Can Happiness and a Love of Possessions Coexist?

by Katy on August 10, 2010 · 30 comments

The NY Times ran an article on Saturday titled, “But Will it Make You Happy?” The author, Stephanie Rosenbloom focused on Portland blogger Tammy Strobel who made the decision to embrace the simple living movement. She went from working as investment firm project manager in California, to full time blogger and freelance writer in Portland, Oregon. In the process, she:

“Began donating some of their belongings to charity. As the months passed, out went stacks of sweaters, shoes, books, pots and pans, even the television after a trial separation during which it was relegated to a closet. Eventually, they got rid of their cars, too. Emboldened by a Web site that challenges consumers to live with just 100 personal items, Ms. Strobel winnowed down her wardrobe and toiletries to precisely that number.”

Yes, you read that right. 100 personal items.

This decision seems to have been the right one for Strobel, as she reports to be much happier with her current life. I applaud this fellow Portland blogger, but want to counter with the idea that happiness is not just for those who go to the extreme.

I am happy. I am happy in a big house. I am happy in a big house with much more than 100 personal possessions.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not an advocate of clutter, nor am I enamored of each and every object that has snuck its way into my house. I am engaged in a never ending battle against Stuff, crap and general where-did-this-come-from-ism. But I do not believe that having a lot of stuff bars my entrance into the happiness club.

I love setting the table with my Fiestaware. I love that I have enough to throw a dinner party without hitting the paper plate aisle. I love my shelf of books written by family and friends. I love the framed photos of my kids, and I love having enough extra stuff to host house guests and exchange students.

Rosenbloom goes on to interview happiness researcher Professor Lyubomirsky:

” ‘We buy a new house, we get accustomed to it,’ says Professor Lyubomirsky, who studies what psychologists call ‘hedonic adaptation,’ a phenomenon in which people quickly become used to changes, great or terrible, in order to maintain a stable level of happiness.

Over time, that means the buzz from a new purchase is pushed toward the emotional norm.

‘We stop getting pleasure from it,’ she says.”

I absolutely agree with Lyubomirsky’s premise, but want to add a personal note. When I buy things, I generally pay pennies on the dollar, and end up adding high quality and unique belongings to my household. And when I use these items, I get a zing of happiness that does not wane over time. Examples being my $125 antique couch, $18 Maxfield Parrish framed print or my $47 oriental rug. It may sound shallow, but these possessions are part and parcel of my happiness.

Are they the biggest wedge in my happiness pie chart? Of course not. But I just wanted to point out that happiness and stuff can coexist.

Do you agree, disagree? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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The Merits of Used Clothing Translated into Japanese by a 14 Year Old

by Katy on August 8, 2010 · 6 comments

My family has been very busy this week hosting a 14, turning 15 year old Japanese exchange student. (Her birthday was yesterday.) We’ve been having a lot of fun, especially because the adults planned five days of elaborate sightseeing and general tourism mayhem. My 14-year-old son signed up for all five days, and my younger son and I tagged along for the Friday trip.

I sat next to the Japanese middle school English teacher, who complimented me on my son’s Japanese language skills. She also commented on how my son and his host sister had engaged in a long and spirited conversation in Japanese about the pros and cons of buying used clothing. I don’t think of my son as being the biggest proponent of The Compact, but apparently my love of seeking out fabulous second hand goods has gotten through his thick platinum blond mane.

He may not have converted our lovely little Japanese girl, but he certainly made an impression on the Japanese teacher.

Love this kid. He’s one in a million!

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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Pardon Me . . .

by Katy on August 6, 2010 · 7 comments

This week has been super busy for me, with work, hosting a Japanese exchange student and general entertaining.

We hosted a barbecue for a couple families last night to celebrate the Japanese kids, and let me tell ya’, working on minimizing food waste is going to be a major task this week. Our refrigerator is fit to burst and we totally overbought sausages, buns, ice cream, avocados and chips.

Our party was a great example of sharing neighborhood resources, as we borrowed the next door neighbor’s patio table and chairs and then realized at the last minute that we were almost out of nice mustard. This gave me a chance to go to the other next door neighbor’s house and ask them:

“Pardon me, do you happen to have any Grey Poupon?”

