to him as "Schmeff Schmezos?" Absolutely I do! He's rotten to the core and I only buy from Amazon a couple times per year. Think robot vacuum cleaner battery or the specialized dimmable mini lightbulbs for the ceiling fan I got from my Buy Nothing group.
I've missed out on thousands upon thousands of potential dollars over the past 18 years of blogging by refusing to include Amazon referral links or have an Amazon referral store. This is a deliberate choice as it crosses a line for me to take a cut from my readers when they shop at Amazon.
Have my husband and I started to buy the $35 Family Meals at Bezos owned Whole Foods recently? Yes. As I explained in an earlier blog post, my husband was wasting an entire day off from work torturing himself about what to meal prep and then cooking and cleaning up from that process. The two of us walk into the store and buy the Family Meal, we don't peruse the aisles for other items -- we walk in, we walk out.
This addition to our routine has greatly increased our quality of life. I could've simply kept the Whole Foods shopping to myself, but I think that it illustrates that life isn't black or white. There are grey areas, which does not make me a hypocrite. Do I not get credit for all the shopping I haven't done at this Whole Foods since they opened in 2010?
"The blog is covered in ads these days (currently playing: Oofos shoes, dell computers, some weight loss injection, and a Mercedes ad. This is just what made it through my adblocker). This blog is no longer about nonconsumerism or the Compact."
Does The Non-Consumer Advocate have ads? Hell, yes! I blogged for years without compensation before taking that leap. I deserve to be paid for the daily writing that I provide for free! Some of the ads you see are likely from cookies your computer picked up when you visited a retail website or something you Googled.
Like a streaming service where you pay extra to receive your content without ads. I could write a subscription based Patreon newsletter that you have to pay for. Instead I provide free content that's not behind a paywall. For you. For free.
I pay for web hosting, domain registration, a structural theme, occasional web designer services and likely a few other things that are slipping my mind.
I assure you that the blog is still about nonconsumerism and you're being deliberately obtuse to suggest otherwise. I blog seven days a week about how I use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without. It's not exactly subtle.
"Perhaps it is time to rebrand it as the "frugal reseller" blog."
Nope. I think The Non-Consumer Advocate is a pretty nifty name.
I'm not sure why this comment got under my skin, (maybe because it hit my inbox on the first Father's Day since my dad's death?) but I wasn't going to lie down and take it.
To expect perfection from anyone is doomed to failure. I've never suggested otherwise. If society at large is being 40% wasteful, then my 10% is pretty damned good! Please stop expecting people to live by unattainable standard that don't exist.
Thank you to everyone who made it all the way to the end of this blog post, I promise tomorrow's will be more fun and maybe even a little bit more inspiring.
Now your turn, what frugal things have you been up to?
I had just written this on yesterday's blog, when you changed days, so I will copy and paste it here:
I finally got around to going to the scrap metal yard and taking the former roommate's non-operational, dangerous, portable, metal electric heater there. She left it behind and I'm tired of it being in the garage. Figured I'd sell it for scrap and I knew I wouldn't get as much as a dollar for it. Yes, I came into some money: I got a whopping 63 cents for my one item. They're paying 7 cents per pound today. Not enough to pay for the gas (currently down to $3.08/gal.) to drive over there. Well, it would've been enough to buy 2 soda pops in the break room vending machine at the store, plus 3 cents leftover. But when I left the metal recycler's office, a homeless person came up to me and asked for 50 cents to help buy food. So I gave her the Kennedy 1/2-dollar coin I'd just received. Anyway, I feel good that I kept something out of the city landfill and made absolutely sure no one got it and tried to plug it in. The former roommate (aka The Roommate from Hell) almost burned the house down trying to use it. (Yes, I told her and her family to come get the rest of her stuff. No, they didn't and it's been 3+ years.) I can rest easy knowing that the dangerous item is now smashed and flattened, awaiting being transported to a smelter somewhere. That was today's frugal adventure.
Thank you for your measured response. "Perfection is the enemy of good" (to quote Voltaire, who quoted others).
In particular, I'm so glad you host this community (for FREE!), and I'm personally DELIGHTED that you have ads that sponsor your blogs. Based on my own experience, I don't bend to most ads and, knowing so many of us are also frugal/try to limit consumption, most of your readers will also be immune to the ads. So, if you can get $$$ from these corporations while not personally trying to get us to buy their stuff, more to you! I hope you make a million dollars from them. And, if you do, I would guess that you would take a big chunk of that money, and find all sorts of treasures from which to make a profit, and donate 10x that amount to your local food bank.
I also really appreciate your honesty (Whole Foods meals) and would happily take some grey areas over a false narrative that only makes those of us who also live in the grey area feel bad about our imperfect selves.
Rock on, Katy!
ROCK ON, Katy! Your response to the troll was calm, measured, and on-point. We’re all just doing our best to make conscious choices that reflect our values.
I’ve been a reader since the early days… approaching 20 years now, I think! I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever done a blog comment, but just know there are SO MANY quiet readers out here who appear how you share your thoughts and your life. I’ve learned a lot and consider “the blog” as a kind of friend whom I look forward to “seeing” daily.
Please, keep rocking on!
MamieUtah
Thank you for responding so calmly to a negative post that bordered on nasty. "Rebecca", if you don't like what you're reading in Katy's posts than stop reading the blog!
I don't think there is a way to avoid buying from corporations (good or bad) unless you are willing to make everything yourself by growing all your own food and raising animals for food and clothing needs which 99% of Americans aren't able to do for various reasons.
I love your blog! I read it every day and learn new frugal hacks all the time. I find it inspiring how you "use it up, wear it out, make it do and do without". Keep it up!
On a side note I would love to hear more about how much you make blogging and what it costs to produce the content. I am so curious. Thank you!!
Katy,
For every one "Rebecca," you have no telling how many thousands of fans. Remember that!
I think "Rebecca" accidentally pushed your buttons when you were feeling especially low missing your Daddy. I am sending you a virtual hug and hope you have a good cry and then start to feel better.
But, please ignore the negativity.
We all have to make choices. There is not a single human being who is perfect. As my old city editor used to joke, "I don't want to be perfect. The one person in history who was perfect got crucified 2,000 years ago!" (Apologies to anyone who finds that too sacreligious and offensive.)
We have to do what fits our lifestyle. Some of us can toe the line in some areas but not in others, such as people living in far distant rural areas who have to buy off Amazon because there is not any alternatives they can afford. Some folks can walk and bicycle to work; in our climate, we'd die of heatstroke or get run over on the freeway. Some people can afford to boycott nonunion stores, businesses and shops; in my state, there are so few unions operating, we can't. I can buy and wear secondhand clothes; I do it all the time. I have a pal who cannot; she is psychic and says she can sense the emotions of the person who formerly wore the garment. (She once tried on a black outfit and it was emotionally overwhelming: she sensed someone had worn it to a funeral and she felt their profound grief.) Some people can save money buy eating less expensive foods; others have special diets they must follow. And so on.....
I appreciate how you write every single day! Having written for newspapers, I know that is hard. You provide ideas on not only how to save money, but also how to save the environment, and I greatly admire what you do. I think I speak for dozens, if not hundreds, of your readers in saying reading your blog is a highlight of my day. So hang in there!
PS --If Rebecca doesn't like ads, tell her to buy a popup blocker.
I use a browser called Ecosia for my phone and use it to read my frugal blogs. It's free and comes with a built in ad blocker. And if you do happen to click on any sponsored search engine sites, they take the money and plant trees with it. The search engine isn't powerful enough for me to use for work on my computer, but for bumbling around on my phone it's great and maybe helps plant a few more trees.
I was also a little surprised about your Whole Foods Meal deal, and the fact that you've mentioned it a few times, but I appreciate your reason why.
I've been a reader since your kids were little and will continue to do so. '
I love the breakdown, and I hope "rebecca" feels a little sting from your response.
I was surprised too, but the idea that Katy and her family will never evolve or change is impractical. I think her being transparent is refreshing.
Not specifically replying to Dana, yet Fresh Market offers similar family meals. For $25 and up. One day, probably out of boredom, I will try one and let you know cost per serving, estimated cost of buying ingredients and ease of cooking plus flavor. The local grocery sells ready to cook single meals for $8 each…some are tastier than others.
It’s good you got that out of your system, and I suppose it’s good that “Rebecca” isn’t in her mom’s basement cackling that you ignored her diatribe.
In general, I find the PNW to be tiring because there are too many goody-two-shoes-crunchier-than-thou types, who live to be oppositional.
It is impossible to be perfect, and it’s OK to do what we can, within reason, to move the needle.
Crunchier-than-thou! I love it!
Remember that episode of The Good Place where they figured out that no one was making it into the good place because it had become impossible to be good? That's where we are. It's impossible to make a perfect decision every time. We just have to do our best on a daily basis.
For my part, I enjoy the positivity here, and I'm glad that stern lectures from the peanut gallery are not the norm.
Defend your blog, Katy! Let her have it! It takes all kinds. I have been buying mostly pre-owned for decades, and proud of it. I consider you a kindred spirit. I thoroughly enjoy your content. Keep it up.