I can now die a happy woman.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make do or do without”

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Taking Care of Bidness

by Katy on August 5, 2010 · 12 comments

I wrote last year about taking a day to deal with a bunch of financial loose ends. It was kind of a pain in the tuchus, but I recently did the same thing again with good results. Here’s what I did:

I put the paperwork through to get reimbursed for hosting the UK Soccer coaches. The camps are kind of pricey, and supposedly you get a certain, (yet vague) amount back for feeding and housing the coaches. I’m happy to do this, and would do it for free, but I’m a real fan of letting companies enact their policies. I get annoyed with how this company makes it very difficult to actually get the money that they offer back to the host families.

We will be getting a refund check for hosting four different coaches, and I’ll post about it when this elusive check finally arrives. I’m guessing the check will be around $200, which I certainly wouldn’t throw out of bed for eating crackers.

I called and called about a doctor’s visit from last summer that my insurance company denied. It was “only” $144, but what’s the point of having health insurance if it’s full of errors? I went back and forth between the insurance company and the doctor’s office. I did finally pay the bill as I didn’t want it to go to collections, and then suddenly received a refund check in the mail out of the blue.

This infuriated me as it actually kept me from going to the doctor, as I was afraid that if an ordinary visit was being denied, (I went for strep test, which came back negative) then what would happen if I went in for an actual illness? It certainly gave me sympathy for people who have no health insurance.

Mostly, our financial life is in order. We autopay our electric bill, water, internet, gas, insurance, garbage, mortgage, and car payment. This leaves us just a few bills that need our attention, (Amex, which is a cash-back dealio and a Visa card, which we throw any and and all money at.)

I have fond memories of when my only bills were rent, gas, electricity and a small student loan. Life was so simple back then.

Luckily, the Visa bill will be gone in a couple of months and then the car payment should follow soon afterwards.

Am I done being a grown-up yet? Can I go back to childhood again, Please?

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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Conscious Frugality Through The Ages

by Katy on August 4, 2010 · 5 comments

The following is a reprint of a previously published post. Enjoy!

The Complete Tightwad Gazette

I was given a copy of Amy Dacyczyn’s The Complete Tightwad Gazette when I was on maternity leave with my younger son in 1998. I inhaled it like a starving man at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

I was so obsessed with the book that I even got my sister hooked. (In retrospect, my “Amy says this” and “Amy says that” talk must have become a bit tedious to those near and dear to me.)

As a parent of a newborn, I had ample opportunity for tremendous savings. I made my own baby food, (pureed pumpkin) and put in a big garden. I shopped from thrift stores and garage sales, and said buh-bye to the awkward and expensive double stroller.

Matching suites of baby furniture? Don’t even think about it!

Fast forward ten years, and I still have a soft spot in my heart for Ms. Dacyczyn. But my money saving opportunities have shifted. No longer are my frugal efforts focused on diapers and wipes, but on skateboards and summer camps. (Host one of theU.K. Socca Camp coaches and your kid attends almost for free!) Clothing is still from thrift stores, and I still prepare pumpkin dishes. But the pumpkin puree has been most definitely replaced by pumpkin pie.

As my children age, the money saving opportunities will evolve. I’m sure high school and college will present their own challenges, but I look forward to the challenge.

And that senior discount? Well . . . I only have nine more years before I hit age 50 and can take advantage of 40% off senior days at Value Village.

I can hardly wait.

Parenting is one of the biggest opportunities to spend or save a fortune. Public vs. private school, new clothes and toys, pricey vs. free entertainment, day care vs. at home care. The list goes on and on. For me, the price of having kids has not been expensive, but it has most definitely hindered my money making potential. Which I wouldn’t trade for the world.

Has your conscious frugality changed as your family members have grown up? Please share your insights in the comments section below.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”

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My Fabulous Frugal Find

by Katy on August 3, 2010 · 18 comments

I have an on again, off again series on The Non-Consumer Advocate called Fabulous Frugal Finds. It’s quite simple. Readers send in pictures and descriptions of their fabulous frugal find and I publish them. We’ve seen some very cool stuff, but it’s been awhile since I’ve solicited for submissions.

But I came across the fabulous frugal find of a lifetime, and I want to sing it from the mountaintops. I have been keeping an eye out for a nice oriental rug for years and years. I always glance over at the rugs when I go to thrift stores, but I’d never found anything that really floated my boat. That is, until Saturday. The day that will forever be known as:

“The day I found that I found the brand new, 6′ X 9′  hand knotted wool oriental for for $49.99.” (Minus my 5% Goodwill Club Card discount.)

I’d been using a hand me down acrylic rug which sported a precise iron shaped burn that pretty much dictated my furniture placement. It looked okay, but I knew it was crap. It attracted cat hair and dust like nobody’s business, and truth be told, was kind of too big for the space.

I am guessing that it would cost at least $700 to buy this rug in a regular store.

I can now die a happy woman. Because this non-consumer is all about buying high quality/beautiful items that last forever and are as close to free as possible.

Do you have a Fabulous Frugal Find to share with The Non-Consumer Advocate community? Please send me your photos and description at nonconsumer@comcast.net and you too can sing it from the mountaintops.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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Monday Giveaway — Hand Knit Dish Cloth

by Katy on August 2, 2010 · 33 comments

Today is week three in my weekly Monday giveaways, and today’s offering is a hand knit dish cloth. I’m sure there’s a better name for it, (and I know that the Japanese call them “Tawashis”) but I’m uncertain what that might be. This dish cloth is perfect for wiping down counters, children and wayward husbands. 😉 I have three of four of these, and they’re a great alternative to germy old sponges, not to mention a whole heck of a lot more attractive.

At this point you might be saying “Why Katy, I never knew you were such a talented knitter!” but you would be sadly ill informed. My sister Jessica is the crafty one in the family, (she gets all twitchy if she doesn’t have a project in hand.)

To enter to win, just write your name in the comments section below. I will randomly choose a winner at midnight on Wednesday, August 4th. U.S. residents only, please enter one time only.

Good luck!

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

P.S. I think the dish cloth kind of looks like Oregon, which is cool.

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Uncluttering, Very Slowly — A Guest Post

by Katy on July 31, 2010 · 18 comments

The following is a guest post from 1 Sentence Diary, which is wonderful new blog. It’s written by a high school friend of mine who recently came back into my life. She may have started out with the idea of single sentence posts, but luckily for us, she’s actually writing full length columns. She’s in my blogroll, so make sure to check in on her now and then.

The quest to declutter my home has temporarily moved to the back burner, as summer is a difficult time for me to accomplish much of anything. (Seriously, getting dinner on the table and the laundry tended to is a minor miracle!) Having said that, my 14-year-old son is just now finishing up decluttering his bedroom in anticipating of the exchange student who arrives on Sunday.

I hope you enjoy this column, I know I did!

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

Lately I’ve been feeling somewhat overwhelmed by Stuff. You know, all those things that seem to accumulate in the house. Items that sit around requiring organization and taking up space. All that Stuff.

I’d like to get rid of some of my Stuff. I’m not anywhere near the level of hoarding, but I still have waaaaay more Stuff than I need. Clear and open space in my home makes me feel calmer and more relaxed. I’d like to have more relaxed feelings and less Stuff.

I’ve been working on this project intermittently for about a year. Somehow, though, it seems that as much as I clear away there’s still an enormous amount of Stuff left. I read blogs like Unclutterer and Simpler Living, and though I don’t aspire to the extreme minimalist lifestyle of Miss Minimalist, I do aspire to clean out as much Stuff as I can.

Those of you who follow me on Facebook know that a few months ago I did a massive closet cleanout and brought several large garbage bags of clothes and shoes to my local thrift store. (And, though embarrassing to admit, all of these items came from just one closet. I still have the kids’ closets to go through, the front hall closet, and a couple of storage closets as well.) It’s a wonderful feeling of lightness, like a heavy weight has been lifted, when I can see all the items in the closet and easily find the one that I want. Although I have fewer clothes, I feel like I have more to wear.

But I find that like many of life’s endeavors, uncluttering is an iterative process. I can’t get it all done in one swoop; I have to keep returning to the same items again and again. Looking at my closet today, there are things I had decided to keep just a few short months ago but whichI now know I should give away. There are still some pants that don’t fit me well, some shirts that may be just right for work but which I haven’t worn in at least 5 years, and some cute but very uncomfortable pairs of shoes. I’m not sure why I couldn’t get rid of them on the first round of closet cleaning, but I do know I’m ready to get rid of them now.