I think that commenter needs a snicker’s bar! We all do what we can and few companies are completely ethical. For instance, my big gray area is that I sometimes shop at Walmart bc I live in the boonies, and have to drive 20 miles to shop anywhere, my income has taken a huge beating, thanks to less disposable bc of family health issues that cost $$$$, and switching jobs, I have older friends that Walmart has actually hired and their paycheck from Walmart keeps them in their house, and the economy, and bc I am having difficulty with some of my gigantic bills and Walmart is 20
miles away and the cheapest thing around. Aldi is 30 miles one way. Does that make me like Wally World? Uhm noooo, but a need is a need. We all do what we can and I sure as he$& would get one of those Trader Joe tote bags if they were anywhere in the vicinity of where I live. They are also CUTE!!! Sheesh!!P.S. the ads do not bother me. Make your money gurl!! We have your back!!!! I can’t think of any company that doesn’t delve into gray areas. That is being realistic .It is not even Halloween and I have mounted my broomstick to defend your ads, your blog, and the lovely readers I have learned so much from for the past 16 years!!!
Cindy, I also am extremely selective about shopping at Walmart. There are a few items we can't buy elsewhere. I also buy gas there because the way the local station is sited on the lot makes it very safe for a small, senior lady who is alone. Can't be perfect, but we try hard to find a balance.
"Rebecca" sure has a lot to say to criticize hiding behind a fake email and name, when you hold yourself up to scrutiny and are open about your choices and the compromises that living in a modern society require. I find great satisfaction in knowing she will no doubt read your imminently sensible response and all the comments giving her a good ol raspberry. I doubt it'll sink on, but still.
Thank you for being such a consistent, honest, and inspiring blogger. I've found it extremely difficult to find frugal friends in the real world, so I come here to keep myself on track for my finances and for the planet. If you were always 100% squeaky clean and never made any gray area choices I would be skeptical about it being real and would likely stop reading. If you were hawking product after product, I would do the same. It's always important to ask "how is what I consume affecting me?". Probably this person had some bad feelings come up and wanted to pass on the negativity. I hope that they measure up to their own high standards and find a kinder and more productive way to encourage people to consume carefully.
Just wanted to let you know I wait for your post every day. I would read it twice a day if you posted that often!!
I'm brand new posting (but not reading) here and I will admit the Whole Foods thing surprised me a bit too. There's only one Whole Foods store in our county of over 700 square miles and 1 million people, and it's in the wealthiest neighborhood in the state. I wonder if they even have these "meal deals" but it's too long a drive to even bother finding out.
However Katy, your reasoning is sound to me. We all have to make compromises.
For instance, I am a county Master Gardener and there are a bunch of us who think that ONLY native plants should be grown and ONLY Heirlooms not hybrids and ONLY drip irrigation is acceptable and ONLY 100 percent organic is okay, etc.
The world we live in is full of imperfections and each of us reading this blog are doing the best we can with the tools we have. So no judgement.
A frugal thing in my corner of the universe is that we got an inch of rain overnight so no watering today!
Unfortunately it came with high winds so have spent a bunch of time righting tomatoes and tying them up, picking up broken tree branches, and just general clean up.
But some people lost entire roofs so I am not whining.
I could never have an online persona like you do, because posts and comments this like would erode my enjoyment of the soul of what I was doing. I try not to debate people about their values, value shaming, etc.
I once took a medical class where the doctor teaching was going over pregnancy and abortion, he said before you debate someone on pregnancy and abortion, ask them where they believe life begins. If you both disagree on this fundamental opinion based fact, the argument can end there on the disagreement.
I guess, know where you stand and know where the other person stands and decide if you can head off the argument at the pass. It saves a lot of time and frustration to accept that others will have a different opinion than you, you both can exist on this planet and move on.
"Systematic problems are individual problems, because the systems can only exist if the individuals prop them up financially..."
This comment seems to be another example of shifting responsibility for the systemic problems of modern life to the individual. To be fair, Rebecca is not alone in this attitude but, realistically, it really doesn't matter how many individuals refrain from "propping them up financially". A systemic problem is very complex and woven into the fabric of a culture. There is no simple solution, but blaming individuals for the compromises they have had to make in order to feed, clothe, shelter, educate, and transport themselves and their loved ones is unkind, unjust, and unfair.
Katy, I enjoy and appreciate your blog so much. Your cheerful practice of living large on less is delightful to read about. Thank you!
You tell her! I’m so sick of the Judgy McJudgy’s of the world. Needing to chastise, correct and one up everyone with their perceived perfection. Ugg.
While I agree with most everything you said (and especially your right to say it), if buying food, making food, and cleaning up after yourself is *torture*, I’d encourage you to gain a wider perspective.
Bombastic side-eye to people who use fake names and email addresses to leave rude comments. 😉
Stand by your words, I say.