With the iterative nature of decluttering in mind, I decided to take a stroll around the main living area of my house to see if there was anything else that suddenly seemed unnecessary.  A quick look around (the space is not very big, after all!) and I immediately found 10 objects that I can definitely do without:

  1. The stereo, including the Speakers,
  2. Receiver,
  3. CD player,
  4. and a double tape deck. Plus all the power cords associated with those items. None of them are even set up at this point! The CD player doesn’t work, we don’t use cassette tapes any more (does anyone?), and we have other means of listening to music and radio. Our small docking station for iPods, which I received as a gift last year, has speakers, a radio receiver, and plays CDs. It’s a lot smaller than the whole stereo, and the fact that it works is clearly a plus! :-)
  5. Staplers. My quick look around found 4 staplers. That’s more staplers than people in the house. Clearly, this is a simple case of disorganization. Since the staplers were scattered around in various rooms, I didn’t realize that we had so many. I’m thinking that one stapler is probably enough.
  6. The Phone Book and Yellow Pages. I resisted getting rid of these for a long time, thinking that it takes too long to boot up the computer just to look up a phone number. But now we have iTouches and laptops which are nearly always on. I can’t remember the last time I cracked open the big old phone books. Time to recycle those.
  7. Broken watches. To be honest, I think some of these aren’t broken, they just need new batteries. But still, how many watches can I use? I wear the same watch every single day. I may keep one extra as a backup, but the rest are headed for the door.
  8. Pieces of non-working humidifiers. Yep, I know it’s hard to imagine in this sticky, hot weather, but in the winter the air around here is so dry that I sometimes run a humidifier in the house. I’m not sure why I saved the pieces from the one that broke two years ago, though.
  9. Tiny tea cups, and saucers. I have a full set of dishes that, though I no longer love the design, I still use regularly for larger groups. Someday I may choose to replace them, but in the meantime they are useful. However, the set came with tiny little teacups and saucers, and I think I have 16 of each. Which we never use. And they are space hogs because they don’t stack well. If we’re going to have a cup of tea (or coffee or hot chocolate or any other hot drink), we use a reasonably-sized mug. I’m packing up those teacups today.
  10. The teacups made me consider some of the other items in my china cabinet as well. I’d rather have a few things that I love than a cabinet full of things I never see.

I couldn’t believe how quickly and easily I found 10 things I don’t need. Maybe I should start looking for 10 things every day! What about you? Are you on an uncluttering kick? If so, what have you found recently?


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Do Coupons Deserve Their Bad Reputation?

by Katy on July 30, 2010 · 14 comments

My Grocery Outlet deals. Fruit, vegetables, grains, olive oil, dairy, seafood and even a treat or two.

Coupons get a bad rap. Sure, there are countless coupons for Lean Cuisine, Count Chocula and Sunny Delight. But there are also huge numbers of coupons for butter, bread and pasta. Add in store specific coupons, and there’s no reason to turn a blind eye to this opportunity for grocery and general savings.

I just now got back from The Grocery Outlet. Although this store does not accept manufacturer’s coupons, it does publish $5 off $25 coupons online occasionally, as well as in The Chinook Book.

Here’s what I bought for $46.13:

  • 2 organic chocolate covered soy cream bars 79¢ apiece
  • 2 cantaloupes 99¢ apiece
  • 3 boxes of ice cream cones for an upcoming party 79¢ apiece
  • 16 ounce jar of organic fair trade honey $2.99
  • 1 jar of marinated artichoke hearts 99¢
  • 10 pound bag of rice $4.99
  • 2 pound bag of shredded cheese for pizzas $4.99
  • Clearance bag of romaine hearts 99¢
  • Clearance bag of broccoli 89¢
  • 24 ounce jar of marinated red peppers $1.49
  • 5 ounce tub of shredded parmesan cheese $1.99
  • 2 boxes of fancy-schmancy Belgian cookies 99¢ apiece
  • 2 boxes of sesame water crackers $1.29 apiece
  • Small round of brie cheese $1.99
  • 2 jars of Knotts Berry Farm blueberry preserves $1.49 apiece. (No high fructose corn syrup)
  • 34 ounce bottle of olive oil $6.99 (We normally buy olive oil at Costco, but this saves me a long drive.)
  • 3 bags of pasta 79¢ apiece

Not a week goes by when I don’t use coupons for something or other. For example, I took the family out for a night on the town last weekend, which included dinner at an Indian restaurant, (A $25 coupon bought for $2 on Restaurants.com) and then fun and games at a slightly smelly historic arcade. (Free because I signed the boys up for their birthday club, which meant free admission for all of us as well as free bags of nickels to play the games!)

I use coupons for two-for-one movie admissions, bowling adventures, bagels, bakery goods, used library books and just about anything else you can think of. I’m not buying anything I wouldn’t have bought in the first place, and we’re able to enjoy many, many screaming good deals.

I have found that the best resources for coupons are the blogs that specialize in them. The Portland area is lucky to have Frugal Living NW, which posts about local deals. (I’ll be able to match a store coupon plus an online coupon to score some free butter thanks to a post from them.) I subscribe to the blog and always take a quick glance to see if there’s anything that appeals to me. It just takes a minute or two, and has clued me into many awesome cheap and free dealios. Your area of the country most likely has a blog that is serving a similar function. It’s hardly any extra work, and I do love me a bargain!

Are you learning to love coupons? Do you feel that coupons are just for people who eat unhealthfully? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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“Your Money: The Missing Manual,” A Winner

by Katy on July 29, 2010 · 4 comments

Congratulations to Sandy whose comment was randomly chosen to win a copy of J.D. Roth’s Your Money: The Missing Manual. And a big thank you to everyone who offered up their financial tips to The Non-Consumer Advocate community. Click HERE to read all the different tips.

Here’s a small sample of the fantastic tips:

From Sandy:

“Best financial tip: Put money in savings!! Save for an emergency fund, save for large purchases, etc. I was a spender in my teenage/college years, and have become a saver over the last 5 years. It feels good to save up for the things I need/want and to have emergency funds in the bank.”

From Lisa:

“My best financial tip is to educate yourself. I was raised by parents who were not particularly good with money, and who did not teach me how to budget or plan for retirement or anything else money related. I read books and magazines, used trial-and-error, and talked to people whose financial sense I admired. I’m still doing all of those things! So, obviously, J.D.’s book would continue my education…. “

From Rachel:

“Give up the little things. Those $1-4 dollars purchases add up fast!!”

From Sharron:

“Spend less than you earn. If possible, keep widening the margin between what you earn and spend. Save some AND give some; then you’ll really live some!”

From Kristen:

“I write down everything I spend in a paper ledger. It makes me think hard about each purchase, because knowing that I have to go home and write it down and total everything up for the day is enough to deter me from most thoughtless or casual spending. It also allows me to track spending patterns over time.”

From BevP:

“Every time I got a raise, I put half of it into the credit union (an automatic payroll deduction). I never missed the money because I never saw it in my paycheck. It really adds up this way.”

From Lucy:

“Simplest ever: don’t ever put anything on credit. It takes 2 seconds to get into debt and sometimes years to climb back out.”

From Kayla K:

“Mint.com! Ever since my boyfriend and I signed up for this online spending tracker we are always reminding each other to “think of your pie chart!””

From Mackenzie:

“Best financial advice: Use cash. This goes back to my days of waitressing, and it works for people (like me) who hate the suffocating restrictions of keeping track of every penny. Take out however much you want to spend on everything for the week (food, gas, fun, etc.) in cash — and when you’ve spent it, you’ve spent it.”

From Lucy:

“Save your receipts and don’t be afraid to return things!”

From Molly on Money:

“Before you buy it ask yourself, ‘Do I really need this?’”

And my hands down favorite is from LeslieK:

“My best financial tip? I guess it would be to enter contests that are giving away great Personal Finance books…then read them.”

I am going to be running giveaways every Monday for at least a few weeks, and will continue as long as I have cool stuff to offer. Next week will be a gorgeous hand knitted wash cloth made by my older sister Jessica. These cloths are fantastic for wiping down kitchen counters, and are a whole heck of a lot more attractive and green than your average plastic-y sponge.

It’s going to be so much fun!

Katy Wolk-Stanley

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”

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